EPISODE 2-2
"So THIS is Rogueport… ah ha ha ha ha… it looks exactly as I had pictured it."
Dimentio hovered above the heads of the others, scanning the streets of Rogueport carefully, looking for something the others couldn't see. After examining the scenery of Rogueport Square, he came to rest on the ground next to his companions.
"What were you looking for?" asked Mr. L.
"I was simply getting a feel for the lay of the land," Dimentio answered offhandedly. "It pays to know where you are, wherever that may be. Isn't that so?"
Mr. L shrugged. "I guess," he said.
"Great. Fine." Tippi said quickly. "Why don't you go be creepy somewhere else?"
Dimentio snapped his fingers. "Now that, sounds like a good plan." He looked up at the others. "Where do you intend to start?"
"Nastasia gave me this folder," said Mimi, holding up a big manilla file folder. "She said the Count's instructions are in here." She opened it up and began to scan through the papers inside.
"So?" said Mr. L. "What's it say?"
Mimi showed him the contents of the folder. "I can't read his handwriting," she explained.
Mr L's eyes bugged out when he saw the paper inside. "Yikes," he said. "I wonder what a handwriting analyst would have to say about that."
"I can read Blumiere's handwriting just fine," Tippi interrupted. She fluttered down and peered over Mr L's shoulder. Then she carefully scanned the page.
"Got it," she said when she was finished. "He wants you two to diffuse the situation by convincing the two… groups… to refocus their attention on something… less negative…"
"What?"
"Please don't make me read it exactly."
"Okay," said Mimi. "Just explain to us what we need to do."
Gus the gate guard was busy keeping folks out of the east side of Rogueport. It was his job to stand in front of the doorway that lead to the Robbo's territory and not let anybody else in, unless they paid him the toll. It was a great job for him, as he got to hang around and do a whole lot of nothing, collect money, and, most importantly, have the opportunity to show everybody just how tough he really was. Looking tough was important to a rough street punk like Gus.
So when he saw two strange creatures, the likes of which were unknown to him (but known to us as Mimi and O'Chunks) he held up his Craw's spear and prepared the toughest parts of his vocabulary for imminent use.
"Hey, hey!" he shouted to them as soon as it was clear that they intended to pass. "This part of town is the Robbo's territory! If you want to get in, you've gotta pay the toll!"
"Oh, so that's what a Robbo is," Mimi said. "Okay, I can totally picture that."
O'Chunks gestured for Gus to move aside. "Step aside, ya wee little birdie. We 'ave business teh take care of."
"If you got real business on this side of town, I'd know about it!" Gus pointed his spear at them. "So don't even think about trying to lie to me. If you wanna get past me, it'll cost you ten coins."
"I ehn't payin' teh pass through 'ere," O'Chunks said, turning on his intimidation full force.
Gus sneered. "Then ya 'ehn't' passing."
"Oh, I'm passin' by, all right," said O'Chunks. "In fact, yer gonna step aside and let us through right now or be slapped down like a side of mutton!"
"Whatever that means…"
"You don't want to mess with me, pal," Gus snarled. "I'll mess you up so bad your girlfriend here won't be able to pick up the pieces!"
"Girlfriend!" Mimi shouted indignantly.
"Ooh, now yeh've done it," O'Chunks said. "Yeh've just earned yerself a right proper chunking!"
"Chunk him a good one, O'Chunks!" Mimi cried out happily. "Mimimimimimi!"
Gus made the first move and drove his spear towards O'Chunks. O'Chunks pulled his fist back and slapped the spear away from him easily. It snapped directly in half, and the pointed end lolled harmlessly to the side.
"Whatever, man," said Gus, tossing the spear aside. "Like I really need that thing to whup yer sorry hide. All that means is now we're gonna get up close and personal."
"HARBLE-DEH!" O'Chunks struck a pose.
"Oh… kay." Gus scratched the back of his head. "I'm not… entirely sure what I just heard… But if you're trying to psych me, it isn't gonna work!"
Gus made his move to attack. He leapt up to strike O'Chunks in the head. O'Chunks saw his move, and ducked down. Not only did he dodge the attack, he was able to grab Gus by the ankles, spin him around once, and toss him across the street.
He made sure to strake another pose after he did it, too.
"That'll teach yeh teh mess wit' O'Chunks!" he called.
Gus, who was lying on his back in the street, covered his face with his arms and groaned inwardly.
"Ishnail's gonna be sooooo annoyed with me," he grumbled.
Mimi, meanwhile, had taken the opportunity to practice her shape shifting and had turned herself into a craw that looked similar to, though not exactly like Gus. She adjusted her bandanna and checked her reflection in a mystery puddle in the gutter.
"Not bad," she said. "I think it looks pretty cute, actually."
"Izzat you, Mimi?" O'Chunks hadn't noticed her transform. "If yeh hadn't just said that, I'da bet me beard yeh were another one o' those Robbos."
"Is it really that good?" Mimi asked with a giggle.
"Aye, yeh look like one," O'Chunks said, "but yeh certainly don't sound like one. Yeh have to talk like yer tough. Like I do."
"Um… tee hee… okay…" Mimi cleared her throat. "Um… Arr! We be a couple o' tough guys lookin' fer a spot o' trouble!" She looked up at O'Chunks. "How was that?"
"That was…" O'Chunks stopped himself just in time. Then he said, "Maybe yeh'd best let me do the talkin', though."
"I think that would be best," Mimi agreed. She giggled again.
Meanwhile, across town, Mr. L and Tippi were attempting to find the Pianta syndicate. The closest they'd come, however, was the Pianta parlor. It was packed with the usual kind of crowd- the west side of Rogueport was the nicer part of town, but it was still Rogueport after all. So it was packed with people who had money to blow on the slot machines and other games provided. The Kitty Boo was hovering behind her counter, protected by iron bars. It was that kind of place.
"My bro is like this with the Pianta guys," said Mr. L to Tippi, holding up his fingers crossed. "He helped the family out of a jam a few times and now they're, like, lifelong pals or something. I sent him an e-mail asking for advice, and he should be e-mailing us back any second."
"In the meantime," said Tippi, "what do you suggest we do?"
Mr. L shrugged. "I don't know. Play the slots?"
"I don't gamble."
"Yeah, me neither. Although Grate Guy's Casino is pretty nice. Quiet, though."
"What?"
"Never mind. Isn't Dimentio supposed to be with us?"
"Would you really be happier if he was?"
"No, not really."
Mr. L put his hands behind his back and leaned against the wall. Tippi sighed and came to rest on the tip of his hat. Nobody seemed to care that they were loitering in the corner, so it was no problem to take a welcome break.
Suddenly, Mr. L's pocket started buzzing.
"That'll be him," said Mr. L, pulling out his Mailbox SP. He flipped it open and scanned the screen.
"What's it say?" asked Tippi, leaning over to see the screen.
Mr. L held up the screen to show her. "This is what he said he did last time to get access to Don Pianta. He had to pay for the information. Also, he said to make sure to tell 'em Mario sent us, 'cause they're still close. We even got a Christmas card from them last year."
"The mafia sent you a Christmas card?" Tippi said with disbelief.
"My bro gets a lot of weird cards around the holidays," Mr. L explained. "From people he meets on his adventures. Beanbean Kingdom, Nimbus Land, Vanilla Dome… Incidentally, do you know what a 'jawful' is?"
"No," said Tippi. She finished reading the text on the SP. Then, after a moment's thought, she said, "Wait, did you say 'Fawful' or 'jawful'?"
"Jawful," said Mr. L.
"Oh. Yeah, I don't know what a jawful is."
Mr. L closed the SP. "All right," he said. "I think we've got a game plan. What do you think?"
"I guess," said Tippi. "Let's go meet up with the others and tell them what we found."