Chapter One.

Notes: All mistakes our mine. I'm posting this without a beta and it may go from one tense to another, so sorry. Also, the note at the last chapter still rings true about Bella's power. She absorbs other powers.

I stumbled up to my room around three in the morning. I lingered at Jasper's door longer than I should've before I kept walking past it, to my bedroom.

I called the room mine but it was still Edward's. I hadn't moved a thing since he died and still refused to. Esme was constantly persisting that I make the room my own but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Jasper had done the opposite. His room was torn apart after Alice died. He pulled things off the walls and burned her clothes. Anything that made him think of her, he destroyed. I suspected that's why he hated me so much. I was so connected to Alice, she was my best friend, and he had to see me constantly. I reminded him of his loss.

I paused at the shelfs that were lined with cds. My fingers caught dust as they roamed the cds'spines. Finally I found what I was looking for and pulled it out of the lineup.

I placed it in the nearby cd player and let it waft over me as I collapse to the carpet. Debussy always made me think of the better times with Edward.

I thought of biology class. The first time wasn't the best memory, remembering his hateful glare but it still warmed my unbeating heart to think about what it became. It became him and me.

I thought of our wedding. It was highly overdone, thanks to Alice. She had covered the small church with dozens of dozens of yellow roses and put lace on everything. The whole church was white and pale yellow. It was beautiful and I apprieciate that I went through with it even more now that he was gone. I'm glad I had the memory.

The night I was changed was a memory that held lots of pain, but only physical. Inside, I was absolutely estatic. Edward had been by my side the whole time until my heart finally stopped and my life began.

We were together all the time after that. The worries I had that he would no longer like me after the transformation disappeared in a day or two. I didn't feel different and he didn't seem to notice. We went on as we always had.

What would've been my 21st birthday was spent with him in France. We roamed the city and even though he'd been there countless times before, he wondered with me like a tourist.

We moved to Montana about a year after that. The whole family had left Forks since it was getting notice that none of us were showing signs of getting older.

Emmett and Rosalie got married, again. We were happy and we were together and it was going fine for twenty years.

Then Lucas came to town. Him and his clan of four had come into town intending to find more food. We stood our ground and Carlisle tried to reason with them but they wouldn't back down. We had no choice but to fight.

The sound of the song coming to an end is ominious as my memory retells the moment of his death. Edward's eyes had flickered to mine as he died. The pain of that look haunts me most days; and today was no different.

I spend most of my days thinking about and reliving that moment.

I had fallen to my knees right there next to him and I only heard the crack of Alice's bones begin separated from her body. I only heard the yell of pain, physical pain, that Jasper had let out.

My eyes were too busy glued to the sight of my dead lover.

The image was still in my head now. I don't think it'll ever leave it's spot in the back of my mind.

I'm still laying on my spot on the floor when I hear Jasper's voice for the first time since that strangled yell.

It came from my doorway, quiet and pained, "Bella."

My head whips to the sound and I hear the crack of my neck in protest of the movement. He's leaning against the door frame, looking right at me and I know something's wrong.

"Jasper?" I'm up and walking to him before the wave of panic spreads through me. His panic becomes mine as his power suddenly becomes mine too.

He closes his eyes, seemingly in anguish. I put my hand on his shoulder as I reach him but he flinches so I remove it quickly.

"Jasper, what's wrong?"

His eyes don't open but he responds softly, "I killed her."

I'm at a loss. Confused I ask for more details, "Killed who?"

He shrugs with a laugh that is more like an outtake of breath, "I don't know."

I still don't understand, "What? Jasper, I don't understand."

He opens his eyes then, "When I went hunting. I killed her."

I search his eyes for the trace of red that would no doubt be in his eyes.

He's eyes pin mine as he continues, "I was walking through the woods and I smelt her. She smelt just like you used to. I followed her and I killed her."

I can't help but let out a soft gasp.

"I killed her and left her. I didn't even drink from her. I felt bad enough for what I did."

My eyes narrowed, "Did you kill her because of the smell or because you were imagining me as you did it?"

He didn't answer.

"Answer me!"

"Does it matter?" he evaded.

"Of course it matters! If you blame me enough that you want me dead then let's do it. Right now. Kill me."

He shook his head, "You're not worth it."

On instinct, my palm slapped him against the cheek with so much force my hand stung.

His head didn't even move but I could see the hurt of the action itself in his eyes.

"I'm not the reason they're gone!"

He shakes his head but says nothing.

"If you need someone to blame, then blame Lucas. His hands were the ones that killed them."

"If you just had-"

"NO!" I roared. "If's are not apart of what you can hold me accountable for! If I had never been changed, would you still have been in this situation? If you hadn't of forced Edward to leave because of almost killing me on my seventeenth birthday, would we still be here at this exact moment? If you had been next to her in the fight, would you have saved her?"

And then I'm on the ground next to the wall. He had pushed me away from him, sending me back into the wall behind me.

The sound of the wood splintering under me echoed through the house.

I'm up on my feet in no time but this time, there is more than Jasper in my doorway.

Carlisle looks in and casts a glance to Jasper, "Let's go into your room, Jasper."

Jasper ignores him and sends me a look that surely could've sent me into hysterics as a human.

But Jasper doesn't scare me anymore, "No, Carlisle. If he has something to say, then let's hear it."

Jasper doesn't hesitate, "You're the reason they're dead. Or at least why she is. If you had just turned away from him, you could've saved her. She was right behind you! You could've saved her!"

"And you think I wouldn't have if I had known she was there?"

"No."

I head for Jasper but suddenly Emmett is through the door and pushing me back, "It's not worth it."

"Oh, it's so worth it." The look I send Jasper makes him advance towards me as well but Carlisle pushes him out the door and then it's shut.

Emmett forces me back to the couch and I'm sitting against my will.

Emmett shakes his head, "Honestly Bella, he finally talks for the first time in three years and it turns into this? You're still a disaster waiting to happen. Destruction is like your forté."

I ignore him, "Do think it's my fault as well?"

"Of course not."

"But you pity him?"

"I can see where it's coming from, that's different. If I lost Rosalie, then I would be reckless, unconsolable, and I would be itching for a fight. I don't think it's you that he's mad at. I think it's himself but you're the easiest target for blame."

I looked at him curiously, "Since when did you become wise and unsightful?"

The laugh that I missed so much made a reappearence, "It's always been here. I just rather look at the world in a more innocent way. It's a lot more fun."

I sighed and he took a glance at me, "Well, my job is done. You're calm and Esme is downstairs waiting for me. We're moving again."

"I figured it would happen soon. Carlisle is just too good looking for his own good."

Emmett rolled his eyes and stood.

"Tell Esme I'll start packing my stuff awhile and then I'll start on the living room."

He nodded and made his way to the door but before he left he turned back and said, "Keep out of trouble."

I smirked, "I'll try but I have this sneaking suspicion that it follows me."

He smiled at that and was out the door.

I fell back on the couch and put my arms over my eyes.

The door opened again and I couldn't bring myself to care enough to look up to see who it is.

"Bella?"

I look up at Carlisle's voice, I wasn't expecting it to be him. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I guess. I shouldn't have lost it like that, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I just wanted to warn you that Jasper is still livid, so I would avoid him at any cost. We don't want this to escilate any further."

I nod in agreement.

He looks at the room around me once before shutting the door firmly behind him.

I rise then, moving to pull boxes out of my closet and begin to pile everything in. Cds, clothes, pictures, whatever is just shoved in the box with no real order; I don't particularly want to linger on this that aren't rightfully my own. Things that are ours.

I begin pulling things out of the drawers and seperating the contents of papers into a pile of trash. I throw away an old notebook paper but stop at what's under it. There's a picture of Alice and Jasper that looks fairly old. It's weathered edges show it's age and I carefully flip it over.

Alice and Jasper, 1968 stares back in Alice's perfect handwriting.

I pull it over to look at the picture once more. Alice's smile is overwhelming she looks so happy and Jasper is clearly trying to smother the smile that is about to break out.

I sigh.

I put in on my bed as I close up the one box that holds all my clothes and random books. I carry the box with one hand and the picture with another.

As I walk past Jasper's room, I slip the picture under the door silently and walk to the living room where there are already boxes stacked. I add to it and when I turn to walk back upstairs, Jasper is blocking my path.

He's holding the picture up to my face and is not but two inches from me. His fury overtakes me and I brace myself for the impact.

"What is this?!"

I give him a nonchalant look, "I just found it in the room, I thought you would want it."

And I'm lifted off my feet and pushed into the wall behind me. It doesn't really effect me since I don't have to breathe anyway but instinct takes over and I attempt to fight back.

"Get off of me!"

He ignores me, "You really are just trying to torture me aren't you? Do you have any respect for me at all? After all I've done to get her out of my head, you go and do this."

I get enough strength to push him off of me and he's surprised so it forces him to stumble over the couch. He's up on his feet again in an a second but it's enough time for Emmett to get a hold of Jasper's arm and pull him back.

The only thing on my mind right now is Jasper's fury turning into mine and I advance but Carlisle suddenly there, mimicing Emmett but on me instead.

Rosalie and Esme aren't slow to follow as they take notice of the look in Jasper's eyes. The look that is being mirrored in mine.

Esme and Carlisle held me back as Emmett and Rosalie held Jasper.

I let out a snarl and thrashed at the hands that were now restraints. Jasper hissed back, crouching even despite Emmett's steel grip on his chest.

I broke free of Esme's grasp and Carlisle couldn't hold me himself so I sprang in the direction of Jasper.

Rosalie, on instinct, jumped out of my way and Jasper broke free of Emmett.

The sound of mine and Jasper's collision shook the house.