"I am severely uncomfortable with this plan."
Uther Pendragon, in the guise of his nemesis and rival lord, Gorlois didn't seem inclined to take her comments seriously. He seemed very preoccupied with battle preparations as well as his plan for after the capture of Gorlois and the ensuing sexual celebrations.
And true, she was bringing this up a little last minute, as they were on the field marching into battle to face the other horde of horses and metal swords and pitchforks but he hadn't exactly given her a chance to speak her mind before this point.
Maybe it was because Lily was only twelve and had yet to go through puberty but she failed to see any of the logic behind this or why she even needed to be involved at all.
"You shall be rewarded for this, lad." He also apparently thought she was a man.
"Right, just, couldn't you find someone else to help you…" There really was no polite way to talk about Uther's plan. At least, Lily couldn't think of one, perhaps 'release your passion' but even that was very uncomfortable.
The man smirked at her, eyebrows raised, "Have tales not been told of your prowess across the land? Tell me, lad, what sorcerer is more powerful than you?"
Well, when he put it like that, no there wasn't. In Lily's sporadic wandering she'd noticed that the wizards were much less organized than they had been by the 1980's. Olivanders was up and running, but appeared to only sell to very exclusive groups and was ridiculously difficult to find. As for normal witches and wizards most of them were capable of cheap parlor tricks or else they were aging druids living in the forest lamenting about the Romans and this new thing called Christianity that was sweeping the nation.
Point being Lily didn't exactly have a scapegoat she could point to.
She hesitated, searching her mind for anything, and then all at once it hit her. That book, the book she'd only skimmed, the Merlin book, "Merlin."
She didn't know for sure if he was alive or around but considering that he was Wizarding Britain's version of Elvis she was pretty sure that someone in Uther's position would buy him being around or else abducted by aliens if she said it.
"There's this guy, Merlin, really powerful. The most wizardly wizard of all, more so than Gandalf, and that's saying a lot." Lily said before adding, "Totally suited for the job of helping you seduce the stunningly gorgeous Mrs. Gorlois."
Uther simply stared at her for a moment, in silence, his fellow noblemen muttering at the sight of her but not daring to say anything aloud (Lily had learned that the good lord Uther was quite terrifying and not someone you openly questioned ever).
"I have never heard of this man Merlin." Uther said, a furrow in his brow, but seemed to brush it off without difficulty, "Regardless, I have found my own wizard. For all it matters to me, lad, you are this Merlin."
She felt something in her stomach plummet.
Then he was riding off ahead with his knights, leaving Lily behind in the dust with the peasantry, staring after him and wondering how keeping her head down and not altering the past had somehow turned into this whole mess.
"Stay calm, Lily, you can't do anything to him. Just play it cool, let him have his fun, and then walk away and try to be less ostentatious about the leper thing. Maybe just write plays instead, or something." Her own pep talk wasn't working as, staring after the man, listening to the bellow of the trumpets then the screaming, she just felt herself getting more and more out of sorts.
War, it turned out, involved a lot of severed limbs, decapitation, and having the blood of your comrades spurt onto you and soak your clothing. Lily, it turned out, didn't really like being covered in blood. Even Wizard Lenin, for all his blood based propaganda, hated the feeling of blood soaking through his clothing like ridiculously salty kool-aid.
"This is worse than Potions." She finally said in stunned amazement as another man next to her was butchered, "This is worse than Double Potions."
The field was swiftly painted red, as if it was a meadow filled with hundreds of thousands of poppies, and the clash of steel was almost overwhelming.
She took one overall look at the horror and chaos that was before her, the stench of death and disease in the air, and announced to anyone that would listen, "That's it, I don't care anymore. Lily out."
With a loud crack she teleported to the front of the battle, beside the two Gorlois fighting it out, the Uther version with a bloodthirsty grin, which was all well and good for the blood splattered across his gleaming armor, and the real Gorlois who looked both enraged, terrified, and horrifically confused.
"Look, your highness, I really think you should go find this Merlin guy instead." Lily said over the clang of swords and the screams of the horses, "I've heard great reviews about the guy and I think he's exactly the sort of person you're looking for."
Uther gave no response, simply continued to hack away at Gorlois, so with the feeling that this was all in vain Lily opened her book and began reading, "The greatest wizard of the early modern magical age. See, that's what they call him. The father of wizardry in Britain, I don't know about you but that sounds both important and powerful."
Gorlois glanced at her in disbelief, at least, she assumed it was Gorlois but it was getting a little difficult to tell. She just had the feeling that Uther never glanced at anyone in disbelief and if he did it was that they dared to question his judgement.
"Also, you know, he's older and a man and probably understands why you really want to have sex with this guy's wife way more than I do. I mean, I vaguely understand, but it's vague understanding and I think we both deserve better than that."
Unfortunately for Gorlois this appeared to distract him enough for Uther to cut off his head. The body slumped to its knees then fell forward, blood spilling onto the grass, and his head rolled towards Lily's feet where it stared up at her with quickly glazing eyes.
"Holy shit." Lily summarized.
Uther turned slowly towards her, not bothering to wipe his blade, "You chatter far too freely, young Merlin."
Lily held up a hand in protest, "Not Merlin."
"Until you produce this other Merlin you speak of so fondly I will refer to you as such." Uther smiled at her, a cold stark thing, and then began to walk away towards the dwindling battle, "Oh, and Merlin, I'll have you know that I am quite satisfied with your performance thus far but I will expect better in the future."
"Oh, great, that's excellent." Lily said with the least amount of enthusiasm she had ever felt in her life since things were apparently spiraling far beyond her control.
There was just something about watching him walk away into the blood and the carnage, so assured in his victory and her own willingness to follow him, that she just couldn't handle and didn't even want to handle.
Like she was something so absurdly insignificant that she might as well be one of those helpless severed arms littering the grassy plain.
"Uther Pendragon!" She shouted after him, but he didn't stop, didn't even twitch, and as she continued her voice took on the commanding tone of a prophet who promised death to those who dared not to listen, "You'll have your moment of glory, your victory, your beer and ale, your hard won seduction. But on my word as the being of ultimate destruction, you will never be king of England!"
Finally he turned, looked at her with her ragged sweater, her small pale fingers, and her ridiculously large red hair, and he laughed. He looked at all he thought he saw inside of her and he was in hysterics.
And Lily, for her own part, just stood in silence and without a word teleported far away leaving him to Gorlois' wife and his momentary glory.
Author's Note: Next up, the lady in the lake and a glowing mystical sword.
Thanks to readers and reviewers, you guys are great. Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter