Chapter 2: The Sound of Settling

Is this really happening to me? How can I go from almost unknown to James Potter's fake girlfriend in a split second? What did I do to deserve this? I'm trying to think of why karma decided to point its finger of doom at me. I'm not a bad person. I don't cause harm to other people aside from the time I had left my backpack out in the Great Hall during lunch and a second year Hufflepuff tripped and fell. Admittedly I did laugh when the kid fell and skidded across the floor, but I felt bad immediately after!

"Avery, are you listening?" James said as he snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I guess my answer and the confused look on my face was enough to show James that I had not been listening.

In fact, I haven't heard a single word he's said the past five minutes. After he kissed me in the common rooms he gloated as he strode by a shell-shocked Lily dragging me along with him. In my post-kiss shock I didn't realize that he was taking me to the boys dormitory.

Boys' dormitory.

More specifically the Marauders' dorm room.

Most specifically I'm in it, with boys.

I know this wont end well. There's no point in me trying to convince myself I'll end this gracefully with witty comebacks and flirty eye batting. I just have to keep this situation from turning catastrophic. That's not too much to ask, right? Besides, what truly defines a catastrophic event? I think a bridge or building collapsing would classify under the definition catastrophic. So as long as I can keep either of these things from happening I will not be placed under this definition.

Right.

"I asked if you were you listening to me." James repeated. No need to get so ornery.

I could see the Marauders were already getting frustrated with me and my attention span, or lack thereof. "Um-yes."

"James," Sirius said as he stepped forward to include himself in the conversation. "I do believe she is lying to us."

Us? Can't I just talk to one person individually? When I talk to one Marauder does that mean I'm really speaking to all four of them? I wonder if I punched one of the Marauders if all of them would feel it.

Ugh-curiosity is getting the best of me, my arm wont stop twitching with the possibility upon uncovering this secret. I must test the theory.

"Oi! What was that for?" Sirius asked as he rubbed his arm. Judging from the fact that Sirius was the only one to respond to the punch my theory is debunked. Poo. On the upside I did get to touch him and I noted that his arms were hard.

"It was an experiment. Honestly, no one got mad at Aristotle when he tested out all of his theories on animals. Because I'm a girl I'm not allowed to test theories, this is egregious! You sexist pigs."

"You always choose the mental ones James." Sirius declared as he looked at me. Even though he was putting down me as a person there was a playful glint in his eyes that made me think that even though he completely thought I was mental, he was amused.

"Lily's not mental, she's just passionate."

Thanks for defending Lily and not me, boyfriend.

"Listen," I said standing up. "Thanks for the erm-kiss. I really ought to be leaving now. My cat, he needs me. If someone doesn't pet him every hour he goes mental and shreds the room to pieces. It was lovely chatting and seeing all your pretty faces but I need to go."

"What event occurred that made you think you were leaving?"

Oh god. They're going to ask me to be part of their orgy. That's why they've taken me up here. Oh no. I can't do this. I'm not ready. Both mentally and physically. I can't even eat sausages at breakfast without laughing and thinking of their sexual connotation. I don't know what goes where or where things fit. This is why I suck at puzzles.

"I don't like sausage!" I exclaimed covering my face with my hands, as if this is going to do or accomplish anything. Oh great, now I sound like a lesbian. On top of them thinking I'm completely mental now they think I don't like men. I'm just a prude! Since when did being a prude make you a lesbian? This world is so unjust.

"Sausage?"

"I'm not a lesbian. Just because I don't want to participate in an orgy doesn't mean I like girls. I'm sorry that I'm not 'experienced' and an 'open door' or 'coordinated'. Since when does being prude make you anything other than a prude? If I were a tomato would I be anything else but a tomato? Well, aside from tomato juice, tomato soup and tomato sauce. Those are all the same thing right? I mean, technically I'm still a tomato."

I realize I have trailed off and gotten completely off topic judging by confused expression on James Potter's face. Right as I think I'm now going to be labeled as 'that girl' the one with the word quarantine on her forehead that everyone stays away from, the Marauders laugh.

"Oh Muze," James said as he wiped a tear away and the laughter died down. "This is going to be fun."

"What's going to be fun?" I asked genuinely confused. I'm always the last one to know things, even when it involves my own life.

James sighed and looked at me like I was one of those kids. You know, the ones that eat glue and use twigs to create nests to live in. Now, I may have gone through a small glue stage, but in my defense it tasted like chunky milk.

"The fact that you're now my girlfriend, at least to the public that is."

"And uh-when was this decided?" I was a little mad that he just expected me to go along with him and that I had no say in the matter.

"While you weren't paying attention."

"Dating me wont help you get Lily."

"I know that, she's incapable of jealously. But if I don't date you I look like a huge arse."

"Right. I seem to have missed the part where my opinion mattered and the fact that I do have a life of my own, one that doesn't revolve around your schedule."

"Well, that's why this works out well. You don't have any friends."

Ouch. That one stung. I mean obviously it's no surprise to me that I don't have any friends but when other people say it and how James said it really got to me. He made it sound like I was incapable of having friends, which may or may not be true, but who is he to decide this for me. I could feel my eyes burning and the tears forming and I knew I had to leave.

"Right, well I'm going now." And without another word I left the room. I didn't even bother to close the door; I just ran downstairs and back to my room as fast as I could.

The next day I holed myself up in the library. I didn't want to deal with people asking me about the kiss and I especially didn't to see any of the Marauders. This is why I don't involve myself with people. Drama just ensues. I'll just stay in the library where it's quiet and people keep to themselves.

Of course right as I'm thinking this a shadow is cast over my book and I hear a voice ask, "Can I sit here?"

I look up and see Sirius Black standing in front of me. At first I am taken aback by how gorgeous he is, especially up close. After a moment of gawking I look back down at my book. "It's not like I would be saving it for anyone, right?"

Sirius sighs as he pulls out the chair and sits down across from me. "James crossed the line yesterday. He feels really bad about what he said."

"If he feels so bad then why isn't he the one apologizing, why is he sending his whipping boy to do the job?"

"He didn't send me," Sirius said, his voice notably tightened. "I came here because I felt bad, you looked so…sad."

"Great," I said closing my book harshly and throwing it into my bag. "Not only do I not have friends but I'm sad." I swung my bag over my shoulders, unfortunately I swung it with a little too much gusto and the weight pulled me back and threw me off balance. I reached into thin air as I fell backwards, not being able to find anything to hold onto, I landed on my back with a dull thud.

"Are you ok?" Sirius asked as he rushed over to me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and let out a frustrated sigh. "No I am not ok. I'm humiliated and frustrated. This morning I woke up late for class and as I was getting ready I realized I had run out of toothpaste. I ran to the Great Hall to get food but the food was gone. Then because I was late for Transfiguration today McGonagall made me stay after class so she could scold me. When I went down to lunch it was over. After Potions I came here where I thought I could get some peace and quiet but no, you come and show up. Now I'm hungry, humiliated and I'm pretty sure I bruised my tailbone."

A few seconds of silence passed and I looked over and saw Sirius. The corners of his mouth were twitching and his face began turning red. He couldn't hold it any longer and broke out in a fit of laughter. At first I was angry but then I realized the ridiculousness of the situation and laughed along with him until I felt like I was going to vomit.

Sirius's laughter started to die down to chuckling as he grabbed me by my arm, "come on." He said helping me up. I couldn't help but get embarrassed at his touch. His hands on my arm sent a shockwave of heat throughout my body. "I don't know what I can do about your bruised tailbone, but I think I can help you out with your food situation."

"Oh yeah, have you got some chicken in your backpack?"

"No, but I do have some buns in my back pocket."

"Really?" I said as I glanced around and stared at his butt.

Oh. I get it now.

Sirius let out a bark-like laughter and ruffled my hair with his hand. "You are something else."

I slapped his hand away and crossed my arms over my chest in an act of defiance. "Shut your mouth egg-head and show me the food."

"Egg-head?"

"You heard me. There's more name calling in store for you if you don't show me the food."

Sirius let out another bark of laughter and started walking ahead of me. I guess I'm supposed to follow. I'll just walk behind him a little bit to erm-inspect the buns.

I followed behind Sirius for a few minutes in relative silence, he didn't seem bothered by the fact I wasn't saying anything. After a few minutes we stopped in front of a large painting of fruit.

Is Sirius stupid? I said I wanted to eat food, not look at it.

Wait-did he just molest that pear?

Did the pear just giggle?

Before I could question Sirius on why he molested fruit the door opened revealing a kitchen with house elves running around. Once they realized we were standing in the doorway they all stopped and rushed forward to us.

"Ah, Mister Black you are back and with a lady friend. What can Floppy get for you?"

"I think chicken and potatoes will do."

"And kidney pie."

"Ok, chicken, potatoes and kidney pie."

"Floppy will only be a minute."

"Why don't we sit down," Sirius offered as he gestured towards a small table with chairs circled around it.

We sat down and Sirius leaned forward on the table to get closer to me. "Listen, I know what James said has probably turned you off of him but I really think you should give him a second chance."

I can't believe this. I thought we were done talking about this. Is this why Sirius was being nice to me? Just so he can get me to reconsider James. I'm slightly offended and feel a little used to be honest. "I don't think you understand the term; not going to happen."

Sirius sighed and leaned back against his chair, lazily dropping one arm over the back. "Can you just hear me out for a second?" I stared at him for a few seconds before deciding nothing he could say would really be that bad so I shrugged and he continued talking. "What James said to you was cruel, I will not deny this but," Sirius licked his lips and furrowed his eyebrows as he searched for the right words to say. "But what he said wasn't exactly off base-was it? Pointing it out and how he said it was cruel but what he said wasn't a lie. It's like-let's say someone has a huge mole on their face and someone pointed it out. You could be mad that they pointed it out but you couldn't consider them a liar or falsely accusing you of anything."

"I don't see where you're taking this." I was a little confused as to how we went from James pointing out I had no life to a kid with a mole.

"Right," Sirius started but was interrupted by Floppy placing the food between us. Neither of us reached for the food. I wasn't in the mood anymore. "James doesn't mean to be cruel, except to Snape, but he didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Sometimes James just says stuff without thinking."

"Ah well that's a great excuse. I'll just start vomiting on people and when they get mad I'll just tell them I wasn't thinking when I did it. I'm sure they'll understand."

Sirius chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I can't promise James wont say anything stupid but I'll try hard to keep him in line saying you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend."

"Why do you care so much?"

Sirius looked down and shuffled awkwardly for a few seconds. When he looked back up at me there was warmth in his eyes and affection, "he's my brother."

I sighed and weighed the pros and cons. The cons; I could embarrass myself. There would be attention drawn to me. I would have to be with James Potter for extended periods of time. People may try and talk to me. No more privacy.

The pros. I would learn other Marauder secrets such as the kitchens. I would get to be able to stare at Sirius as much as I liked. This could be an educational experience.

Ok, scratch that last one.

Clearly the cons out-weighed the pros but once I glanced up and saw Sirius gazing at me intensely with his smoldering grey eyes my hormones kicked in and before I could control myself I said, "ok, I'll do it. I'll be James's girlfriend."

Bollocks.

A/N: So I'm not entirely pleased with how this chapter turned out but I really needed to set the foundation for what was going to happen and to build Sirius/Avery's relationship and how they start..ect...soooo it could've been better. I know it's a bit dull, but hilarity will ensue next chapter! Thanks to all of you who reviewed. You're AMAZING! R&R! Also-the chapter title is Death Cab for Cutie's song sound of settling, check it out :)