More fun coming at ya! This is coming a lot faster than planned, but since I'm almost done with the third chapter, I figured I couldn't sit on this any longer.

And, full disclosure, you'll notice there's no longer the Wells suspicion that was really getting going at the end of Rogue Time featured in this fic. It's not what I'm focusing on, so I just discarded it. Prerogatives of a fanfic writer.

(-)

Barry was so deeply focused on his work that afternoon that he didn't notice the intruder in his lab until it was too late. He received a punch to the shoulder.

"Barry Allen, what's this I hear about a handsome stranger who has already given you an affectionate nickname and is planning a date with you?" Iris was grinning, the teasing note to her voice almost comforting. Almost. Hard to be comfortable lying about a criminal mastermind somewhat extorting Barry into a date.

Rubbing his shoulder, Barry said, "It kinda sounds like what you said is what you heard."

Iris pulled up a chair to sit next to him to grill him. "Well, yeah, but why is this the first I'm hearing about it? What's his name? How long have you been seeing each other? If you've been hiding a secret boyfriend from me, Barry Allen, I will hurt you. You know that we don't care who you're with as long as you're happy."

Barry knew the "we" was her and Joe. They knew that he went both ways, due to an awkward crush that Iris found out about in high school. It was extra awkward since Iris was also Barry's crush. "We haven't been seeing each other. He just cornered me this morning and made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"That sounds half adorably determined and half like you're dating a crime lord." Barry had an inner panic when she said that.

Since Barry didn't immediately reply, Iris kept interrogating. "Why does he call you 'Scarlet'?"

Almost on cue, Barry felt his face heating up. He couldn't tell her that it was Snart's teasing nickname for the Flash. What was he supposed to tell her?

"Nevermind, I think I see. I'm not sure I've seen you that red before. You really like him, don't you?"

Barry's chest felt tight. Over the course of the morning, he hadn't been able to keep his mind from wandering, and he'd realized, yes, at some point his attraction to his villain had morphed into a full-blown crush. But by Cold's own admission, he was only playing with Barry because he was bored. It hurt.

"What's wrong, Barry?" Iris slid a hand down his arm.

"Nothing. I'm just pretty sure this is a bad idea, even if I do like him."

"Why?"

Barry hesitated, but then decided to be honest. "I'm not sure he really likes me. I think he's just playing with me."

A stern expression settled onto Iris's face. "If he is, you're going to send him my way for a chat. I may not be a hardened criminal, but I grew up with a cop for a dad and my best friend is a CSI. I'm confident that I could make him disappear if I needed to."

The speedster couldn't help but grin at that. Until he considered that Captain Cold was a hardened criminal, and Iris threatening him would be very bad. "No need for that. I can kick his ass myself if I need to."

Iris giggled. "Barry Allen: Kick-ass Avenger. I remember how all your fights went when we were kids, Barr."

Even if she didn't know he was the Flash, Iris's dismissal hurt. Barry was still trying to get over her. Maybe this thing with Snart could distract him from his real heartache.

"Well, if you're done making fun of my Fists of Futility, I should get back to work." Barry deliberately turned away from her to his desk.

"Fine, but one more question: what is this guy's name?"

Barry sighed. "Len."

Iris smiled. "Sounds…sweet. And he'd better be. No one is going to treat my best friend like a toy. You tell him that, or I will."

Barry shook his head at Iris's opinion of Snart's nickname. "You'd have a hard time getting ahold of him, Iris."

Now Iris shook her head. "Jessica said he's a regular. I'm not above hanging around Jitters during her shifts until she can point him out to me."

That sent a shiver down the speedster's spine. Regular? How many morning coffees had Barry gotten under the watchful gaze of Captain Cold? No wonder he knew exactly how Barry took his coffee.

"Just don't worry about it. I'm a big boy, Iris. I can fight my own battles."

"Fine." Iris's tone in no way indicated that he had won that battle or convinced her of anything. But she kissed his forehead and left without further discussion.

Barry pulled out his phone. So, I hear you're a regular at Jitters. Which explains how you knew about my coffee. We need to discuss this stalking habit of yours.

Recon, Scarlet. Know thy enemy. I didn't get to be the best thief in Central City without paying attention to all the details.

"Know thy enemy's coffee preferences" wasn't ever said by Sun Tzu. You've moved out of recon and into stalking.

It took a few minutes for Cold to reply to that. Feels like you're nervous about me stumbling on some dark secret. That means I'm right to pay attention.

You know my biggest secret, or we wouldn't be having this conversation. Why

"Barry!"

The speedster jumped and fumbled his phone away as Joe came into his lab. "I need the report on the Henson case."

Barry just nodded and let his heart settle down as he shifted the folders on his desk around until he found the right one. "Here it is."

"Thanks." Joe paused mid-turn and looked at Barry. "You okay, son? I didn't mean to startle you, but you must have been pretty engrossed in conversation."

Damn his pale complexion being the perfect billboard to advertise his embarrassment. "Just having a discussion."

But Joe smiled knowingly, which did not help Barry's blushing, and said, "Don't let me stop you. See you at home, Barr."

Barry pulled his phone out to finish his message as soon as Joe was out of sight. Why are you researching me instead of your next heist?

Who says I can't multitask? I'm exceptionally talented at it; I'll have to show you sometime.

Barry hadn't calmed down from Joe's intrusion and now he felt too warm all over. Considering how Snart might make good on that promise was not helpful. And what the hell was he supposed to say to that? There was one thing he wanted to ask above anything else, but he didn't think he should, lest he let on that he was too invested in this. But if it would resolve the ache in his chest one way or the other, he needed to.

Why are you doing this, really?

It took Snart so long to reply that Barry was back to work when his phone buzzed. He picked it up, almost afraid to read the reply. You're fun, Scarlet. I've never had a lot of that in my life. So why not spend time with you now that we've come to an understanding?

Too warm. Cold was far too good at getting Barry hot and bothered. Unfair since Barry couldn't return the favor to the cool-tempered thief. Snart did make it sound like he wanted to be friends with Barry, of all things.

Heists aren't fun?

Of course they are. You're just a special kind of fun all by yourself.

And, fuck, Barry was getting hard at work. Not good. He set his phone down and scooted in closer to his desk. If this was how bad his crush on Captain Cold was, he was screwed. Especially since he was supposed to play boyfriend with the thief and have a romantic dinner. Would Snart kiss him? He'd said that they'd been going out for three months; if they wanted to make it look convincing, they'd have to kiss at least once.

And Barry had to stop thinking about it, because the temptation to touch himself was getting stronger. He wasn't going to masturbate in the precinct to the idea of Captain Cold kissing him while "multitasking". He wasn't.

Don't pretend you don't know you're special. You heroes and your ridiculous modesty is sickening.

He wasn't. Snart saying those things had his heart pounding, and it had been a long time since Barry had gotten this excited and flustered over someone. It was bad that it was Snart, but it was still like part of him had been holding its breath and was finally breathing freely again. He'd tried to feel anything like this with Linda, but it didn't quite connect.

You know this date is fake, right? You don't have to sweet talk me. Barry had to mitigate the fallout before it happened. Snart couldn't just say all this stuff and get his hopes up.

I won't say I'll never lie to you, Barry; I will. But not without good reason. There's no reason to lie about such an obvious truth. Didn't think I'd have to accuse you of being slow, Flash.

And Barry was back to heart flutters and warm feelings inside. He set his phone aside again and tried to calm down. He didn't know what to say to that anyway. Better to work for a while.

Barry had almost put Cold from his mind when his phone buzzed again, and he groaned. Fancy a walk in the park tonight? We can discuss our upcoming date.

Already have a lot of "walking" planned for tonight. Keeps me busy.

When do you usually patrol? I'm a night owl; I can wait till you finish your late shift.

Cold seemed quite eager to see him again, and Barry tried not to read into it. It was Monday, Cold probably just wanted to get the details settled so he could be done with Barry until Friday.

If it's a slow night, we usually quit about midnight, but we have our system set to alert me if something big comes over the wire. Barry thought he probably shouldn't be giving Cold these details, but he was certain Snart could figure it out for himself, given enough time.

So, a midnight stroll it is. You can let me know if your night isn't slow.

It'll help if you refrain from stealing anything tonight.

I'll have to check my calendar.

Barry laughed. Damn that charming thief. Already the speedster was longing to have his patrol over with so he could see the older man.

One problem: no room for my cell in my suit. If I get held up I won't have any way to let you know. I can't exactly ask my friends to send that message for me.

Why? Ashamed of me, Barry?

Barry felt an abrupt surge of anger. You kidnapped Caitlin, and Heatwave threatened to burn her skin off and nearly blew her up. You kidnapped Cisco and his brother, made him build you weapons, froze his brother's hands, and forced him to betray my confidence. Yes, I feel ashamed for fraternizing with you after everything you've done to them.

Fair point. I'll just head into the park around midnight and walk around until you can catch up with me. Sound like a plan?

Snart just took his anger in stride. Of course, the thief knew he deserved it. Still, Barry felt bad that he might have to make him wait. It's autumn already. It's going to be forty-one degrees outside. If you run around in your parka, people will recognize you.

Chill out, Scarlet. I'm an evil mastermind; I'm not stupid enough to get spotted.

Barry had deliberately refrained for saying "cold" in any way, shape, or form in his message, but he knew Snart would show no such restraint. Are you though? Evil?

Let's call me Chaotic Neutral. I'm a fan of doing whatever I feel like doing.

That was a damn geeky reference, but Barry wasn't surprised that a man who liked to plan things out in detail would have experience with a game played with maps and figures and carefully constructed characters. Of course, Barry saw Captain Cold as more of a Dungeon Master than a player. He would not want to play a Cold campaign.

Tell me something I don't know.

You look good in that skintight suit.

The room was suddenly stifling. That was outright flirting. After Barry established that Snart didn't need to. And after Snart said he wouldn't lie without good reason. Barry suddenly wanted to wear his suit to meet with Cold, which was stupid, because it was likely their conversation would be overheard on the comms. And stupid because he couldn't be getting so invested in this.

A crush was bad enough; Barry couldn't let this evolve further into an infatuation or worse, falling in love with Captain Cold. That wasn't acceptable. That would be a disaster.

His phone buzzed. See you tonight, Barry.

Barry couldn't wait, his chest light and stomach warm. He was so fucked.

(-)

Fun fun fun. Let me know if you're having fun too. I know a lot of this is them texting, but it's not like Barry is suddenly going to spend all his time with Len without any set-up. That giddy feeling from texting his crush is interspersed with darker feelings, given their history and everything Barry is trying to avoid.