"I can't hurt you."
"But Kenny I lov-"
"Don't say it, I hurt too much. I have to leave." He moved his hand towards my shoulder as if to comfort me, but I flung it away, I didn't want a pat on the shoulder for comfort.
"Why Kenny I thought you loved me!" I screamed, tears falling down my red face as I sobbed. He pulled me into a hug before I could reject to it.
"I do." he said in a near whisper, resting his head in my shoulder. I could feel the silent shoulder stain my thin t-shirt.
"Then why are you leaving!" I scream once again trying to push him away.
"Because I promised not to hurt you… If I don't leave I will!" Kenny yelled somewhat irritated, but the look in his eyes when he said these words was as if he were trying to convince himself of it too.
"Why? Do you love someone else? I'll change... I'll do anything!" Kenny looked sincerely hurt by this and pulled away from our hugging position.
"I only love you. You're the first and last person I'll love, so don't go and try to be someone different because that's not what it is at all." He stared deep into my eyes, exaggerating the last words to try and get them in my head. He but both hands on my shoulder, I didn't resist... I was too tired.
"Then why are you leaving me!" I said my voice getting raspy and dry, but my tears still flowing.
"Kyle, believe me, this is the hardest thing I probably will ever have to do in my life! But it's better for you, I promised to protect you and make your life better!" He shook me aggressively, staring me straight in my eyes trying to hold back the tears that were falling anyway.
"But that's what your doing Kenny!" DO something, look in his eyes, kiss him, tell him nobody else matters, do something Kyle!
"No… It's not. You may not see it now but you will later in life. You'll be happier without me. Kyle Broflovski, I will always love you, always... never forget that." He pulled me close as if he were about to kiss me, but jerked back as soon as he did as if I were poison.
Then he ran, farther and farther- Till even his shadow was out of sight- He left me.
He said he didn't want to hurt me. Well he might as well cut me open, take all my organs, gouge out my eyeballs, and stab me in the heart a couple times, and even that could not compare to the pain I feel right now. Some people may think this was simple teenager love but it wasn't, it was much more than that. I know nobody really gets married to their high school sweetheart… but I thought maybe - just for once- God, Moses, Aphrodite, or whoever would make an exception!
I yanked at my t-shirt, my chest felt hollow -Like I couldn't breath- my eyes widen as I fall to the ground on my knees. I curl up and begin to cry. My world was colliding, as I fell deeper and deeper into the darkness, parts of me flew away with the darkness until I was nothing
But it didn't matter if the darkness consumed me, ate me up until I disappeared and went some where far, far away. Because I don't have a heart, Kenny was my heart… as emo as it sounds he was my whole entire world. Now I'm left with nothing, except the snowing falling to the ground and the darkness surrounding me. My chest is hollow.
I look over at Starks pond. We had so many great memories here. Now I have another memory, but it's not so great. God, I must look like such a pathetic faggot right now. It's 7 in the evening in negative ten degree weather and I'm lying in the snow with a t-shirt on crying.
This sucks so much.
I suck so fucking much.
I hate this god dam town.
AGGGH! I really, really hated this first original chapter I wrote so this is the TRUE first chapter... anyways I still feel like the ending was weak as hell! sorry for any grammar errors, and I will try to update this as much as possible ( along with Secrets, but I've been having major writer block with that story) but my computer is broken so I have to go to my grandpa just to update stories! :( So, enjoy constructive criticism is welcome while flame is not! P.S. this story used to be called a Deep, Deep Fall for all you two past readers, haha.
~ Madi