I was astounded by all of the amazing reviews for the first chapter. So, here is the second chapter! Happy holidays, everyone.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Rogue stepped into the doorway to Sting's office and knocked politely on the open door. He knew his friend had heard him approach long before he actually arrived, but by now announcing his presence was old habit. Most other people couldn't hear his quiet footsteps, and the previous owner of the room had despised Rogue's ability to be unobtrusive almost to the point of nonexistence. Surprising Jiemma had proved hazardous to his health, so Rogue had developed other subtle ways of letting people know he was around (much to his embarrassment and everyone else's relief and amusement, Sting had once forced him to wear a bell for a week).

The current occupant and owner of the room, however, couldn't be anything other than obnoxiously conspicuous. No matter how hard he tried (or so one would assume. Sting had yet to actually make a serious attempt at such a feat). A blonde head emerged from the other side of a stack of papers. (Noise complaints, no doubt.) "Rogue! I need to talk to you about something."

"Obviously." Sting would not have requested his presence over the intercom otherwise.

Sting rolled his eyes at his taciturn friend. "Whatever, just sit your ass down and shut the door."

An unusual request from the blonde. Under normal circumstances, Sting wouldn't tolerate the door being closed. And if anyone shut it without his say-so, he would throw a fit – complete with flailing limbs and caterwauling about imminent suffocation. Whatever Sting wished to discuss must be semi-important to demand the closure of the door. While Rogue did so, Sting casually shoved the paperwork tower off his desk, a soft click accompanying the motion (likely a pen, lost somewhere in the shuffle). Sting watched the documents flutter about with a supremely smug expression.

Rogue eyed the reports as they descended. "You do realize you're going to have to pick them up again, right?"

"Nah, I'll get someone else to do it."

Abuse of power, right there. It was probably going to be left up to Rogue to deal with. Wonderful.

Once he was seated in the chair across from the desk, Rogue inquired, "What did you wish to discuss, Sting?" He would like nothing more than to get this over with as soon as possible. It was only a matter of time until Frosch convinced Orga to perform his newest song for the guild. That had to be prevented at all costs – Rogue's sensitive eardrums wouldn't be able to take another round of that discordant screeching up close and personal. Not twice in the same week.

"What is your opinion on women?" Sting asked without preamble. Or clarification. Or any context at all, really.

The Shadow Dragon Slayer blinked. He had, understandably, not expected that question. "They're fine?" he ventured, confused about where Sting was going with this. And about why the blonde deemed it important.

Sting groaned at him. "No, I mean…" He screwed up his face, trying to think of a better way to phrase his question. "I have a list of women. Can you just tell what you think of each of them?"

Rogue blinked at his friend. "You called me in here to vet your next potential girlfriend? I have better things to do today than be your wingman."

"You're a horrible wingman, anyway, Rogue. No, I want to be your wingman this time. So tell me what you think of these girls!" As Rogue looked like he was about to leave, Sting growled, "This is an order from your Guild Master!"

Begrudgingly, Rogue complied.

"Now then, what do you think of Yukino?"

"Yukino?"

"Yukino."

"You like her. So no, I'm not going to pursue her."

Sting stared at his friend. "Seriously? Because I would be willing to give her up if you were truly interested in her, Rogue. Bro-code, I think Natsu-san called it. You're my friend – I would rather see you happy with the girl of your dreams than be with mine."

Rogue rolled his eyes at Sting. The dense blonde wasn't getting it. "Idiot. I said I wasn't interested. And what makes you assume I wouldn't do the same for you?"

"Don't I get a say in this?" a quiet voice behind Rogue muttered.

Completely not reading the mood, Sting cheered at the arrival of the girl of his dreams. "Yukino! You brought me my snacks!"

The brunette glanced at Yukino briefly, and then he returned to staring at his partner. "Why are you having snacks delivered when you're supposed to be working?"

Raising an eyebrow at his friend, Sting took the tray from the Celestial Mage. "Because I'm hungry, and it's snack-time. Plus, I'm not working right now. I'm eating. And pestering you."

He was struck with the urge to facepalm. "So you've been plotting to do this to me for a while."

"Nope. All of ten minutes, maybe."

"…How long ago did you send Yukino out for snacks?" Rogue was pretty sure he wasn't going to like the answer. But he held onto the hope.

The Sabertooth Guild Master contemplated the question for a moment. "Twenty minutes ago? Does that sound right, Yukino?" At her nod he grinned at the pair. "See? I was already planning to slack off. This just happened to coincide perfectly."

Yukino huffed. "So discussing my assets is a bonus. You do realize that this can be considered sexual harassment, right Sting-sama? Truth be told, I kind of expected this from Sting-sama, but I'm disappointed in you, Rogue-sama. I thought you at least would know better."

Blinking owlishly, Sting craned his head to look up at the woman looming over him. "Actually, we'll be discussing every woman, not just you."

"That's still sexual harassment! On a grander scale, no less!"

Sting shook his head vehemently, holding up his hands to shield himself from Yukino's wrath. "Wait, Yukino! That's not it! I'm doing this as a favor to Mirajane-dono!"

Yukino's mouth shut with a snap, and both guild members stared, dumbfounded at their Guild Master. "-Dono?" Yukino recovered first and asked.

"Yeah, she got an upgrade. I owe her, and she is super freaking scary. Especially when she wants something. So it's Mirajane-dono."

Rogue could find no fault with this logic. "So why are you doing her a favor? And why is a mage from another guild curious about my relationship status?"

"Because she's a matchmaker demon, obviously. And your love life so pitiful even she has noticed. So we're going to find you a girlfriend." Then he paused. "Unless you're into men? In which case, I could introduce you to some nice guys?" he offered. "I don't judge. I just want you to be happy."

"Same here, Rogue-sama," Yukino interjected helpfully.

He groaned. "Please stop right there. I'm not interested in men."

"So then you have no objection to this?"

"I have every objection to this," the Dragon Slayer stated firmly.

"How about," Sting suggested, "I list off a bunch of women, and you tell me what you think. And I'll put all the gay jokes to bed." As soon as the words left his mouth, he grimaced. "Wait, horrible turn-of-phrase. You know what I mean."

Rogue nodded. It was pretty clear that Sting had no intention of letting him leave either way. So he grabbed some of Sting's snacks off the tray, despite the blonde's protests. "If I'm going to endure this farce, I'm at least getting food out of it."

Sting grumbled under his breath. "Fine, then. We'll start with Kagura."

"I'm pretty sure that SHE'S your main rival for Yukino's affections."

"What?!" the Celestial mage yelped in surprise.

"Shit! Dude, I can't compete with that! I mean, she's stacked! And super cool on top of that!"

"I'm not into women!" Yukino protested.

Sting sighed in relief. "What about Milliana?"

"She would probably try to steal Frosch from me. At every available opportunity."

"Beth."

"Who?"

"Risely?"

"Again, who?"

"Arana?"

"Still don't know who you're talking about."

"Do I need to get a visual aid for you or something?"

"That would likely help, yes."

With an annoyed mutter, Sting reached into his desk and pulled out several copies of Sorcerer Weekly.

Rogue pointed at the magazines. "Why are those in your desk?"

"Not important." Flipping through a few issues, the blonde Dragon Slayer paused on the pages detailing the mages who participated in the Grand Magic Games. "Here. This is Beth," he pointed out the Mermaid Heel girl.

The Shadow Dragon Slayer studied the picture for a moment. "She's sixteen? She looks… younger. Too young."

Sting indicated a pair of photographs. "Both of these are Risely."

Rogue looked up at Sting. "She confuses me."

"I hear you." Yukino smacked the Dragon Slayer Duo upside their heads. "Fine, fine! And Arana. She fought that dark-skinned Blue Pegasus guy. She's actually fun to talk to."

"I didn't watch that battle." Rogue paused, and then gave Sting an appraising look. "From what I recall, neither did you. And how do you know her?"

"Moving on!"

"No! No moving on!" Rogue interjected, feeling like Sting was avoiding something. "Answer me!"

Yukino fixed her Guild Master with a hard look. "Yes, Sting-sama. Answer the question."

Sweat poured down the nervous man's face. "Um… I did a lot of networking at the ball? For Sabertooth?"

"Why is that a question?" Rogue asked in suspicion.

Sting coughed. "I need to keep going down the list. What about Sherry?"

Rogue decided to let it go for now. There was a high chance of Yukino doing her own interrogation later, in any event. "She's attached at the hip to that same member of Blue Pegasus, from what I recall."

"Jenny?"

"She IS a member of Blue Pegasus."

Thinking about it for a moment, Sting accepted that reason. "Chelia?"

"I'm not a pedophile, Sting."

"Wendy?"

"Still not a pedophile. That has not changed in the past five seconds."

"Carla?"

"…She's a cat, Sting. She's a cat."

"Hisui?"

"…She's the princess of Fiore. And she made the Eclipse Gate that started the whole Future Rogue and dragon-invasion debacle."

"Okay. What about Erza-san? She's really strong."

"I saw her pull three Exceeds out of her breasts. There are no words to describe how terrifying I find that."

"Gotta ask – Minerva?"

"You're really going to go there? She's a monster, Sting. I'm not getting anywhere near her. Even if we knew where she is. Which we don't."

"Mirajane-dono?"

"…She is literally a she-demon. And she might have a split-personality. No thank you."

"Cana?"

"I'm not interested in women who smell like they've taken a bath in alcohol. Actually, I wouldn't put it past her to do just that."

Yukino nodded her head. "Gildarts would probably kill you, Rogue-sama. So that's a good decision."

"Who's Gildarts?"

"Nevermind. Sting-sama, please continue."

"Wait, who is Gildarts?"

"Good grief. You pay even less attention than I do. Next up. What about Laki?"

Rogue stared at Sting blankly. Sting flipped open an issue of Sorcerer Weekly and pointed her out to the other Dragon Slayer.

"…Yeah, I'm still not sure who that is."

Sting shrugged. "Probably for the better, man. She's really hard to have a conversation with. Tied my brain up in knots trying to figure out what she was saying."

After that statement, Rogue had to admit to himself his mild interest in seeing that happen again and on a semi-regular basis.

"What about Chico?"

"How do you know all these people?"

"Magazines and networking, Rogue. Something you might want to try, you anti-social bastard. Levy?"

"Gajeel-san has already proven that he can kick my ass. I'm not challenging him over a girl. I'm lucky he didn't kill me before, and I'm really not going to test that out again."

"Juvia?"

"She has already found her object of stalking. I would rather not be the new one. Or get into the middle of that weird love-triangle she's in." Rogue paused. "Love-square? Pentagon?" He shook his head. "Either way, I'm not getting involved."

"Evergreen?"

As Rogue appeared to be having a difficult time placing that one, too, Sting pointed her out in the magazine.

"It says she's in a relationship with Elfman, the she-demon's little brother." Rogue's main concern has always been self-preservation.

"Lisanna?"

"She-demon's little sister. Also, she smells like Natsu-san."

"Bisca?"

"…She's married. To a sharpshooter."

"Asuka."

Rogue choked. "What is wrong with you?!"

"I just like pissing you off," Sting admitted freely.

Standing up, Rogue glowered at his friend. "I think I've been accommodating enough. I'm leaving."

"Ah, wait!" Sting called. "Just one more, I promise!"

Rogue sat back down, dreading this already. "Very well. Last one."

"What do you think of Blondie?"

He peered at his blonde friend. "Who?"

"Blondie!" Sting repeated, fully expecting Rogue to understand.

He didn't. "I'm going to need more than that, Sting."

Sting sighed. "You know!" He held his hands out in front of his chest as far as they would go. "Blondie!"

To his deep shame, Rogue now knew exactly who Sting was referring to. "…Lucy Heartfilia?" he questioned, kind of hoping he was wrong.

The White Dragon Slayer beamed at his partner, while Yukino gave them both looks of disgust. "So you do notice things like that!"

It would be rather hard not to, honestly. Rogue coughed. "What about her?"

"So? What do you think of her?"

Rogue thought hard before responding. "She's stronger than she seems – she held her own in the Naval Battle against a number of other mages with superior battle experience. She's proved herself to be intelligent. And compassionate towards her friends and family. Even towards total strangers." Really, she was almost perfect. But he would never say that out loud – and never to this blonde in particular. "I've never spoken directly with her, though. Also, I doubt her friends would let me get within two feet of her." Not after Minerva's torture – it was clear they were very protective of their bubbly teammate.

Sting nodded, deep in thought. "I guess you have a point. It might be hard to get close to her – especially after Future Rogue killed the future her, in front of her. On that note, it's lucky that they're rather understanding of that situation as it is."

The Shadow Dragon Slayer's stomach dropped to his toes. "…What?"

Stiffening, Sting realized what he had just casually blurted out. Facepalming, he groaned, "Shit. I can't believe I said that. I'm a moron."

There was no debating that point, but Rogue had something else to be concerned about. "He killed her?"

Chagrined, Sting replied, "Yeah… he sort of did."

"How do you 'sort of' kill someone?!"

Sting threw up his hands. "Okay! He murdered her! But they haven't come after you yet, and they didn't even want you to know! Yukino and I were sworn to secrecy!"

The Celestial Mage nodded. "My apologies, Rogue-sama. Lucy-sama told me it wasn't your fault and that holding grudges over things that technically didn't happen and never would is pointless. So I agreed to her onus of silence on the matter."

Rogue sighed. "Can I leave, now? I need to do some… thinking." Deep, deep introspection was in store for him.

"Yeah, fine." Sting decided that it was better for Rogue to sort himself out for the meantime.

After the Dragon Slayer's departure, he turned to Yukino. "Can you get me something to drink? All that talking made me thirsty."

She smiled at him and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Sting-sama. Once Rogue-sama has come to a conclusion, he'll let us know."

"I know, I know."

"I'll get you that drink then. Water alright?"

"Sure." Sting watched her leave, and glanced at his desk. Then he paled, and flipped off the intercom switch. It had been on the entire time. Shit. Rogue was going to kill him. Well, he already knew that but… Shit.

Shaking his head, he opened a drawer and removed a communication lacrima from it. "Did you catch all that, Mirajane-dono?" He placed it on the desk in front of him.

The Take Over Mage grinned back at Sabertooth's Master from within the crystal. "Every word, Master Sting!" she chirped. "Although, what did you do to let him know you were talking about Lucy?"

As Sting repeated the gesture, Mirajane doubled over in uncontainable mirth. "The pairing has hope!"

Sting grinned back at her. "Totally. Did you like my Future Rogue bomb?"

"It was perfect. You've outdone yourself."

"I think I may still owe you that favor. I had too much fun messing with him."

Mirajane's smile turned softer. "You know, I did it for Yukino, too. She already wanted to come back to Sabertooth, she just needed a little encouragement and an apology from you."

"Still, I'm glad your advice panned out. Now…" He rubbed his hands together. "What are we going to do about getting them together?"

Sting is an evil genius sometimes. Please let me know what you think!