New chapter b/c I wanted to post the next one.
Drabble two- The mother he hardly knew
Kankuro's childhood was very vague to him at times. He had grown up in so much pain and quickly that he never really got to enjoy a simple childhood. Instead of playing at the playground with the other children of the village, Kankuro had been forced into earlier training. He never gained any friends, seeing as his father had forbid him from speaking or hanging out with anyone the Kazekage found worthy. And the Kazekage found everyone unworthy…. So Kankuro grew up quite alone with Temari as his sister and his best friend. A strange thing in itself, but it came to pass.
His memory of his childhood was a very bleak and short lived on. At times, he would have sudden flash or a warm feeling in his heart at a random sight like a mother rubbing the top of their child's head affectionately. The feeling in his chest made it seem like he had had similar sensations once, long forgotten and not attached to the person he had become. Really though, there wasn't much worth remembering from his younger days. They had been dark and lonely, filled with Temari, puppets, and occasionally his younger psycho red headed brother. But there were strange images that shone through sometimes. And they were all mostly about one person: his mother.
Kankuro couldn't really remember his mother as a person. She had been there, yes, but his time with her had been short and spent, leaving nothing behind but small things he hardly remembered. What he did remember at times was the light touch that would seem like a phantom sensation on his neck and back, it would always startle him when he felt it. Sometimes it felt as if his mother was around, still lingering after death.
Another strange occurrence was his memory of her light singing voice .Every night as a child, his mother would sing for him. He could remember none of the songs or their meanings, but at quite times, like when he was working on his puppet, he would find himself humming a tune that had no words and would never have them to Kankuro.
Small things like that were all that was left of his mother to him. He didn't even really know what she looked like, although he suspected Temari carried some of her features in her own face. He knew he hadn't gotten any genes of outwardly appearance from anyone but his father, a disappointment to him, seeing as Kankuro wished he had taken more of his mother's attributes more than the man who had perpetually ruined all their lives.
But there was nothing he could do about that, his face forever meant to look like the man that had once been something to them, but was now simply a gathering pile of bones in the cemetery. In Kankuro's mind, the 4th Kazakage belonged there and he hoped he was enjoying whatever personal hell he had metaphorically and maybe even figuratively dug himself into.
Seeing as he looked like his father, Kankuro had no real show of what his mother looked like. The kazekage had rid of as much evidence of her existence as possible after her death, including photographs. He knew Gaara had a framed picture of their mother in his possession, but Kankuro could not ask for it. He didn't really want to ask for it. He figured it was better not to have a mental picture of something he could never have: her love.
But despite the fact he had nothing to work off her attributes with himself, he looked to his siblings. He knew that they looked more like her than he ever would.
Temari was closer to the appearance of their mother than the three. In most regards as her parental and sisterly role as a child to him, he sometimes attempted to imagine his mother and got nowhere farther than Temari's face. In some moral standards, Temari was his mother and his sister at the same time. Although, she could never give him the same love as a mother, she tried to instead. That was what probably put her up in his mind as a motherly figure, but despite all that she had been to him, he knew what attributes that were not their fathers.
Temari's rounded softer feminine face was defiantly adopted from the woman their mother had been. Her soft figure and slender arms and legs also probably had been donated from the older women. A mystery remained at where Temari had gotten her golden locks, seeing as one of the few things Kankuro remembered about his mother was that she had light brown hair. He didn't know but he saw much of what their mother was in Temari. He could also see their father in her, even though she would deny every word of it if questioned. Despite her sense of wrong and right being straight, her temper and determination was defiantly a quality given by the father. At times even when Temari's eyes were lit up for the kill or win, he could see the same spark their father had had right before he was about to divide and conquer some new territory. It was strange thought that she could have any personality traits of their father, but he supposed since he was their biological father, it was bound to happen. She would always be more like their mother though; Kankuro was certain.
Gaara was a different story. Kankuro couldn't really see much of either parent on the surface of Gaara. His appearance somewhat slimed but yet at the same time not feminine; although his features were more rounded and softer than their fathers had been and what his own was. The red hair was a complete confusion in itself and Kankuro figured it was either caused by Shakau or had been a very dominate unresponsive receive gene. If the earlier one was true, Kankuro always tried to imagine Gaara with chestnut brown hair like his; he couldn't. Disregarding his appearance though, Gaara's personality was a strange one. He had been a complete maniac as a child, but now as his goals were set and his temper and anger completely evaporated. If Gaara got even remotely upset by something now, he was really upset. Kankuro could never tell if this new personality was intended to be the younger Gaara's original shy and drawn back one or if his drastic change had reverted him to this. Kankuro would never know seeing as he had never really gotten to know Gaara all that well as a child. The puppet-ninja always liked to think Gaara had always been the way he was now, and at times he felt the compassion and simplistic care Gaara showed through his impassive face was a sign of their mother. Kankuro would never know though; he was only happy for Gaara that he had gotten an even amount of genes to warp most of their father out of him. It was something his body had seemingly never learned.
At times when Kankuro thought hard enough about himself, he hoped his personality was nothing like his father. His appearance was so completely like the man and Kankuro didn't know if he would ever be able to live with himself if he found out he was too much like the previous Kazekage. Whenever he thought he showed signs of being like him, his mind went back to the fact his father had always thought him too weak and soft hearted, favoring Temari over him for being the bolder of the two. He felt Kankuro wore his emotions too easily and acknowledged not even puppeteer training could wipe the fact away that his emotions were what he based his life around. He didn't know his mother, but he felt that was what she must have been like. For his father hated him for it so, Kankuro suspected it probably reminded him of the woman he had put forth as a scapegoat for the village.
His mother was mystery to him none the less though. He would never know her until he joined her in death he suspected. Yet at the same time, as he lived, fought, and breathed with his siblings at his side; he felt he knew her better than he ought to. For she had given him one of the greatest gifts of all: a family.