THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER. IT MEANS A LOT. THIS ONE IS A LONG ONE AND YOU GET TO SEE HER KIND OF START GROWING USE TO HER FAMILY.
THE NEXT DAY
"How do you listen to that? " Dad sat next to me after letting him listen to the death metal music I liked.
"My ears pick up sound waves, it tends to do that often. " Dad looked at me and shook his head.
"You my dear are just like your Aunt Lisa. Sarcastic and just plain mean. "He chuckled next to me. I looked up at him and shook my head. Who knew after all these years my father would be someone so cool and relaxed. I was told he was uptight and just a dick.
"So, one of the boys said you right jingles for commercials? " He quirked an eyebrow and nodded
"Yeah, I just always loved writing catchy tunes and I found something I really liked, so I made it a job. "
"Melody Carson! "The nurse called I stood up and dad looked over at me.
"Do you need me in there? "
"Nah, I think I'm good. Hang tight. "I walked into the doctor's room and sat on the doctor's table thing for patients.
"Hello Melody, I'm doctor Cullen. I see we are here for a check up. "Dr. Cullen said walking in.
"Yeah, unfortunately. " He looked up from his clipboard and looked at me.
"Okay, I see I have to check your weight and you need to pee in this. "He handed me a small cup and pointed to the bathroom. I slowly got up and did my magic.
LATER
"Okay Melody, now let me see your scars. " Dr. Cullen and I had been talking for the last hour. He was a nice guy with the coldest hands possible. I removed my black hoodie and began to unwrap my bandages from around my elbow.
"How long were you injecting yourself? " He asked grabbing some alcohol and a cotton ball.
"2 years. "He looked up at me shocked.
"Wow, how long have you been clean for? "
"2 weeks. " I chuckled shaking my head.
"Withdrawal is not easy especially with all that you did. And reading your stats, your body couldn't handle it anymore so it stopped taking it. Have you felt any weird sudden mood changes? "
"Yeah, I start getting aggravated, wanting to throw things, hysterical crying at times. There are times where I get light headed and I just drop to the floor. I could feel my heart pumping faster and faster but I'm too tired to do anything. I just lay there like a fish. And I sweat a lot randomly. At night I get these hot flashes. They got so bad I ran outside and lay on the wet floor so it can cool me down. "
"Those are definitely withdraw symptoms. You are also on medication for anxiety and depression? "
"Yupp. "
"I want to tell you that you are underweight, for your height. "
"How much do I weigh? " I asked
"91 pounds, that's very light for a 5'0. Gain 10 pounds and you will be in your weight range. . "
"Okay. I have to give you some shots. Are you sexually active? "I stiffened up as he said that.
"If you're scared about your father finding out, I won't tell. "His eyes told me he wasn't lying to me.
"It was only 3 times and it was over 5 months ago. " I looked away ashamed of it. It's one of things I regret.
"You seem extremely upset about that. "He prepared the needles next to me watching my every move.
"Who wouldn't? I mean it was sudden and not with someone I actually cared about. "I looked down at my arm and watched the needle break my skin.
"You know for someone who has been through hell and is still going through it, your one smart girl. My wife was a psychiatrist and she never had people my age even admit their wrong doings. "
I let out a soft chuckle.
"I'm a dumb girl, because if I was smart, I wouldn't have done those things and ruin myself and everybody in my life. "
He had some look of amusement on his face.
"Melody, you are one of a kind. And I will stand by what I said and say you are a smart girl. I will see you in 2 weeks for a follow up. "I stood up from the bed and walked out.
"Finally you are out, I was going to go inside and get you out of there. "
"No, thanks for waiting though. " I felt liked I was being watched by everyone.
"No problem, you want to go get something to eat kiddo? "
"I'm not that hungry but we can go if you want. said I was underweight so why not. "
"I can tell your underweight. But I won't force you to eat since you might throw it up. "
I remained quiet and just walked with dad to where ever he was taking me. What doctor Cullen asked made the memories come back.
"You're so hot Melody, god if you were my girl I would made you scream all night. " Cody licked his lips as his arm blocked my side view. He stood in front of me closely talking to me for an hour. We were at a friend's house party that night. I was completely high and drinking like crazy.
"Cody, shut up dude. " I laughed hysterically. And drank from the red plastic cup Cody had given me. My third one. My head began to feel heavy. I dropped the cup spilling the drink and rubbed my eyes roughly.
"Melody, you okay? "He asked. I looked up and saw him smirking but trying to show some concern
"Yeah, im just starting to feel really tired and dizzy. "My knees gave up and Cody wrapped his nasty hands around my waist.
"Come on Melody, you need to lay you down. "
"Melody? " Dad shook my shoulders violently. I took a deep breath and looked around. We were in the middle of a cross walk. Cars beeping were going crazy. Dad was worried so he just picked me up easily and carried me off the street. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes immediately; my throat dry up .Dad sat me down on a bench and rubbed my shoulders.
"Melody sweetie, please tell me what's wrong. What happened? "
I looked up at him and sneered.
"Don't fuckin touch me! " I started running away from him. I had to leave. To get away from all this. Why I was still haunted from all those horrible memories.
I ran down the street, down the block, heck I ran down the whole town until I made it to a stop point.
"Welcome to La Push. "The sign was big and brown.
"La Push, Indian reservation. " I remember Angela telling me about it. I looked back and the road was clear. I continued running until I made it to town/ I held my black goodie tightly around me trying to warm up. My gray skinny jeans didn't help the cause. Luckily I was wearing my new black rain boots which kept my feet warm. La Push was like something I didn't think it was. The streets were normal, just covered with some dirt. On the sides of the road little shops or small house, I couldn't tell the difference.
My mind wandered off back to the night where my innocence was stolen from me. 3 bad drinks had me pinned down to a bed with a boy I thought I loved over me having his way Rain began to sprinkle again taking me away form my thoughts.. I looked around and tried to pick out a place to keep warm and dry at. A big theater like building had its door open. Since it seemed like the safest and warmest place I knew I had nothing to hide.
Entering the dark building I already witness a violinist playing on stage. The red curtain contrasting with the brought light and the black décor. Looking around 2 judges sat in front watching intently and 8 other people just sitting in the crowd minding their own business.
I walked into an empty isle and sat my butt down. The violinist was in the middle of an original song. My eyes watched with amazement the talent the boy had. The memories flashed back.
"Oh, yeah I, tell you something, I think you'll understand… "I sang quietly .knowing I missed a low pitch.
"Good Melody, but don't try to hard. Your vocals are still developing so we don't want to hurt them. "My mother's long brown hair flowed down her shoulders perfectly. I looked up at her from my seat next her on the piano bench. And only dreamed about being liker her when I grew up.
"Momma, I want to be able to play like you. " She looked down at me and kissed my forehead.
"One day you will, with all the classes I have you signed up I bet you will be better. " I smiled a toothless grin. I opened my mouth to say something but a knock of the door made momma get up in excitement and forget about me once again.
"Charles! "Momma hugged the blonde man for dear life. This was the beginning of the end.
"You are dazed aren't you? " I turned and looked up at a tall Indian girl. Her hair cropped shirt, right above her shoulders. She dressed in a pair of cutoffs and a loose raggedy grey thermal.
"No, sorry I was thinking. " I ignored the chick and turned my attention back at the violinist who was playing the ongoing song.
"Thinking, finally someone who does. " She walked past me and sat 2 seats away from me. Leaving an empty seat between us.
"Aren't you cold? " I looked over her legs, not only was her wearing cutoffs but sandals.
"Nah, you get kind of use to the weather here. "She smirked looking at the violist with me.
"You're not from here aren't you? "
"No, I live in Forks. " I kept my eyes on the boy until he removed his bow form the violin and took a breather before breaking into a smile and turning to the judges. A small hint of joy broke out of me.
"Forks, you new? "
"Yeah, I live right outside of Forks. " I looked back at the girl.
"Bitchin, I'm Leah by the way. Leah Clearwater. "
"Melody, Melody Carson, "she nodded her head.
A young girl took the stage with a guitar.
"I will sing wires by Athlete. " She announced before beginning to play.
"Have you ever played? " I looked at Leah; her face was glued to mine.
"Yeah, I took lessons from age 4 to 7. " She arched a brow and smirked
"That's cool, you should sign up. "
"For what?" I sneered. Her soft chuckle covered up the little girl's voice.
"You got some weird thing about you Melody, I like it. But I meant you should sign up for the sing-a-thon. It's like some concert for artist near here. Anyone can sign up. "
"No thanks, I rather watch then be put up there for everyone to see. "
She kept quiet for the next few minutes before we both cringed and cursed under our breaths when a girl walked up and decided to sing a very degrading pop song. Leah and I looked over at each other and somehow looking at Leah I felt like I she was a sister I never had. She smiled at me and I returned it before we both began laughing hysterically like two cooks in the back of the theater.
2 hours later.
"Wow! " Leah looked down at me shaking her head in disapproval.
"Yeah, it's not really normal for someone like me but it does happen to people. " Leah and I had talked about everything. In the last 2 hours I had made a best friend. Someone just like me who had problems and no one to talk to.
"And I thought I had it bad. " I laughed quietly before nudging her.
"It's not that bad, I think we all have things we have to overcome. "
"You overcame a lot, yet you seems so cool and collected. " Leah eyed me up and down.
"You tend to mellow out a bit when on medication. "
"Does your dad know you're here? "
I shook my head and looked outside
"I ran here and came inside, I should probably get going home. "
"Let me take you home, I can borrow my mom's car. " Without a hesitation Leah stood up and ran out to the front.
Leah had told me about her life. From the moment she had he r first kiss, lost her virginity and lost the love of her life to her cousin. Who now is engaged and lives in La Push, not that far away from her own family house. That's not the only bad part; she works with her ex everyday for some business. I was lucky enough to know where and when Ex boyfriends would pop up at a party. Plus it helped that I was high all the time. I just didn't give a fuck. I decided to just ditch Leah and just walk home. I was not going to be a burden on anyone anymore.
I had walked about half a mile when a dark brown car pulled up.
"Get in Melody, I'm taking your ass home. " Leah smirked at me before giving me a scowl. I didn't want to mess with Leah. The girl was tall and looked like she can kick my ass easily.
"You know I've lived here all my life and I have never talked to someone like you."
"Same here, it's weird though. I was always alone. I did have friends but they weren't the type of friend s to even care about my feelings or my problems. "
"Well Melody, I guess you can say we are two peas in a pod. "
"God that was cheesy. "
"And incredibly stupid. " Leah stopped at a red light and looked over at me. Her eyes smiled and sooner or later we both burst into laughs.
All the way home Leah and I bitched about everything and laughed through it.
"God our lives suck! "She looked around the neighborhoods laughing.
"So which house is yours? "
"That one! " I pointed the bog white house with the big front yard.
"Okay. " Leah drove up the drive and let me out.
"We should hang out sometime. " I called out. Leah looked back and nodded.
"You'll sees me soon, trust me. . . "Leah smirked with a nodded
"I'll probably stop by the theater sometime later "I felt myself blush at even thinking about performing again. Those wants and dreams were with my mother. But she gave up on me and those dreams. Leah drove away. I knew walking in I would be yelled out. I would be slapped and thrown up against the wall like mother ruse to do. But I deserved it. I no longer cringed when I opened the door.
"Melody, Melody is that you? " I shut the door behind me when dad appeared in front of me. I closed my eyes waiting for the hit but it never came. Instead he wrapped his arms around me kissing my head.
"Melody, god I was worried about you. Where did you go! "He asked yelling at me. But it wasn't a regular angry yelled but a scared and relived one that I had no idea could actually make me feel safe.
"Worried? " I could just see my face now. Filled with confusion. I looked down at my boots and then at him.
"Yes, Melody, are you at least safe, who brought you home? "
"I went to Lapush, I met Leah Clearwater and she brought me home. "Dad let out a sigh of relief.
"Please don't ever do that again Melody. I was worried sick. "I nodded my head softly.
"Sorry, I should have called you. It was a sudden burst of energy. Won't happen again. "
He shook my shoulder and gave me a sad smile.
"Melody, do you want to talk to me about what happened? "
"No, please don't make me. " I pleaded.
"I understand, but please don't let it eat you up inside. " I walked away form him and ran up the stairs and into my room. Dad had bought me everything a girl could ask for. Aunt Lisa went with us. She was there mostly for the shopping. Aunt Lisa went crazy with buying clothes, she made sure my cart was full and I had everything I needed. My room was still filled with bags and bags of shopping bags, posters, shoe boxes, more furniture, and books that I thought were interesting. I removed my black hoodie and threw it on my bed. Even in my black tank I could feel the warmth of the fireplace downstairs. I grabbed the books and decided to place those in the bookcase dad had built for me. Posters were taped up. Janis Joplin, Elvis, The Beatles, James Dean, Sinatra, Blink 182 and more hardcore bands filled up my walls. I bought thousands of candles for my room. Each a soothing smells. My clothes were placed in my closet neatly, below my hanging clothes my shoes remained in their boxes piled up. I looked around my room finally and was able to see the hardwood floor. Looking outside, the dark blue sky shined against the sunset. I watched Sean swing on the swings and laugh to himself. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.
"Melody? " I turned back and looked at my cousin Angela.
"I was wondering if you wanted to see the animals in the barn before it gets to dark. . . "
"Sure. " I walked beside Angela quietly.
NIGHT
After dinner I got to know my cousins more and more. Sean was a sweetheart who had no attention to hurt anybody. Stanley was like the little leader. He knew what he wanted and he would do whatever was possible to get it. Even if it meant causing trouble. Brian was the quiet, mellow one. He was a nice kid but he never showed it. Angela was like little mom. She was responsible and smart. But she had her moments where a curse word would escape her lips. Aunt Lisa was a firecracker. She did not care what people said or thought about her. She was very blunt but funny, she was also the most loving mother ever. And then there was dear old dad, he was too kind for his own good. He was a nerd but a fun loving one who knew to have fun. Always put other s first before himself. Possibly the sweetest man I have ever known. I lay in my bed and watched the candle's fire flicker the shadows on my wall. My whole day was boring and no amazing progress was made. I rolled off to my side and looked out the window. I left the curtains open to look at the moon, so bright and beautiful. Forks was different then Portland Oregon, I actually felt safe here and I knew I had no worries. Slowly my eyelids felt heavy and soon I was falling asleep.
"Cody? "My head was spinning like crazy. My body felt numb and I knew I was laying down somewhere.
"Melody baby. " I felt Cody's lips kiss my neck softly.
"Cody, stop please not now. " I tried to push my arms up but they felt too heavy for me.
"I thought you wanted me? "He asked. His hands traveled down my body.
"Cody I do, but a relationship. I love you. "I was passing out.
"Relax beautiful, I'll take care of you. "He kissed my lips one last time before I blacked out.
I sat up immediately. My body drenched in sweat. I removed the black thermal form my body and threw it on the floor. My heart was racing like crazy and my head felt light. And boy was it hot in my room. I got up and fell from my knees. My body hurt like a bitch. I felt like throwing up my lungs.
"Dad! " I crawled on the floor until I collapsed in the middle of my room.
"Melody? " Dad walked in and saw me on the floor.
"Open the window! " I yelled feeling my body burn. I felt the vomit come up my throat. Dad grabbed the bucket and handed it to me before running to window and throwing it open. As soon as the cold air hit my burning skin the vomit escaped my mouth and hit the dark blue bucket. My body arched with the gag reflexes. Dad sat next to me pulling my hair back and rubbing my back.
"That's it kiddo, get rid of all those toxins you have in your body. " The next few minutes were filled with my vomiting. As soon as I stopped the sun was out and shining bright.
"You okay? " Dad asked. I sat up, my body cooling down. I tried to lift my hand but it trembled like crazy. I began to sob hysterically. Dad pulled me into his arms.
"Why did I have to do this to myself! "
"We'll get through it baby girl. Don't you worry?"
After my little breakdown dad made me go shower before the house would be filled with some workers dad hired to help refurnish the barn. My black hair was set up in a high pony tail and my side bangs pinned back. I wore a blue and white stripped tank top and dark blue skinny jeans. I put on my black rain boots and walked downstairs.
"Dad? " Dad was sitting in the living room drinking his coffee and reading the paper.
"Melody. Are you feeling better? "I nodded my head softly
"Just a bit shaken up. Nauseated, my head and body hurts. "
"Yeah, said those were the signs or your withdrawal. He also told me that it's better if you don't fight it so your body can get use to it. "
"So, I made breakfast. I was waiting for you. "
"What did you make? " I asked
He smirked
"Chocolate chip pancakes. "He grinned. I felt my smile grow.
"How did you know I liked them? " I smirked
"Well, when you were little I use to make them for you all the time. Well come on, let's go eat. "I smiled at my father. Possibly the strongest person I know.
LATER
After breakfast I brushed my teeth and ran upstairs for a sweater and a book. I found a blue v-neck cardigan and put it on before running outside with a copy of to kill a mockingbird. I had read the book many times but I loved it.
"Dad I'm going outside! " I ran outside, the sun beating on my skin just perfect for a day outside. As I walked outside I saw my tree. A big child book tree. Its trunk think and brown and the top with so many branches with green leaves. Perfect for climbing. I walked up and placed the book in my mouth before holding onto a branch and pulling myself up and up higher in the tree.
J.P.O.V
"And if you can fix the barn door, I had a little run in with a trunk the other month. " Dean was a smart man. One of dad's closest friends. When Dean called and asked us for help refurnishing his barn we couldn't say no. The man built Lapush a theater and donated instruments for the kids. He wiped his glasses cleaned and then looked at his watch.
"Oh I'm late; well my house is your house. Help yourself to anything. "With that Dean ran out the living room and out the front door.
"I'm raiding the kitchen! " Quill ran off and I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I'm going to go look around. " Leah said immediately running upstairs.
"Why did we bring them? " Paul looked over at Sam who chuckled.
"Let go out back. " I grabbed Embry who was about to run off with Quill.
"We have worked to do man. " Embry growled softly before we walked out. Dean was one of the wealthiest men around here. He never gloated though. Always donated and loved to have people around. He was a nice determined guy who never let anything bring him down. Not even a stupid girl. Bella was an idiot for marrying Edward. I could have given her the life she wanted, not some filthy blood sucker.
"Hey guys wait up! " Quill ran up behind us eating some pancakes.
"Okay, Jake Embry and Quill, you guys get started on that door; the rest of us will get the animal out. Seth, go close the gates just in case they run out! "Sam walked inside the barn and released the dogs first before he let go of the pigs and then the rest of the many animals Dean had.
"Okay, what do we do first Jake my man? " Embry asked
"Let's replace the doors completely. They look like they are about to brake off." I ripped off the doors and handed one to Embry, then the other to Quill.
"Hey doe s this hurt? " Quill grabbed a door and smacked Embry with it.
"Oww, wait does this hurt! "Embry and Quill began to fight my patience was running on end.
"Stop you idiots! " I grabbed the doors and looked around for a place to put them. I didn't want them near a couple of lazy idiots. I walked over to the nearest tree and sat them along the trunk. When I did a boot fell on my head.
"Fuck! " I looked up and a small blur quickly climbed down the tree. SHe was the smallest thing I have ever seen. But she was beautiful though. Her beautiful round face flawless. Adorable cheeks with a dimple. Small red plump lips just begging to be kissed. Black hair that contrasted with her abnormal white skin. And the biggest unusual grey eyes that could haunt any soul. She was beautiful. And she was all that my mind could register. No more anybody else. Just this little person. This little angry person held me together. Fuck the rest. She was it. My soul mate, my imprint, my love. My soul mate/
"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here! "
She ripped the boot away form my hand and placed it back on her foot.
Her voice was loud, well yeah. But it was soothing somehow. It had a strong and it seemed like she knew what she wanted. A female Alpha of some sort.
"Are you just acting like a dumbass or are you just actually one? "She sneered
"I'm Jacob. " I let my hand out and she let out an annoyed laugh.
"And I don't give a shit! "She walked passed me pushing my shoulder and walking toward she barn. And there she was stubborn as hell. Gosh I love her.
Okay, here so yeah Melody acts like a bitch but can you blame her?
The title of the chapter is Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park.