Alright, we're starting with Joker vs Sweet Tooth

The screen showed various scenes of what Squad 13 could recognize as clowns.

Wiz: They visit you for birthday parties, cheer you up when your sad...and probably also want to kill you
Boomstick: Clowns...

The first voice had an air of intellect to it while the second was more carefree and joking. Ai looked scared at all the scenes showing clowns and cuddled up to her mom.

"It's okay, Ai. They won't really hurt you." Kokoro assured her daughter.

Boomstick: The Joker, Gothams Jester of Genocide.
Wiz: And Sweet Tooth, the Violent Victor of Twisted Metal.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win...A DEATH BATTLE.

The screen then shows a dark city

Boomstick: Gotham City, a vile breeding ground for criminals and crazy people.
Wiz: In such a bleak city, it's important to look for humor wherever you can, even if it's during the act of murder. And no one gets more jollies out of ruthless felonies than The Joker.

The scene showed the Joker himself shooting a gun. Ai squeaked in fear and cuddled up to Kokoro with Mary doing the same with Futoshi.

Joker: I'm here, bitches! And I brought favors for everybody!
Boomstick: But before he became the Clown Prince of Crime, who was he? A thief who accidentally got his pregnant wife killed? A mob boss who stabbed Batman's girlfriend? A petty thug in the wrong place at the wrong time? Nobody knows for sure, not even The Joker himself.

"Mama, who do you think he was?" Ai questioned Kokoro as she looked up at her.

"I'm not sure sweetie. But he's not that person he used to be anymore." Kokoro said, feeling a little sorry that the Joker couldn't even remember who he was. Hiro, Zero Two and Mitsuru nodded grimly, remembering when their memories were wiped by VIRM when they were under the guise of APE.

Wiz: What we DO know is that most likely at some point, he fell into a vat of mysterious chemicals, and Batman was involved. However he came to be, from that moment on, his body and mind were altered forever.

It then showed various horrific acts Joker did while he laughs maniacally. This terrifies Squad 13, even the usually stoic Hachi is sweating nervously. Ai lets out a sob and hides in Kokoro's chest, who is just as terrified as her daughter. Mitsuru quickly holds his wife and daughter close.

Boomstick: With a new smile big enough to rival the Grinch, the Joker decided he'd make sure the whole world would share in his sick joke.

"I highly doubt I wanna be around for any of his jokes." Zorome said with a freaked out expression.

Wiz: And what comedy act would be complete without a few wonderful toys?

"I don't think any toys he has is gonna be classified as wonderful." Hachi said, already not liking this guy.

Boomstick: This guy may like his pistols, machine guns, and explosives, but outside of that, his taste in weaponry is anything but simple.

It then showed Batman punching Joker, who covered his face before a fake eyeball popped out and began emitting smoke. Batman quickly grabbed Batgirl and jumped to safety as the eyeball exploded.

"Jeez, they weren't kidding with not simple." Goro mumbled at the rather bizarre trick.

Boomstick: Like a true prankster gone mad, he carries razor sharp playing cards, a gag flower filled with acid, an electric hand buzzer that goes a...little too far...

Squad 13 cringed when the joybuzzer part showed a guy being turned into a melted skeleton by Joker's Joybuzzer. And they knew it was only going to get worse.

Wiz: But deadliest and most haunting of all is his trademark Joker Venom, a deadly concoction which poisons its victims, forcing them into fits of laughter so uncontrollable that they suffocate and die, while contorting their facial muscles into a nightmarish grin.

Ai screamed and covered her face and started crying while Kokoro and Mitsuru tried comforting her

Boomstick: Talk about killing the audience. (chuckles) Oh...man, that shit looks dangerous to carry around.

"NO SHIT!" Zorome and Miku said at the same time while Futoshi was sweating nervously as he held Mary close to him

Wiz: Fortunately for the creepy clown, he's manufactured so much Joker Venom over the years, repeated exposure has given him immunity to his own toxin. But the laughing gas isn't all that makes him a threat in battle.

It then shows Joker slamming a guys face into a pencil he embedded into a table. Everyone flinched at the sudden violent act as Kokoro covered Ai's eyes.

Joker: Ta-dah! It's...ah, it's gone!
Boomstick: He's a cunning strategist who screws with the minds of the sane and insane alike, he can whip up disguises so convincing, that not even the world's greatest detective recognized him, and for a guy this lanky, he's also surprisingly great going fist to fist.

Squad 13 looked impressed to see Joker holding his own against Batman

Wiz: And like most heroes and villains who've been in the game since the 1940's, of course, he has his own car.

"Whoa, that actually looks pretty cool." Zorome admitted, with Futoshi, Miku and Mary nodding in agreement. Ai looked amazed at the rather funny looking car Joker was driving.

"It has a funny face!" Ai pointed out, the others didn't share her enthusiasm, finding Joker's face to be admittedly disturbing.

Boomstick: Look at that thing! God, I really need to get back to work on the Boomstickmobile.

It shows a Hot Dog car and most of Squad 13 stifle their laughter at the sight.

Wiz: The Jokermobile, as it's called, was built to compete with the legendary Batmobile.
Boomstick: It has mounted machine guns, a bulletproof exterior, and a lethal cannon up top that can spew missiles everywhere!

"Wish our old FRANXX's could do that." Goro said, thinking it would have been much easier to fight with weapons like that.

"Maybe I could figure something out." Ikuno said, scratching her chin as she studied the weaponry shown.

Wiz: After so many years of terrorizing Gotham and beyond, The Joker has more than earned his role of sworn enemy to the Batman. Despite Batman's ludicrous skill and intellect, The Joker's forethought and planning has outsmarted Bats numerous times. In some cases, he's even gone hand to hand and held his own with the Caped Crusader.
Boomstick: Who was trained by ninjas!

"Batman sounds really smart and tough. To think a clown like that could be able to outsmart him..." Ichigo said nervously, shuddering.

"Maybe we'll see a video of what Batman can do in the future." Naomi said as they continued watching

Wiz: He's outfoxed plenty of other heroes too, including Superman, who's brain can function thousands of times faster than humans, like Joker.

"I'm starting to think he ISN'T human..." Hiro mumbled, with Zero Two nodding at her darlings words.

Boomstick: He incapacitated Wonder Woman with just a puff of Joker Venom, blew up Robin after viciously beating him with a crowbar, and when he tracked down Batgirl...

Kokoro covered Ai's eyes again as it showed Joker shoot Barbara Gordon, Batgirl's Alter-Ego.

Boomstick: Well, let's put it nicely and say that she became handi-capable from that point on.

"Dear god..." Nana said covering her mouth in horror

Boomstick: And thanks to his own insanity, The Joker has stupidly high pain tolerance. The dude got a batarang lodged in his eye, and was still running around, laughing and shooting people! God damn, that's almost as bad as the time he had his own face cut off for giggles.

Kokoro shielded Ai from the gruesome sight of Joker's own face pasted to a wall and Mitsuru shielded his wifes eyes as well. Futoshi and Mary held each other close and squeezed their eyes shut while Ichigo covered her mouth while looking deathly pale.

Wiz: That's way worse! Ugh! He can certainly take the pain, but this sadistic psychopath is still no harder to kill than most of his victims.
Boomstick: He can die from certain poisons, neck snapping, being stabbed by Pirate Batman, getting bitten by Vampire Batman, and even just a good old fashioned Superman high five.

Kokoro once again had to cover Ai's eyes as it showed the multiple violent deaths Joker had suffered.

"AND HE JUST COMES BACK FROM THAT?!" Miku screeched as she cuddled up to Zorome, appaled that someone like Joker could come back from that.

Wiz: But one thing remains certain, having this clown show up for your party would make it one bad day.

Everyone gulped, Joker seemed like a really terryfing figure. Ai was shaking from the horrible scenes she had just watched and Kokoro had to hug her close while whispering comforting words to her and Mitsuru stroked her back. Zero Two shook her head in disgust at the atrocities Joker commited and Goro looked nervous as he patted Ichigo's back, who was shaking while her skin was pale as a ghost.

"What about Sweet Tooth?" Futoshi said nervously and soon the scene changed to the other contender, showing random acts of violence and death happening.

Wiz: How far would you go to have your greatest wish granted? How much would you destroy to get your way?

Boomstick: Any extreme!

Everyone looked disapproving. Even Ai could tell that was not a good thing to do

Wiz: For those willing to go to any extreme, the annual Twisted Metal contest is right up your alley!
Boomstick: In Twisted Metal, competitors smash vehicles into public property and each other, and that's when they're not shooting crazy shit like rockets and bombs all over the place! God, that'd be fun...

"That's horrible. It's almost like people using FRANXX to fight to the death." Ikuno said while holding Naomi's hand tightly

Wiz: The insane lure of Twisted Metal attracts some of the most deranged and unstable minds in the world, including a clown with a flaming scalp, the driver of the infamous ice cream truck called Sweet Tooth.

Everyone saw a mildly overweight man pick up a cigar and put it to his head, lighting it on fire. Ai looked amazed at the rather detailed flames while the others looked shocked that he wasn't even feeling pain from that.

Needles: Light 'em up, boys.

Boomstick: Before he was a scary serial killer driving a truck, Marcus Kane was a scary ice cream man driving a truck, and like every ice cream man I know, Marcus had a serious evil split personality problem.

Despite what Boomstick said, Marcus Kane looked like a really friendly guy, happily giving some children ice cream but when Squad 13 knew something bad was going to happen.

Wiz: Trapped within his head, this sinister side desperately clawed for freedom, eventually forcing Marcus to finally give in and carve his new persona a face. On that day, Marcus Kane died, and the rampage of Needles Kane began.
Boomstick: Needles spent his days murdering anyone he could find, including his own wife and child.

Mitsuru paled as Kokoro let out a choked silent cry while everyone else looked just as horrified. Ai looked up at her mom with worry.

"Mama, why would he kill his family? Shouldn't he love them?" The precocious child said, Mitsuru looked sad as he pet his daughter on the head.

"He must have went too far down, sweetie. It's happened to a lot of people." Mitsuru said, remembering how unstable The Nines were after the true colors of VIRM were revealed.

Wiz: He prefers killing up close and as violently as possible, with his giant serrated machete.
Boomstick: Which tons of people have been introduced to. They're dead now.
Wiz: By his own account, he slaughtered a thousand people before he was finally arrested, it was here he was cursed by a preacher named... Preacher, to suffer the fires of Hell, which apparently means having your head burst into flames, forever.

'So that's how his head is on fire.' Everyone said in their heads as they Sweet Tooth's head light on fire.

Boomstick: Enraged, he busted out, and was eventually found by a man named Calypso. See, Calypso was the one organizing the Twisted Metal tournament, and he thought Needles would be just perfect for it.
Wiz: For Needles, winning Twisted Metal meant having any wish of his choosing granted, he could finally end the everlasting pain... or have all the candy in the world, anything, really, how could he say no?

Ai and Futoshi looked excited at the prospect of having all the sweets in the world, but they knew killing for it was terrible so they grounded themselves.

Boomstick: Needles knew just the car that would take him to victory, complete with tasty treats! His ice cream truck, the Sweet Tooth.

"Wait, he's named after his vehicle?" Miku said in confusion.

"Apparently so." Nana said as she saw the intimidating truck in question.

Wiz: This modified Chevrolet step van is anything but what it appears to be, with it's shocking maneuverability and durability, Sweet Tooth is like a tank, capable of taking loads of damage without stopping.
Boomstick: The Sweet Tooth menu includes front mounted spikes, Gatling guns, and homing ice cream cone missiles, and for the cherry on top, he blasts the explosive clown head from the roof as a homing weapon, which laughs and goes through walls. If that's not enough, it transforms into a God damn robot!

"HOLY CRAP!" Zorome said in shock as the Sweet Tooth vehicle transformed into its Mech form.

"Almost like a FRANXX..." Hachi said as he studied the transformed metal beast.

Wiz: The Sweet Bot carries a massive, multi-barrel Gatling gun, reinforced armor plating, and can even throw its own head like a grenade.
Boomstick: But the real beauty's in the Sweet Slam, an attack where the bot launches into the air with its jetpack, and drops like a hammer, with enough force to crush a whole building.

Everyone shuddered, imagine if that was made into a FRANXX, it would be unstoppable!

"So glad the old man never thought to make something like that." Hachi said. Even during the battles against the Klaxosaurs, it would have been overkill.

Wiz: Sweet Tooth can take dozens of missiles and keep on trucking, but even without his wheels, Needles is one tough son of a bitch, he's strong enough to casually shatter reinforced windows, tough enough to take a stab to the face...
Boomstick: And even survived the electric chair, doesn't that mean he gets to walk free? I read that on the internet once.
Wiz: No, first, that's a myth, second, a person wouldn't be able to walk after getting blasted with over 2,000 volts of electricity, stopping their heart, burning their body, paralyzing their muscles, and melting their eyes, unless your Needles Kane, who broke out of the chair, killed everyone, and escaped.

Everyone looked horrified that Sweet Tooth was able to survive something like that

"Is he made of Titanium?!" Zorome shouted in disbelief.

"More than likely..." Zero Two said, stunned into silence.

Boomstick: See, this is why anytime I meet a clown, I take 'em out right away.
Wiz: When has a clown ever done anything to you?
Boomstick: They've never had the chance. Heh, who's laughing now, Chuckles?

"I don't think all clowns are like that." Mitsuru said, seeing Ai look sad that Boomstick would just kill a clown without letting them explain themselves.

Wiz: But Needles is by no means unkillable, and Calypso has played him for a fool more times than not, like when he wished to find his missing daughter, so he could kill her, and wound up trapped and suffocating in her coffin, underground, because she was already dead.

"Serves that bastard right." Zorome spat with Miku and Ikuno vigorously nodding in agreement.

Boomstick: Still, it just goes to show, Needles and his Sweet Tooth will do anything it takes to get the kill.

It then shows Sweet Tooth killing a man...with an ice cream scoop

Boomstick: Fucking clowns!

Squad 13 looked at each other, it seemed it was time for the two killer clowns to duke it out.

"Who do you think is gonna win?" Futoshi said nervously. If the hefty boy was being honest, he didn't want either of the contenders to win, they both were horrible in their own way.

"Mama, who's the nicer clown?" Ai said nervously. She was a little sad at Sweet Tooth's backstory. What if her Papa ended up like that.

"I don't know, sweetie." Kokoro said sadly as Mitsuru looked grim.

"Cheer up, cutie." Zero Two said, poking the little girls cheeks. "There's nothing to worry about, they aren't real and your Mama and Papa love each other very much."

Mitsuru nodded, he would not allow himself to be corrupted like Marcus had. The battle then started, showing Joker walk up to a black car.

Joker: Hmm...I like the model but not really my color...

Joker pulled out a spray can and was soon driving in the car, which had been repainted in his image. It then shows Sweet Tooth admiring an ice cream cone in his hands.

Sweet Tooth: Ah...It's perfect!

Joker suddenly drove past and scooped up the ice cream from Sweet Tooth's hands. This pisses off the flame headed clown as he gets in his truck and drives after the Clown Prince of Crime, ramming into him from behind. Joker began laughing as he turned the car to face his foe.

FIGHT

Joker opens the hatch of his car and begins firing a Tommy Gun at Sweet Tooth, who returns fire with the gatling guns on his truck

Sweet Tooth: You're road kill! ROAD KILL! YOU HEAR ME!?

The truck bumps into Joker's car and causes it to spin, which only serves to make the villain laugh hysterically before inspecting the various buttons.

Joker: Ooh, so many buttons! Eeny, meeny, miney... all of them!

Joker started pressing multiple buttons, which fired various weapons that caused Sweet Tooth to swerve to avoid them. Joker then saw a big red button and pressed it, causing the car to zoom forward.

Joker: BEST BUTTON EVER!

The Sweet Tooth launches the clown head homing missile, which takes down the Jokermobile in the air and causes it to crash into a building. Joker gets out from the car and coughs weakly.

Joker: Really? Can't just let a guy have his fun...

Sweet Tooth stops his truck and switches gears as he prepares to charge at his opponent. Joker gets up and prepares himself.
Joker: Okay okay, let's go!
Sweet Tooth: Here I come, scrawny!

Joker stands his ground as the Sweet Tooth charges at him. He starts taunting his opponent.

Joker: All right let's see it! Come and get it, tough guy! You miserable excuse for a clown! Come on!

Just as it seems Sweet Tooth is about to run Joker over, he pulls out a ridiculously long barreled pistol and shoots it at the truck's tire, taking it out and causing Sweet Tooth to lose control. As he's spinning wildly, Joker takes the opportunity and leaps in the ice cream truck.

Joker: Oooh excuse me! I want to drive!

Joker and Sweet Tooth over the steering wheel and crash into multiple vehicles. Joker stops when the flames on Needles's head burns his hand.

Joker: Let me put that out for you!

Joker sprays his acid flower in Needles's face while laughing, causing the car to go even more out of control. He eventually regains his sight.

Sweet Tooth: Shut up and bleed you motherf-

Joker interrupts him by electrocuting him with his joy buzzer but his rival clown survives the attack.

Sweet Tooth: Get out!

Sweet Tooth kicks Joker out of his vehicle and onto the sidewalk.

Joker: Ow! My spleen!

Needles stops the car.

Joker: Can't take a joke, can you, big guy?
The Sweet Tooth transforms into the Sweet Bot right in front of The Joker's face, baffling even him.

Joker: Okay... THAT'S funny.

The Sweet Bot smacks Joker across the city. The Clown Prince of Crime crashes into a shopping mall. The mech flies to catch up as Joker finds himself impaled on a metal pole in some of the rubble he just caused. He laughs and coughs in pain as the Sweet Bot slowly walks up to finish him off

Joker: Okay... let's, let's talk about this. Killing someone from inside a tin can? That's no fun!

The Sweet Bot stops upon hearing Joker's words.

Joker: The cold of their skin... The blankness of their eyes... The reveal, of who they really are... So much better when you savor all the little emotions...

Sweet Tooth exits the Sweet Bot, taken in by Joker's words. He prepares his machete and starts dragging it as he walks towards the crippled clown.

Joker:...Right?
Sweet Tooth: Right...

Sweet Tooth lifts Joker off of the pole and holds him by the neck.

Sweet Tooth: I want to see you bleed... I want to watch you die...

Joker weakly holds a finger up as it seems Sweet Tooth is about to deal the killing blow.

Joker: Just... one more lesson, capiche? The best kind of punchline...*chuckles* is the one you don't see coming!

Joker sprays Sweet Tooth with his Joker Venom and escapes his grasp. Needles drops his machete and grabs his face.

Needles: Ugh! What is this!?

Joker starts laughing in triumph as Sweet Tooth tries to choke him to death.

Sweet Tooth: DIE DIE DIE die... hehehe

Sweet Tooth starts laughing uncontrollably as nightmarish visions of Joker flash on screen before collapsing to the ground, choking on his laughter as Joker laughs in victory. Several police cars are heard driving up

KO!

Squad 13 stared in horror at what had just happened, Ai was sobbing her eyes out, Miku had fainted and a strange odor was suddenly smelt

"Crap..." Zorome growled as he got up and ran to the bathroom. Soon, Wiz and Boomstick were heard

Boomstick: Oh come on. It wasn't that funny.
Wiz: Both clowns were skilled in combat, but Joker's superior tactics and unpredictable weaponry gave him the leg up he needed.
Boomstick: When you have a toxic gas so deadly it can take out the entire Justice League, all The Joker needed was one opportunity to use it.
Wiz: And despite his lanky frame, The Joker can take a lot of punishment, and he's good enough to survive hand to hand combat with Batman.
Boomstick: Hell, he's smart enough to trick Batman and even manipulate the incorruptible Superman into being pawns in his schemes.
Wiz: As opposed to Needles, who's mental capacity is limited to just one thing...
Boomstick: Murder, murder, and more murder, with a dash of ice cream.
Wiz: The Joker has plenty of experience manipulating the minds of homicidal maniacs. In fact, many people like Needles have wound up in Joker's game. It was only a matter of time before he made his opportunity to use the Joker Venom.
Boomstick: Joker wasn't clowning around in this gas of a fight that had us on pins... and needles.
Wiz: We should really put you on a limit.
Boomstick: Aw, come on, Wiz. Those puns were Sweet.

Squad 13 had to admit, Boomsticks jokes were pretty funny. Except for Ikuno, who looked annoyed. Kokoro continued comforting Ai as best she could.

Mitsuru: Let's hope the next video we see doesn't have disturbing imagery like that...

Ai cuddled up to her mom as they left the room. Miku stood up and stomped off, disgusted by the horrific fight that had just been watched while Futoshi decided to take Mary to his bakery to take their minds off the Joker and Sweet Tooth.

"Well, what did you think, Darling?" Zero Two as she looked at Hiro.

"I think...Well...I think the next video better be more easier to watch then what we just saw." Hiro said with a sweatdrop.

"Agreed." Everyone who was still in the room said before turning the TV off and leaving to continue with the day.

Phew! That was tight! Tell me what you think!

I still don't own Death Battle or Darling in the FRANXX.