Ok, I must admit I always found it a little odd when other writers gushed over the reviews received. But then I couldn't help but smile when I read the reviews I received for my first chapter. Thank you everyone.
I don't own them, because I am pretty sure that would be considered slavery…
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Beckett strolled into the twelfth precinct around six o'clock the next morning. Normally she would've had the place to herself for at least another hour or so; she preferred it that way. If they had an active case she would normally review the murder board with fresh eyes and without distraction from her team. Or if paperwork was on tap for the day she would take advantage of the fact that her shadow was not yet sitting in his chair just staring at her; she still found that creepy.
Today however was different. The bullpen was bustling with activity even at this early hour. There were two reasons for this change. The first was because it was Good Friday and many of the detectives wanted to get an early jump start on the holiday weekend with their families. However, a totally different reason had Ryan and Esposito up before the sun this morning. Due to the buzz surrounding the gala, as Castle was calling it, Captain Montgomery had ordered Beckett and her team to be out of his sight by noon today. He promised if a body dropped, no matter how freaky the circumstance, the case would go to Karpowski's team.
Beckett was glad to have been given the extra time off to prepare for the evening. Partly because she hadn't yet decided which of the three dresses Castle had delivered to her apartment this week, she was going to wear. But mostly because she needed time to figure out how she was going to go about telling Castle how she felt about him. And, since it would be at least three hours before her partner would roll in, she decided now would be the best time to visit the morgue. Beckett walked over to greet the guys on her way to see Lanie.
"Good morning gentlemen, how are we this morning?"
Always the chipper one, Ryan smiled, "Doing great boss. How about you? Are you ready for tonight's festivities? Jenny and I are looking forward to partying Castle style."
Kate rolled her eyes and nodded toward Esposito who had his head resting on his desk, "What's with him?" she asked as she kicked his chair.
Startling to awareness and assuming that the kick came from Ryan, Esposito whined. "Ah come on bro, that wasn't nice. You know Lanie had me up half the night…" His words trailed off as he realized the interruption in his sleep had come from his boss who was now looking at him with an arched eyebrow. "Sorry, I thought Ryan….. Oh never mind. Good morning Beckett." He managed to say as he glared at his partner for not warning him to her arrival.
Beckett smirked with disapproval, "I don't think Lanie would appreciate your willingness to kiss and tell."
"What?" Esposito looked confused, "Oh, I wish that was why she kept me up." His eyes lit up at the thought, but then his brow furrowed a bit. "It took her half the night and at least ten wardrobe changes to decide what she's going to wear to the fundraiser tonight. She had to make sure that she chose something that coordinated with my tux." He sighed in frustration, "Women."
"Hey, watch it, there is a woman standing right in front of you. A woman with a weapon, I might add." Beckett joked.
"Speaking of, why is it that chics have to get ready for these things in groups? Lanie said she's spending the afternoon at your place getting all dolled up." Ryan nodded in agreement to Esposito's question.
Beckett chuckled, "It's not so much about the getting ready. It's so we can talk about boys." With that she sauntered away and hollered back over her shoulder, "Speaking of, if you need me, I'll be in the morgue."
The two detectives smiled as they watched her leave the bullpen. "She seems almost chipper this morning." Ryan remarked as they shrugged at each other.
Behind them they heard the elevator ding and they swiveled around just in time to see Castle making his way to Beckett's desk. He was carrying his signature two cups of coffee and a white pastry bag. The boys could only assume that it contained Beckett's usual.
"Hey Castle, you're up early. Puts a damper on my theory that you're solar powered." As he finished the jab Esposito held his hand out for Ryan to feed the birds and his partner didn't leave him hanging.
"Funny" Castle was a surprisingly serious. "Where's Beckett?"
"She went to see Lanie and since we don't have an active case, I assume they are indulging in some girl talk." Ryan gave the quote sign with his hands as he slowly annunciated the last two words of his sentence.
Castle seemed to perk up a bit, "So, are you guys ready for the party of the year?"
"Oh yeah, you know how to throw a party dude! And thanks to you, I get to spend the evening with my woman and not have to blow a bundle doing it." Esposito joked.
" Jenny and I are looking forward to checking out the deejay to see if we should use him for the wedding."
"Everything I do, I do it for you." Castle said sarcastically. "Anyway, I can't stay long. I have a lot of last minute details to attend to. I just wanted to let you know that I'm arranging to have a car service pick you all up. I just need to know whose place to send them to for you and Lanie." Castle nodded towards Esposito.
"Neither, I've been instructed to pick Lanie up at Beckett's place. They're having a girl's afternoon." Esposito rolled his eyes.
Castle seemed to go somewhere far away as he spoke, "Well then, I guess I will send two cars to her place then; one for you and Lanie and one for Becket and Dr. Motorcycle Boy."
Ryan and Esposito both registered the look on Castle's face as he referred to Beckett's boyfriend. The pair had noticed that look a lot recently. They didn't know what, but something had transpired between their boss and the writer during the bombing case they'd worked with Agent Fallon. The subtle changes in their demeanors when they were together didn't go unnoticed by the pair of seasoned detectives. The fact that Castle had been around less since that case didn't go unnoticed either. But when questioned, both Beckett and Castle had claimed he was just busy with party planning.
Seeing the sadness in their friend's eyes again, Esposito couldn't help but try to comfort him. "Hey Castle, you know he's just a temporary distraction. She'll come around bro."
Castle just swallowed hard and managed a half smile. "See you tonight guys." Castle walked past them and headed towards the morgue.
"Dude, what was that? Lanie really is rubbing off on you!" Ryan punched his partner in the arm as he asked the question.
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"Hey girl" Lanie recognized the sound of Beckett's heels as she entered the morgue. She turned with a wide grin, but it quickly faded when she saw the look on Beckett's face. "Spill it now and get it over with. I am not letting you ruin my day with your drama."
Kate wasn't sure how to begin so she just got to it. "I have a feeling that my news might just make your day actually. I broke up with Josh last night."
Lanie squealed like a teenager at the news, but quickly tried to look somber for her friend. "I'm sorry Kate. I know how much you liked him."
"Oh Lanie, don't lie on my account. I know you never liked that fact that I was dating him. Plus, that's not really what I came to talk about." Kate paused not sure how to continue. "I think I am finally ready to admit what you and everyone else have been telling me for the past two years."
Lanie cracked one of her megawatt smiles but held back the urge to say I told you so. "OK, explain yourself young lady. Are you telling me that you finally came to your senses and broke up with Josh for Castle?"
Kate was slightly surprised at Lanie's self control. She half expected her to do a little happy dance right there among the dead bodies. "No… well… yes? Lanie it isn't really that simple. It's more like I finally removed the last obstacle between myself and the future I just realized I want."
"Huh?"
Kate struggled to explain. "I think I've known for awhile that I'm in love with Castle. I just wasn't ready to admit that I needed anyone, much less him. I've never pictured myself as the type to need a man to make me happy. I've never dreamed of being swept off my feet by a knight in shining armor. Never wanted the white picket fence, two-point-five kids and the dog in the yard."
"And now?" Lanie asked but the question fell on deaf ears. Kate was so lost in her own thoughts, so Lanie just let her continue.
"You know I always felt that I would let my mom down if I didn't bring her killer to justice. Everything I've done in my adult life has been in direct response to that fear. I became a cop, a homicide detective. I devoted my free time to it. I've only entered into relationships that could never amount to anything because I pick men that never mean enough to distract me from solving her case. I put up walls to keep anyone and anything out because I never wanted anything to mean as much to me as she does." Kate kept her eyes on her feet so Lanie couldn't see the shame she felt.
Lanie just repeated the same question she asked previously, "And now?"
Kate's chin quivered and her eyes filled with tears. "Last night I realized that I've already let her down. I let her down every day I spend denying my own heart, every day I spend focusing on the past instead of building a future. Every day that I ignore the one thing she wanted most for me; happiness." Kate breathed in a few ragged breaths trying to maintain her composure. "All she ever wanted for me was to be happy. Why couldn't I just give her that one thing?" She was now crying uncontrollably on Lanie's shoulder.
After a few minutes Lanie spoke and she pulled no punches. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Listen to me girl, I never met your mother but I have a feeling she would be the proudest mother on earth if she were here today. She raised a beautiful, intelligent, caring, compassionate and successful daughter. Her need to see you happy wasn't about pride. It was about love, plain and simple. She wanted for you what she had because of you. Her family was her happiness."
Kate took Lanie's words to heart. She stood up straight and took in a deep breath. "Okay Teacher, now how do you suggest I go about claiming this happiness?"
"Simple Grasshopper, I suggest you just go get'em!"
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"Hey, where's the fire?" Ryan asked Castle as he ran and sat in the chair adjacent to Beckett's desk.
Castle didn't respond. In his head he was replaying the conversation he'd just overheard in the morgue.
White Picket Fences
Two-point-five kids
Knight in shining armor
Love
Castle
The words became a jumbled mess in his reeling mind. His heart was pounding in his chest and it wasn't because of the sprint he'd just done to beat Beckett back to the bullpen. He hadn't intended on eavesdropping, but as he was approaching the door to the morgue he'd heard a loud squeal. He thought Lanie was hurt so he ran to the entrance but was stopped in his tracks. He heard Kate confessing her feelings for him. For a few seconds the earth stood still. He was surprised he was able to stay upright as his equilibrium failed him momentarily. Once he came back down to earth he listened to her pour her heart out. It pained him to know that he had been the source of such trepidation for her, but his stomach did a flip when the word love crossed those beautiful lips. And to know she was referring to him made it all the more heavenly. He fully understood her hesitation to place her happiness in his hands. His track record with women was less than stellar. But he knew that with her it would be different. He knew that to her he would stick. With her forever meant forever.
Castle couldn't stand outside the morgue any longer. His exuberance would've eventually given him away to the women on the other side of the door. Instead he decided he would wait for Kate at her desk. He had no intention of letting on to what he'd overheard. He was not going to push her. He was going to let her do this her way. However, that didn't do anything to diminish his desire to take her in his arms and, well… just take her. But no, he definitely wouldn't push; nudge maybe, but not push. He let his imagination run wild as he thought about all the ways he might nudge her. Just moments after Castle sat down, Beckett returned to the bullpen, but he'd gotten so lost in his musings that he was unaware of her approach.
Beckett noticed Castle the instant she entered the bullpen. At the sight of him her heart skipped a beat and she missed a step. Thank goodness his back was too her or he would have been able to read her expression in an heartbeat. Of that she was sure. Castle had proven his ability to read her like one of his books soon after they first met, and he'd been honing that skill every day since. He practically had it down to a science. As much as she wanted to admit her feelings to him, she wanted to do this right, nd here in the middle of the precinct was definitely not right.
As she rounded the corner of her desk she saw the odd faraway look on Castle's face. She sat down and began to drink her coffee. It wasn't until she rustled the white bag containing her beloved pastry that he snapped out of it.
Castle looked over at her staring at him, "What?"
"Nothing, I'm just surprised to see you here this early."
"Well actually I can't stay long. I have a lot of last minute details to take care of for tonight." He saw the slight downturn at the corners of her mouth as she tried not to frown. He didn't let on. "But, I had to fulfill my morning responsibility."
"Oh yeah, thanks"
'Whoa, she is off her game' Castle thought to himself. He'd just insinuated that she was his responsibility and all she said was thank you? Normally she would have threatened to shoot him. Oh boy, this was going to be fun. But not wanting to overdo it he just said, "You're more than welcome. Hey, I was just telling the guys that I'm arranging a car service to pick everyone up. Since Esposito is meeting Lanie at your place do you want a separate car for you and Dr. Motorcycle Boy, or would a limo for four be better?" He waited with baited breath for her reply.
'Whew, here goes' Kate thought. "Well actually Castle, my plans have changed. I'm no longer a plus one."
"Oh, is Dr Motorcycle Boy on call tonight?" He couldn't help himself.
"He might be, but that's not the reason I am single tonight." She hoped he wouldn't make her say more.
Knowing she didn't want to have to explain herself, and him not needing more clarification, Castle plugged along. "Well then a limo it is, I'll pick you up at five thirty. Oh, and the blue dress goes better with my tux and my eyes."
"No Castle, I didn't mean that you needed to change your plans because of me. I'm sure you have a date for tonight." Kate felt sick to her stomach. She hadn't even considered the thought of him bringing a date until this moment.
"Two actually."
"What?" Her heart sank at his insinuation.
"Yeah, two beautiful redheads with porcelain skin and crystal clear blue eyes. But I'm beginning to think they're only interested in me for my money." Castle chuckled as he saw the understanding seep into her brain. "Really, I've been too busy planning this event to even think about taking someone with me. I just figured I would escort Mother and Alexis. But now, I think it's only appropriate that the host escort the guest of honor, don't you?"
"I'm not the guest of honor, technically my mom is, or should've been." Kate's voice contained a bit of melancholy at the thought.
"Then I guess I will just have to settle for the next best thing." At that Castle jumped up, "I'm off to put the finishing touches on the night of your dreams." He didn't dare look down at her. He knew she would be blushing. He just leaned down and with his lips almost touching her ear he whispered softly, "Until tonight Detective Beckett."
"Can't you just say, 'see you later'?" They'd had a variation of this conversation many times.
"Until tonight just sounds more hopeful."
Kate sat in silence, her mind reeled and her neck tingled in the spot where his breath had warmed it. Until tonight; she could hardly wait. She rolled her eyes at herself. "When did I become such a girl?" But she knew when, she knew exactly when.