Dipper and Gary were both walking along the streets of the small town. Both of them were equally distraught at the fact that they couldn't beat that manly tester. "Gah… I can't believe I humiliated myself like that." Gary said rubbing his forehead, "Who cares what they think, we can be manly!" Gary said.
Dipper wasn't really listening to; he was just busy mumbling to himself. "Not manly enough, stupid lumberjack, stupid machine…"
"Hey Dipper." Gary said, "Don't let what they say get to you."
"But there has to be some way that we can get-AGH!"
Dipper was suddenly cut off when him and Gary were suddenly sprayed by water. After coughing out water a couple of times, they noticed that just across the street, a fire hydrant was broken, and officers Blubs and Durland were examining it.
"Another hydrant destroyed." Blubs said, "It's just a gosh darn mystery."
"Wanna take our uniforms off and run around in circles?" Durland asked.
Though in the next second Blubs had his shirt off, "Quit reading my mind."
Durland and Blubs both started to run around in circles spinning around their shirts as they did. "Well, that was unexpected." Gary said. Just than they bumped into a young woman. "Oh I'm sorry." The lady said, "I was looking for the mail man."
Dipper had started to say, "Oh, what? Are you saying that I'm not a male man? Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not a male? I'm not a man? Is that-is that what you're getting at?"
"Whoa Dipper, easy there buddy." Gary said.
"Are you crying?" The woman asked concerned.
Dipper was trying real hard not to cry in front of him, but it was harder than it looked to hold back his tears. Gary immediately grabbed his hand he ran with Dipper into the forest not too far from the town. A few hours had passed and both Dipper and Gary were trying to see if they can get their chest hair. Gary was struggling to do push ups while Dipper was trying to bench press, but with a stick.
"3… 4… 5…" They both said, struggling with it, "6...7!"
Gary fell flat on his stomach catching his breath while Dipper tossed the stick to the side. "Man…" Gary said sitting up, "This is… Way more difficult than it looks…"
They both looked at their chest, but sighed in disappointment. "No chest hair." Dipper said.
"I don't have it either." Gary said, "How do grown ups do it?"
Gary took out a bag of beef jerky; Dipper looked on the bag which had the logo which had said, "You're Inadequate!". "You said it brother." Dipper said to the bag, "We're gonna need help if we wanna get that chest hair."
"Yeah, but who would know about things like this?" Gary asked as he opened the bag, "Want some jerky?"
"No thanks." Dipper said.
Gary shrugged before taking one piece of jerk and eating it.
Just than they felt the ground start to shake around them the area they were in. In the distance they heard loud rumbling sound. They saw all animals run in the opposite direction of the noise, even Manly Dan.
"FOR THE MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, RUN!" He yelled as he ran past them.
A tree soon fell over almost landing on Dipper, but he was quick to move; Gary immediately ran beside him still holding the bag of jerky. A monstrous figure came towards the two boys; they backed up and tripped over the tree that had fallen earlier.
They both let out a scream, though Dipper's voice was a bit high pitch. "Wait, sorry." Dipper said before screaming a lower octave.
"Seriously? We're possibly about to die and you're worried about a little thing like that?" Gary said.
The monstrous figure came into the light and they saw what appeared to be a minotaur. He let out another tremendous roar, but had quickly transitioned into a yawn, as he was stretching. Grabbing a deer from a nearby bush, he used it's antlers to scratch his back before tossing the deer to the side. The deer got up no problem as it didn't appear to be injured. He looked over to where the boys were; the two of them couldn't help but cower in fear.
Gary screamed, "PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T EAT US! I TASTE AWFUL FOR ONE THING!"
"I HAVEN'T SHOWERED! IN LIKE A WEEK!" Dipper yelled, "NOT TO MENTION I'M WEAK AT THE ELBOWS! ELBOWS AND GRISTLE!"
"YOU!" The minotaur shouted at them, pointing to Gary in particular, "... Gonna finish that?" Dipper and Gary didn't really know what he was talking about until they realized the minotaur was pointing at the bag of jerky he was holding.
"Oh…" Gary said, "No you can have it." He threw the bag to the minotaur; he started to eat the bag of the jerky.
"I can't believe it…" Dipper said with disbelief, "You're part animal, part human."
"Are you supposed to be some kind of minotaur or something?" Gary asked.
"I'M A MANOTAUR!" He said, "Half man! Half-Uh… TAUR!"
Dipper asked the Manotaur, "So did we, or one of us summon you or something?"
"The smell of jerky summoned me!" The Manotaur said before punching a tree and smashing a rock as he yelled, "JERKY!"
Just than he caught a certain scent in the air; he smelled Dipper and Gary.
"I smell…" The Manotaur said as he posed dramatically, "... Emotional issues."
Dipper and Gary nodded there heads. "We have problems manotaur." Dipper said, "Man related problems." The Manotaur sat down and patted his leg, basically saying it was okay to tell him.
The Manotaur listened as Dipper explained, "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp, and I kind of flunked this manliness video game, I was pretty much embarrassed. "
"Than I tried beating the manliness tester, kind of got irritated when my mom told me that I wasn't manly either but when I tried it, I ended up getting humiliated." Gary said.
Dipper hatched an idea, "Hey, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me and Gary some pointers." The Manotaur thought about it for only a moment, before saying to them, "Very well, climb up on back hair, children."
Dipper and Gary couldn't help but cringe when they saw that flies buzzed around his back hair. "That's disgusting…" Gary couldn't help but say, "No offense to you manotaur."
Dipper sighed and said, "Well, let's do this."
Dipper and Gary climbed up on the Manotaurs back and they began to move. The Manotaur ran through the forest and crashed through the trees that stood in the way. At one point Dipper was hit by a bird's nest with baby birds, though luckily Gary moved the bird's nest into another tree they had they were about to run past.
"DUDE LOOKOUT!" Dipper shouted when he saw the Manotuar running towards the edge.
"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Gary shouted.
The Manotuar leapt off of the edge and Dipper and Gary couldn't help but scream. Before they knew it they had landed inside the mountain, and the next thing they both knew, they found themselves in the cave. The climbed off of the Manotaurs back and they couldn't help but look at it in awe. There were even more Manotaurs inside the cave, either punching each other, or lifting makeshift weights.
"Holy cow…" Gary said.
"Whoa…" Dipper said speechless.
"The gnomes live in the forest." The Manotuar said, "The merpeople live in the water, cause' they're losers! But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE!" The Manotuar had rang a gong nearby to get the other Manotaurs attention.
"BEASTS!" He said, "I have bought you… Two hairless children!" He had pushed Dipper and Gary forward.
"S'up?" Dipper said.
"Uh… Hi?" Gary said awkwardly. The Manotuar that had bought Dipper and Gary into the man cave introduced the other Manotaurs and than himself, "This is uh, Pubertar, Testosteror, Pituitor, and I'm Chutzpar. And you two are?"
"My name's Dipper, and this is Gary." Dipper said. The Manotaurs booed at those names.
"Dipper the Destructor and Gary the Devastator!" Gary immediately said, to which the Manotaurs mumbled in agreement at those names.
"Dipper the Destructor and Gary the Devastator wish to learn the secrets to our manliness."
"We've got a problem here you guys!" Dipper said, before Gary and him showed them their bare chest, "Look at this!"
The Manotaurs gasped at this. "I must confirm with the high council for this." One of the Manotaurs said. They Manotaurs had huddle together and started to console with one another.
"So do we teach them our man secrets or what?"
"They're humans, I don't like them."
"I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE!"
The Manotaurs had started to punch one another, as Dipper and Gary watched from the sidelines.
"I like these guys." Dipper said with a smile.
"Ditto to that." Gary said.
-At the Mystery Shack-
Mabel, Mira and Skyla were in the living room with Stan who was currently shuffling cards. "Okay Grunkle Stan." Mabel said with a smile, "Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! Before we get started, let's take a before picture."
Mabel pulled out a camera and snapped a photo of Stan, catching him by surprise.
"One thing you should know about Mabel Grunkle Stan." Mira said, "Is that she never misses an opportunity to put a new photo in her scrapbook."
"I like to call it a scrapbookertunity!" Mabel said as she put the photo in the scrapbook, "Doodledoo memories."
"Now that's done." Skyla said, "It's time to start the lesson for the day. We'll begin with some good old fashion roleplaying. Soos will be playing the role as Lady Susan."
They all turned to Soos, and they saw him dressed up like Lady Susan, make-up in all. Wendy and Andrew had just finished putting makeup on him.
"I'm soft like a woman." Soos said.
"Alright Grunkle Stan, show us how you approach a woman." Mira said, "Just remember this is a safe non-judgemental environment."
"We'll just off on the sides judging you on a scale of one to ten." Mabel said taking out a notepad.
Stan approached Soos, as the ladies watched how Stan was gonna pretend to talk to a woman. Though each of them were shocked to see Stan spit to the side and ask, "Can I borrow some money?"
Mabel immediately blew on the whistle. While Skyla slapped herself in the face, and Mira just sat there with a stunned expression. "Wow… He wasn't kidding when he said he was out of the game." Skyla said.
"This is gonna be harder than I thought." Mabel said.
Mira said to them, "Don't worry, we can do this." She than mumbled, "I hope."