Ruminations of Conrad the Ninja
2. Little Brothers are to be Ignored
"Ninja Conrad," you are probably asking, "What happens when your younger brother shows up and demands you return home, citing things like, duty, job, and other stupid crap nobody cares about?" Well, readers, I'm here for you, because I have encountered this exact situation many times!
The other day, for instance, I was liberating a small village of their oppressive government overlords and breaking all of the criminals out of prison (don't judge, they were probably good people), when what do you know, my little bratty brother shows up and tells me to stop! Why would anyone want Ninja Conrad to stop being a ninja?
Let me tell you people, if this happens, IGNORE THEM. They call them LITTLE brothers for a reason. Because they're small, and not worth your time. Once you stop being a ninja, life is dull and worthless! Don't listen to him when he gives you petty excuses such as, "It's your job to protect the king," "The country is on the verge of collapse," "Yuuri has been kidnapped and only you can save him," or, get this, "Mom misses you." Really? Why doesn't she just dress up like a ninja and come visit me then? Lamest excuse ever.
You see, little brothers do not know anything, because being younger than you are, they have less life experience. It doesn't matter what they do or how old they grow to be, they will ALWAYS know less than you do! Therefore, anything they say is stupid and naïve and not worth listening to! And if this younger brother has spent the majority of his life calling you names because you have brown hair and eyes and he's just jealous, calling you filth which is a total lie because you're clearly awesome as all-get-out, why even listen to anything he says ever?
He's just a kid. He'll never even grow up. Believe me. I am Ninja Conrad.