Sitting.
I have been sat here for longer than I know. An unknown bar, an unknown seat, unknown drinkers and an unknown face. The bar man refills my glass with a clear liquid and I smile an unknown smile. I didn't order this he placed it in front of me stirring me from my thoughts, my head lifting from my hands. He can tell I don't belong here and that I don't want to tell him why. He nods an understanding and I stay.
Pouring.
They poured down my face for days. The tears only stopped a few hours ago and I had to get out. I couldn't stay in the greyness that is the state of 5s safe houses abroad. I promised myself I'd find a place to stay, a job, a new life but it's too soon. They poured down my cheeks but they will pour no more. I have to be strong now I'm out here alone.
Drinking.
I take the liquid into my mouth. It's fruity but the kick is definite. It assaults you after a few seconds. I let it settle in my mouth and then swill it slightly relishing its release. Turning to drink is not an option for me, I won't let myself rely on the demon it can become. I might not be me anymore but I still want to be true to myself.
Watching.
There's a group in the corner, huddled, sharing secrets, lives. A couple talk at a table, he stokes her hand and she leans reassuringly towards him, smiling sweetly. Only they exist. Two men scan the bar, spy me and resign themselves to the foam left in the glass with dejected looks, eventually returning home as the bubbles disappear. They don't know what they have. Neither did I.
Reflecting.
I've never been a fan of pubs but now I'd happily never leave one. I enjoyed anonymous company now a friendly word I would do a lot for. The loneliness of knowing I'll never go back again, to that life, to that warmth. No-one knows me here, I don't even recognise myself. I'm changing. My name, my manner, my thoughts are even evolving in to the legend I've become. But I still know one thing. I'd give my life for him again.