Chapter 2

Dissatisfied

"Ow!" I yelped as I fell over in pain, the thoughts of Edward and Jacob had lashed through my now unkempt hole. I now had to fix that hole up, yet again.

Luckily, my children were all at school, else they would be completely worried about me. My begs under my eyes were a deep purple, my face was skinny and pale. I felt sick to my stomach and I regretted this day for 13 years now.

It was infact, my 30th birthday. I was alone, except for my three children, Renesme, Amelia, and Alex. Or Nessie, Mia, and Al.

The two people who thought had loved me, left me. I knew Edward had left because he didn't love me, and he used me. Jacob, on the other hand had imprinted on another girl. My life was a screw up, and I didn't deserve my children which I had conceived on my own.

I decided to get myself off the rocking chair I had been sitting on since my children had catched the bus, and I took a needless shower.

What was the point? No one loved me? I would never have a love like Jake or Edward anymore. I now will just raise my children on my little cheques, and no longer love anymore. I will be by myself, since I couldn't live happy with anyone.

After, the long, warm shower, I got on a pair of grey sweat pants, and a pink Roots t-shirt and I made my way down the stairs to make my lunch.

"Ugh. Alex ate all the lunch meat again!" I mumbled to myself as I searched the empty fridge for some lunch meat. "Guess, I have to go shopping. Just my luck!"

I slammed the door shut and I heard a loud bang from within. I sighed and ignored it. Another part of my worthless life.

I went out to my chevy truck and went to the grocery store.

The store was just a couple of streets from my house, but I was too exhausted to walk.

I went throught the doors and I was a little happy. A sense of calm had surrounded my insides and had made me happy.

This was wierd. Why was this?

I shrugged it off and stalked off for the meat aisle. I felt as if I was being watched and it bothered me. I felt eyes on the back of my head staring me down, watching my every move.

I turned around and I saw nothing. Just Eli at the cash.

I shook my head and headed for the aisle.

On the way home, I thought I had seen a Silver Volvo. But I was now hallucinating. Wh ywould he be here. He said it would be as if he had never existed, and it was completely opposite.

He had never left my vivid memory since, well, never. I tried not to think about him, and I decided to go pick Nessie up early from school.

I hoped in my truck and headed to Seattle High School.

The parking lot was nearly empty, and I parked beside a BMW jeep.

It look so much like Em-

No! Bella! Quit thinking about him! He is no longer here! He doesn't love you! Get over him!

I flinched as my mind shot at me.

I entered the unfamilliar school, and I asked people around how to get to the office. They all stared at me, with unforeseen eyes. I knew what they were looking at me for, my exterior was very forboding, and I could see that in the students.

I passed many lovebirds in the halls, many students holding hands, I felt as if I was going to burst into a big blob of water, because of the waterworks that were soon going to erupt. But, I held it in. I would not embarass Nessie on her first day of school.

As I rounded the corner of the hallway nearing the school. I saw none other then Nessie.

I waved at her, but I soon recognized who she was holding hands with.

My heart felt as if it had been broken in two, ripped into piesces, stepped on, spat at, and then flushed down the toilet. I felt the tears streaming down my face, and I fell to the ground.

"Why?" I blurted out in frustration.