A/N: Well, we've moved on from the realization to the next step. What is this next step of falling in love? ...D-E-N-I-A-L! Yes, now comes the very annoying denial that you always see. "Of COURSE Ash and Gary couldn't be falling in love with each other, because that would make them gay..." That kind of stuff! But we know that's not true! Those yaoi fans know the truth! And I'm not saying I am one of them, I just have recently realized how adorable this pairing can be! And...and..and...
*Composes self* Sorry. I've been drinking lots of coffee to keep me up to write this chapter. -.-' I guess I won't be sleeping tonight at all... *Headdesk*
And I want to sit here all my life alone
This may sound a little rough, don't wanna fall in love
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This may sound a little rough, don't wanna fall in love
This mat sound a little rough, don't wanna fall in love
This may sound a little fucked, don't wanna fall in love
- Don't Wanna Fall In Love, by Greenday.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Pokemon. And...given the circumstances, I wouldn't try to take rights to it because I don't wanna risk getting sued for everything to my name.
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~Five Steps To Falling In Love~
~ Step #2: Denial ~
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The bell suddenly rung, signaling that class was finally over. Ash was relieved beyond anyone's imagination, because this lesson seemed to drag on longer than usual.
It wasn't just because he was always so bored with history, and didn't see the need in learning about past events, no, ever since he had realized that he found his childhood/current rival to be kinda sexy...well, he's just been a little disturbed ever since. This was just crazy, and so sudden. He couldn't possibly think of him this way, there was two reasons why he couldn't feel this way.
One: that would make him gay. True, he's always been oblivious and careless to the opposite sex in the past and spent more time with the same, Ash only thought this was because he was just young and didn't understand these kinds of things yet. And two: Gary would probably reject him anyway. The guy didn't seem to wanna fall in love with anybody at all, sometimes. Which really crushed his fangirls' hearts instantly.
He couldn't be falling for him. No, this was just too sudden. Maybe he really is just coming down with something, and is going crazy from it. That's a possible theory...
"Ash, why are you still here?" His history teacher sniffed, giving him a cold glance. "Shouldn't you be going?"
Ash sat back up immediately and glanced around in a fast motion. Sure enough, he was still sitting at the desk spacing out while the last two students were leaving the room. He groaned and slipped out from his desk.
Of course, his teacher was a very observant man. He blinked, studying Ash closely as the confused teenager strode past his desk. "Are you feeling alright? You don't look well today."
"Uh...I-I'm okay." Ash quickly replied, waving a dismissive hand and chuckling nervously. "I just didn't get any good sleep last night!"
His teacher obviously wasn't convinced. Yet he rolled his eyes and waved briefly as Ash hurried out of the room as quickly as possible.
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Ash walked along the halls of the school with his arms behind his head in a relaxed way. His eyes were closed, as he was in deep thought. And although he wasn't proud of it, he knew the entire layout of the school easily and could find his way around even without looking.
Those thoughts he had about Gary during class...they were invading his mind like every second. And it was just so frustrating and confusing. He didn't know what to do anymore, and this was only the second class of the day! How would he be able to go through the other classes sitting in close proximity to his rival? Knowing his suddenly-dirty mind, he would be getting images of him undressing...or even worse: in bondage. Not that his mind wasn't trying to see these kinds of mental images, of course.
"Aw, I'm screwed." Ash murmured under his breath irritatedly, his arms fell limp by his sides and he just picked up his pace. Honestly, he didn't know where he was even going. Just as long as he could escape to somewhere dark and dreary, to clear things up in his head.
"Oh my God!" Ash cringed at that really girly voice, and glanced towards the right to see a short blond-haired girl wearing sweat clothes giggle loudly. "Did you see him today? He's wearing those tight, sexy jeans! I would have so tried to slap that ass if the teacher wasn't staring at us like a hawk!"
Another girl that was leaning against the door, wearing a tank top and frilly skirt that complemented her dark red hair, giggled in response and then covered her flushed cheeks. "I know! I wanna ask Gary out very, very, very badly! I had bumped into him by accident when I was trying to get in line to the water fountain and he winked at me! EEEEEE~!"
Ash just stared and reluctantly listened to their fangirly exchange. He didn't know why, but he had a hunch that it was due to the way they were describing his rival. Their descriptions were surprisingly accurate, not like Ash actually felt this way. That would make him kind of gay, wouldn't it?
"He is so sexy, I can't believe you could contain your dignity, I would have fainted right there!"
"Well, I AM popular with the guys after all..."
"Ha, only in your dreams. By the way, why don't you try and ask Gary out? If you don't, I'll take the chance!"
"I wish I could, but he plays SO HARD TO GET! He doesn't ever really go out with anyone openly, and I heard rumors from Dawn that he likes to play with their affections and drop them without a second thought. So...I don't want to risk the heartache..."
"Not like last August?"
"HEY...! I thought Barry was smiling at me because he liked my flirting attempt, I didn't know it was because I was wearing my shirt backwards and he didn't want to tell me!"
Listening to those girls was becoming much too annoying. And their fangirling really got on his nerves. Ash couldn't help but wonder, why they even tried to pursue Gary if he treated them like shit. It was apparent that he couldn't care less about their feelings anyway.
Giving the infatuated girls a quick annoyed glance, Ash just continued walking along the halls and occasionally greeted some of his passing classmates. Their still was time to get prepared and find out what Gary wanted to talk to him about before math class.
Of course, his mind was everywhere but school. He was getting lost in thought...suddenly seeing these flashback images in his mind about his childhood with Gary. And how exactly they've become rivals in the first place.
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"Ash, there's a new family that's moved in next door to us." Delia Ketchum explained with a kind smile as she and her five year old son stepped out the front door and started walking along the path to the home next door. "They have a son that's your age, and I think it would be nice to welcome them into the town. Maybe you and the boy could become friends or something..."
Ash was now excited, he already had a few little friends that he hung around. But he was wondering what this other boy would be like. He knew you could never have too many friends of course, and was always quick to make another. Would he and the neighbor's son get along? What would he be like?
The walk to the house was short, and the two strolled up to the front door. Once Delia extended a finger and rung the doorbell a couple of times, Ash glanced around the small yard and then he caught sight of an dark red flash from around the back of the house.
Curious, his feet was first to respond instinctively. He left his mother's side and started walking up to the little fence that separated the front yard from the back yard. At first, he wasn't sure how to get over that, and the gate was locked. So he did what any child would do in that situation: he backed up and then started running forward. With a high leap, he had successfully made it over the little fence that was just taller than him and fell into the yard a little shakily onto his knees.
"Ow..." Ash closed his eyes in pain and then glanced down at his left knee; it was scraped from where he had landed against a concrete block, but the skin wasn't broken thankfully. "That's not good..."
"No, no it's not." A voice replied knowingly.
Ash, alarmed by that voice, quickly looked up to see another pair of eyes looking at him in confusion. He realized that there was another boy, his age, crouching to the ground and glancing at the scrape. He had dark red, slightly spiked hair and was wearing a purple t-shirt from what he could see. Ash's mind clicked, and he realized that this must be the neighbor's son his mom was telling him about earlier.
"Are you okay?" The boy extended a hand, like he was about to touch the wound. But he shook his head and quickly brought it back to his side awkwardly.
"I...I think so." Ash jumped up to his feet, and the other boy followed suit a little bit unconvinced. "Anyway, I live next door. My mom told me that there was a family moving in next door, and we came to introduce ourselves. I'm Ash, by the way!"
The other boy blinked. "Oh...okay? I didn't think there were many other kids around here. Well," He seemed more relaxed now and nodded, before smirking. "My name's Gary."
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Every time Ash would think about that encounter they both had, he would involuntary smile a little. Though he tried to fight it. Because truthfully, him and Gary weren't bitter towards each other at first. At first they didn't really see each other all that much after the encounter, only at school or on the weekends usually. But whenever they did see each other, they didn't stay in each others' presence too long.
It actually took a little while for them to start not being all that friendly towards each other. At first, there were these iffy and foreshadowing moments that implied their friendship would turn rocky. Ash could even now to this day remember it well.
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About three years had gone by since they first met. Ash and Gary had the day off from school because of a holiday, and they really had nobody to spend the day with but each other. The two haven't really been in contact or socialized for about a week now, but Ash thought nothing of it.
The usual spot the two boys would meet up was kind of a secret one that both happened to be in the know of. It wasn't too far from their houses, but it was concealed very well beyond a lot overgrown trees and wild plants. It was almost like a clearing almost on the other side with a vast view and beside a small river. This town they lived in was kind of out in the countryside-ish, so yeah.
"Let's go to the usual spot!" Ash urged, almost really impatiently by his tone. "I can't wait to stretch out underneath the sun after all those chores mom made me do this morning!"
Something of a awkward chuckle came from Gary as he was being dragged along by Ash's death grip on his arm, and had no willing choice but to follow. "Hey, just calm down! It's not like anyone else knows about the place and will come take up any space! Ha, unless..." Gary paused, thinking for a moment as they arrived outside the clearing and his cramping arm was released. "Unless you've opened your mouth and told somebody."
That last statement caught Ash's attention, he whirled around and gave him a puzzled look, trying to find out what he was attempting to imply. "What? No, I haven't told anyone at all about this place."
"Not even your mom?"
"Nope."
"Isn't that kind of cold?" Gary noted. Ash didn't reply and sheer awkward silence overcame them. "Forget it. Just teasing is all."
Ash shrugged his shoulders and didn't give a second thought about what Gary just said in defense. He wanted to let this subject go, but something told him not to. And he was inward battle over what to do.
"Oh, it's alright then, Gary! It just kind of seemed like...you were hinting that I'd do something stupid an' tell everyone about this place..."
"Well, I was." Gary murmured, glancing away as if he didn't want to look into Ash's confused dark brown eyes that were locked on him. "I wouldn't do anything stupid like that though. I can really think on my feet and come up with good ways to dodge without telling the secret. Is there a problem, Ash?"
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"I can't possibly be falling for him. Not after all that's happened between us." Ash murmured quietly, almost depressed even as he made his way towards his own locker that was conveniently close to his rival's. Many other passing students had been giving him concerned looks because it was not in his character to be all mopey like this. He usually was full of spirit between classes. "Besides...how would he react if he found out I'm starting to see him in a different way? Would he just reject me? Would he...possibly...maybe...somehow...kind of..." A light shade of crimson crept up all the way to the tips of his ears, which surprisingly stood out even tough his skin was a little bit tanned from summer vacation.
Ash could suddenly remember why him and Gary even became rivals in the first place. He was not sure, he was getting so nostalgic all of a sudden, but he figured it was better to think of the past than something else completely different yet really appealing. Which will not be mentioned for the sake of the rest of his sanity.
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Now ten years old, Ash and Gary really have been kind of drifting apart in their unlikely friendship. They barely ever spoke or hung out at places. It might have been because Ash had been making friends with so many more people; specifically this slightly-older boy named Brock and this red-haired tomboyish girl named Misty. And Gary had realized that he was not so into having many people close to him like Ash does, he's become kind of distant. And cocky because he's realized how he's gotten really talented with various things from schoolwork to simply playing a game of basketball or something. And many other kids in school have realized this fast and were fangirling/fanboying over him.
It was a Saturday afternoon for Ash. A very boring one at that. He wanted somebody to talk or hang out with. But Brock was busy trying to catch up on homework and Misty was out at the local swimming pool with her older sisters. Everyone else he knew particularly well like these two just didn't feel like hanging out at the current time. He yawned and rolled over onto his left side from his bed.
That's when he suddenly remembered that there was one person he could hang out with. A certain red-haired boy whom he hadn't really been keeping in touch with lately. Surely, on a boring weekend like this, Gary would have to be free for once, right?
After a few moments of hearing the phone ring on the other line, Ash finally received an answer. But it wasn't Gary's voice, it was more of a quieter female one.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Mrs. Oak! It's me, Ash, I called to talk to your son. Is he there?"
"Gary...? Wait a minute, he's here in the same room. Let me ask if he can come to the phone. Will you hold?"
"Sure."
Ash waited for about ten seconds. Afterward, the same female voice returned.
"I'm sorry, but Gary just walked out the door without saying anything. I caught him murmuring some stuff about 'talent' and 'sports'...God, I don't know what he was talking about. But however, you might still be able to catch him before he leaves."
"Thanks, Mrs. Oak!"
"No problem. Bye."
So after hanging up the phone, Ash shouted a quick goodbye to his mom and quickly walked out of the house.
Since Gary apparently didn't hear him, Ash decided to trail him to where ever he was headed. After some confusing turns and twists, Ash discovered that Gary was walking to that 'secret spot' that the two of them used to play together at. It wasn't really so secret anymore after two years. They both kind of matured mentally and realized it was strange to keep it hidden. Though Ash was reluctant about telling other souls because the place actually meant something to him.
Memories.
After arriving at the 'secret spot', Ash stayed low for a little bit. He peeked through the bushes to see that Gary was all alone this time. That was strange, as he was pretty popular suddenly and always showing off and bragging around other kids. In fact, he didn't look quite as cocky or hotshot-ish like usual. Ash almost thought that he looked...frustrated and thoughtful? Huh, that was weird. Ash was very curious now, so he got up and skillfully slipped through the thorns on the bushes over to where he was friend was.
Ash greeted him normally, but Gary didn't expect it and nearly jumped a few inches off the ground before quickly composing his self and muttering a reply back like always.
"So what are you doing here alone?" Asked Ash curiously as he took a seat by Gary on the grass. He cocked his head to the side. "If I had known you were coming, I would've tagged along too with some other kids-"
"No...I just wanted to be by myself for a little bit. There's something bothering me, actually." Gary's tone was unusually low. And it was really weird, considering that he almost always spoke with confidence in it.
"Ah..." Ash snapped a finger and then smirked. "So tell me about what's bothering you! Wait, uh, is it about what Misty spread around school about you cheating on that test? Because I don't believe that one's true and-"
"It's not that. I've been thinking..." Ash blinked, not realizing where he was going with this. "Well, I just don't think we should really hang out any more. I feel like we just aren't cut out to be friends. You get what I'm sayin', Ash?"
"What?" Yes, it was a lame reply. But Ash was too shocked to really think of anything else to say.
"Sometimes...people have to go their separate ways. It's no big deal, really." Gary continued, now sounding like this was a normal routine for him and that he was bored. He put his hands in his pockets and brushed past him. "See you around. Glad you followed me here when you did, or else I'd be going crazy over how to tell you without you getting offended."
"...Wait, I am kind of offended." Gary, maybe a little bit surprised admittedly, turned around. "But if that's the way you want it to be, then fine."
Gary was silent for a long time, and didn't ever reply to that. But he did flash him a smirk and then took his leave causally. While Ash just decided to sit there for a while and register in his mind all that had just happened in those few minutes. It all came down on him and he just silently and slowly sat back down on the grass.
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And not too long after that, they both decided to become rivals. It was later close to sundown and Ash had decided to go fishing in that river in the 'secret spot'. He had hooked this real big fish, he had seen it flop and jump into the air gracefully while he tried to reel it in. But then he noticed that his soon-to-be catch had another hook in it's mouth. Sure enough, his suspicions were correct. Gary was on the other side of that river with his own fishing pole. The two had a big battle over how would catch that fish. Whether they were being serious or not, Ash still didn't know why. But in the end, the weight finally proved to be too much for the poles. The hooks broke off, Ash and Gary both fell backward onto the ground, and the fish swam away for it's life. Neither had gotten the catch and were frustrated at the other person.
It was at that moment that they realized how natural competing with each other felt. Almost like it were meant to be. The adrenaline rush, the feeling of frustration entangled with a hint of wanting to do it once again, it felt right. So right there, at that moment, they declared themselves rivals. And the rest was history.
Since then, for six years, they've competed over almost everything. From grades, to sports, fishing, and just about anything that was a part of their daily lives! Ash had noticed for a while that Gary really was kinda skilled at a lot of things, forcing himself to be a little bit envious and want to surpass him someday. But secretly, he admires him and always had.
The fact that he was suddenly seeing him in a whole different light...it was kind of embarrassing, really. He was becoming attracted to him, and that made him gay. Not that he was against that sort of thing, he just knew that not everyone in the world accepted gays. And many thought of one liking the same sex was un-natural, gross, or twisted. But if you truly loved that person, did it really matter what sex either of you are? Who are other people to say what sex you should fall for? Hell, some people in the world didn't care at all about crossing those lines and fell head over heels for either! Ash shifted his eyes and glanced at some of the passing students, he knew that even if he maybe were falling for Gary, he'd have to be very discreet starting now. Because if word got out, rumors would spread, and then he'd be rejected by some of his peers due to their own disagreement with his sexuality. And not to mention that Gary may not accept his feelings, nor his own close friends, or his mother.
Geez, life officially sucked for Ash.
The weight of his problems suddenly fell onto his shoulders and he sighed tiredly. He glanced up, and froze in the middle of walking immediately. Literally in fact, because he couldn't make any movements whatsoever; they wouldn't agree with what his brain was trying to direct them. He could see a familiar face mere inches away from his own.
Gary's face, much to his discomfort.
Quickly, Ash jumped back and stammered a greeting. He could feel his face suddenly burn as if it were on fire or something like that. Which, he wouldn't doubt it. He had felt like he had gotten absolutely lost in those gorgeous eyes...
Oh shit, he just had to think they were gorgeous! What was he thinking?
"Oh, you're finally here." Gary nonchalantly greeted, apparently oblivious to Ash's obvious nervous state. "I was beginning to think you forgot or something. Though, that would be like you."
Ash swallowed and tried his best to be all upbeat and ready to do anything like he usually was. But due to being tired as hell, and trying to denial his sudden thoughts about his rival, that was impossible. "I read your note in history class...what's up?"
"Wait," Gary raised a hand. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You've been wandering around like a zombie today, nearly falling asleep, your stammering, and now your face looks redder than my own hair. I wanted to talk to you, because this is really freaking me out! I feel uneasy..."
"What?" Ash furrowed his eyebrows together and pointed an accusing finger. "You could've just asked me that after class while we were leaving, Gary! Why would you go through all the trouble to write a message, risk getting caught by the teacher while sending it, and set up this little confrontation, JUST to ask me that?"
"Yup. Pretty much. I like to make things more interesting...and maybe test you to see how eager you would be to find out what I wanted to chat about. Haha, you're still the same. That's good to know at least."
Ash could only stare. But he finally recovered, and smacked a hand to his forehead, allowing it to slowly fall of and retreat back to his side. He realized that they had just wasted a good amount of time with this confrontation, when he could have been preparing for class. But on the other hand...it was nice to speak with Gary again. As he didn't do it too often. And plus, getting to see him once again in those tight and sexy jeans- and he was getting much too far with these thoughts!
"But seriously...why are you like this all of a sudden?" Gary inquired, this time admittedly more serious.
"Uhhh...ah...it's-it's nothing. I'm probably just coming down with something; it's no big deal! You don't have to worry about me at all!" Somewhere deep down, Ash so knew this was more than just some illness that could be cured fairly easily.
For some strange reason, the last part of Ash's reply had really caught Gary off guard. The part about where he pretty much mentioned he thought that he was worried about him. His eyes widened briefly in surprise and his cheeks lit up bright red instantly, but he wouldn't allow himself to be caught off guard like this. "Whatever. But, I wasn't worried or anything..." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and brushed past Ash, trying to walk away as quickly as possible, but not too fast. He couldn't let him see that he was a little embarrassed after all.
Just as Gary had made it a little distance away, he sighed and then turned his head around to look at Ash over his shoulder. Something of an attempted genuine smile was trying to sneak slyly onto his lips, yet he tried to fight it back. "Feel better, man." And he didn't wait for a response, he just started walking off to the next class as the bell begun to ring.
Ash didn't hear that bell. All he could do was stand there frozen in place by the lockers, and here Gary's last statement ring and repeat in his mind.
~End of Chapter~
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Yes! I finally finished writing the second chapter! Woo hoo, take that writer's block! Did-ja like the chapter...? Did-ja REEEEEALY like it? Oh my god, I'm jittery! I'm so jittery! I can't stop shaking, I can't stop pouring more coffee into my cup! OOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOD, WE'RE DOOMED!
Sorry about the crazy talking, I really am kind of, REALLY jittery from all this coffee and trying to stay awake to update! I shouldn't do this, it isn't healthy probably! I know! *Takes a huge sip of coffee* But it's just like writing shonen-ai; it's way too addicting! D:
I hope you liked the chapter~! More to come, really, really~! Hopefully, I won't be so jittery and crazy from all this coffee by that time! Please read and review, and all that stuff!
*Instantly crashes, falling out of my computer chair and curls up in a ball on the floor as I pass out*