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You all should go listen to Meditation Field from Paprika. It's fun!

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"I can't really remember her."

At the moment, Squall's arm was growing a bit tired, as it had rested underneath Rinoa's head for the past half hour. But as she stared at his vanilla ceiling with her eyebrows furrowed, he didn't really care his arm was losing blood. His bed sheets lay mostly off the bed. It was summer, and for the most part, his air conditioning didn't work. Not that he really minded. Rinoa had gotten into the favor of wearing less and less clothes as the days wore on.

Not that he was really looking.

"Nothing?"

Rinoa shook her head and turned into him, laying a hand on his chest. It relieved his arm. Kind of. "I was five. Mostly I remember my fourth birthday when I ripped my toenail off on our steps."

"Pleasant childhood memory."

"Painful enough to remember." She blew a strand of hair away from her face. "My mother was always nice. I wasn't focused on remembering her forever. I mean...I thought she'd be there forever." She plucked at his shirt fabric and bit her lip. Squall turned his head to look at her, incredibly aware of how close her face was to his. It wasn't as if they had much room to be away from each other, in his twin bed. And he had gotten used to being close to her, sleeping with each other on occasion. But without her initiating the kiss, smiling at him, snuggling into his neck...

He was very aware.

"...any pictures of her?"

"...a few, I guess. There were more, but he hid a lot of them. Or threw them away." Obvious agitation lay in her voice, and Squall regretted asking. It wasn't his business, but he didn't want her hating her father any more than she already did. Not because he wanted them to be buddy-buddy and to resolve any daddy issues she might have...but just because any time he was brought up in conversation she'd stop being Rinoa. Happy Rinoa. Not even bi-polar teenage Rinoa. Just stubbornly fussy.

"The ones that you know about?"

She seethed and attempted to control herself. "...she just. Looked a lot like me."

If Squall were any more of a romantic, any more of a sociable creature, he would've responded, 'Beautiful like you?' Unfortunately, Squall only thought about it, and instead chose to move her stray band of hair away from her face before she could get annoyed. He was surprised his arm still had nerves.

"...and she looked happy."

Why wouldn't she?

"...I remember thinking that was odd." Rinoa shifted onto her back, still close to Squall. "I think it was because of her song. Y'know, 'Eyes On Me'?"

Squall's first reaction was to feel a bit pained that she would think he forgot the song. Honestly, he had forgotten a lot of it, but he remembered her singing it to him on the Ragnarok. What stopped him from turning his head away was the slow realization that she had just said it was her mother's song.

Squall wasn't really into music.

Without any reaction from Squall, Rinoa looked at him with an, 'are you serious' look. "'Eyes On Me'?" He shrugged slightly. As much as his trapped arm let him. "...it was like. On the charts for a year. Even Zell knows what it is, and it's a ballad."

To that, Squall let himself turn his face away from her, only to stare at a blank wall. "I guess Zell's more cultured than I am." A voice mocked him inside his head. Talking to a wall, Squall?

"He just gets out more than you."

"...what-"

"Whatever."

Squall looked at her, obviously peeved, to which she only grinned at him before returning to stare at the ceiling, clearing her throat to make the point she was going to continue despite his lack of knowledge. "Well, it didn't sound like it was about my father...no, it wasn't. She told me it wasn't." She smiled, and Squall was glad whatever she was thinking about was pleasant. Too often her childhood led to frustration or sadness. "...said it was a secret. It wasn't like she was cheating, though. It was about a lost love...said he went off to war."

"...sounds more like a fairy tale."

"....guess so." She continued to stare at his ceiling. He continued to stare at her. Every day he knew her he felt like he was learning so much about her. A person. Not just a rebellious teenager...but someone with a full life, someone with situations that affected who they were now. Her mother, her father, the man his mother loved before, the car crash, leaving home...

Squall had never wanted to know someone as much as he did now, for her.

"What?"

"...what?"

"You're staring at me."

With the way she was looking at him, through the corner of her eyes and a bite of the lip, he smiled a bit. "I'm being a good listener. Mother, eyes, cheating." She frowned but didn't say anything, instead returning her attention to the ceiling. "...so you still miss her?"

"Well, duh." ...should it be that obvious? I don't miss my parents. Not that he knew anything of them. Memories like flashes of light resembling his mother...but that was it. Could Rinoa remember any more than that? Could he? "I mean. Like I said...I don't remember much. But I remember what it's like to be hugged by her. To just sit on her lap as she read a book...or something. It was...warm. Safe. Comfortable." ….I remember that, too. "...I never felt like that with anyone else. Well."

...me. She didn't say it. Didn't make any gesture toward him. But, and maybe he was fooling himself...she was going to say, 'except you'. No. He really was fooling himself. Dating for not even a year, no mention of love, no mention of the future or commitment. There was nothing to make him think she was going to say that.

...except maybe the whole 'Sorceress and Knight' thing.

"It's hot in here." An obvious attempt at changing the subject. Squall didn't mind. Even if he was sure that's what she was going to say, that she felt that comfortable with him, he wasn't sure enough not to fear rejection. So, instead of ignoring her statement and asking her to continue her train of thought, Squall grunted in agreement, sighed, and slowly slipped his arm back from underneath Rinoa's head. The prickles began.

"I can open the window."

"We won't get sucked outside?"

"...I. I don't think so."

"...then you really should have done that in the first place."

Squall didn't bother arguing with her, pointing out the fact that it was she who barged into his room (locking his room seemed to have no effect...he was starting to get worried whenever she wasn't hovering over him at least a few times a week) and kissed him, telling him how great she felt and suggesting they take a nap together.

...it was hard to believe a year ago Squall would've freaked over that.

Awkwardly, and with a laugh from Rinoa, Squall managed to roll over her and onto his floor. He pried open the window and let his elbows rest on the sill, enjoying the wind as it rushed past his face. The Garden hadn't much need to move lately, instead choosing a temporary resting place next to Balamb. The townspeople didn't seem to mind. Squall guessed it was because their sons and daughters were a walk away.

Squall looked back to see that Rinoa had closed her eyes. He leaned against the window, content on watching her, though he would've preferred a thanks, admittedly.

"...you know what else?"

"...what?" She hadn't opened her eyes.

"...I miss my father."