The Journal of Harry Potter

Friday, June 6, 1997

6:00 PM

# of Chocolate Frogs eaten – 5 (got Agrippa. must remember to brag to Ron)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – unknown (v.v. bad. stomach ache worse)

# of fights with friends – 4 (Ron is being huge prat)

Not really sure how to do this journal thing. Not really sure if I'll keep bothering to write in it. Hermione's idea, really. She prattled on and on about how it's not good to "bottle things up inside" & that it would "be for the best" if I just sat down and told someone – anyone really – about all of the stuff swirling around inside my head. There was also some vague reference to her Aunt Veronica blowing up a pressure cooker one holiday while trying to prepare a special dinner, but I'm not really sure that it was relevant to our rather one sided conversation.

I admit that I made a few pointed (& not very polite) arguments about not blabbering secrets to people with unshielded minds in front of who knows which portraits, ghosts or evil house elves. After being admonished not to be a rude prat (me?), Hermione thrust a book in my hand, tapped it with her wand & flipped it open to a seemingly random page. It was a journal. That particular page detailed two days during our Fourth Year at Hogwarts. In it, Hermione proclaimed Ron to be a prat (which he is), Draco Malfoy to be an inbred snot (which he is), & myself to be hopeless at research (which, unfortunately, I am). There was also an entry in her journal which told about her own research into the golden dragon egg & what the 2nd task of the Triwizard Tournament would be.

Before I could read further, Hermione took back her own journal, closed & locked it with a spell & then smirked. Smirked! Point made, she thrust a different book into my hands, told me to tell it my secrets & then use magic to keep it secure.

Busy-body witch.

11:30 PM

# of Charms cast – 4

# of Hexes cast – 7

# of Curses cast – 2

# of Fights with friends – 1 (Ron is still being huge prat)

This journal is now sealed with 4 charms, 4 hexes and has 2 curses on it for anyone who makes it past the charms & hexes. Other 3 hexes mentioned above were cast at Ron. Hope he enjoys the extra nose in the middle of his forehead, the bloody nuisance.

Several people have gone out of their way to try & apologize for Ron. I get it, I do. He's angry & sullen & feeling betrayed. He's feeling helpless & useless & angry. He wants to hex every Slytherin he sees & chafes at not being allowed to just blast the slimy gits where they stand. I get it. I feel the same way.

I'm also sure that those same people have made it a point to apologize to Ron for my behavior & to explain why I'm being a right git. I know that we'll both eventually calm down, stop taking our anger out on each other & make life hell for those that have truly cheesed us off.

Merlin have mercy on the Slytherins then, 'cause they'll not find any from Ron or me.

I guess we're both just too much alike. Angry & viscous. Vengeful.

Saturday, June 7, 1997

8:45 AM

# of Hexes hurled at Slytherins – lost count (v. good. therapy at its finest)

Amount of breakfast eaten – ½ piece of toast (appetite slowly returning)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – 3 handfuls (big sugar craving still here)

Tomorrow will be one week since Dumbledore's funeral. In two days, classes will resume & the 7th years will take their NEWTS, the 5th years will take their OWLS & the rest of us will revise for our end of year exams.

It seems unreal that life is just going on like the whole world didn't just turn inside out & upside down just a short time ago. I look up to the Head Table & see McGonagall in Dumbledore's chair & I want to scream in denial. Not that McGonagall won't do a bang-up job of it, 'cause she will. It's just wrong to see her there.

I can't even so much as glance at the empty chair left at the Head Table by that bloody traitor Snape or the empty space left behind at the Slytherin Table by the Evil Ferret. Last time I did, my hearing went all wonky & filled with echoes, my vision dimmed to red & my heartbeat thundered through me like a tidal wave. I woke up in the infirmary with Pomfrey fussing only to find out that I'd jumped up & started screaming curses & hexes at the Slytherins. Sent 8 of them to the infirmary. It took the entire remaining staff to contain me & I had all of Gryffindor & Hufflepuff shouting encouragement at me.

Wish I could remember it better.

1:20 PM

# of Laps around Q-Pitch – 104 (v. good to fly without bludgers attacking)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – 3 handfuls (v. bad-not same 3 handfuls as breakfast-total of 6 handfuls and its not even dinner yet)

Very tired & relaxed. Managed to fly my broom until the sugar jitters disappeared. Being on my broom is the second best way to release tension. Cursing Slytherins into a pile of moaning green & silver goo is still my favorite. Then again, watching Ginny cast the Bat-Bogey jinx on Colin and then hexing his own camera to chase him around the common room while taking pictures is kinda fun too. I bet he never spills ink all over her transfiguration notes again.

A hot shower pounding onto over worked muscles followed by a comfortable chair in front of crackling fire should be mandatory to all crabby bastards. I feel like I could actually sleep.

Will trim broomstick twigs tomorrow. Nap now.

8:00 PM

# of Chocolate Frogs eaten – 14 (v. bad-especially since candy stash comes from bunch of 1st & 2nd years trying to appease my temper)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – 1 handful (sent Hedwig to Hogsmeade for more)

# of Hexes hurled at Slytherins – 11 (v.v. good-Goyle will feel that one for awhile)

# of times Hexed – 3 (v. bad-still itch in places not scratchable in public)

# of friendships fixed – 1 (Ron less of a prat, excellent aim with stinging hex)

Dinner tonight was not the greatest I ever had. Still have trouble eating anything not candy, much to Hermione's frustration. Over pudding I suffered through v. uncomfortable conversation about Moody & Shacklebolt taking over leadership of the Order. I respect & admire both men, but neither are Dumbledore. All of us are glad they refuse to use 12 Grimmauld as HQ. Got a cold shoulder from Ron entire time. Prat.

After dinner battle with the slimy Slytherins cheered everyone up immensely. Parkinson should have known better than to insult Dumbledore's memory, however, she looks much better with tentacles growing out of her face. Must remember to have Hermione teach me that spell.

Ron & I dropped our disagreement with barely a glance & hexed Slytherins side by side until McGonagall & Sprout broke it up. Pity, that was a nice little dust up & it felt good to see Goyle's ears expand to the size of a small house-elf's. When Ron's stinging hex sent Parkinson arse over teakettle I wanted to do a quick dance of glee.

Really, Pansy. Wearing purple lace knickers with green sparkles? Only the Evil Ferret would find that appealing.

11:45 PM

# of Chocolate Frogs eaten – 2 (got a Dumbledore card & nearly cried)

# of Pumpkin Pasties eaten – 1 (ta Dean)

# of Canary Crèmes eaten – 1 (that'll teach me to look before I shove something in my mouth-ickle firsties enjoyed it though)

I spent most of evening playing wizarding chess with Ron while retelling battle with Slytherins to 1st & 2nd year Gryffs. I made sure to emphasize Ron & Hermione's contributions. They are both now heroes in eyes of the younger crowd. Apologized profusely to Nev for starting fight when he & Luna were not there to help.

Hermione promised to teach all of us the hex she used on Parkinson tomorrow during our revision study time. (v.v. good) I plan on hitting Malfoy with it the first time I see him again. A few spotted tentacles growing out of his face could only improve his looks after all.

Sunday, June 8, 2006

10:00 AM

# of Treacle Fudge eaten – 8 (v. bad-but not up to Ron's standard)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – unknown (v.v. bad-started downing them by the mouthful instead of one at a time)

This is turning out to be a hugely bad day & it's not even lunch yet. It's exactly one week since Dumbledore's funeral & I think we're all feeling more than a little glum. Not even Hermione showing us all how to cast the tentacle-face hex cheered us up for very long. She wants us to work on revision for the end of year tests that start tomorrow. I can't feel as if it's all terribly important considering everything that's happened, but it'll probably help to think on other things.

10:00 PM

# of Cauldron Cakes eaten – 5 (Dean broke open an entire stash)

# of Licorice Wands eaten – 16 (from care package from Nev's Gran)

# of Bertie Botts Beans – entire bag full

# of Stomach Ache Potions – 1 (v. bad: tastes gross – lecture from Pomfrey worse)

I was right. Today was worse than being forced to dance with a Troll. Think I'll go fly around the Q-Pitch for a while & just stop thinking about, well, everything.

Monday, June 9, 1997

11:30 PM

Candy – 0 (someone stole my stash of hidden Bertie Botts Beans-suspect Pomfrey)

Hermione has started her annual frenzy of study, worry, nagging & subsequently getting top marks. Although for once Ginny is far worse than her. Of course, every 5th year is a bit tense during OWLS so I'll forgive her for the Bat-Bogey Hex. This time.

Random thoughts on the traitor: While revising for the Charms end-of-year, I came across a charm for peeling fruit out of its skin. Spent 20 minutes imagining using this charm on Snape until Hermione nagged me to get back to work.

Thursday, June 10, 1997

9:30 PM

# of Chocolate Frogs eaten – 2 (better)

# of Bertie Botts Beans eaten – 0 (still haven't found a way to keep them – they keep disappearing no matter where I hide them – suspect Pomfrey & McG conspiracy)

Sorry it's been a while. While not as bad as the OWLs were, for several reasons up to and including the Dark Arse, it's still no picnic to take year end exams. Hermione and Neville are heading for mental breakdown city. Ginny is leading the way. Ron & Seamus think that we should get some firewhiskey or some golden brandy & get everyone roaring drunk this weekend. While I'm sure that we (6th years) could use a good twist around the bend, I'm not certain that it's at all a good idea to get Ginny pissed anywhere near me. She's still not that happy with me for breaking up with her, even if she says she understands my reasons.

I sent Hedwig off yesterday with a letter to Moody. Everyone knows that I don't want to come back here next year to finish out my schooling. Most think that it's because I can't stand the thought of being here with Dumbledore dead. I admit that's part of it, but mostly it's because I'm not learning what I need to in order to kill off the Dark Arse. I tried to explain that to Moody without actually going into the details of the Prophecy. I don't know if he already knows & I'll tell him if he doesn't. It's more that I didn't want anyone else to find out if they intercepted Hedwig.

He hasn't replied yet, so I'm not sure if that means he's thinking about it or if he's not even considering it. Like I told him in my letter, I can't be protected from destiny so I might as well get prepared to face it. Sadly, the current 7th year curriculum at Hogwarts will not prepare me to challenge & defeat the Dark Arse. Even if he isn't willing to apprentice me himself, maybe he knows someone who would. Or even a school that has a more aggressive Defense oriented curriculum.

Well, hopefully I'll hear something from him soon.