Chapter 2

Ed's head was pounding as if his brain was beating against his skull with a violent force. Ed groaned very quietly, 'I see you cause you won't get out of my head, I hear you cause you won't stop screaming my name, I feel you cause won't stop touching my skin. I need you.(1)' Those words flew around in Ed's pounding head. Over and over again they repeated them selves, like a song stuck in his head, only he had never heard it before, and it was Mustang's voice singing those words.

Ed still hadn't opened his eyes but he was starting to take in his surroundings. He was lying on his back on something soft, that meant he wasn't lying on the street, 'Maybe I found a old mattress or something.' Ed thought. He was also somewhat warm (though still cold, thanks to his auto mail), thus coming to his senses meant in fact he was indoor. The scent that suddenly floated over him made him nauseous, 'Mustang's house…Roy…' Ed brought his flesh hand to his still shut eyes and rubbed his face before opening his eyes. Seeing a familiar white ceiling Ed closed his eyes tight then opened them again, he was in Roy's house. Ed sat up straight off the couch the blanket falling from his chest. He wasn't alone in the living room.

Roy Mustang was sitting in the chair across the room; he seemed to be sleeping. Ed stared at his former lover and felt tears on his cheeks at the sight; Roy Mustang was pale, absolutely wan, sickly looking. His hair was messy and yet clean, dark circles under his eyes, and was he shaking? Ed ran that all though his mind. 'He must have influenza or something.' Ed's stomach growled loudly, not eating properly for a year wasn't doing him good, and he hadn't eaten in…two days.

Roy's eyes sapped open and he looked directly at Ed, "Your awake."

"Roy, I'm sorry I don't know how I got here, I didn't even know I was in Central. I'll leave I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Ed rambled standing up quickly but become very dizzy and sat down to recollect himself.

"Ed calm down," Roy voice was horse and strained. 'He is sick,' Ed thought.

"No I need to go. I shouldn't even be here." Ed said trying to stand again.

"Edward, if you want to leave fine. I'm not going to force you to do anything again. But at lest eat a meal and let me wash your cloths before you go." Roy said standing.

Ed stood wobbly then sat back down, "Okay."

Roy nodded sadly and left the room coming back in with some cloths Ed had left. "Here, I'll go start something for you to eat." Roy said tossing the cloths beside Ed on the couch then turning to the kitchen. Ed noticed Roy's voice was still raspy as if he was sick and his hands were shaky.

Ed started to change cloths the stopped. "Roy? Can I take a shower?" Ed called from the living room.

"I wish you would." Roy replied sadly.

Ed walked carefully into Roy's bedroom and cringed, memories of that shared bed filled his mind. Tears formed in his eyes as he walked into the bathroom, and proceeded to taking a shower.

Ed walked into the living room greeted with the smell of bacon and eggs. Roy walked into the living room right after Ed and handed him his plate and fork.

Ed sat down with it and took a bite while Roy turned and looked at the clock then sat down.

"Why aren't you eating?" Ed asked.

"I'm not hungry." Roy replied.

"You should probably eat." Ed said.

"I'll eat at HQ." Roy replied sadly, "Let me wash your cloths," Roy said standing.

Ed just handed him his cloths that he brought back from the bathroom.

"These aren't worth washing really, I think they will just rip more." Roy said, "All your cloths are still here. I haven't thrown them out." Roy grabbed the pocket of Ed' jeans. There was something hard underneath his hand.

Roy got in the pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Roy clenched his jaw then handed them to Edward and walked away.

Ed sat there and raised his eyebrows, 'I can't believe I forgot to take them out. He didn't chew my ass out though.'

After Ed ate an awkward silence hit the two. Roy sat staring out the window and Ed lay with his back to Roy on the couch.

The couch wasn't an easy place for Ed to be lying. Memories of lying with Roy and enjoying a moment of time.

Roy stood and stretched before going to get Ed's new cloths. Ed would have already left but when Roy offered him the couch he decided to stay a little longer.

Ed fell asleep before Roy got back into the room, Roy turned and went back into his room and lay on the bed.

Ed was back, he is ok. His appearance isn't great. Ed's hair was dulled again, he was thin, his skin looked unhealthy, and those eyes held pain, guilt. And loneliness and maybe a hint of fear.

Roy knew his appearance was just a good as he felt, he had chest pains, he could feel his own heart pounding, always upset to his stomach thus causing him to under eat. Roy could have mood swings though they were rare, he was depressed of course, and felt guilty all the time.

Roy knew it was all due to stress, thanks to Dr. Bright and Smiley Berrett Bitch.

Riza told him the same, 'Roy your going to die from a heart attack or something stupid if you don't push Ed in the back of your mind' she rode on his ass like that for months before giving up.

"A heart attack would do me some good if it ended right." Roy said into the pillow before falling asleep.

An hour passed and Roy woke up from a nightmare, cold sweat over his body and nauseous.

Ed was, to Roy's dismay, awake. Ed had been lying in the living room thinking about just leaving now, he actually was about to head for the door until he hear Roy make a run to the bathroom. Ed didn't think much of it other than he must have really had to piss, that was until he heard a choked coughing then the contents of Roy's stomach hit the water in the toilet.

Ed made a dead run to the bathroom stopping in the doorway seeing Roy on his knees bent over the toilet.

"Ed go back in the living room y-" Roy managed before retching again.

"Roy, I'm not leaving you like this, you could choke." Ed said walking in and wetting a washcloth with cold water.

"You don't need to see this." Roy said flushing the toilet.

"I don't mind, I've seen worse. I've been worse." Ed said handing Roy the washcloth. "Is it the flu?" Ed asked the touching Roy's forehead with his flesh hand.

"I guess," Roy lied. Ed caught the lie.

"No it's not, what else causes you to throw up? Have you been drinking?" Ed asked.

Roy just looked up in those golden orbs he missed so much and saw pure worry, "No, I don't see it fair to you. I'd be hypocritical, telling you not to drink, then reverting back my old ways, no." Roy turned back to the toilet bowl and stared at it for a second then retched again.

Ed simply placed a hand on Roy's back, feeling all his muscles tense and relax then tense again. Roy coughed and flushed the toilet after wiping his mouth and nose with the washcloth.

"Well, have you been to Berrett-Bitch?" Ed asked.

"Yeah…" Roy replied and sat on the floor.

"Well…what did he say it was?" Ed asked sitting to the side of Roy.

"Nothing of your concern Ed." Roy said sadly.

Ed's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"Why do you want to know Ed?" Roy asked sadly.

"Damn it Roy why wouldn't I want to know? It's not like I stopped caring about you!" Ed said with a slight blush.

"Just don't worry about it." Roy said then the phone rang. Ed stood and held out a hand to help Roy stand.

Walking up to the phone Roy cleared his throat, "Hello?"

"Hey Roy," Riza said on the other line, "Jean and I thought we'd pick you up for work."

"Well, ok I guess…"

"Thirty minutes then?" Riza asked.

"Sure…" Roy replied hanging up the phone.

"Hawkeye and Havoc will be here in thirty minutes to pick me up for work." Roy said quietly.

"Ok…should I leave then?" Ed asked reaching for his cigarettes.

"Do whatever you find fit, Edward." Roy replied sadly, "Like I said; I'm not forcing you to do anything again."

"So? It would hurt you if I stayed?" Ed asked taking a cigarette out of the pack.

Roy glared at the cigarette then looked sadly up at Ed. "It wouldn't hurt me at all. My door is open, this is still your house too." Roy said with a small smile.

"Then, I'll stay. I didn't like the streets anyway." Ed grabbed his lighter and walked to the door.

Roy smiled brightly as he could manage and then left to dress.

Ed sat on the porch and lit his smoke and took a drag. He started smoking about a month after leaving Roy. 'Roy's going to kill me sooner or later about this,' Ed thought flicking the ashes.

Roy soon came outside and draped a coat over Ed's shaking shoulders, "Are you really that stupid?" Roy asked.

"I suppose." Ed replied knowing he was talking about coming out with out a coat.

Roy sighed and took in Ed's appearance more, multiply bruises, black eye bushed lip, "So are you staying until you heal then leaving again?" Roy asked.

"If that's what you want," Ed said taking another drag from his cigarette.

"Do what you want, your more than welcome to live here." Roy said turning and going back in.

Ed finished smoking and looked at the cigarette butt, and flicked it into the yard before walking back into the house.

Roy was standing the kitchen drinking a small cup of coffee.

"Am I staying here or what?" Ed asked.

"Whatever you want to do." Roy said yet again.

"I don't know what to do, Roy! I feel awkward!" Ed said.

"And I don't? You left me remember?" Roy said sitting down his mug.

"Yes I remember! It was a mistake I should have never left! It nearly killed me!" Ed said his voice cracking.

"Then why'd you leave!?" Roy asked firmly.

"Because! I was weighing you down! You get in trouble with Davidson, I was costing you a lot of money! And-"

"And I didn't care! I still don't!"

"I drug you to Risembool, Winry started shit!"

"Edward! I don't care! I had you with me that's all that mattered! While you were gone I wasn't my self! Hell, just look at me! I could get you out of my head for one second! No matter what was happening! I almost got demoted!"

Ed was speechless; he knew it would hurt Roy a little but not this much! "Damn it! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have left I know! I know!" Ed cried turning his head away from Roy.

Roy realized Edward was crying but he found himself not caring, "You left and took all of me with you! Damn it Edward, I needed you so much! I can't handle another broken heart I've had three too many!" Roy felt a tear travel down his cheek.

"I've completely ruined another life! I'll leave, I am no good here." Ed said with tears traveling down his face.

"Truly if you want to leave again the door is right there if not I want you to say! It's your damned choice!" Roy raised his raspy voice.

Jean heard this as he stepped out of the car, along with Riza and they made a sprint to the door and in the house and almost fell over when they saw Ed and Roy standing in the kitchen tears down both their face.

Riza felt rage toward Ed and pity at the same time, but she was always closer to Roy than she was Ed; and without thinking she reached out and turned Ed to face her slapping him across the face once.

Ed's eye grew wide and he lowered his head, "Roy Mustang, I'm so sorry for what I did, I will never forgive myself. I understand if you never forgive me but, I'll only stay if you really want me too." Ed said slowly as tears left his eyes, "I love you so much, I thought I was helping you when I left."

"Edward Elric if he wanted you to leave he would have told you! Are you that damned blind!" Jean snapped.

Roy lowered his head and brought his hands to his face wiping the tears before moving toward Ed. "Edward, I love you so much." Roy said pulling Ed into a tight embrace.

Jean and Riza stood back and watched Ed quickly return the embrace. Both their shoulders where trembling from sobbing, Ed had his face in Roy's nape and Roy had his face turned to Ed's golden locks.

Riza squeezed the bridge of her nose and turned to give then their space, Jean following her.

"Well, is it good or bad that he's back?" Jean asked.

"That's their way of working things out. Fighting; it always has been. And Ed agreed with Roy." Riza said as she sat on the couch.

Roy held Ed as close as he could, afraid if he let go of him he would run away again, "Edward," Roy said pulling away a little. Their chest were not touching but the lower half of there bodies were Roy put his hand on Ed's chest feeling Ed's wildly beating heart, "I am not losing you again, Let me out and let me in, 'cause you're not alone here, Not at all, Let me belong here, Break my fall.(2)"

Ed's eyes started watering again and he buried his face in Roy's shoulder. "I'm so sorry! I'll broke your heart! I can't believe myself!"

Roy kissed Ed's head. "I'm not working today Riza!"

"Let me take that up with Davidson!" She called back.

Roy swayed Ed side to side a little, his heart was 'warming' Feeling, seeing, smelling Ed was all he needed in his life. He didn't need money, that was a luxury, he didn't need a damn thing other than a sturdy roof or his head and Ed's. Roy took a deep breath smelling vanilla, oil, and that damned cigarette smoke. "I'll have to get used to that." Roy said softly.

"What?" Ed asked into Roy's shoulder.

"Your smoking." Roy said.

"I'll quit." Ed said.

"You don't have to." Roy said.

"Davidson said one day." Riza called.

"Fuck Davidson!" Roy called.

"You'll talk to him about that one, we got to go Roy! Bye you two!" Jean called.

"See ya!" They called. When Roy heard the door closed they moved into the living room to lie on the couch.

(1) Away by Breaking Benjiman

(2) Break my Fall by Breaking Benjiman i changed it from 'I am Loosing you again' to 'I am not loosing you again'

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Love you all! And Thanks to Shi Fox for the idea with the song lyrics!

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