here's the second installment of "This is the Gwevin" with "Proof," one of my favorite songs from the album. Sorry to Skylark for not posting sooner, but she's supposed to be with her family. family comes first... except when they squash our New Year's sleepover plans... . ENJOY! Arm-chair, rock-star, you're so hardcore.
But I know there's so much more you you.
Kevin stared out the windshield of the car, keeping his temper temporarily under control. His hands gripped the steering wheel and his sharp face was almost permanently twisted into a scowl. It scared me how he could be so sullen and naïve when everything around us was happening at the speed of light. He probably was paying attention, but he would never let on to anything like that.
You act like life's just a stupid game. He could just be so irritating, the way that he could just shove off everything that came our way like a little fly in the hot summer air. Just a part of nature. He never showed any pain. He was just a bottle in a sea-storm – tossed around every which-way and that, always holding a secret message inside that only one person could read – him. Show me, show me who you really are. I just wanted him to be able to open up and let things go. Watching him in his car be so calm about everything, even Ben in the backseat and drooling all over the upholstery, just made my blood boil. What was wrong with this guy? Something was up with him. He would've smacked Ben silly by now for making a mess that could have easily been taken care of by a swipe of a paper-towel. I want proof, tell the truth, show me you. His obsidian eyes flicked to me, then back to the empty road stretching out in front of us. "What?" "Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were still alive." You're lost in a world underneath your skin, A sad masquerade, just a way to survive. His depressing mask that hid his heart through his eyes and his harsh words just showed me how sensitive he was about letting people inside. His bad treatment towards Ben spoke of how even the little things could piss him off, and how meticulous he was about even the smallest details. And the black, glass-like eyes mirrored his breakable spirit. And yet, he wouldn't let anyone inside even though he was just so easy to read. Show me, show me what's behind your eyes. "Staying out of the Null Void, staying true to my Plumber's duties… just the normal, teenage guy stuff." The sarcasm was thickly layered and easily detectable on the last half of his sentence. I couldn't believe that he had just let me in that easy, when I had only asked a simple little question. Maybe he wasn't as complex and tangled as I thought he was. I want proof, tell the truth, show me you. "I also said the normal teenage guy stuff. Like girls." I arched my eyebrows. I'd never heard him talk about the female species before in a good light. I thought that his twisted little mind could figure things out, but not things as intricate as understanding the womanly race that most married men feared. Love calls your name, Let love embrace all you are "No, it's just that… I don't know. You're surprising." "Well then I suspect you didn't see this coming." He leaned forward, his lips gently grazing my neck, and then he went back to his old, stoic position at the wheel. All the tears and all the weakness. "You're my only weak point," he said quietly, and didn't say a word until we made a stop at Mr. Smoothie. I want proof, tell the truth, show me you. That must've meant that he would only open up to me. I was the only one who was able to break him or make him have the courage to go on. I was his core, the one thing that he would really die for.
You're cool but not enough to hide the pain.
I stared out the passenger window at the dark night sky, randomly dotted with stars. I couldn't believe that they were millions of years away from us. They all seemed to be the same size to me. It's the little wonders of the world that just breezed right on by Kevin.
Open up to something more,
The kind of love you're dying for.
"Kevin?" I asked timidly.
Too afraid to let anyone in your heart.
I thought for a fleeting second that he had cracked a smile, but he hadn't. There was no warmth in his eyes. Just the cold, hard glass that shielded his soul
from anyone besides himself. He would never let his guard down. There was always a shield around him, keeping himself hidden and protected from the rest of the world.
Without love, it's just a slow suicide.
And surprisingly, it attracted me.
"What do you think about? When you're alone?" I asked, tracing the tiny patterns in the black upholstery from the stitches and the fabric.
Open up to something more,
The kind of love you're dying for.
"Anything else that you think about? I mean, that can't be it."
And suddenly your heart is beating.
It seemed like he was a human being to me, now. A pulse finally rippled through him. I was able to call him and he would open up more to me, instead of just holding up his shield and defending the secret parts of his mind.
And all your feeling,
Kevin's glass-orb eyes flicked to me, a little warmer than they used to be just a few minutes ago. "You're surprised? That I actually have a brain?"
That's the place where mercy leads us.
I actually had to blink tears back into my green eyes. Kevin was just so… human now, instead of just a being that would absorb brick of metal and fight until the enemy was crushed, or he was. There was just so much more to him now that he had opened up, even just a little bit, and showed someone other than his reflection what he was really like.
Open up to something more,
The kind of love you're dying for.
What was he talking about? I thought. His only weak point?
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