Chapter 2: Midnight Parties with Obi and Satine
This time, Kaskleu was on HER computer reading FanFiction. She was starting "A Not-So-Normal Week" by Bluesaber3. Katia had recommended it to her. Coruscant was looking very busy as normal during the new Anakin Is Going Crazy Circus's first performance.
Her com beeped just as she was going to review chapter 1. "Padawan Veran here." She said with a sigh.
"Kask? *cough cough* I was wondering if you could bring me some of your special vassi root and mint tea?" The person said, coughing again.
"Katia? Is it you?" Kask asked.
"Yes. Now will you help me or not?" Katia Amidala asked.
"Okay. See you soon."Kaskleu said.
She hung up the com and commed Padmé.
"Hello?" She said. "Who is this?"
"Kask." She said in response.
"Kask...?" Padmé asked in confusion. "Who are you?"
Kaskleu sighed. "I'm Padawan Kaskleu Rea Veran! I'm your sister's friend!"
"Oh." Padmé said. "What can I do for you?"
"Your sister has a cough," Kask said. "She asked me to bring her some of the vassi root and mint tea, and I need your help. I'm out of the vassi root, and Kat said you had some..."
"I am so sorry, Kaskleu, I have none left." Padmé said.
"But I REALLY need it!" Kask said. She really wanted to help her friend.
"I do know where you can find vassi root!" Padmé said excitedly. "come over to my place and I will tell you."
"I am on my way, Senator Amidala! Thanks!" Kask said.
5 minutes later...
Kask was sitting on Padmé's leather couch looking at a holomap of her course.
Ahsoka, Aayla, and the twins (if you remember them from the last chapter) were in the room as well so they could get their orders.
"Where exactly is this place?" Ahsoka asked.
Meanwhile, in Katia's quarters...
Katia was sitting on her bed, surrounded by a pile of reading "The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles" by Julie Andrews Edwards and listening to some Herbie Hancock jazz music.
There was a loud knock at the door, which Katia heard even through her earbuds.
"Come in! I AM sick, you know!" Katia answered.
"Yes, I do know you are sick, Kat. I wanted to tell you something!" Kaskleu said.
The door opened. Kask, Ahsoka, Padmé, Aayla and the twins stepped inside.
"AHH! THE TWINS!" Katia screamed.
"OW!" Ahsoka, Padmé, and Aayla said at the same time.
"You said it, Ahsoka!" Kaskleu said, holding her lekku.
"Agreed." the two twins said, in perfect unison.
"Katia, we are going to go to this planet in Wild Space so we can find some vassi root for your tea." Padmé said.
"Padmé, you must be careful!" Katia said worriedly.
"I will, sis." Padmé replied.
They left, the twins still eying Katia suspiciously. Katia giggled at their identical "Caterpillar Eyebrows". They were pink as you could think, you know.
Padmé left to com the clones to get her ship ready, while the other girls packed. As the Senator was rounding the corner of one of the Jedi Temple's many hallways, she heard a loud crash and someone cursing. She ran over to the open door, where the noise was coming from, and looked inside.
With a shriek, Padmé covered her eyes. Obi-Wan Kenobi, wearing a bath towel, had tripped over something and lost control of the towel. He yelled loudly at the sight of the Senator and crashed through the door of his broom closet, making someone inside it shriek and brooms and mops fly everywhere. Duchess Satine stepped out of the broom closet, wearing a mop on her head, a pink sparkly bikini (hide your eyes, that's not a pretty picture), and clanking as she walked, for she had Obi-Wan's mop bucket stuck on her foot. She was swearing nearly as loud as Obi-Wan. Padmé was still hiding her eyes and trying not to laugh. Just as she stepped forward to help, grabbing the first two things she found (a bedsheet with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pattern and a large towel with all the Disney princesses on it, which had an incriminating nametag on it that said "Obi-Wan Kenobi"on it in a loopy pink scrawl), she tripped over something and fell to the floor.
Padmé rolled over as expertly as a Jedi Master and got to her feet, looking around for what she had tripped over, and let out a loud shriek as several tiny blaster bolts hit her ankles. The Senator grabbed a pink punch bowl with Ninja Turtle decals from under Obi-Wan's coffee table (she would really have to remind the obvious couple to stop leaving incriminating evidence of their relationship around Obi-Wan's room) and clapped it down on top of seven or eight tiny figures. There were loud screams from under the Ninja Turtle punch bowl, and then the sound of what sounded like Anakin snapping his fingers (he couldn't do it very well, and ended up sounding like he was trying to make a fake fart noise instead of the loud clear snap that his wife could make easily). The top of the punch bowl started to get tiny melted spots in it, and Satine, still wearing her bikini, yelled. "MY NINJA TURTLE PUNCH BOWL!" She screamed, and threw herself at the still towelless Obi-Wan. Padmé hid her eyes again.
Just as Padmé was sure that she wasn't going to be able to keep the tiny things (that she still hadn't identified) under the punch bowl, there was a tiny voice. "Hey, is that Michaelangelo?" It asked.
Another voice answered, "Yeah, it is! And Donatello, and Raphael, and Leonardo, too!"
Padmé gave up on her dignafied "Senator Look" that Anakin always teased her about and started laughing. "N-NARGLES!" She gasped, laughing harder.
"Oh, excuse me, Miss Authoress, but I don't think my line comes in for a while yet, please. Is that true?"
Oh, sorry, Luna. I didn't mean to do that... it was too tempting, especially after that Harry Potter matinee. You know?
"You know, Miss Authoress, I do believe there are Nargles in this room. You know, I think they're centering around that Elf over there..."
*Legolas screams and runs as Luna runs after him, yelling about Nargles invading the world*
Okay, that's over. Sorry, everyone! Back to the story now!
Just as Padmé started laughing, Anakin ran in to Obi-Wan's quarters, surveyed the scene, and rushed to his wife's side. "MY LOVE!" He screamed. "WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU AND THE BABY OKAY?"
Padmé gave him a funny look. "Huh?" She said.
Anakin blushed. "Oh. That line wasn't supposed to come in until later, was it, Miss Authoress?"
No, Anakin, that wasn't. Much, much later. I'm going to have to send Loony- uh, Luna- after you... LUNA! NARGLES!
*Anakin and Legolas run screaming from Luna Lovegood as she yells about Nargles*
Okay, sorry. Let's try that again, shall we?
Just as Padmé started laughing, Anakin ran into Obi-Wan's quarters, surveyed the scene, and began singing the tenor part for a very stupid made-up song about pink marshmallow unicorns. Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee, in the middle of packing for the trip, heard the noise- their adjoining quarters were not far around the next bend of the long hallway- and ran in. Ahsoka started screaming and wouldn't stop. Barriss took one look at the scene in front of her and passed out on the floor, right into a bowl of pink cake frosting, for Satine's Ninja Turtle baking project.
Aayla Secura was sneaking along the hallway, going to meet Kit Fisto for a secret romantic, candlelight dinner, when she heard loud crashes, screams, hysterical laughter, and someone singing tenor in a horrible song. She picked up her comlink and slammed right into Kit. Apparently there had been a mix-up, and he thought he was supposed to come for her. He was wearing a tuxedo, swim fins, and carrying a bouquet of roses. He screamed like a girl upon impact with Aayla and fell to the floor, yelling, "RABID, MUTANT UNICORNS ARE ATTACKING! HELP!"
Aayla clapped a hand over Kit's mouth. "SHH!" She whispered loudly in Kit's ear. "We have to find out what's going on!"
Kit tried to say something, but since Aayla's hand was clapped over his mouth, he could only mumble. As she pulled him to his feet, a small velvet box fell out of his jacket onto the floor.
OKAY! CUT! THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! KIT!
"Well, I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault, Miss Authoress! Aayla tried to pick my pockets when she pulled me up!"
Aayla, is this true?
"NO!"
Okay... let's see, how do I fix this?
*Luna Lovegood runs over and whispers something in Kit's ear, then runs away, giving him the thumbs-up*
*Kit gets down on one knee* "Aaylas'ecura, will you marry me?"
LUNA! BAD SUGGESTION! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROPOSE LATER IN THIS GODFORSAKEN STORY!
"But, Miss Authoress, there were Nargles floating around his head when he dropped it, so if he didn't do something right, the story may never sort itself out!"
Luna, that makes no sense whatsoever.
"Oh, yes, I know. Isn't that the point, Miss Authoress?"
*grumbles* Whatever. Luna, go chase Legolas...
*Luna runs off to chase Legolas, who screams like a girl and runs*
Okay, good. People, let's take this from the top. Get those cameras rolling... aaand... ACTION! *claps loudly with one hand*
So where were we? Oh, right. Kit dropped his jacket. He managed to pick it up quickly, and Aayla didn't even notice the suspicious, velvet-sounding clunk. They peered around the doorway of Obi-Wan's room and were greeted by the strangest sight that both of them had ever seen, individually or not. Kit stood there awkwardly while Aayla picked up a bowl of pink Jell-O with small Ninja Turtle action figures in it, dumped it over her head, and began taking off her clothes. Kit looked around at the total insanity, shrugged, and put his swim fins on his head, then spun Aayla around the room.
Meanwhile, six floors up- Obi-Wan's room was on the seventh floor-, Katia Amidala was trying to get to sleep, despite her cold. It was late, after all... suddenly, music started blaring, as loud as if the girl next door (Zia Secura, Aayla's little sister) had turned her stereo system up all the way. Kat turned over and buried her head underneath her pillow, but it was no use. The music was, if this was possible, louder than before. Even when she turned her iPod up to maximum sound, it didn't do a thing. She growled and got out of bed, grabbing her lightsabers and a few snotty tissues.
She walked down the hall to the lifts and got into one, still wearing her green Wookiee slippers and her nightgown. At each floor she went down to, she would step out and listen. At every floor, the music got louder, but it was positively BLASTING by the time she got to the seventh floor. She got out of the lift there, and dragging her old pink baby blanket- the one with the strawberries on it- behind her, she stomped down the hall.
Obi-Wan's door was open, and the music was certainly coming from there. The lights that spun off the wall in the hallway looked suspiciously like the lights from a disco ball. Katia stepped up to the door and gasped.
Aayla Secura was drinking some kind of wine and dancing around with Satine, Shaak Ti, and Adi Gallia in matching skimpy pink bikinis, all with Ninja Turtle decals. Each had a different Turtle on their bathing suits. Everyone was clapping, and the stereo was blaring, "EVERYBODY CAN-CAN!" Mace Window- oops, Windu- was scowling in a corner with "Kick Me" and "Party Pooper" Post-It Notes stuck to his back end, and Anakin Skywalker was passionately kissing Padmé in another corner. Ahsoka was still screaming- had she even taken a breath since she began several hours ago?- and Barriss Offee was still passed out, not breathing, in the bowl of pink frosting. Katia's eyes grew huge- not because she cared about her sister and brother-in-law kissing, but because of the party at three in the morning. She stepped into the foyer and was immediately hit in the face by a tiny, tiny clone trooper who was covered in melted cheese, obviously from one of the Ninja Turtle fondue pots in the middle of the trashed room. He was yelling like Tarzan and holding on to a small string that was hung from the rapidly spinning ceiling fan.
"FOR THE EMPIRE!" He screamed, clawing at her face.
Katia pulled the cheese-covered Mini Trooper off her and gripped him in a tight hand. "Stay quiet, sleemo, or you'll find yourself in a snot-covered tissue!" She hissed. A loud whistle and the noise of the angry Knight blasting Obi-Wan and Satine's stereo system hushed the party, except for a still hiccupping, still singing obnoxiously Aayla, who giggled and threw her wine into the chocolate fondue pot. Ahsoka stopped screaming, took a breath, her face grew less blue, and she immediately passed out from lack of air on top of Barriss.
"OKAY, PEOPLE! THIS IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I AM SICK, AND SLEEP IS ALL I WANT RIGHT NOW! ARE YOU %&$**&^ SLEEMOS TOO DAFT TO UNDERSTAND THAT?"
Mace Window got up from his chair and said, "Uh, Knight Amidala, we apologize sincerely for this anomaly-"
"SHUT UP, DONKEY-BUTT! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HALF THE WORDS IN THAT LAST SENTENCE MEAN!" Katia screamed, blasting Window and Satine's prized Ninja Turtle costume out the window.
Satine screamed louder than Katia, which was impressive. "NOT MY MICHAELANGELO COSTUME!" She wailed, dropping to her knees in front of Obi-Wan. "OBI, MY LOVE, GET ME ANOTHER COSTUME, AND I SHALL MARRY YOU AND BE YOURS FOREVER!"
Obi-Wan grinned. "Oh, Satine, I shall get you ALL FOUR OF THE COSTUMES! YOU CAN WEAR ONE AS YOUR WEDDING DRESS!"
"Agreed." Satine said, dumping a bowl of Jell-O over Aayla's head.
Ten minutes later, Katia had managed to kick everyone out of Obi-Wan's quarters and tie them up in the hallway, with specially ordered noise-proof gags. She stomped back up to the lifts, went all the way to the thirteenth floor, collapsed on top of her huge hellhound, Mrs. O'Leary, and fell asleep. It had been a long, long day.
A/N: Yeah, we knew that was stupid... whatever. It's just up here 'cause it was Harriet's idea... I'm Katia, by the way. I wrote most of this chapter, with Harriet's wonderful help! If you don't understand it, just PM FaveGreenSaber... I'll do my best to explain, as will Harriet.
Thanks for reading! ~Katiana'Akar and Harriet~