Author: I apologize. I forgot to mention this is the first chapter regarding when this would take place since I make references to the other books. I say sometime after the "Bionic Boogerboy part 1" ,but instead of that book's ending the reverse Combine-O-Tron 2000 worked the first time. I'm trying to stay away from the time travel stuff I mean it was funny, but the timelines are impossible for me to keep track of.

Chapter 2

Mr. Underpants

"How?" Harold stopped in the middle of the hallway rubbing his hand against his forehead, "how does he keep catching onto us George?"

"Darn, he must've caught us using these metal detectors. So they aren't using sensors in the walls or ground after all."

"What do we do?"

"Calm down, let's not say anything unless he asks."

"Good plan," Harold disassembled the detectors and placed them in his backpack as they were doing a snickering freckle-faced nerd crossed their path.

"Oooooh you boys are gonna get in so much trouble."

"Shut up Melvin! Do you think he's the reason the Krupp keeps on catching us?" asked George.

"Not likely," his friend replied. What Harold was saying was true the school famous snitch was good, but not that passed by the office and Miss Anthrope was giving them a 'I really don't want to be here right now and thank you boys for making it worse' kind of look.

"What's her problem?" Harold asked. George shrugged and they walked in. The principal was waiting at least that's what they expected what they got was Mr. Krupp with his pants hanging at the end of his legs otherwise he was practically only in his undies. The man didn't have his usual scowl, but the super hero didn't have that goofy smile either. He was frowning not in a sad way his expression on his face reflected terror that the boys had never seen him have.

His whole body was trembling and for some reason he wouldn't stop glancing at his finger that he tightly clenched with his left hand. George did not Harold know for sure what to make of him "Captain Underpants?" they guessed.

"Thank goodness," he crouched down to hug them, "the talky thing worked in summoning you boys. I was so worried you got kidnapped I searched the entire city for you two." It appears their assumption was correct only now they had to determine whether or not that was a good thing.

"I can't believe he used the intercom." Whispered Harold.

George replied on the other side of the hero's arms, "I know, me too. We never taught him to do that, did we?"

When Captain Underpants was done embracing them George brought a lingering question he had on his mind, "Why would you believe that we got kidnapped?"

"As my sidekicks, you guys always seem to be there to tell me where the danger is, and when you didn't show up I assumed the worst. Fortunately, it turns out you and the city are safe from the naughty activities of regular criminals although I've been digging up some secrets in this school and uncovered a dark mystery."

He pointed to a monitor, and that's when the boys noticed a pile of videos sitting next to it. "So, he's been taping us. The security cameras, of course," George hammered his fist down on his head, "That should've been obvious."

"I'm just wondering what took him so long to come up with that after he blackmailed us that one time."

"In a weird way, I sort of feel like those cameras have always been there."

"Yeah the way teachers breathe down our necks being watched by cameras is almost like an afterthought. Wait a sec, we pointed our detectors like everywhere in the school and we got nothing."

"He probably could only afford those cheap plastic cameras," George pointed out.

"OH, that makes sense." Just then you know who broke out into the conversation.

"You-you guys gotta help me," he chattered still clenching his hand," I don't know who or why, but I think some dastardly villain is BRAINWASHING ME!"

The boys were stunned, "Brainwashing... YOU?"

"I know it sounds too crazy to be real right, but look!" Captain Underpants replayed the scene with their fiasco at the playground," See how horribly they made me treat you two, it seems it only happened when I went undercover so at least my reputation is safe." he stated reassuringly. " I have a number a whole list of the most evil villains who would be able to pull something like this ,and I plan to track them down one by one until they give me the cure to this dark side curse. First off there is the lunch ladies from outer-space they've done something like this before ,but-but it could also be Poopypants he could have the technology-"

"Actually," Harold coughed to get his attention, " How do I explain this? You can't get rid of him because it's the other way around the person you saw on the video is inside of you."

"So they've implanted an evil parasite meant to look like my twin inside of me. This'll be extra tricky to get out. If I can't find an antidote before it takes over me then I suppose then I'll just have to fight him one on one then. The old-fashioned way."

"You don't mean?" Yes, he did mean. Captain Underpants repeatedly punched himself giving out quips and one-liners in the process. "Is that all the fight you got? Get ready, Wedgie power activate," he pulled his underwear over his head and let go. The thing shot back like a slingshot going 100kmph ,"Owwww." He yelped in pain yet repeated other creative painful tortures such levitating himself into walls and ceiling fans for about 15 minutes straight.

"George, I can't keep watching him hurt himself like this we have to tell him the entire truth," Harold tugged on his friend's shirt, but George was quite amused at the sight and continued laughing, "I'm serious!"

"Relax bro, there's no need to do that I can just get some water, and things will go back to normal like it always it did before."

Yes, buuut he never found out before," Harold was getting fed up with George's sarcastic attitude "If you know who is going to stick around I don't think we can keep this up till junior high. This our faults maybe it's time we own up to it."

"Woah, where did this come from?" asked George, "You never acted this upset about it. He's invulnerable he can't actually get into any real danger."

"What about when Mr. Krupp wakes up, and finds his entire body numb from spanking or something whose he gonna blame for that."

"Good point."

"Besides we created Captain Underpants so therefore we can trust him. It's not like he's going to call our parents or anything."

"Stop," Harold said hollering to the conflicted hero who was giving himself a whack on the gnoggin. "You can't actually beat him because you're not actually Captain Underpants."

"This isn't the time to take part in your delightful sense of humor. There could be lives on the line. Ooff!" A normal person would have probably knocked their teeth out with that last blow he gave.

"No, listen to us Mr. Krupp is the actual you, you're Captain Underpantsness isn't real."

"What, that doesn't even make a diaper load of sense if I'm not Captain Underpants then where is the real Captain Underpants. I need him to whip this villain's behind."

"Don't you get it, you don't actually exist."

He now suddenly ceased fighting with himself, "I-I don't exist?"

"Yes, you only exist in our and Mr. Krupp's imaginations and on paper sometimes not in real life."

"I don't get it…" Captain Underpants had that worried look on his face once again.

Harold tried his best to summarize what happened to the dimwitted hero. "It's a long story. Basically, we hypnotized Mr. Krupp. We made him think he was the main character from our comics, and you would come every time someone snapped their fingers. Look, it was all an accident."

"Really? I'd say it was more of a joke we pulled," said George with a smug smile

Harold rolled his eyes," Okay, it was an accident and a joke that was admittedly kind of funny until we couldn't find a way to reverse its effects."

"So I'm not a superhero because you don't think I'm real?"

"We don't live in a comic book people don't fly around everywhere,but we gave you superpowers so technically you are a real one it's just your everything else isn't.

"My family Daddy Lonjohns Mommy Pantyhose in Underpantyland do they know about this? Can I ever see them again?" his eyes welled up and he hid his tears with the corners of his cape.

"We're telling you we made them up too. We wrote an origin story for you so you would overcome your fear of fabric starch."

"So-so my family they never exploded or anything. I just never had one in the first place," the heartbroken hero put his faced down and blew his nose into his cape. PPBBBBFFT.

Educating the man on why his entire life was a lie was getting really uncomfortable for the twosome. They were running out of ways to break the news to him. "I don't know you did have a nephew once he used to go to school here back when we were kindergartners."

"He was a jerk though."

"Yeah, he was the worst," Harold nodded, "although we did scare the pants out of him."

"No, we scared him with pants," George corrected giving off a short burst of laughter.

"Oh yeah, well same difference."

Captain Underpants didn't find their idea for a prank nearly as funny, "Why would you do that to a child?"

"He was in sixth grade that's practically an adult he and his friends were just being sissies."

"Pants can be a very scary thing to overcome! Did you apologize to him?" he said sternly tapping his foot.

"What no, we made him apologize to all the kids he bullied that's the whole reason we did it," George glanced over to Harold, "Since when did he get so bossy?"

Harold shrugged and shook his head, "All I know is that we need to find the closest water fountain possible. I need you to distract him." The blond boy headed out toward the main hall.

"Where is he-?"

"Bathroom," George blurted out loud the first things that popped into his head, "He really needed to go ,and he had to make sure none of your family members got flushed in there. Hey look what's this? Oh wow," he grabbed some random objects hanging on the desk. "Pencil and paper maybe oh boy you can try making your own comic with this," he said shoving the junk into his hands.

"I suppose writing down my own adventures could be fun…if they actually meant something," herather begrudgingly, but in an instant his face shot back up again, "Hold on, I know what to write," Captain Underpants jotted something down on the piece of paper real quick, and hid it behind his back.

George decided to play along to Underpants' childish antics, "Soo what did you wriitttee?"

The bald man coyly swayed back and forth, "I'm not telling it's a SURPRISE." he said with a tone that a sneaky little four-year old would have.

Before he could steal it from him Harold returned with a plastic cup "George I got the W-A-T-E-R," he winked.

George instantly came up with another diversion "Oh look, I think I might here a hostage on the desk. Professor Poopypants must of shrunk them so small that they're microscopic. Here take a look I can see a tiny person waving their hands for help."

He put his face in millimeters distant of the desk and declared, "never fear tiny person, for I Captain Underpants will- Bluurrgg," Harold dunked the contents of cup on the back of the bald hero's head.

"We got him wet. Now what?"

"We'll work this out later. For now, I have an idea," George suggested.

"What?" asked Harold

"Run!" and away from the storm they went.

Mr. Krupp gave a wide yawn and sat himself up, "Oh, I feel like I slept why am I still so tired…and wet? Wait ,ouch everything is sore." Like a rickety tree his stiff body got up off his chair and did a couple of stretches. He then lifted up his mug only to find it empty" And that's just took all my coffee, Perfect. It's not like I need to pay for that, and all those window and curtain replacements every other week." Mr. Krupp turned his head, "Oh come ON!"

Just then Miss Anthrope emerged from his door," have you calmed down yet because I was hoping-"

"Come in here again without asking, and you're FIRED!" he yelled on instinct and she bolted to her computer, and started typing away like mad. "Why do I still work at this place I can't be left alone anymore there's always someone who wants me to hold their hand and do the work for them. Well tough luck sweetheart try interacting a population ravaging munchkins all day, and see how insane you become." He took a deep breath and sat back down Mr. Krupp. Strangely enough and found a sticky note on the corner of his pants. "What this?" he grumbled ripping it off "Snap your fingers be a winner... Ha! That's hilarious these kids aren't even trying anymore. Oooh what you gonna do boys? Is a tiger going to eat me once I snap my-."

!SNAP!

Mr. Krupp did exactly what the person who wrote it wanted and a goofy smile came back on his face. Only this time it wasn't just goofy it was determined a smile of someone who felt like he won.

The Waistband Warrior suited up for business ,and busted through the door to the office.

"Wahh," she shrieked ,"that's like the third heart attack you've given me today! What have you come to fire me now Krupp?"

"Haha of course, I would never light you on fire. Whatever I may said ever just forget it." he said joyfully patting her on the back.

She didn't respond she just tucked her glasses in ,and starred nervously at her computer screen.

"They said I had a nephew right, hey Mrs. Writing lady can you tell me where he is?"

"Kipper graduated, remember? I know I'm behind schedule, but you don't have to give me patronizing requests and nicknames."

"Y'know something about you looks familiar..."

"What, err Acck," she slapped herself, "Of course I do, I've worked here for 8 years!"

"No somewhere else...are you sure there isn't a Mrs. Krupp?"

"No one that I've ever heard of although I do think you try to marry Ms. Tribble one time. When guys got to your wedding day though she blew it off because of your nose."

Captain Underpants then got curious went on to sticking his finger in it, "Perhaps that person was right to be cautious it is oddly shaped like a mushroom."

She ignored his immature actions and rolled her chair back carrying his nephew's permanent record "Sir, that's great and I understand you were in a state of shock. Why are you exactly asking me these questions again?"

Captain Underpants was busy picking up debris in his the left nostril when he suddenly had a revelation, "I've got it your the lady I saved from that giant robot booger monster thing. I'm a bit upset I sacrificed one of my favorite capes for you however I'm glad to see that you're alright."

She backed up in her chair away from his snot stained finger "How- how do you know about any of that? You weren't there."

"But I'm sure you were the one that I-" he looked down," Oh I get it." He began unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his belt as Miss Anthrope tried her best to cover her face.

"PLEASE don't do this to me Mr. Krupp. Not on school property. There are children that go here you know!"

He didn't stop however until he was only in his underwear and the windows were curtain less. "Tra-la-laaaa, see how about now?"

The secretary's hands shifted from her eyes to her mouth. She gasped," You really are that waist banded warrior that rescued me that day. Tell me, why did you leave me once I kissed you?"

"I don't recall that part at all ,but I'm sure I had a good reason for it."

"I can't believe you Mr. Krupp, you've been a superhero this entire time. So then why are you a school principle? Don't you have more important things to do?"

"The whole principle thing is just a cover-up and hobby I have when I'm not protecting the everyone. My official superhero name is Captain Underpants you've most likely heard my deeds around town already."

"This is great news, I have to tell everyone!" she grabs onto a microphone, and pushes a button. "Attention students, teachers, and faculty. I am proud to announce that our school principal has been keeping a secret from you in that he's actually mmphpphhhh-" Her announcement was stopped by Captain Underpants shoving his hands into her pie hole.

"You don't want to do that."

"And why not?" she asked in a low mumble.

"I have what the other super heroes like my good pals Superman and Batman refer to as a secret identity. We have them to protect the ones we love, or something along those lines. Come to think of it I've never actually read any comic books besides my own."

"Aww that's so sweet. Don't worry, if it means that much then your secret's safe with me." She smiled and turned the intercom back ,"Never Mind just get those kids back to whatever it was you were doing to them."

"You've been working really hard for a long time you should take a break."

"Are you saying I can take the week off?" she asked with an excited jump in her step.

"Oh-ho, I don't see why not."

"Yippee!" she jumped in the air. "You have no idea how stressful this week has been for bent down to reach her foot, "Do you mind if I take it off these heels they have been killing me."

"Yes you can, and in fact I'm making it against the rules to enforce a dress code. No uniforms will be the school can take off whatever you want to."

She nodded and kicked off her heels, but to Captain Underpants's surprise she then took it to the next step. "Thank the heavens this dress was really getting under my skin," Miss Anthrope stripped of the pink gown leaving her with only undergarments.

"Wow, I like your Spirit!" Captain Underpants cheered. "Woot!" They both yelling now twirling around their respected clothes running around the office. The faculty might of taken a peek ,but they were quick to walk away from the window as fast as possible. If you'd ask the current principle he'd say they were all jealous of them.

The two took a quick breather after ten minutes of frolicking," Mr. Captain Underpants, you look rather charming and handsome without that rag on your head. "Miss Anthrope gushed.

"Why thank you," Captain Underpants responded with a dashing pose and smile.

"Oh I could just," she puckered her drooling saliva filled lips towards the hero. He backed up and pushed her lips away with his finger.

"Haha, maybe some other time," he laughed nervously.

She shrugged, "Suit yourself," and skipped out of the building.

Luckily for her no one noticed except for Mr. Meaner who making kids run laps outside, but all he did was yell, "Dang, I didn't know we did casual Friday's."

This principal however still had things he wanted to do. "She seems nice I wonder where she put the," he picked up the permanent record of the former elementary student. "Ah here it is," he opened up the file," let's see Kipper Krupp sounds like a friendly enough kid. "What is this other stuff down here on the bottom. Okay, an easy to follow map to his house. That's neat. There is some sort of secret code down here too." He examined the grades Kipper had from way back in kindergarten. Captain Underpants never went to school to formally know what the letters actually meant. He couldn't read half of them anyway since there was lines blocking them replacing the letters with new letters like a crossed-out letter F with an A over the top and a G with a B- scribbled over. "This doesn't spell anything that girl should really start reconsidering her career." The few words he did make out was the word 'Pass' and the signature of Mr. Krupp.

"Aww so he did help this young man graduate maybe I misjudged my other character for being a terrible person…" he pondered for a second and then shook his head," Nope, still not going to take my chances!" He slammed the document closed. "Now to visit him. Better suit up for I rather be safe than sorry." He opened the door to the teachers' lounge where a group of teachers discussed their complaints about how their students were giving them a mid-life crisis.

"Hello fellow educators," he waved," does anybody have any super absorbent underwear I can borrow?"

"What for?" a couple of them asked with odd looks on their faces.

"Ah yes, you see it is because mine are really wet."

That got a variety of responses from the crowd most of which were from the Eww, gag, Too Much Information kind of categories.

"I believe some kid left a pair of boxers in the lost in found. You can lee them just Please never ask for something like this again."

"Thank you so much hehe," he chortled as he shut the door. Captain Underpants took child-sized boxers and cleverly put the boxers on top of his head keeping the waistline just above his eyes. "All set ,now even if my enemies know my true weakness they won't be able to touch me with these ultra-absorbent boxer shorts." He climbed to the ledge of the window and tugged the new curtain off the rack, "Woops! I almost left my cape I can't take to the skies without it Tra-la-laaaa," and away he went jetting across the sky.