title: Stories of Us
prompt: SASUSAKU MONTH 2013
rating: T-M

summary: oo2: Sakura learns what it's like to fall in love—and out of it.


.oo2.
Lessons Learned

We were taught several things in school. Lessons on how to divide, on how to figure out what the author's saying his book, and on the significance of a certain war.

They never taught us how to love, so we all ended up having to learn that ourselves.

I was considered a goody-two-shoes throughout school: people even called me the "teacher's pet." I didn't mind. As long as I did my best and gave 100%, I didn't mind at all. I was the girl who would always wear her hair in two braided pigtails every day, making sure her uniform would always be perfect—no wrinkles—and had the knee-high socks with Mary Janes.

Perhaps it was the fact that he was the complete opposite of me that drew me to him. Sasuke.

Every guy wanted to behim. Every girl wanted to be with him. I wasn't an exception. From the classroom windows while taking notes, I would peer out and see him playing hooky with some of his friends, their uniforms amuck and ties slung over their shoulders while they lit each other's cigarettes.

But the way that they laughed together—the way that he would throw his neck back and give a hearty chuckle—made me love him even more. I couldn't help but smile like a little girl every time I saw his smirk, and quickly made sure to look over my notes to see if I had been copying down the board, not drawing our names together.

From rumors, people told me that Sasuke was a bad guy. You didn't want to get involved with him. He had several tattoos on his body, was in the yakuza, and never slept with the same girl twice. He was everything that I should have avoided.

But that one day where I was busy thinking about something, I ran into him and was knocked over. Looking up from the ground, I saw Sasuke's dark glare and expected him to insult me, but instead, he leaned down and helped me up, his lips curling up into a slight smirk that was barely noticeable.

"Watch yourself next time," he said, as his friends laughed from behind. After I dusted myself off, he and his group left, his friends teasing him about me, I presume, and I immediately felt pink come to my cheeks.

I felt Sasuke's calloused hand in my own soft one and wondered if it was because of fighting or hard work that made his hands so rough. Hoping nobody saw, I pressed my hand against my nose and inhaled.

It smelled like him.

.

.

.

I tried to muster up the courage to talk to him again, but I couldn't find the right words or the right time. He was either crowded by a group of guys or girls, or alone with his friends outside partaking in activities I didn't want to get involved in.

Then one day, after school in the library, I was staying after to finish some work so that I didn't have to bring things home. As I was browsing the shelves, I nearly jumped at seeing someone staring straight at me from a crack in the bookshelf.

"You scared me," I said, putting my hand to my heart. He smirked and walked over to my side of the shelf.

"Sorry." He still had that beautiful smirk on. "What are you doing so late?"

I don't know why I answered, but I did. "I'm just finishing some work."

"Aa, Haruno Sakura. The over-achiever."

He knew my name. I gulped. Did he have a bad impression of me as the over-achiever?

I felt Sasuke's hand touch my neck. "You need to relax a little bit and let loose. Have some fun." Without warning, he quickly pulled the hair ties off my braids and ruffled up my hair a little bit.

"That looks better." He pocketed my hair ties. "You look good."

Feeling heat come to my cheeks again, I turned away from him, but he pressed me to the bookshelf and loomed over me. I should have felt scared, but rather, I felt comfortable with him. As if we belonged together.

"You're trembling," he said. I looked down at my knees, which were shaking. Maybe I was a little nervous…

Sasuke leaned closer to me. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "Trust me."

My mind wasn't clear. "I trust you."

His lips touched mine for the briefest of seconds before he pulled away. He watched my eyes for uncertainty before he kissed me again. It was longer this time, and more sweet—like he actually really cared for me.

I put my hands on his shoulders and brought him closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I could feel something warm pressing against my stomach. Embarrassed, I pried myself away, and he realized what he had done.

"I'm sorry," he said, raking his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have—"

"No, I—" I began.

"It's just that…you're beautiful," he sighed. "And you're just a breath of fresh air in my life."

I don't know if I thought he was just kissing up to me so that he could get in my pants, but it almost worked. That is, it would have worked if we did have sex.

"I really like you," I blurted out. He looked at me, his eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"I mean, not just because of your looks. But because of who you are."

He chuckled. That deep throaty laugh that made me love him even more.

"Are you serious? We're the complete opposite. I do everything that you think is evil and wrong."

I took his hand in my own, my thumbs stroking his hard palm. "I like you for it, anyway."

His free hand rested on my cheek, and he kissed me again. Before I could put my arms around his neck, he hiked my shirt up and put his hands over my breasts, parting my legs with his knee. I knew what he wanted. It was obvious from the hot arousal against my skin.

"Kami, Sakura, you make me crazy," he groaned.

Sasuke broke the kiss for a second to carry me to a study table, where he knocked over all the books and laid me on top. He straddled me, kissing me feverishly again, his mouth hot on my skin.

I felt his fingers unbuttoning my blouse, and I closed my eyes shut. Did I want this? Even if it was with Sasuke?

Before I could say anything, though, he cursed out loud. "Fuck!" and he got off me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked like he was in pain. "I can't. I'm sorry."

I'd never heard of Sasuke rejecting a girl in sex, and I immediately saw a different side of him I'd never seen before.

"Why not?" I asked. "It's only one time. You don't sleep with the same girl twice."

For some reason, his face changed. He became angry. "I don't want you to think of me that way. It may be true, but that's why I can't take you—" He sighed. "You're beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. But I won't be able to forgive myself if I have you."

"Are you not sexually attracted to me?" I asked, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "Because I want this, too."

He looked me straight in the eye. "I want to do everything with you. But I'm afraid that if I do, I'll take you off the deep end. I couldn't afford to do that. We don't match. You deserve someone better."

Sasuke saw the tears fall down my eyes and he knew that I was just as hurt as he was.

He kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, Sakura." His fingers helped put the buttons back on my blouse and he stroked my cheek before he turned to leave.

I'm not sure if he heard me cry. Then again, I don't even know if I could hear myself cry.

.

.

.

We all learn something in school. In tenth grade, I learned how to use graph a function by hand. In eleventh grade, I could recite ancient Japanese poems backwards and forwards. And in my senior year, I could write prose that was capable of national awards.

But I never learned how to love. So when Sasuke left me that day in the library, I could feel my heart break into a million pieces.

I knew he cared for me somewhat. I'm not sure if it was a true care or a sexual care, but he cared, nonetheless. Every time I saw him with a group of girls, he wouldn't pay attention to them like he used to. Sometimes he would meet my gaze, but I would turn away quickly before he could do anything.

And when I was in class looking out the window to see him and his friends, there wasn't that throaty laugh anymore that I loved. There was only a nod of agreement and a sneer.

I loved him. I think I still do. But I've learned my lesson, and he taught me something more valuable than any teacher at school taught me.

Sometimes when I'm in the library, I stand near the bookshelf where we kissed. And I swear, I can feel his hard, calloused hand gripping my own.

And I don't feel so alone anymore.


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