Chapter Two
We walked until dusk. It had seemed so much shorter in the movie, but maybe they cut a scene. We trudged through the muddy undergrowth until I thought my feet would fall off. Finally, I heard voices. Lots of voices.
The ground got softer and squishier. We squelched through the mud and caught sight of light up ahead.
"Aw, finally," Mike groaned behind me, "my feet are killing me."
"It's the swamp!" Mell cried and despite our soreness, us girls started running towards the light, with it growing ever larger and the voices ever louder. I could barely hear Mike yelling at us from behind. I bumped into Sara and Mell as they stopped short at the top of the hill.
Over the entire span of the swamp at the bottom of the slope were tents upon tents and thousands of strange creatures. Voices were shouting, singing, crying and laughing.
"Are you fairy tale creatures too?"
"Who said that?" Sara jumped.
"Down here. I said, are you fairy tale creatures too?"
It was Pinocchio. He was short and thin with skinny wooden arms coming out from his sleeves and his trousers were cut short at the knee. His wooden nose was short.
"Well, no WE aren't," Mell replied, "but he is." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at the stumbling Mike, hollering at us.
"Ah. Well, come and rest yourself anyhow. We have plenty of room."
All of a sudden, Pinocchio's nose grew about a foot.
"Oops, hehe, well, darn nose won't let me hospitable. We actually are pretty full, but we'll try to fit you four somewhere. Perhaps in the house."
The little wooden man led us down the hill and through a tiny path that wound around the tents. We reached a little clearing of people where there stood a small house, made up of natural elements. Grass grew over the roof and mud was smeared over the windows. A short-legged donkey was sitting quietly (?) on the front stoop. By now, Mike had caught up with us.
"Just give a knock on the door, someone ought to live there."
As we walked towards the front door made of tree bark, there seemed to be some yelling coming from inside the house. I gulped and crept forward. Maybe Shrek was more vicious in real life.
"Howdy folks!" the donkey stood up and said cheerfully.
"Uh, hello Donkey," Sara said awkwardly. The ass walked around and through our legs.
"Wow. You're even taller than Shrek and that's sayin' somethin'. Ya know, Shrek is not in a very happy mood right now and I don't think ya ought to be goin' in there. He kicked me out. It's not that I don't like bein' out here alone. Well, that is, until these people showed up. Boy, Shrek's not gonna like this. I was just tellin' him all the fun stuff we'd do tonight 'cause I don't have anywhere to sleep. We were gonna stay up late, swoppin' manly stories and in the mornin' we were gonna make waffles. Then he got all angry and made me sit out here. I donno why, maybe he don't like waffles. I like waffles, almost as much as parfait. Man, parfait is somethin' else. You ever try parfait?"
The donkey stopped for breath and looked at me. I shook my head, soundlessly.
"Well, ya outta. Ya haven't lived until you've tried parfait. Shrek don't like parfait. I don't think he likes anything. Hey, where ya goin'? We were havin' a real good conversation."
I followed Sara and Mell through the tent path.
"Whew, that's enough of him for now," Sara said over her shoulder, "there'll be more of Donkey on our quest."
"How do you know we're gonna go with Shrek? We haven't even met him yet."
"Well, the way I see it, it's our fantasy. We can go with whomever we want."
"Okay, but I don't think Shrek is gonna take us. He sounded pretty mean to me."
Sara turned around and I crashed into her.
"That donkey is all talk. Literally. Our fantasy has to be exciting. I'm not gonna sit around with these creatures. Where's Mike?"
I turned around. Mike was no where to be found. We searched through every tent and found him sitting in one with a witch. The witch had a crystal ball on the table.
"Mike! Come on! Shrek'll be coming out any minute!"
"Hold on, I'm getting my fortune told."
"Ah ha!" the witch suddenly exclaimed, "You'll meet a most frightening creature of the worst sort. Of what kind, I cannot tell, but it breathes fire."
"Ya see? We were meant to go on this quest now let's go!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!" a loud voice came from the little clearing.
"That's Shrek! Come on Mike!" I pulled him up and we raced downwards to the grassy clearing. A large green-well--ogre stood angrily in front of us. I swallowed with difficulty and listened to his words.
".welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this Farquod right now and getting you all off my land and back where you came from!"
The whole crowd burst with applause and cheering. Shrek looked annoyed and grabbed the donkey and a torch, and started pushing through the crowd. I gasped and ran after him, with my friends running beside.
"Wait!" we screamed. Shrek and the donkey turned around.
"What?" Shrek sounded really pissed off.
"We-um, we, well-
"-wanted to come with you. We know where Dualoch is and we want to go," Sara finished for me.
There was a chorus of 'yeah's.'
"Um, let me think about it.no." Shrek turned and stomped towards the forest.
"But why?" we moaned in unison. Mike even joined in.
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because, because."
"Because, because why?"
"Urgh, just because ok? I don't want this donkey comin' with me, so I certainly don't want a bunch o'kids like you comin' neither!"
Again, he marched away. I was starting to get angry. Now I know how Donkey and Fiona felt. This guy, or-well-monster was out of his mind.
"Come on, you guys," I started to follow him, stomping through the underbrush. We marched into the dark of the trees, following the light of Shrek's torch.
"Bum-BUM, Baa-ba-ba-BUM, bum-bum-baaa-bum-bum-ba-ba-bum, bum!"
"Enough, with the Lord of the Rings theme music, Sara!" Mell yelled over her shoulder and slipped her headphones over her head.
We walked until dusk. It had seemed so much shorter in the movie, but maybe they cut a scene. We trudged through the muddy undergrowth until I thought my feet would fall off. Finally, I heard voices. Lots of voices.
The ground got softer and squishier. We squelched through the mud and caught sight of light up ahead.
"Aw, finally," Mike groaned behind me, "my feet are killing me."
"It's the swamp!" Mell cried and despite our soreness, us girls started running towards the light, with it growing ever larger and the voices ever louder. I could barely hear Mike yelling at us from behind. I bumped into Sara and Mell as they stopped short at the top of the hill.
Over the entire span of the swamp at the bottom of the slope were tents upon tents and thousands of strange creatures. Voices were shouting, singing, crying and laughing.
"Are you fairy tale creatures too?"
"Who said that?" Sara jumped.
"Down here. I said, are you fairy tale creatures too?"
It was Pinocchio. He was short and thin with skinny wooden arms coming out from his sleeves and his trousers were cut short at the knee. His wooden nose was short.
"Well, no WE aren't," Mell replied, "but he is." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at the stumbling Mike, hollering at us.
"Ah. Well, come and rest yourself anyhow. We have plenty of room."
All of a sudden, Pinocchio's nose grew about a foot.
"Oops, hehe, well, darn nose won't let me hospitable. We actually are pretty full, but we'll try to fit you four somewhere. Perhaps in the house."
The little wooden man led us down the hill and through a tiny path that wound around the tents. We reached a little clearing of people where there stood a small house, made up of natural elements. Grass grew over the roof and mud was smeared over the windows. A short-legged donkey was sitting quietly (?) on the front stoop. By now, Mike had caught up with us.
"Just give a knock on the door, someone ought to live there."
As we walked towards the front door made of tree bark, there seemed to be some yelling coming from inside the house. I gulped and crept forward. Maybe Shrek was more vicious in real life.
"Howdy folks!" the donkey stood up and said cheerfully.
"Uh, hello Donkey," Sara said awkwardly. The ass walked around and through our legs.
"Wow. You're even taller than Shrek and that's sayin' somethin'. Ya know, Shrek is not in a very happy mood right now and I don't think ya ought to be goin' in there. He kicked me out. It's not that I don't like bein' out here alone. Well, that is, until these people showed up. Boy, Shrek's not gonna like this. I was just tellin' him all the fun stuff we'd do tonight 'cause I don't have anywhere to sleep. We were gonna stay up late, swoppin' manly stories and in the mornin' we were gonna make waffles. Then he got all angry and made me sit out here. I donno why, maybe he don't like waffles. I like waffles, almost as much as parfait. Man, parfait is somethin' else. You ever try parfait?"
The donkey stopped for breath and looked at me. I shook my head, soundlessly.
"Well, ya outta. Ya haven't lived until you've tried parfait. Shrek don't like parfait. I don't think he likes anything. Hey, where ya goin'? We were havin' a real good conversation."
I followed Sara and Mell through the tent path.
"Whew, that's enough of him for now," Sara said over her shoulder, "there'll be more of Donkey on our quest."
"How do you know we're gonna go with Shrek? We haven't even met him yet."
"Well, the way I see it, it's our fantasy. We can go with whomever we want."
"Okay, but I don't think Shrek is gonna take us. He sounded pretty mean to me."
Sara turned around and I crashed into her.
"That donkey is all talk. Literally. Our fantasy has to be exciting. I'm not gonna sit around with these creatures. Where's Mike?"
I turned around. Mike was no where to be found. We searched through every tent and found him sitting in one with a witch. The witch had a crystal ball on the table.
"Mike! Come on! Shrek'll be coming out any minute!"
"Hold on, I'm getting my fortune told."
"Ah ha!" the witch suddenly exclaimed, "You'll meet a most frightening creature of the worst sort. Of what kind, I cannot tell, but it breathes fire."
"Ya see? We were meant to go on this quest now let's go!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!" a loud voice came from the little clearing.
"That's Shrek! Come on Mike!" I pulled him up and we raced downwards to the grassy clearing. A large green-well--ogre stood angrily in front of us. I swallowed with difficulty and listened to his words.
".welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this Farquod right now and getting you all off my land and back where you came from!"
The whole crowd burst with applause and cheering. Shrek looked annoyed and grabbed the donkey and a torch, and started pushing through the crowd. I gasped and ran after him, with my friends running beside.
"Wait!" we screamed. Shrek and the donkey turned around.
"What?" Shrek sounded really pissed off.
"We-um, we, well-
"-wanted to come with you. We know where Dualoch is and we want to go," Sara finished for me.
There was a chorus of 'yeah's.'
"Um, let me think about it.no." Shrek turned and stomped towards the forest.
"But why?" we moaned in unison. Mike even joined in.
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because, because."
"Because, because why?"
"Urgh, just because ok? I don't want this donkey comin' with me, so I certainly don't want a bunch o'kids like you comin' neither!"
Again, he marched away. I was starting to get angry. Now I know how Donkey and Fiona felt. This guy, or-well-monster was out of his mind.
"Come on, you guys," I started to follow him, stomping through the underbrush. We marched into the dark of the trees, following the light of Shrek's torch.
"Bum-BUM, Baa-ba-ba-BUM, bum-bum-baaa-bum-bum-ba-ba-bum, bum!"
"Enough, with the Lord of the Rings theme music, Sara!" Mell yelled over her shoulder and slipped her headphones over her head.