Thank you very much for the reviews they mean alot. As you can tell from the first chapter this story is gonna be very different to whats happened on the show. It was just idea that came into my head and wouldn't go away. So thanks again. And enjoy

xoxox

Craig Dean was many things. For a long time, he put up a front of being over confident and maybe some would even say arrogant, to cover up what was really underneath the surface. He knew by doing this he could get everyone to believe he was one thing, even though he knew deep down inside the truth of who he was. It had taken him years of thinking, years of a slow realisation, that he wasn't like anyone else in he's life. And for the longest time he felt so alone. There had been many times when he had thought about talking to someone. He's sister. He's brother. He's Mum. But the fear would set in. He didn't want to be rejected by them, to have them look at him differently.

It was one year ago that Craig had finally told he's family that he was gay.

It was the same day he met Tom.

He had been waiting for he sister to meet him in the village for an hour. He remembered everything about that day. It had been raining and ground was still wet and the smell lingered in the air. He had waited for so long, and had been so lost in he's thoughts he hadn't even noticed the person approach him and sit next to him on the bench he waited for.

The stranger next to him had handed him a flyer for a club in town and smiled. Craig looked down at the flyer in he's hand. He turned to look at the person sitting by he's side, who had started talking. Craig noticed that there was a pile of the flyers in he's hands. He was talking away about how it was the clubs opening night, and the flyer got him in free. And it was such a small thing. A small moment when Craig didn't feel afraid of anything. Such a small silly thing as a piece of paper. And then the stranger held out he's hand for Craig to shake, and introduced himself.

Craig couldn't say how things would be today if he hadn't met Tom that day. If he hadn't agreed to meet up with him later that night. And from that moment on started out a friendship with him, that was based on the truth of who he really was. For the first time he was being himself with someone. And it felt liberating. He thought that it would be terrifying to have himself so exposed, but it wasn't. It was like being set free after years of being hidden away. It made the fear of having to tell he's family and other friends that he was gay.

And thats why on this particular night. A certain boy had caught he's eye. He saw something in him that was so familiar to a face he recognised on himself. The boy looked scared and lost amongst everyone else. But there was also something about him that stood out. Craig had never seen anyone like him before. Craig had seen people he had liked before, but never been brave enough to approach anyone, he wasn't like Tom. Tom was so secure and comfortable with who he was, and even though Craig may have appeared to be, deep down he was still trying to adjust to it all. So if he saw someone he liked he would have Tom trying to make him go and talk to the guy, but he never would, but this was different. For some reason he felt compelled to speak to this one. The look in he's eyes as he had looked in the mirror, the blue sparkling back at him, they captivated Craig and he out of nowhere was talking to him, actually talking to him.

Now he stood at the bar ordering drinks for the both of them, he turned and looked to the corner where John Paul sat and smiled, then turned back to face the bar. He looked over to where Tom and he's friends were sitting and watched as Tom smiled brightly at him, sticking two thumbs up, Craig laughed placing he's head in he's hands. Finally he ordered he's drinks and moved across the bar and sat down next to John Paul, handing him he's drink. He shifted in he's seat slightly, trying to remain as composed as possible.

"Are you here with friends?" Craig sat forward in he's chair and looked towards John Paul. He could see he was nervous, slightly uncomfortable with he's surroundings. He knew the answer. He was here alone. Of course he was.

"No. I actually just moved to the area today"

"Oh right I see. You move on your own then.. or?"

"No no. With my family. My Mum and my five sisters"

"Five sisters?" Craig laughed as John Paul nodded and smiled at him, he seemed to be relaxing as the conversation continued. And Craig almost forgot to listen to John Paul as he found himself lost in the blue eyes looking into he's own. He looked away down into he's bottle of beer "I have one sister and thats bad enough. 5 must be a nightmare"

"It has its good and bad things. I mean. We all look out for each other you know? Cos well we're all we have" Craig turned to him again and saw John Paul was looking down into he's beer, he seemed sad. Lost. He barely knew this person. Knew nothing but a name and these small things he had told him already, but he felt like he could feel he's pain. It seemed so similar to he's own that he had once felt. Craig continued to watch John Paul as he fiddled with the bottle in he's hands as he spoke.

"Bad thing is, sometimes its easy to get lost in them I guess. They're all such big personality's all different in there own way. Sometimes I feel a bit small in comparison. Also the queue for the bathroom in the mornings is a nightmare"

John Paul laughed again. Immediately making Craig do the same. "Families. They can be difficult. But also sometimes they're taken for granted you know? I mean they can be annoying and drive you crazy, but sometimes they can surprise you, in ways you didn't think they could"

"The voice of experience eh?"

"I wouldn't know about that" Craig sighed heavily and took a swig of he's beer. He had almost completely forgot he's surroundings. The evening had started out like most Friday nights, but this. Now. This was different. There was something different about this person. And he couldn't explain it.

"Sorry. You ask me for a drink and I totally bring the mood down."

"You didn't. It's rare that I have someone to talk to" Craig turned to look at John Paul again. And their eyes met again. There was something so compelling about this boy, something that wouldn't let him look away. Something that made him not want to. He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. He didn't even know him, but something inside of Craig was screaming at him. He opened he's mouth to speak, just as John Paul turned away. Craig saw the look in he's eye just before he had. It was one of fear and confusion. He understood how this must have seemed to him, what this drink actually meant. But Craig wasn't like that. A lot of he's friends were. They were always talking about one night stands, but Craig had never been like that. He wanted more than that.

John Paul stood up quickly "I really have to go..."

"John Paul, I don't erm do this. And by this I mean I don't talk to random men in bars. I mean if thats what your thinking... which I'm sure you are but its not like that, I mean I'm not like that. Its just. I'm gonna sound like an idiot cos I don't even know you but... "

Craig stood up and looked into John Pauls eyes again, and he immediately looked away. He was looking around frantically, clearly trying to recall the way out of this place. Craig again recognised the look he had seen it so many times in himself. And him rambling clearly wasn't helping he's discomfort.

"Come on. Lets get out of here."

Craig moved away from the table quickly – John Paul walking quickly behind him. As soon as they reached the door John Paul walked quickly ahead of Craig moving away from the hustle of the crowd. Craig watched from the other side of the street as John Paul leaned heavily against the wall, he's head resting on it. He thought at that moment, he could just walk away. It wouldn't have mattered there was nothing to lose here. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something to lose, something he couldn't even explain or describe. And it was that which pulled him across the road and made him lean back against the wall.

"First time in a place like that then yeah?"

John Paul moved away from the wall kicked the ground angrily "Do I have a sign on back saying that or something?"

"No" Craig smiled at him. "Its just I've been there. I recognised the look on your face as soon as I saw you"

"Oh and you thought what? Take pity of the pathetic sod?"

"Not at all. I thought here's someone who looks a bit lost. Which is mostly how I feel everyday. Here's someone whose different. Not like anyone else in there. And I wanted to buy you a drink. Talk to you. That was all."

"That was all? You think I don't know what everyone in these bars is looking for?"

"Is that why you came here?"

"NO. I just... I was sitting at home surrounded by everyone and they were all shouting and yelling, what my family seem to do best, and all I could think about was how if I just got up and walked out no one would even notice I was gone. They wouldn't even blink an eye. So I did. And I just started walking and here I am. And I have no idea why..."

"Yes you do. You may not wanna admit as to why you came here tonight. But you know why." Craig sighed heavily and walked closer towards John Paul. "I've been there. Sometimes I feel like I am still where you are... I feel like I finally manage to take a step forward and then something will happen and its 3 steps back. But everyday I remind myself that this is who I am. Who I'm meant to be"

"Its not like that for me. This is it. My one chance of just... I needed to know... "

"Needed to know what?"

John Paul shook he's head and looked down the street. "I can't be here" he turned and started to walk away. And again Craig felt compelled to follow him stopping him in he's tracks.

"Look. I have no idea why I'm doing this and you no doubt couldn't give a crap what some stranger thinks. But I remember feeling the way you do, I felt alone and scared and completely terrified. But someone helped me so much, helped me see it was okay you know? To feel... maybe there's a reason we met tonight. Maybe I'm supposed to be that person for you, to help you"

"I don't want your help"

Craig nodded. "Okay. Just... you have a phone?"

"What?"

"You have your mobile?" John Paul nodded and removed it from he's pocket and Craig took hold of it and started to type in he's number. What the hell was he doing? He just said he didn't want any help, but he figured if he had really meant it, he's be grabbing the phone back off him and running down the street. He pressed save and then looked back into John Paul's eyes.

"Just in case... well anything"

He watched as John Paul grabbed the phone from he's hand and shoved it back in he's pocket and practically ran down the street. Craig felt a huge sense of disappointment, like he should have said something different, that he hadn't wanted him to walk away. Not that he was surprised, if the situation had been reversed he wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't have done the same thing. He sighed and a strange feeling gripped him, and he couldn't seem to shake it. He was almost certain of one thing, that the number that had been entered into the phone that night would be deleted almost straight away.