Some days later, the bell on the door of the Dot rang, and Jay sauntered inside.

"Cheeseburger and fries, Spin," he announced regally, scooting up to the bar. Holly J was seated with a spread of books and notes, scribbling away and taking no notice of him. "Well hello to you, too, squirt," he said playfully, hooking his arm around her. He placed his hand on her head and ruffled her hair abrasively.

Calmly, Holly J gripped her hand tightly around Jay's ear until it turned scorching pink and then pale white. Jay howled in pain. She yanked his head two feet downward in one tug, and glared as she sat poised over him on the barstool.

"Jason," she said through gritted teeth. "Don't ever touch my ponytail again, or I will destroy you and sell your parts for the good of science." She released his ear and shoved him away.

"Jesus!" Jay yelled, flailing to regain composure. As he stood back up, he stumbled into Holly J's books and binders and all of them tumbled to the floor. He ignored the mess as he slid onto a barstool of his own. He met Holly J's eyes, which stared at him expectantly.

"What?" he said.

"Ahem." Holly J pointed to the scattered books and papers on the floor.

"What? Seriously?" Jay whined. "I am not picking that up. You just assaulted me!"

Holly J said nothing. She simply stared, her eyebrows raised and her lips pursed defiantly.

"Look, you can give me the bitch-eye all you want; I'm immune, sister."

She cocked her head, staring.

Jay groaned. "Fine. Fine." He bent over and started collecting her things, tossing them carelessly back onto the bar. One stray piece of paper skidded around as he scrambled to grab it all, and the bright, curvy handwriting caught his eye. He grinned devilishly as he snagged it and started reading. Holly J realized what he had picked up, and her eyes widened in horror.

"The to-do list of Holly J Sinclair," Jay said slyly. He was tickled by the entry, lose virginity. "Wow. I knew you were a busy woman, but you really try to pack in a full day, don't you?"

"Shut your trap, Eminem."

Jay was starting to turn pink from the laughter he could hardly contain. Holly J rolled her eyes and yanked the paper from his hands.

"Laugh all you want, scumball, because at the end of the day, I'm still the one that's never had an STD."

"And never will, at this rate. Ow!" Holly J hadn't hesitated to box his ear.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Wallet-Picture."

"Touche, Miss J." Jay removed the cap from his head and placed it on the bar, sighing as he ran his fingers through his mildly greasy brown hair. Holly J paused for a moment, realizing she'd never actually seen him without his hat on. She was shocked to realize he looked almost like a boy, rather than a pile of grease rags with eyes and limbs.

Spinner appeared in front of them on the opposite side of the bar. Holly J quickly stashed her to-do list in her binder, shifting uncomfortably in his presence. Spinner placed a hot plate of food in front of Jay.

"Play nice, guys," Spinner warned jokingly. He hadn't been listening to their conversation, but just seeing their body language in his periphery had told him they were up to their usual back-and-forth.

Jay glanced at Holly J as he shoved the cheeseburger into his mouth. "So you're really still a virgin?" he asked.

Holly J shrugged, her head held up with its usual confidence. She wasn't about to let Jay intimidate her. "Well… yeah. Why, you gonna try and tease me about it? Because trust me, whatever you think you can throw at me, there's a brigade of slutty cheerleaders that's already beat you to it."

"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one…" Jay chuckled. He swallowed his food and, after a moment's pause, slammed his hand down on the counter. "That's it. It's time for my good deed of the week."

Holly J eyed him suspiciously. "Yikes, I don't like the sound of that. Should I keep the fire department on speed dial?"

"Poison control, too," Spinner interjected, diving in and out of their conversation as he refilled a soda and went to deliver it to a table.

"No seriously," Jay said, patting Holly J's shoulder. "I am going to get you laid."

Holly J's eyes widened. "God help us. I'd rather risk fire and poison."

Jay grinned. "Your virginity doesn't stand a chance in my capable hands."

"Gross."

"Come on, Holly J, I'm being serious. I won't even try to sleep with you."

"How noble."

"I'm committed to helping you getting laid, for absolutely no personal gain."

"You mean other than the money you'll make selling tapes on the internet?"

Spinner came near them once again, dropping a pile of dishes into the bus pan. "Dude, I'm only hearing bits and pieces of what's going on over here, but I'm definitely afraid," he said.

"So who's the lucky guy here?" said Jay, ignoring Spinner. He reached into Holly J's binder and pulled the to-do list back out. "Blue?"

Holly J sighed. She had never been comfortable talking about her crushes, not even to Anya. There was something about it that made her feel vulnerable, and Sinclairs didn't do well as vulnerable. Could she honestly sit there and gush over boys with Jay of all people?

A few weeks prior, the thought would have been completely untouchable. But as she had been working at the Dot and sinking into social obscurity lately, she somehow felt eerily at ease with Jay Hogart as her confidant. He had no real ties to her social world, and she felt like she could be honest with him in a way that she was rarely able to be at school.

"It's that guy you saw at the dance," Holly J answered, twisting her fingers together as she spoke. "He's in my art class. Totally gorgeous and smart and talented, and I thought he was into me, hence the big circle around his name."

"Ah," Jay responded, remembering their brief chat at the dance. "So you've already put this plan into motion, then."

Holly J nodded, her face glowing a warm, embarrassed pink. "Oh yeah. Morbidly humiliating. We were alone in the art room, I was in total go-mode, and he… said he didn't want to."

Jay scratched his stubbly chin. "Uh-huh. So let me get this straight. The guy's name is Blue, and you met him in art class. You also offered to have sex with him without even making him take you on a date, and he turned you down. Now, tell me, are we one hundred percent sure he isn't gay?"

"Yes!" Holly J scoffed, swinging her arm around and slugging Jay in the shoulder. He tried not wince at the pain; for a tiny girl, she sure packed a wallop. Must have been all that tumbling on power squad. He remembered Manny's muscular arms with longing.

Jay shrugged. "Alright, alright, just checking. You can never be too sure, you know." He sighed dramatically and put his hands over his heart. "My first true love scorned me to go over to the gay side, you know."

Spinner, overhearing from behind the bar where he was wiping down ketchup bottles, couldn't suppress his laughter.

Jay glared at Spinner. "Oh shut up, dude. If you recall, it was your ex-girlfriend that Alex hooked up with. You know, the one you keep running back to pathetically every time she's willing to give you some pity sex."

Spinner's face got serious. "Dude, shut up, okay?"

Jay turned to Holly J. "See now, squirt, this is one crucial mistake you've got to avoid." He motioned towards Spinner with his thumb. "You can't let the first person you have sex with be the first person you fall for, otherwise you end up like Dot-Boy over here: hung up for life."

Spinner chucked an empty ketchup bottle at Jay's head. "Hey, asshole, I said shut up already. I am not hung up on Paige. I am extremely happy with Jane. And since you brought it up, I'd like to remind you that Paige is not the first girl I had sex with. It was Manny."

Jay shifted uncomfortably in his seat, while Holly J's eyes widened. She looked back and forth between the two boys, stifling a giggle. "Wait, Spin, you dated Manny too?" Spinner shrugged. Holly J groaned in frustration and buried her face on the bar for a moment. "That's it. I give up. You guys are like, rock solid buds, and yet you lost your virginity to the girl that you are madly in love with? I'll never be able to keep up with all this… dating is way too complicated for me."

Spinner laughed softly, forgetting completely that only moments ago he had been furious with Jay. Spinner had indeed ridden his own rollercoaster of high school dating, but now that he was finally settled with someone in a mature relationship, he found it endearing to watch someone younger face that rocky stage anew. "Don't worry, J. You can't over-think it. Just let it happen naturally."

"Yeah," Jay chimed in with a significantly more bitter tone. It was easy for Spinner to be all rainbows and sunshine, after all; he had a girlfriend. "And then once you get the dating ball rolling, you'll never be able to get out of it. And you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. Exciting, no?"

Holly J sighed, glancing at Spinner's smile and at Jay's morose grimace. As if she weren't confused enough about boys, she wasn't sure she was going to get very far getting her love advice from Dumb and Dumber.