A Star Trek Fiction

"The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever."

Break but Shatter

if i cry will you hold me?

Everything has a beginning, and this is where it all started. Where Bones finally noticed the crack growing along Jim's persona, releasing his demons and letting the despair crawl back up to his mind.

Jim may give off the whole bravado front, but if one is to tear past his rigid walls of his pathetic attempt to hide his anxiety, they'll find a soft and tender inside. Bones has fought through these barriers, multiple times, constantly earning the blond's trust back.

So with knowing him so well, it didn't take long for Bones to see the signs and count down the days for the ultimate explosion. The moment it'll all come crashing down, but he planned to defuse the bomb, to find it at its roots and dig it up. But not everything goes to plan, especially when it comes to the rambunctious Captain.

Bones is strolling down the corridor, grimacing at the bright white walls and keeping his gaze fixated on the black floor. Jim's waiting for him in his quarters. It's become a recent habit of the blond to sleep in Bones' room. But if Leonard's honest with himself, he's fine with it, it means their relationship is intact, that it hasn't fallen apart, completely that is.

So the Medical Officer keeps his pace steady, thinking of ways to address the problem at heart.

McCoy knows there's a problem; he can read all the signs now. Jim's been having nightmares, and if he doesn't have nightmares he can't sleep. His palms are constantly sweaty and the paleness of his skin frightens Leonard.

Bones sighs and rounds the last corner, brushing by Chekov who greets him with a cheeky smile before vanishing down the hallway. The brunette glides up to the door, his fingers edging to punch in his code, but he stops, his ears straining to hear the commotion inside of the room. He peers over; pressing his ear closer to the door, tuning in to Jim's muffled noises. The blond is crying softly, heaving sobs that work its way through his chest and out his mouth.

His heart breaks within the moment and reaches his hand out to open the door but stops. Maybe this isn't the best time. Maybe he should allow Jim to heal before opening up the floodgates to the blond's uncontrollable emotions.

So Bones stops himself, taking a few steps away from his room. Tonight, Jim will have to lock the mansion doors himself. But now, looking back at that moment, Leonard takes it all back. Maybe, just maybe he wouldn't have the shattered fragments of what Jim is now if he had opened the door.