Battle of the Blond Heroes
Ch.2
By: Destined-Warrior
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, blah blah blah, so on and so on, and etc. etc. etc.
Note: One of the reviews I received was very rude. If you don't like my story, you can say so, but please don't flame me about it. Or if you want to criticize my story, please do so in a constructive way. And don't read it if you don't like it.
*************
(At the Announcer Booth)
Gaffy: Well in the last round Ramza won quite easily.
Wedge: What he means is Ramza right now is winning
Q.Brahne: I will be awarding a prize to the FFT Cid if he can kill the Regent for me. I told you Wedge now I'll be doing the prize giving from now on.
Gaffy: Right, I forgot, this round we see which Cid is the best. *Cough Cough-T.G. Cid will win no problem-Cough*
Wedge: I heard that, but FF7 Cid can win too you know. Not much of a chance, but still a chance. By the way Brahne-exactly what can the regent do-use machines?
Q.Brahne: Actually, I heard he brought a gun. Oh, I forgot to mention he has a Froggy friend with him. If this frog licks you, you turn into one too. So, I think he might have a chance, depending on if that dimwit decides to do something fast.
(At the Locker Rooms)
FF7 Cid: I got this damn f****** battle in the bag.
FF9 Cid: I have a trick up my sleeve.
FFT Cid: I shall cover my back and attack from behind.
FF7 Cid: Poor translations on FFT are what ruined that damn game, and as to why mine is better.
FF9 Cid: Hmm, mine is the best, because it has the coolest graphics!
FF7 and FFT Cid: So, ours had the better stories, and that is what people want.
FF7 Cid: HEY, my game is so F****** D*** better. Your game is a piece of S***
(Here the Cids hit each other with towels)
FF7 Cid: MY GAME IS F****** BETTER!
FFT Cid: NO, MINE IS!
(This goes on for about three minutes)
FF9 Cid: HEY, let's do this in the ring, where we can entertain the readers for a short bit.
(Out in the Audience. This time, you see Ramza, Cloud, and Zidane sit down)
Zidane: If I know the Regent, he has some plan up his sleeve
Cloud: Cid cusses a lot, and he might talk someone's ear off with his bad language.
Ramza: But we all used bad language at least once in the game didn't we?
Cloud: But Cid uses a bad word in like…uhhhh…every sentence you know.
Zidane: Maybe the Regent will wash his mouth out with soap.
(They all laugh)
Ramza: T.G. Cid is cheap, he's a strong old guy, never undestimate them old guys.
Zidane: I dunno guys I really think the regent can win. I outta know, because he discussed his strategy with me ear…
(Here Ramza throws a stone at him)
Ramza: Here monkey-boy, take THAT *throws another stone at him*
Zidane: Dammit, stop THAT!
(Delita walks in with Princess Ovelia)
Delita: Hey all, so what's up? I get to fight later too.
Ovelia: You know, why don't you ever hear much from everyone else?
Ramza: Hey you B****** you didn't give a crap about me in my game!
Delita: YOUR GAME! HEY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOINT PRODUCT HERE????
Cloud: Uhhh, what is he talking about?
Zidane: Hey pretty lady, do you have to fight tonight in the tournament?
Ovelia: Um, yes I do (what a weird looking guy, is that the Zidane fellow Delita told me to look out for?) And Delita, what do you mean by that joint product?
Delita: Uh oh Ramza, she's going to know about the plan…
Ramza: She can't know about your marrying my SISTER!
Delita: SHHHHHHH, you dumb Ass!
Ovelia: What did you two say? Well Delita, I thought I told you not to say bad words? (Grabs him by the ear, and walks off)
Zidane: Ramza, can you and that guy get me on a date with her?
Ramza: Uhhh, don't you have a girlfriend already? Delita needs a harem, so uhhhh…no.
Zidane: Damn! I thought everyone knew that Dagger just sucks!
(Somewhere else in the audience…)
Altima: Why are we here again? (Flips his/her hair)
Kuja: Notice how we all have white blond hair?
Sephiroth: *Sigh* White blond hair is a sign of evil, and we are here to prove that one of us is the best villain.
Altima: Oh, that's right, I forget.
Kuja: By the way Altima, wanna go on a date later?
Altima: Uh, no, I think I'm a guy. The game says I'm a girl though…
Sephiroth: When we fight, part of the plan is to get rid of Cloud, Zidane, and Ramza.
Kuja: I forgot that part of the plan. So which round do we fight in?
Altima: It's the fourth round.
Sephiroth: Damn, we must wait another two rounds of watching goody two shoes fight. Still, fun to watch good guys beat up good guys.
(The girls have a talk)
Dagger: We fight the next fight right Eiko?
Eiko: Yep, by what they say, we are the girlfriends that love the hero.
Dagger: Time to prove which of us is better for Zidane right?
Vivi: I'm fighting too. They couldn't figure out if I was a girl or a boy, so they let me fight.
Eiko and Dagger: WEIRD!
Tifa: I have fists of doom, and Aerith and me are smart! We actually have our limits filled out. We did this about two days ago, so be prepared, because our moves don't miss.
Aerith: He he.
Rafa: Ramza has the most girlies after him (here Agrias, Meliadoul, Teta, and Alma appear)
Rafa: That makes uhhhh five of us.
Everyone but the FFT people: Damn!
(At the Ring)
Gaffy: Finally, I got bored of audience talk.
Wedge: This battle might be more fair, hey Brahne, what are the things our players have to worry about this time?
Brahne: Well, there outside of the ring, you see rabid dogs ready to chew you to pieces.
Wedge: There's more right?
Brahne: Oh yes, electrical traps will sometimes stun our players, and with those metal weapons…
Gaffy: We'll be seeing a good show! Yeah!
Brahne: If T.G. Cid happens to get lucky and kills the regent, I give him a feast of rare food later.
Gaffy: Oh yes, let's introduce the different Cids. There has been a Cid in every Final Fantasy since 4.
Brahne: But we aren't going to get into that right now. Anyway, here comes Cid Highwind, a pilot of an airship. He cusses a lot.
Wedge: And here comes T.G Cid, also known as Orlandu. He is a master of many swordskills.
Gaffy: And the last one to come out is the Cid from FF9. He's a regent of the kingdom of Lindblum. Holds some sort of hunting contest every year. I'm going to be in the next one. Oh, and Brahne hates his guts.
Brahne: Darn tootin'. Anyway, on your marks, get set, GO!
Gaffy: What did I tell you that was for already Brahne?
Brahne: I don't care I like repetition.
Wedge: She's weird….
(The Cids anyway, charge for each other)
FF7 Cid: Hey Orlandu, bet you can't f****** win this damn fight without using those s***** swordskills.
FFT Cid: How 'bout I promise I won't use 'em (crosses his fingers)
FF9 Cid: Yeah, I bet you don't keep promises.
(Here Cid from FF7 charges with his best weapon and hits the regents coat. This causes his froggy friend to pop out and hit Cid Highwind. Cid is now a frog, and Orlandu tries to stomp on him. After two minutes of chasing him, he stomps Cid Highwind. Cid curses every curse word he knows before he dies. The Regent's Froggy friend jumps out of the ring and gets eaten by rabid dog. At the same time, the Regent grabs out his gun, but gets hit but a lightning bolt. Orlandu decides he should quickly win the fight, so pulls out a sword. He realizes he accidentally had grabbed his katana a day before. Knowing now he won't be able to be cheap, he charges at the Regent. A lighting bolt then also hits Orlandu. The Regent had a rubber suit on for some weird reason, and then regained his posture. Seeing Orlandu nearly dead, he just shoots him in the heart. He then knocks him over into where the rabid dogs could be found.)
FF9 Cid: Ha, I won Brahne, so go on, say it!
Brahne: *grumble grumble* Okay, Cid from FF9 won.
(Gaffy looks shocked): I-can't-believe-he-won. That wasn't supposed to happen was it?
Wedge: It shouldn't have, but it did, the points Brahne…
Brahne: Okay…
Ramza-1 Cloud-0 Zidane-1
Brahne: Well, can Cloud's game characters win any fights?
Gaffy: I really don't give an f***, I just want to see the next fight.
Wedge: Cussing is bad you know…
(A lighting bolt strikes Gaffy)
Brahne: HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! You deserved that. The next battle is where all of the men's girlfriends shall fight to prove which girlies are not so girlie after all.
Wedge: I won't be surprised to see some infighting on….
All: BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck, this story is nuts, but please review this story.
Ch.2
By: Destined-Warrior
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, blah blah blah, so on and so on, and etc. etc. etc.
Note: One of the reviews I received was very rude. If you don't like my story, you can say so, but please don't flame me about it. Or if you want to criticize my story, please do so in a constructive way. And don't read it if you don't like it.
*************
(At the Announcer Booth)
Gaffy: Well in the last round Ramza won quite easily.
Wedge: What he means is Ramza right now is winning
Q.Brahne: I will be awarding a prize to the FFT Cid if he can kill the Regent for me. I told you Wedge now I'll be doing the prize giving from now on.
Gaffy: Right, I forgot, this round we see which Cid is the best. *Cough Cough-T.G. Cid will win no problem-Cough*
Wedge: I heard that, but FF7 Cid can win too you know. Not much of a chance, but still a chance. By the way Brahne-exactly what can the regent do-use machines?
Q.Brahne: Actually, I heard he brought a gun. Oh, I forgot to mention he has a Froggy friend with him. If this frog licks you, you turn into one too. So, I think he might have a chance, depending on if that dimwit decides to do something fast.
(At the Locker Rooms)
FF7 Cid: I got this damn f****** battle in the bag.
FF9 Cid: I have a trick up my sleeve.
FFT Cid: I shall cover my back and attack from behind.
FF7 Cid: Poor translations on FFT are what ruined that damn game, and as to why mine is better.
FF9 Cid: Hmm, mine is the best, because it has the coolest graphics!
FF7 and FFT Cid: So, ours had the better stories, and that is what people want.
FF7 Cid: HEY, my game is so F****** D*** better. Your game is a piece of S***
(Here the Cids hit each other with towels)
FF7 Cid: MY GAME IS F****** BETTER!
FFT Cid: NO, MINE IS!
(This goes on for about three minutes)
FF9 Cid: HEY, let's do this in the ring, where we can entertain the readers for a short bit.
(Out in the Audience. This time, you see Ramza, Cloud, and Zidane sit down)
Zidane: If I know the Regent, he has some plan up his sleeve
Cloud: Cid cusses a lot, and he might talk someone's ear off with his bad language.
Ramza: But we all used bad language at least once in the game didn't we?
Cloud: But Cid uses a bad word in like…uhhhh…every sentence you know.
Zidane: Maybe the Regent will wash his mouth out with soap.
(They all laugh)
Ramza: T.G. Cid is cheap, he's a strong old guy, never undestimate them old guys.
Zidane: I dunno guys I really think the regent can win. I outta know, because he discussed his strategy with me ear…
(Here Ramza throws a stone at him)
Ramza: Here monkey-boy, take THAT *throws another stone at him*
Zidane: Dammit, stop THAT!
(Delita walks in with Princess Ovelia)
Delita: Hey all, so what's up? I get to fight later too.
Ovelia: You know, why don't you ever hear much from everyone else?
Ramza: Hey you B****** you didn't give a crap about me in my game!
Delita: YOUR GAME! HEY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOINT PRODUCT HERE????
Cloud: Uhhh, what is he talking about?
Zidane: Hey pretty lady, do you have to fight tonight in the tournament?
Ovelia: Um, yes I do (what a weird looking guy, is that the Zidane fellow Delita told me to look out for?) And Delita, what do you mean by that joint product?
Delita: Uh oh Ramza, she's going to know about the plan…
Ramza: She can't know about your marrying my SISTER!
Delita: SHHHHHHH, you dumb Ass!
Ovelia: What did you two say? Well Delita, I thought I told you not to say bad words? (Grabs him by the ear, and walks off)
Zidane: Ramza, can you and that guy get me on a date with her?
Ramza: Uhhh, don't you have a girlfriend already? Delita needs a harem, so uhhhh…no.
Zidane: Damn! I thought everyone knew that Dagger just sucks!
(Somewhere else in the audience…)
Altima: Why are we here again? (Flips his/her hair)
Kuja: Notice how we all have white blond hair?
Sephiroth: *Sigh* White blond hair is a sign of evil, and we are here to prove that one of us is the best villain.
Altima: Oh, that's right, I forget.
Kuja: By the way Altima, wanna go on a date later?
Altima: Uh, no, I think I'm a guy. The game says I'm a girl though…
Sephiroth: When we fight, part of the plan is to get rid of Cloud, Zidane, and Ramza.
Kuja: I forgot that part of the plan. So which round do we fight in?
Altima: It's the fourth round.
Sephiroth: Damn, we must wait another two rounds of watching goody two shoes fight. Still, fun to watch good guys beat up good guys.
(The girls have a talk)
Dagger: We fight the next fight right Eiko?
Eiko: Yep, by what they say, we are the girlfriends that love the hero.
Dagger: Time to prove which of us is better for Zidane right?
Vivi: I'm fighting too. They couldn't figure out if I was a girl or a boy, so they let me fight.
Eiko and Dagger: WEIRD!
Tifa: I have fists of doom, and Aerith and me are smart! We actually have our limits filled out. We did this about two days ago, so be prepared, because our moves don't miss.
Aerith: He he.
Rafa: Ramza has the most girlies after him (here Agrias, Meliadoul, Teta, and Alma appear)
Rafa: That makes uhhhh five of us.
Everyone but the FFT people: Damn!
(At the Ring)
Gaffy: Finally, I got bored of audience talk.
Wedge: This battle might be more fair, hey Brahne, what are the things our players have to worry about this time?
Brahne: Well, there outside of the ring, you see rabid dogs ready to chew you to pieces.
Wedge: There's more right?
Brahne: Oh yes, electrical traps will sometimes stun our players, and with those metal weapons…
Gaffy: We'll be seeing a good show! Yeah!
Brahne: If T.G. Cid happens to get lucky and kills the regent, I give him a feast of rare food later.
Gaffy: Oh yes, let's introduce the different Cids. There has been a Cid in every Final Fantasy since 4.
Brahne: But we aren't going to get into that right now. Anyway, here comes Cid Highwind, a pilot of an airship. He cusses a lot.
Wedge: And here comes T.G Cid, also known as Orlandu. He is a master of many swordskills.
Gaffy: And the last one to come out is the Cid from FF9. He's a regent of the kingdom of Lindblum. Holds some sort of hunting contest every year. I'm going to be in the next one. Oh, and Brahne hates his guts.
Brahne: Darn tootin'. Anyway, on your marks, get set, GO!
Gaffy: What did I tell you that was for already Brahne?
Brahne: I don't care I like repetition.
Wedge: She's weird….
(The Cids anyway, charge for each other)
FF7 Cid: Hey Orlandu, bet you can't f****** win this damn fight without using those s***** swordskills.
FFT Cid: How 'bout I promise I won't use 'em (crosses his fingers)
FF9 Cid: Yeah, I bet you don't keep promises.
(Here Cid from FF7 charges with his best weapon and hits the regents coat. This causes his froggy friend to pop out and hit Cid Highwind. Cid is now a frog, and Orlandu tries to stomp on him. After two minutes of chasing him, he stomps Cid Highwind. Cid curses every curse word he knows before he dies. The Regent's Froggy friend jumps out of the ring and gets eaten by rabid dog. At the same time, the Regent grabs out his gun, but gets hit but a lightning bolt. Orlandu decides he should quickly win the fight, so pulls out a sword. He realizes he accidentally had grabbed his katana a day before. Knowing now he won't be able to be cheap, he charges at the Regent. A lighting bolt then also hits Orlandu. The Regent had a rubber suit on for some weird reason, and then regained his posture. Seeing Orlandu nearly dead, he just shoots him in the heart. He then knocks him over into where the rabid dogs could be found.)
FF9 Cid: Ha, I won Brahne, so go on, say it!
Brahne: *grumble grumble* Okay, Cid from FF9 won.
(Gaffy looks shocked): I-can't-believe-he-won. That wasn't supposed to happen was it?
Wedge: It shouldn't have, but it did, the points Brahne…
Brahne: Okay…
Ramza-1 Cloud-0 Zidane-1
Brahne: Well, can Cloud's game characters win any fights?
Gaffy: I really don't give an f***, I just want to see the next fight.
Wedge: Cussing is bad you know…
(A lighting bolt strikes Gaffy)
Brahne: HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! You deserved that. The next battle is where all of the men's girlfriends shall fight to prove which girlies are not so girlie after all.
Wedge: I won't be surprised to see some infighting on….
All: BATTLE OF THE BLOND HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck, this story is nuts, but please review this story.