Naked

Chapter 2: Relieved?

Authors Note: Hey people thanks for the reviews, its good to know that someone else knows how it is to be in this situation. Oh the thing that happened to Spencer's "brother" was actually what happened to her cousin, it just flowed better with the story. Well everything is true, enjoy.

Ashley's POV:

July 14th 2007

As I sat at my computer, as always, contemplating how I would be able to go down to orange county with out my car. I need to tell Spencer, no matter what I was feeling, it needed to be done. I thought as I heard my phone ring. It was Spencer. "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" I said as I nervously chewed on my fingernails. "Should I answer?" I asked my self. I fliped my phone open.

"Hello?" I asked with a nervous tone.

"Hey what are you doing?" She asked with a sigh, she sounded kind of sad.

"Um nothing like always... what's up?" I asked.

"Well guess what happened?" She said.

" What?" I asked thinking it probably had something to do with Louie.

"Glen's in the hospital" She said.

"What?! Why what happened?" I asked shocked, defiantly not what I was expecting to hear.

" Well he overdosed on some pills, my mom found him on the floor seizureing when she got home from work" She said with a shaky voice.

"Oh my God... well is he okay? What happened?" I asked really worried for her.

"Um well I went to the hospital with my dad and he had tubes in his nose and an IV, it was scary..." She trailed off.

" Wow Spencer im so sorry." I said not really sure of what else to say.

"No its okay, he should be out of the hospital in a couple days." She said with a sigh.

"But yea, what did you want to tell me?" She asked. No way was I going to tell her now that her brother is in the hospital, its too much to handle right now, I thought to myself.

"Ill tell you later, once everything has calmed down" I said knowing she wouldnt take that as an excuse.

"No im fine just tell me." She said impaitently.

"I will tell you, just not right now you have too much on your plate" I said justifying my decision.

"Ugh no really im fine, just tell me." She said fustrated.

"No im not going to right now, tust me I will tell you soon, just not untill things calm down." I said.

"Ugh ok then..." She said.

I wish I was there with her right now, to help her out. I really hated being so far way.

The next couple days were like that, her asking about my "secret" trying to get anything out of me, but I wouldnt budge. I really wanted to tell her in person, but there was no way for me to get down there. I had to do it the myspace way...in a messsage. To be truthful I dont think I would be able to tell her in person, even though I really wanted to, I know just looking into her eyes my self confidence would filter way, and I would of wasted both of our times. So I wrote her this message, and I swear it took me a hour to click the send button, but I did it.

So here's what I wrote her:

July 16, 2007

ok well i think im just going to tell u rite now.

ok well i wanted to tell u in person but its not gonna happend anytime soon and well i think i would chicken out anyways.

so yea...

Ok well im gonna make this as short as possible. I dont know how or why i feel the way i do, but since freshmen year my feelings for you have changed, alot. im in love with you. The past 2 years have been hell just trying to figure out my feelings for u. Everynite i prayed to stop feeling this way, but nothing has cahnged except me just falling more in love with you. I can focus on anything, and i can hardly sleep, all my thoughts revolve around you. I dont know why i just cant help it. Im just in love with you and thats all there is to it. Im sorry if it upsets you, but you deserve to know the truth. Im tired of hiding and pretending. I understand if u dont wanna be friends anymore. IM not even sure we should be friends, it obvious my feelings arent changing to where i could only see u as a friend, and maybe if we dont talk or hang out for a while i might get over u. But im good at acting! So if u still want to be friends just know that nothing will change, im still here for u, it'll be just like before. Just be honest and tell me what u think. oh n PLEASE dont tell ne one!!

Love, Ashely

Heres her response a few minutes later:

wow! ur right, i had nooo idea. wait sooo..i dont get it?? r u bi ?? i know that sounds retarted butttt yeah...i mean how do you knoww??? of course i wanna be friends with you...why wouldn't i??? but if you need time or something, i understand..like, if you wanna just stay away from each other for a while...wow..
well, just get back to me!

3 Spencer

Me:

idk!im still atractted to guys thats 4 sure. but its just you... idk

Spencer:

well, for sure if you told me this in person, i'd be like..
riiiiiiiiite liar! i seriously wouldn't know what to say...
like right now, i think ur punking me...am i being punk'd?? i would have never guessed this..
i thought you were gonna tell me like, ohh i think im a lez! but woww...this is beyond what i was thinking.
sooooo wat ru gonna do!?!?

Me:

no its the truth, i WISH i was kidding. i have clue wats gonna happen. i shouldnt of told u. but too late now. im just really fustrated about all this. idk where to look anymore.

Spencer:

well, i'm ALWAYS here for you. annd you need to remember that. i know im not the one you should be talking to, but im just letting you know. maybe you should start dating around more..u know?? i think it can help.

Me:

yea well i feel really embarrassed n akward rite now so im gonna go. peace

Spencer:

im sorry..i dont wanna make u feel weird or anything...
i want u to know that i love you as a friend .. i always will. u know??? i understand if we shouldnt talk for a while..so u can think things thru...plzzz dont feel embarrassed...i love u ash!! i'll talk to you some other time..byee.

Me:

thnx spence i dnt know wat i should do...not talkin 2 u would suck but not bein able to honestly just see u as a friend sucks 2. we'll see i guess...