A/N: So I was on the bus listening to the sound of ten thousand whiny kids screaming when I thought of this. Enjoy. And, as I'm pretty sure you can guess, I don't like Amber much. : )
Disclaimer: Hmmm…I actually believe that the relationship between me and the ownership of House, M.D. is a negative one. Strange, very strange.
If Gregory House Created the World…
1. …Women with cleavage would all wear low-cut tops.
2. …There would be lackeys to do everything for you.
3. …Pharmacies would give out pills for free.
4. …Scratch that—pharmacies would hand deliver pills, using hooker delivery-women.
5. …The delivery women are allowed to stay awhile.
6. …He would've made Wilson do it, in which case the world would've been finished only after a great deal of stress and hurt feelings.
7. …Barbie dolls wouldn't come with clothes.
8. …It would be illegal to enter a clinic if you were sniffling/coughing.
9. …Holidays would be forbidden.
10. …It would always be Lupus, just to make everything easier.
If Allison Cameron Created the World...1. …People wouldn't ever suffer.
2. …House would like her.
3. …Chase would confess that he was over her.
4. …House would visit his patients every once in a while.
5. …Amber would die.
6. …Puppies would come conveniently already covered in sugar.
7. …She'd have to ability to heal her late husband.
8. …She could protect House.
9. …Drunkies would only enter the E.R. from the hours of 9:00 am to 3:00 pm.
10. …Pop songs would have better wisdom.
If Robert Chase Created the World...1. …Everyone would know the difference between an Australian accent and a British accent.
2. …Cameron would be in love with him.
3. …Better yet, Cameron and Thirteen would be in love with him.
4. …He was still a duckling.
5. …Taub wouldn't be a kiss-ass.
6. …House wouldn't have been shot—Guns would be illegal.
7. …Fathers would take care of mothers.
8. …Slash fics wouldn't pick on poor innocent Aussies.
9. …House would grow up. Just a little.
10. …Two words—paid vacations.
If Eric Foreman Created the World...1. …Neurology would be readily accepted.
2. …Nurses would make really amazing girlfriends.
3. …Cameron would just stop with House.
4. …Employee history would be off-limits to anyone but the highest officials.
5. …House would grow up. A lot!
6. …And, well…there's not much else, really. The world was made this way for a reason.
If James Wilson Created the World...1. …House would be ordered to pay for his own lunch.
2. …Vicodin wouldn't be addictive.
3. …Vicodin wouldn't cause liver problems.
4. …Tritter would die.
5. …Not just die, but die a horrible, painful death where he couldn't escape because his car was taken away. And his credit cards are suspended.
6. …Three words—Cure for cancer.
7. …Mark would die.
8. …House would back off (of Amber).
9. …Couches would be much more comfy.
10. …Doctors would never get sick.
If Cutthroat Bitch Created the World...1. …Who are we kidding? She'd give herself a bone-marrow biopsy before giving others a chance at life!