Meeting #1: In which Alabama gets things started.

America didn't really plan for the states to meet the nations. But it had to happen eventually.

Besides, he told Josh to get him the Economic report for Alabama as soon as possible, so it was really his own instructions coming to bite him in the ass.

He had been in the middle of an epic presentation of how if the nations just helped him, that global warming could be reversed if they built a giant robot savior that would shade the earth, allowing modern industry to continue.

Needless to say, no one was going for it.

"That's the stupidest thing I've heard," England said bluntly from his seat. "Bloody hell, America. I raised you better than that, surely." Oh yeah, Iggy. Bring up the fact that you raised me. America thought. That's not a cheap shot at all. Damn sexy English bastard. Maybe I should take Cali's advice and just turn my entire nation green. But the industry kids would kill me...

"Hmmm...If England is dissing America, how can I be more magnifique by insulting zem both?"

"WINE BASTARD!"

"Western nations are so immature! Perhaps I can distract them...do you boys want some Chinese tasty treats?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME CHINA, NO!"

"Now, now. Lets all be nice to China, da?"

"Get off me Italy!"

"OI! Potato bastard! Stop fondling my brother!"

"Heh, heh. Lovi, Germany's not fondling..."

"Shut it!"

"Hey! Stop ignoring the awesome! Back me up Mattie!"

"EH?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm/HE'S CANADA!"

"KolKolKol..."

"Gyahh!"

"Everybody calm down!"

"Holy! No wonder ya'll never get anything done. It's like Penn and Ohio on steroids."

Eh? That last one didn't sound familiar. It was both a new voice and not pissed beyond measure. A new country? America turned and saw his 22nd oldest son and grinned, forgetting about the confused and formally warring nations. "Hey Josh! Looking good!"

"Josh" grinned lazily, reminiscent of a summer heat wave. "Sup Pop." He waved a thick folder in his left hand. "Got that report ya wanted. Sucked shit to write." America rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Talking to your dad who has to summarize all your reports and then present them, I don't think it's that big a deal." The kid raised his eyebrows. "Pardon my French, but touche, Pop. Touche." He slouched forwards and handed America the folder, still smiling easily. "Man, Pop. How do ya get things done like this? It may be even worse than our meeting."

"Penn/Ohio clash of '01."

"...Point."

"...America," England said slowly, eyes roving over the kid in confusion (along with everyone else), "...who is this?" America blinked and laughed, tossing his head back. "Ah, Iggy! Look at you! You look so funny!" America continued to laugh and Josh turned to focus on the nations. His smile widened to a grin, and the nations took in his appearance. A relaxed grin and posture, blue jeans, and white T shirt with the slogan: "Birmingham Barons, Est. 1885" and sneakers. He had sky blue eyes, and shaggy hair that was the exact same color as America's.

"Oh. You're England. Interestin'. Shoulda figured," He shrugged languidly, "you look exactly like Ginny." England blinked. "Eh?" He raised a hand. "Joshua Jones. Call me Alabama."

Dead silence. Alabama blinked at them. They blinked back. Then-

"WHAT?" England and the rest of the nations screamed. "ALABAMA? But-But you're a STATE!" Alabama and America raised an eyebrow in a scarily (to the nations) identical fashion. "So?" The nations whirled on America. "You're states are personified?" America shrugged, like he thought they already knew or it was common knowledge (he was actually just fudging with their heads) and said. "Uh... Yeah."

"SINCE WHEN?"

"...Since England came over and our first love child Virginia was born?"

"...WHAT?" Wow. That was a really high pitch.

"Wow. I didn't even think it was possible to reach that high of an octave and still be a man. Props."

"Gyah! You-I-He-! Uhghh..."

THUD.

"Oh crap! England!"

"...Well, that could've been worse."

"...Yeah. Later Pop. Have fun trying to revive England."

"Later."

Geez...if they react to Alabama like this...I wonder how they'll react to the territories...

A/N: Review?