The (un)Pleasant Bits of Life
Chapter 2 - The Routine
"We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire."
― George Sand, Mauprat
~~x~~
"Gilbert Beilschmidt."
What is it now?
"It's 9am."
So what?
"It's time for breakfast."
Gilbert suddenly felt cold and exposed, opening his eyes to see a woman wearing white trousers and a white shirt with a blurry logo.
Since when do we have women in our house? Wait. Since when is there a specific time for breakfast at our house?
If this is heaven then I want to go back.
His eyes adjusted to the light and he saw someone put some clothing next to him on the bed and then begin to tap him on the arm.
"I'm awake." Gilbert croaked, surprised at how weak and raspy his voice sounded.
"Well, that's a start. Now get dressed and washed and then I'll tell you what's going on." she sneered, a sarcastic edge in her voice.
She left the room by the door, which Gilbert noticed was white. He sat up and looked around his room.
Everything was white. Clean. Sterile.
White.
The albino noticed the odd smell in the air, the strong smell of bleach and disinfectant stinging his nose slightly.
He looked at the clothes folded neatly into a pile next to his left hand on the bed. The clothes were, of course, white.
He threw his legs to the side of the bed and got up, albeit shakily. He took the clothes on the bed and unfolded them, revealing a long white top which had a logo on the left side; the same logo that the woman had. And some baggy trousers which seemed pretty normal if it weren't for the fact that they were white. And then there were some boxers, which were dark blue for a change.
The clothes he was given were honestly depressive and Gilbert felt like throwing himself in his bed and sleeping until eternity ended.
But life simply wasn't kind enough.
He took off the clothes he had been previously wearing and changed into the clothes the woman had given him. He looked around his room.
There was a window with no curtains but had iron bars and a white bedside table with a book on it. Gilbert wasn't sure what book it was but was willing to bet his life that it was probably a bible. And then there were two doors. One was closed and had a golden door knob whilst the door to the left of the white door was a creamy white and had a silver door knob and was slightly open.
Gilbert opened the door to discover a bathroom with baby blue tiles on the wall (not white for a change!) and a small shower, a toilet and a sink with a mirror above it. The room was small and cramped but it would be enough for a single person.
Knock knock. "Are you done yet?" he heard a muffled voice ask, voice heavy with impatience.
"No." he exclaimed as he picked up his toothbrush.
~~x~~
"I never knew a man could take so long in a bathroom. What were you doing in there? Digging a hole to China?" the nurse, he had found out after questioning, asked.
Gilbert had to admit that he liked her sense of humour, even if he was in a hospital of some kind.
"I take pride in my appearance." he had replied with a hollow tone devoid of any life. Or at least any life worth living.
"Well, you didn't look too well when you arrived here. And are you always so quiet?" the nurse inquired as she handed him a plastic transparent cup with two white pills inside it and a cup with water.
Gilbert looked at the cups then back at her, "Why?" he implored as he pointed at the cups with his right hand.
"Two in the morning, one at night. I'm not really sure, I'm just a nurse. But they're probably anti-depressants." she addressed whilst giving her wristwatch a sideward glance.
Gilbert looked hesitantly at them before picking the cup with the pills and tipping the contents into his mouth and swallowing them dry.
"Are you going to breakfast or not? And, by the way, if you don't then the higher-ups have to force you to eat in case you decide to kill yourself by not eating. Just a heads up that you might wanna go eat. Oh, and if no one has told you yet. You're in a mental hospital!" she observed, speaking the words as casually as if she were speaking about the simple act of folding a shirt.
I knew I was in a hospital... But a mental hospital? Did Ludwig put me here...? Why? Why didn't he just let me die? Why did he have to come and throw me back into the pits of hell and I was just getting out of it?
Gilbert's face distorted in anger as the thoughts ran through his head, his hands at his side started started to tremble and tense up every few seconds. The nurse looked shocked for a moment before putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Don't get angry now. There's no point. Eat and then I'll see if I can get hold of your brother so you can talk to him, okay?" she offered with a small smile.
Gilbert did a curt nod before opening the door and stepping out of his room. "The breakfast room is on your right, the very last room in this hallway on the right." the nurse chimed in before walking to the left of the corridor.
The corridor looked like it had seen better days in its lifetime with it's peeling wall paint and- What's with the white?
Gilbert walked to his right and down the corridor, he followed the nurse's instructions and walked into a medium sized room with 3 large tables. There were a few people on each table, except for one in the corner of he room near the barred window.
There were two large men standing next to the door in black uniforms and what seemed like a taser gun on the holster. Probably security guards, Gilbert mused to himself.
He sat down onto the empty table and waited for a few minutes, fiddling with his crusty scars on his forearm whilst waiting.
Eventually, a nurse gave him a plate and a spork. Yeah, a spork. And a little plastic knife which was so blunt that I doubt it could cut even the softest butter in the world.
The nurse smiled kindly as she put the plate in front of him and left the room, her blonde hair flying slightly as she walked quickly out of the silent room.
Gilbert looked at his plate and grimaced.
Scrambled eggs on toast with a banana? Seriously?
He ate his food in silence, silently complaining in his head at the thought of a breakfast with no sausages and baked potatoes.
When he finished he was about to stand up when a loud and slightly nasally voice spoke over the intercom, "Back to your rooms to see your personal specialist now, please."
Personal specialist? Isn't that just another way of phrasing 'therapist'. Only crazy people get therapists. The insane ones that attempt suicide.
Oh, wait. Yeah. He tried.
He stood up and walked solemnly back to his room. He left the door open and sat on his bed, waiting for his 'personal specialist' as the squeaky woman had put it.
Eventually, a woman with short blonde hair to her chin that curled around her face walked into his room. She locked the door and sat next to Gilbert on the bed.
Gilbert noticed she had blue eyes as she connected her eyes with his. He was lost in a daze as he looked down at his hands.
"So, what's your problem?"
His head snapped up at the blunt remark and looked at her in shock. "...Suicidal." he whispered into the barren room.
White is a boring colour. Dull. Barren. Boring.
"Ah, I know. You're in here, after all!" she declared cheerfully. Gilbert turned his face to her once more and gave her a look of utter annoyance.
Why would she even ask that if she already knew?
Now Gilbert was just getting annoyed beyond return.
"Why are you sad? Did something happen?" she questioned, now sounding serious and respectful as she looked at the ceiling of the room.
"I'm not sad, just hopeless. I lost what I had been trying to build up since I was a child. I lost my dream and my goal. My purpose. All gone. Useless. I had nothing. Relying on my brother to live, I just couldn't do it. I figured it would be best if I just left this world instead of being a nuisance. So I tried. And obviously failed." Gilbert quietly revealed.
It's probably best if I just go along with these stupid people otherwise they won't leave me alone.
The therapist looked at Gilbert with curious eyes whilst he looked down at the floor. After a few seconds she added, "I'm Monika. I'm your therapist. Could you give me more detail as to what you lost and how you felt?".
~~x~~
"Goodbye, Gilbert! Thank you for sharing with me some of your troubles. I'll be back tomorrow, same time!" she exclaimed excitedly as she left the room. There were a few minutes as Gilbert brushed his hair in front of the mirror in the bathroom before a knock came at his door.
"Gilbert?" a bold and masculine voice said as he quickly opened the door and stepped out.
Gilbert stood still for a few moments in shock before walking over to his brother. He held his hand back and slapped him across the face, leaving a crimson patch to blossom on his brother's skin. "What was that for?" the man exclaimed loudly.
"That's for leaving me in here!" Gilbert accused and opened the door and started to push his brother out.
"Gilbert, I'm your brother! Let me at least talk to you!" he ordered firmly, voice made of iron.
Gilbert was about to shut the door on his brother but decided otherwise and sighed as he gave way for the German. He then closed the door behind him and locked it.
Gilbert looked around the room awkwardly, "Sit down on the bed, Ludwig." he remarked.
Ludwig did as told and Gilbert leaned against the wall opposite the German. "I'm sorry for putting you in here but it's for the best. It's for you to get better." Ludwig explained.
"You think that will will fix me? Do you actually believe that you can FIX ME?" Gilbert screamed in the German's face, his features distorted in anger. "DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?" he screamed, louder this time.
Ludwig looked shocked for a second, "It's for your own go-"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT! I'M NOT BROKEN! HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT THIS WILL 'FIX ME'!" Gilbert screamed, his voice getting hoarse from screaming.
"If anything, this will make me worse. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" He screamed once more.
Ludwig looked down at his hands and shook his head.
"Get out. Just get out." Gilbert calmly commanded as he pointed to the door.
Ludwig looked up at Gilbert, a silent plea evident in his eyes. With no mercy to offer from the scarlet eyes, Ludwig stood up and unlocked the door. He looked back one last time and then shut the door.
Gilbert collapsed onto his bed, trembling with his hands over his face. A silent and lone tear slipped down his face and onto the sheets. It was going to be a long day.
~~x~~
The nurse from when he woke up was back. Gilbert had noticed that she had long brown hair down to her mid-back and it was wavy and shone golden in the sun. She had moss green eyes and a certain mischievous air around her.
"So, let's see if I can remember this. 9am is breakfast. 10am is therapist. 11am is free time. 12pm is lunch time. 1pm and onwards is free time. 6pm is dinner time. 7pm is 1-hour play and 8pm is lights out? Is that all?" Gilbert recited whilst counting on his fingers.
"Yes, that's all. But occasionally there are some meetings but they tend to be held at 11am. The free time from 1pm 'til 6pm is when you're allowed to do whatever you want in your room. It's quite simple after a while..." the nurse mused as handed Gilbert his final pills for the night.
"More pills?" he teased before swallowing them, handing the plastic cup back to the nurse.
"I'm Liz, by the way." the nurse added before waving a goodbye, turning off the lights in the room and closing the door. Locked, of course.
Gil pulled the bed covers up to his neck and sighed as he closed his eyes. "Today was a long first day..." he whispered quietly to himself.
He turned to the side and attempted to sleep, his legs curled closer to him in a foetal position.
~~x~~
4 hours later
"Dammit, why can't I fall asleep?"
~~x~~
4 hours later
"It's 8am and I have to be up in an hour but I still can't fall asleep... Damn it!"
~~x~~
1 hour later
A knock at his door signalled the nurse's arrival. "Rise and shine, it's your second day." the now familiar voice greeted as she entered the room holding a cup and two pills.
"I can't sleep." he mumbled.
"I'll get you some sleeping pills for tonight then. Here are your anti-depressants for today. Enjoy your day!" she smiled.
Gilbert rolled his eyes, I'll try, he mused.
~~x~~
A/N: If you are reading this second chapter... I thank you so much! Even if you haven't enjoyed it, thank you for giving me a second chance! I hope you enjoy this attempt at a romance story! xD Please review, if you can, my chapters and give as much criticism as possible! I would love to know how to make people enjoy my stories more and reviews keep me going.. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter!
No, Liz isn't part of the pairing... Sorry PruHun shippers! xD PruHun is one of my OTPs, but unfortunately not a pairing in this story... Maybe some other time! :)
The character that will be the other half in this pairing will appear in the next chapter...
(I'm actually surprised I'm even writing a second chapter... I think I may actually finish this story!) xD Although I'm not too sure about the ending, I'll have to tweak it a bit before I can finish this story. :3
Right now, I'm expecting 10 chapters for this story so we'll see how that works! :D
-Cat/HetaliaMonster