"No!" Clarke yelled as she saw Lexa lose consciousness, she began to frantically search for a pulse. She had let the shock of the moment overcome her, letting her feel hopeless. But she couldn't let Lexa go. She had told her not to give up, and Clarke wouldn't give up either. There had to be a way.

"She has gone," Titus told her.

Clarke shook her head, her hand resting on Lexa's neck, "You're a Flamekeeper. Not a healer. Lexa is alive, but only just. I need… I need some plastic tubing and some needles. I have a plan."

"Clarke?" Murphy asked, "Clarke, tell him to untie me so I can help."

"He is a thief," Titus protested.

"Yes," Murphy said, "And you'll be a dead man if those little baby Lexas find out you let their Commander die, so untie me so I can help Clarke."

Clarke nodded, as Titus began to untie Murphy, "And go and get Aden."

Titus nodded, as Murphy jumped up and went to Clarke's side, just as Titus rushed out of the door.

"Lexa's blood," Clarke began, "It's nightblood. I don't know what that means. But.. but if a nightblood were to give blood to another nightblood. With Aden's help, I could…"

Murphy nodded, "It could work. I heard about the blockade… Octavia was here, apparently. Would she still be here? I mean, if she could get back to camp, your Mom…"

Clarke smiled, "Yes, I told her I would be leaving, well, now. Her room is just down the corridor, third on the left."

Murphy nodded before leaving quickly.

"Your fight isn't over, Lexa," Clarke told her, using the cloth to clean away some of the blood and get a better look at the wound, "So you better keep holding on, just like I know you can. Octavia's going to get my Mom, she'll know what to do. Until then your nightbloods will be able to help you. I'm not giving up. Never."

"Heda?" Clarke heard a young boy's voice say, and then saw Aden dart quickly to Lexa's side.

"What happened?" Aden asked, worry clear in his eyes.

"She was shot," Clarke explained, giving Titus a look that told him they would speak later, and he wouldn't like what she had to say, "I need your help, Aden. To keep Heda alive."

"That was the first of the oaths that I swore," Aden told her, with a sincerity beyond his years.

"Ok," Clarke began, "Lexa has lost a lot of blood. My Mom will be here at the earliest by tomorrow morning. I assume there is some protocol in place? To allow Octavia and my Mom to travel here safely."

Aden nodded, "The Flamekeeper operates in place of Commander when she is too ill to perform her duties and the council cannot be postponed."

"I will argue for allowances to be made," Titus said, "If the council votes yes, then we will go ahead. If not, I will send one of the generals to ensure their safety. I must go speak to them."

Clarke nodded, "Thank you, now, Aden. I need to replace Lexa's blood with nightblood. To keep her alive, I need you and the other nightbloods to help me, ok?"

"Clarke," Aden said with a slightly amused and confused look, "I told you only a minute ago that my first oath was to keep my Heda alive."

Clarke nodded, with a slight smile.

"Do it," Aden said holding out an arm to her, as Titus passed her the plastic tube and needles that she needed and Clarke arranged them.

Clarke looked down at Lexa worriedly. The girl looked pale and her skin was ice cold to the touch. She only had an hour or so if this didn't work. But there was no reason why it wouldn't. The bleeding had slowed and Clarke had packed the wound to try to minimise the bleeding. It appeared to working a little. Hopefully doing this would give her enough time to find out the damage that had been done and provide her mother with enough information to help her remove the bullet.

Clarke watched as Aden's blood began to travel into Lexa's body. She didn't know much about nightbloods but she guessed they all had the same blood. Maybe it was a bit like AB rhesus negative.

"Is it working?" Aden asked, as he looked as his Commander worriedly.

Clarke sighed, "We'll have to wait a few minutes. If it does work, well, Lexa won't be as pale and her heart beat will be steadier."

Aden nodded, "You love her, don't you?"

Clarke smiled and nodded, "Yes, I do."

"Good," Aden said, "I always worried about Heda, being alone. She always seemed so sad."

Clarke nodded, "She lost someone dear to her."

"You mean Costia," Aden said, with a heavy sigh, "Heda was so happy with Costia. I haven't seen her so happy until King Roan rescued you and brought you back to her."

Clarke sighed, not wishing to telling the boy the real truth and ruin what was likely a wonderful romantic tale that the nightbloods had made up to entertain themselves.

"I can tell that she loves you too," Aden told her, "If it was anyone else she wouldn't have made us swear to protect their clan. If it was Ice Nation… Our Heda made a lot of changes to protect you."

Clarke smiled, looking down at Lexa, who at least looked free of pain, "I know. I put her under a lot of pressure."

"No," Aden said, looking up at Clarke with piercing eyes, "A Heda always takes responsibility for her own actions. A Heda does not try to pass the blame to someone else. If Heda chose that 'Blood must not have Blood' that's because it's the right decision."

Clarke smiled at the boy, she admired his devotion to Lexa. She knew all of the nightbloods saw Lexa as an older sister but out of all of them Aden was most like a brother to Lexa. She'd seen Lexa take particular care with him. When Aden got injured, it was Lexa who bandaged his wounds, not some nameless medic. It was normal for Aden to get invited to Lexa's rooms a good three or so times a week for extra leadership training and the boy often joined Clarke and Lexa for dinner. Aden and Lexa shared the same love of books and there had been a good number of times when Clarke had been left dumbstruck watching the two of them debate the details of particular novel which she had never heard of. Aden and the nightbloods brought out a different side to Lexa- a motherly/ sisterly protective side which made Clarke wonder what Lexa's life would have been like if she'd grown up in Trikru lands.

"I wonder who will train us," Aden pondered, "Heda looks really sick, and I asked Titus when he said she was injured. He said he would be leaving soon. Is that true?"

Clarke sighed, she knew it wouldn't be easy to tell them, but they needed to hear it. The nightbloods, despite being children, had not grown up with innocence. They had grown up from toddler-hood with the knowledge that they and their playmates would someday be embroiled in a bloody battle to the death. It made their hearts harder. They could handle the betrayal.

"It was Titus," Clarke told him, "Titus shot Lexa. By accident- he meant to shoot me instead."

Aden frowned, "Why? Titus was her most trusted adviser. He's been with her since she first arrived in Polis. It's common knowledge that our Heda was his favourite right from the beginning- he even used to buy her presents for the solstices!"

"It was my fault," Clarke said, tears forming in her eyes as she looked at Lexa again. Arkadia had caused Lexa so much pain- they had burnt three hundred of her warriors alive, killed her army, even the injured. Lexa had forgiven them, changed a century's worth of traditions, and still Pike was a threat. And now, now she was fighting for her life, all because Titus knew the truth. He knew that Lexa's judgements would always be clouded by her love for Clarke. By no means had Titus done the right thing, but Clarke couldn't help feeling that she deserved that bullet. She deserved to be the one in pain. Not Lexa.

"It was his fault," Aden said, "He was the one who shot her. You shouldn't blame yourself, Clarke of the Ski-people."

Clarke smiled, wiping away her tears, "Thank you, Aden."

The boy smiled, "You know. Costia wasn't really a fighter- yeah, she could fight, but not as well as Lexa, not even as well as most generals. Heda always worried about her. But you, Clarke, you're Wanheda. The Commander of Death. And Heda told us you even tried to poison Queen Nia once, and nearly did, which means you're really strong and brave. If you survived being caught by Queen Nia, well, it means Heda has less to worry about. And being Wanheda, well Heda probably hasn't told you all our legends… but it's a big deal. It's like being an honorary nightblida. And if.. if Heda's not going to be able to train us for a while and Titus is leaving… Then I speak for my nightblood brother and sisters when I say I'd be more than grateful if you'd consider training us."

Clarke grinned, tears spilling from her eyes. Honorary nightblida… she'd never thought of herself as anything like that. But looking back, of course, from the nightbloods' perspective, she was Lexa's equal. She was the commander of her own people, Skikru, and of death too, Wanheda. And Lexa, Lexa had told them about her and Queen Nia. Had been bragging about her to the nightbloods? No wonder they turned to her instead of Indra or one of the other generals.

"I would love to," Clarke began, "But I don't know your ways. I don't know sword fighting or staff fighting. I don't know the oaths of the nightbloods, or the sort of diplomatic and leadership training Lexa was doing with you."

"Ok," Aden said, "We can go through the exercises Heda taught us for our drills. And well, you should learn a bit of sword fighting too. Because I know Skikru has guns, but they're not… they're not proper weapons, proper weapons have to be mastered with years of dedication and discipline… guns are not clean. And we'll teach you our oaths, our moral codes, and you can help supervise our morning and evening pledges. And as for the diplomatic and leadership training, well, Heda always wanted us to learn more about Skikru. Maybe you could tell us about your life as a part of Skikru. I've always wanted to know what it was like living in space."

Clarke nodded, "Ok, I think it could work then. But I need to help Lexa first, so no training for the next couple of days."

Aden shook his head, "I'm the eldest, I'll supervise until Heda is well enough to be left for a few hours. We pledged to train every day, no matter what."

Clarke smiled, "Ok, but any problems and you come to me immediately."

Aden nodded, looking at the tube connecting his arm to Lexa's, "Is she getting better now?"

Clarke placed a delicate hand on Lexa's neck, "Her pulse is much stronger. She should be fine for now. But she might need a bit more blood later. The bleeding from her wound has pretty much stopped. My mom will be here tomorrow to remove the bullet. It's just infection that I'm worried about."

Aden looked at his commander contemplatively, before his eyes lit up with a spark like one of Lexa's many candles, "Titus had a book of herbal teas. Whenever Heda was injured he'd always make one to help healing. To stop inflammation and fever. I guess I could find the book. You know herbs, don't you?"

Clarke nodded, it had been one of the things they'd covered in Earth Studies on the Arc. They had been sent to Earth with basic medical supplies, but they had soon begun to run out. With her mother's guidance she'd started to use herbs to treat the more basic illnesses and injuries and conserve supplies.

Clarke carefully removed the needles from Lexa and Aden's arm and Aden jumped up in a way that made Clarke feel panicky. The boy must have easily donated a pint and a half of blood, far more than Clarke was comfortable with, and yet he still looked like he was ready for an afternoon's training. Maybe it was nightblood blood, Clarke thought, before realising the explanation was much simpler. Nightbloods were always getting injured, always suffering blood loss. Losing a pint or so of blood was nothing to them.

"Thank you, Aden," Clarke said and the boy gave her a little smile.

"It's nothing," Aden said before racing off.

Clarke looked at Lexa. Yes, she looked much healthier now. She was warmer, not sickeningly so. There was a little colour in her face. Her pulse was strong. Clarke sighed deeply, she knew she needed to check the wound. The bleeding had almost stopped, and it had been a while since she'd packed and put pressure on the wound. Clarke carefully removed each of the bandages, all of them sodden with black blood. Soon the wound was visible and Clarke took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She was not scared of blood, but the wound was still horrific. The bullet had torn through fat and muscle but fortunately had missed any vital arteries and organs. Clarke couldn't see the bullet, and she knew she'd have to keep Lexa very still, to avoid it moving and causing any further damage. Clarke began to pack the wound again, just as the bleeding began to increase with the lack of pressure. Everything and nothing, Clarke thought to herself, there had been no serious damage to Lexa's stomach or intestines or aorta but still she couldn't see the bullet, and there was no exit wound. And there had been heavy bleeding. Something wasn't right.

Clarke sighed, she'd just have to wait until her Mom arrived. Lexa was strong, she was a survivor. She was reminded of the time when they'd been running from the Paunua and Lexa jumped, dislocating her shoulder badly. Clarke had been nervous about putting it back into place without any pain meds, but Lexa had told her to just get on with it. It hadn't been the first time, Lexa told her, nor would it be the last. Clarke admired Lexa's strength but she knew it had come at the cost of being in near constant pain throughout her childhood.

Clarke watched as Lexa frowned a little but she couldn't tell if the girl was dreaming or waking up. The conversation with Aden had sent her mind reeling with questions. What was a nightblood's childhood like? Were there any moments where they could just be kids? She felt her eyes blur with tears thinking about everything Lexa missed out on. Lexa had certainly suffered a lot.

BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK

Nightbloods weren't supposed to bring anything with them to Polis when they started their training. Everything would be provided for them, their parents were told. They were to leave their old lives behind. But toddler Leksa didn't know anything of this, and she fretted wondering when she would see her parents again, what clothes she would wear, what would happen to her toys. One toy, a little stuffed cat, she had taken with her, hidden in the folds of her cloak and she took particular care with it, because something, something which she couldn't yet explain in words had told her that Anya wouldn't let her keep it if she found out.

"Leksa!" she heard a voice yell, and the little girl jumped up from her bed, placing Sooty carefully under her mattress and darting across her room and into the main room where her mentor, Anya, was gathering together several weapons.

"Yes, my lady," Leksa replied, trying to hide the guilt from her face.

"It's training time," Anya told her. Leksa grinned excitedly. The lessons in leadership and diplomacy were interesting, but they couldn't hold a toddler's attention for long. They were meant more for the older students. Leksa was the youngest of the nightblidas. The closest to her in age was Luna, who was four. Luna had an older brother, but Leksa hadn't spoken to him much in the week or so she'd been there.

"Will Luna be there?" Leksa asked excitedly, before looking away in fear, "I'm so sorry, my lady! I forgot to only speak when spoken to."

Anya grinned a little, looking at the little girl who stared at her boots miserably, expecting to be punished, "Make it up to me during training, Leksa."

The little girl nodded, before walking alongside her mentor to the training room. The summer training room was outdoors and a mile or so from the Polis tower. Leksa loved being outdoors, it reminded her of Trikru lands and the long summer days when she'd race her cousins in the fields, or help with feeding the goats or collecting chicken's eggs. She was homesick, although she didn't know there was a word for it, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by her mentor, Anya. Leksa knew better than to talk to her about it, however. Hedas had to be strong. Love is weakness, she had been taught, Hedas must be alone.

Leksa stayed by Anya's side as they entered the training ground, although every part of her wanted to race towards Luna. Especially as the older girl was stupidly standing with her back away from her, and Leksa wanted to prove herself to Anya by landing a decent surprise attack to make up for her lack of manners earlier.

"Hello, Mr Flamekeeper," Leksa said as Anya stopped to speak to Titus. Leksa noticed one of generals- Indra- rolling her eyes at the young girl.

Titus smiled a little, before passing her a wooden sword. It had only been a week but already Leksa was in love with sword fighting. It felt absolutely natural to her.

"Thank you," Leksa replied before Anya nodded for her to join Luna.

The older girl smiled as she saw Leksa race towards her. With her scrawny looks, characteristic of Trikru, Leksa knew she looked somewhat comical. But still Luna had to respect her, Leksa rarely if ever spoke out of turn, she'd avoided many of the mistakes new nightblidas made. She was respectful and loyal. And there was something else too, Leksa was just… regal. It was in the way she stood, always making eye contact, the way she didn't let Indra's opinions bother her. She looked like a Heda should. And of course, that made Luna jealous. Very jealous. But Leksa wasn't aware of that at the time, nor would she have cared much anyway. If it weren't for what happened next…

"Hello, Luna," Leksa said, swinging her sword back and forth in her hand, "How's your training going?"

Luna shrugged, "Better." It was no great secret that she was struggling with the physical aspects of her training, but her mentor pushed her hard and the word failure wasn't in Luna's vocabulary. She was no natural fighter like Leksa, but she would work hard to make it to the same level as the best nightblidas. No matter how long that took.

"Good," Leksa said, "Do you want to spar today?"

Luna nodded, but there was still a little sullenness on her face.

"Ok," Leksa began, throwing off her cloak, before noticing the look on her friend's face, "Luna, what's wrong?"

Luna sighed, "I just miss home."

"Me too," Leksa admitted with a heavy sigh, "But I still have Sooty."

"Sooty?" Luna asked with a frown, "Who's sooty?"

"My cat," Leksa told her proudly, "Mommy made him for me when I was a baby."

Luna smiled.

"You could borrow him," Leksa suggested, "If you want. I could sneak him to you tomorrow, Anya's got a meeting tomorrow and Titus won't tell if he notices."

Luna smiled, nodding, "Thank you, Leksa."

The little girl smiled, glad to be able to help her friend.

BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK

When Leksa returned to her room. She expected to get shouted at. Anya had left early from training, needing to report to the Heda but Leksa had stayed on, promising to return as soon as night fell. However, it was a good two hours after nightfall, and she had long missed dinner. She was scared now, she knew Anya had a quick temper. But it had been worth it. She'd finally gotten some of the older nightblidas to fight her. In fact, the eldest of the lot had agreed and she'd been ecstatic, even though she knew he was probably only doing it for a laugh. Still, he had underestimated her, and he had paid for it. Leksa would be covered in cuts and bruises the next day, but she had managed to trip the older and much stronger boy and he'd suffered a nasty limp.

"I'm so sorry, my lady," Leksa yelled, rushing into the apartment.

Anya stood before her with a disappointed and angry look on her face and Leksa could feel herself begin to tremble. She didn't dare meet her mentor's eyes.

"Leksa," Anya said, in an authoritive tone, "What is this?"

Leksa looked up, noticing her toy cat in Anya's hand. She let out a nervous sigh. No, no, no… this was far worse than missing dinner.

"Sooty," Leksa said as loudly as she could managed without letting tears fall or the her voice break.

"What did I teach you, Leksa?" Anya asked.

"Love is weakness," Leksa said, "We must be proud of our nightblood. We live to serve the twelve clans. We must abandon ourselves to our training completely. We… we… we must leave our past lives behind. Please… please, Anya… not Sooty."

Anya sighed before crouching to the little girl's level, "A Heda does not beg. A Heda does what is right by her people, she serves them first. Leksa, I need you to hear this. Most other mentors wait, but I don't think it will help you. Leksa, you are not going back home, your home is here, your parents will not see you again, nor do they want to. This is not because they don't love you, but for your own good. Holding onto the past will only hold you back. And being held back here means death. Being homesick means death. Love is weakness. Do you understand?"

Leksa nodded, "Love is weakness."

Anya nodded, "Yes, it is."

"I need to get rid of Sooty," Leksa told her, "So I can be a strong Heda."

Anya sighed and Leksa saw her mentor look away for the briefest of moments. Training to maintain her composure.

Anya passed the soft toy cat to Leksa, who hugged it tightly once before letting out a loud sigh. Leksa walked towards the fire and placing the soft toy cat into the flames.

Anya stared on, trying not to let Leksa hear the surprised gasp that she'd taken. Never had she expected a girl of Leksa's age to take this all so easily. Luna had smuggled in toys too, and it had taken Titus and her mentor several days to get her to give them up.

"Goodbye, Sooty," Leksa said, staring into the flames, "Yu gonplei ste odon."

Leksa remained for a few moments more, watching as Sooty disappeared into the flames. Her childhood and her past life as Leksa kom Trikru disappearing with him. In the years that followed, looking at a flame would always remind her of her past and her parents. Perhaps that was why she like candles so much, because they reminded of her of the carefree life she could have had if she hadn't been born a nightblood.