"Hello Arthur."
Hello Arthur? After nine years that is all that she can say? Thought Arthur.
"You were gone…" Arthur whispered.
Uther was not looking at his son, but instead glaring at Morgana. "Well aren't you going to say hello to your sister Arthur?" Uther muttered, the sharp edge to his voice was not lost on Arthur, even in his shattered state.
"She… is…. not… my sister!" Arthur spat. The word sister combined with Morgana made his stomach crawl. "She is not. She may be your ward, but no blood is shared between us!" Arthur couldn't bring himself to look at Morgana again. If possible, she was even more beautiful than she had been nine years ago.
"I can't be here right now." Arthur pushed past the guards at the door and nearly ran out of the palace.
"Arthur!" He could hear that voice calling for him again, only this time it was real. Not a dream. But Morgana, there, in the palace. "Arthur please stop!"
"Stop!" Arthur called out as he continued down the corridors. He could hear Morgana following him. Those footsteps were as familiar to Arthur as his own heartbeat. "You want me to stop? That's rich coming from you!"
"I understand that you're hurt!" Morgana called as Arthur reached his chambers.
"Hurt? You give yourself much, too much, credit. You were gone for nine years, Morgana! Why couldn't you have stayed that way?" Arthur stopped at his door. Hands on the handles but unable to walk away from her. Not like she had.
"I had things to settle here…" She had come to stand right next to him.
"Things to settle? And what would they be?"
"Please don't be like this, Arthur." Morgana put her hands over his own but Arthur shoved her away.
"Don't touch me!" Arthur kept his head down, stare at the floor. How easy it was to pick up old habits, he thought.
"Arthur…" Morgana's voice was pleading. "Just… talk to me. There are things you need to know."
"No." Arthur said with finality in his voice. "There were things I needed to know. When I was sixteen, I needed to know why you left. When I was sixteen I needed to know what I had done. When I was sixteen I needed to know why I wasn't enough. Now, I just need you out of my sight." But Arthur didn't move from the door. He didn't go inside it, he just stood, waiting for Morgana to make the next move. As always.
"I didn't want to." Morgana simply said and slowly put her hand on Arthur's arm and slowly kissed his cheek.
Arthur's eyes closed at the contact. Memories flashed through his mind at the speed of light. And just like in the dreams, Arthur opened his eyes and Morgana was gone.
As Guinevere entered Arthur's chambers he nearly ran over to her and grabbed the servant girl and pulled her into a kiss. It was one of the rare kisses where their guards were both down, Guinevere wasn't thinking of her servant status, and Arthur wasn't thinking that he was a prince, but this kiss was dangerous, Arthur had other things on his mind, things concerning Morgana.
Arthur had been careful with Gwen, not to let his past with Morgana affect his present with Gwen, but he had been a fool to think it wouldn't. After a few moments, Gwen pulled back from the kiss and cupped Arthur's face in her hand.
"Arthur? What's happened?" With that Arthur pulled away from Guinevere and turned away from her.
"Nothing. There are matters I must attend to. Excuse me." And with that Arthur walked out of his chambers. Arthur felt his cheek burning from where Gwen touched him, the same cheek that Morgana had planted her kiss. Arthur needed to get out of the palace. He needed to get away from everything there. No Uther. No Gwen. No Morgana. Then the feeling that there was a hole in his chest would go away.
"He threw the first punch." Arthur slurred as Merlin helped him back to the castle. Arthur's hands were bloody from the punches and Merlin was nearly pulling him back to the castle.
"I'm sure he did Arthur. I'm sure that's also why he was beaten to a pulp and why you're face is relatively clear of any bruises."
"I didn't say it was a good punch." Arthur laughed. "What would I do without you Merlin?"
"Get arrested in pub brawls and have your father disinherit you. And you might die. Well-you would probably die."
"Oh, that's no fun."
"Somehow, I don't think you're thinking about fun."
"Nope. I'm not thinking about fun. I'm thinking about the giant hole of pain that my life has become. Nothing has changed between Guinevere and I. Morgana is back. And to top it all off, my manservant is my best friend… Life is peachy."
"When are you going to learn that everything could be so much worse? You could have my life, and a royal prat is my best friend." Merlin dropped Arthur's limp body into his chambers.
"You… I do not like." Arthur said as he drifted off to sleep.
"I'll take it from here, Merlin." Arthur heard as his vision came back into focus.
"No!" Arthur shouted as he sat up, his head spinning. "She can't be here…" Morgana's eyes met his for but a second but Arthur felt all of the air leave his lungs, and with that, Arthur's walls went up. "Merlin, please see Morgana out. Her services are not needed."
Merlin moved to grab Morgana's arm but she shook out of his grasp. "We must speak soon, Arthur. There are things you need to know." And with that, Morgana swept out of the room and Arthur flopped back onto the bed.
"Wow." Merlin exclaimed. "What could she have possibly done to you to make you act like this?"
"The past doesn't matter, Merlin. I need to know why she's here now. Can't you just do some," Arthur motioned his hands, "Some, bipity-boppity-boo, and tell me why she came back?" Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur.
"You know, I really regret telling you about that. My workload just keeps increasing, finding out Morgana's secrets was never in the job description." Merlin laughed.
"It's just a simple, little thing, Merlin. Shouldn't be too difficult, even for a complete idiot like yourself."
"No, no, it is not a simple little thing. It's a small spell that could have many unforeseen consequences that would lead to countless lives being in danger, including my own, and ramifications that will follow me for years. But yes, that would be so much simpler than just talking to Morgana… What an ass am I! Oh wait, that's you."
Arthur lowered his eyes and averted the gaze of his friend, "I can't talk to her." He mumbled.
"And why's that?"
"It's too complicated to explain… I can barely make sense of it myself."
"Well if that's the case, I have an idea. I can show you the moment again. If you really can't understand it."
"And that's less difficult than what I asked you to do?"
"Well, no. But I'm much more interested in this." Merlin smiled at Arthur, who couldn't help smiling back. Now, shut your eyes and think of the moment you want to go back to. Arthur did as instructed while Merlin muttered something in another language. And then he was falling…
Arthur woke to a field before him. It was familiar to him; he and Morgana would take walks there when they could barely stand the castle any longer.
"This is where you wanted to go?" Arthur heard Merlin ask as his friend appeared behind him.
"You're going to be here too?"
"What can I say? I'm curious!" Arthur would have remanded his servant about spying had it not been for sixteen year old Arthur and Morgana walking through the field.
Arthur was in awe, she was so lovely. He black hair was a perfect contrast to the bright meadow behind them and sixteen Arthur was staring at Morgana, the exact same way that present Arthur was: with pure adoration.
"I'll miss you when you go." The young Morgana said as they sat down at the base of a tree.
"You will?" No one could miss the hopeful tone in Arthur's voice as he said it.
"Of course I will. You're special Arthur." Arthur turned his head away from the girl as he was blushing but she gently put her hand on his cheek and guided his face to look at her. "Not as a prince, but as you. I've never known anyone like you in my life."
"I could say the same for you. I just can't walk away from you as easily as I can others."
"I've known you my entire life Arthur Pendragon, I know you'll be back. But I wish you didn't have to leave."
"The battle won't be that worrisome. I've been on plenty of battlefields before." The stubborn pride in his voice was not lost on Morgana.
"But they were only a few days, at most. You'll be gone for months now. I won't even know if you're coming home or not." A tear slid from the girl's eye and the young Arthur slowly lifted his hand to brush it away. Arthur kept his hand on Morgana's cheek for a long moment, his eyes not leaving hers and suddenly Arthur grabbed her for a kiss.
It was a frantic kiss, one filled with fear and anxiety, just waiting to be pushed away but Morgana did not. Arthur pulled back and looked at Morgana once more before leaning in for a much gentler kiss. Their lips barely touched as Morgana put both hands on Arthur's face.
"Please don't go." She whispered. "Don't leave." Morgana then pulled back from Arthur and pulled at the ties on his shirt.
"Morgana…?" Arthur wondered.
"No thoughts. No regrets. Just now. Don't leave me." And with that they began kissing again. Exploring each other as the world sunk away from them.
"Stop it now!" The older Arthur said to Merlin. "I can't be in this place anymore." And then the field began to disappear and there was only blackness.
"What happened after that?" Merlin asked Arthur quietly as they rose from the stupor.
"I left the castle the next day for a battle in Ireland. I came back four months later and was told that Morgana had left the kingdom and I was not permitted to visit her."
"That was the last time you saw her? In the field?"
"Yes, she would not come see me leave in the morning. She did not want me to leave. She said she had dreams, terrible dreams of my fate. But I left anyway. And she did, as well." Merlin simply stared at Arthur as he hid his face in his hands. "It's been nine years, Merlin. Why now?"