This Chapter is Dedicated
To:
Carlo
A friend, a Pretend Father Figure and a Memorable Member of the SENIO12S Family
May your soul rest in peace and may God, the ever loving Father, fill your heart with nothing but love and happiness
You will always be remembered
Tinkerbell Effect
Written by:
13ISMYNUMBER
/./
Him: You know you'd always be my best friend, right?
Her: Exactly.
Sometimes I wish I'd stop being one then maybe you'd fall in love with me instead.
/./
-13ismynumberQUOTES
Part II
Smoke Your Heart Out
Sometimes I wish that we could just go back before the fame…
When it was always Peter and Tink…
Before the story began and Wendy came…
The time when it was just you and I against the world.
But it's too late now, isn't it?
Do know that when I made a choice to be your best friend and hide my growing feelings for you, I did it not because I thought I have no chance with you…no…I did it because somehow, I know I want to be the girl you'd point to when they ask you who you can't live without and not just the person you love.
13ismynumber
From: Tammie
Message: OI! It's all over town, queen bitch is spreading the word. THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER.
13ismynumber
From: Louis
Message: Summer! I'm so happy! We're back together, can you believe it! ;)
13ismynumber
From: Jazz
Message: Hey, lovely. Are you going to work today?:)
13ismynumber
From: Louis
Message: Hey, Summer? Jazz said you didn't go to work yesterday. Are you okay?:( I haven't seen or heard from you the whole day either. Are you mad at me or something? xx
13ismynumber
From: Louis
Message: Summer! I know you're avoiding me…I haven't seen you for two days!:( Even Jazz doesn't know where you are. Come on, bes, tell me what I did wrong. I'd make it up to you, I promise!xx
13ismynumber
From: Tammie
Message: I know where you are, bitch. Don't worry. I won't tell your bastard of a best friend. I told him you've been out with me majority of the time. The idiot actually believed it. HAHA. You owe me. Xxx
13ismynumber
Summer sighed as she continued to read through her messages.
She had been locked up in her room for two days now. Her mother, who only got back yesterday from her trip, was oblivious to it all, although, she did ask her why she wasn't hanging out with Louis. Summer just waved her off.
Summer knows she doesn't have any right to avoid Louis and be depressed.
But can anyone really blame her?
She found her best friend kissing his ex when he told her that he was going to meet an old friend. He lied to her, no way around that. Why couldn't he just come clean about it in the first place? Why did he have to lie through his teeth and leave her worrying that he did something stupid because he's sad?
She was so worried about him.
And what was he doing?
He was getting back with his ex.
Summer groaned.
The logic is so twisted.
She didn't know if she hates Louis right now because he lied to her or because he lied to her plus the fact that he has to be so stupid yet again to go back into that fucked up relationship with the girl she can't help but despise.
The worst part of it all was that she just met the boys and she ended up looking stupid as she ran back inside her house, slamming the door behind her.
She groaned even more as she pushed her face further into her pillow. She screamed. Louis was making her so mad, so confused and so hurt all together. Why can't the situations be as simple as before, when they were fighting over who should push the swing and be on the swing first? Things were so simple back then. She was Summer and he was Louis.
Now, she was Summer, the best friend of Louis Tomlinson.
And he was Louis Tomlinson from the boy band One Direction, boyfriend of Cassidy Marks.
She pushed herself up from her bed. She ran her hand through her frizzed hair. She felt gross with herself. She grabbed her towel from her chair and headed for the bathroom.
A long bath was what she needed.
13ismynumber
The shower was running on her body, the warmth relaxing her tensed up nerves. She sighed in contentment. The closed curtains around the shower kept the warmth in.
Her peace was shattered when the bathroom door creaks open and lightly closed.
"Mom?" Summer tried to guess who it was. She turned off her shower to hear better around her surroundings.
"No."
She knew that voice anywhere. How can she not when she had heard it evolved from the childish high pitch to the deep, hoarse, thanks to puberty voice?
"Louis? What the fuck are you doing here?" Summer shouted as she tried to think if her towel was near enough for her to grab.
"You're avoiding me." Louis said, pain was heard from his voice. For once, Summer was thankful she cannot see his face.
Summer held the curtain close to her body as she shot her hand out and felt the wall for her towel. Once she did, she did a little happy dance in her head before grabbing it and wrapping her body.
"I am not." Summer denied, she was still behind the curtains.
Somehow, she would not allow that a boy would see her only covered in a towel…even if he was her best friend.
"You are. Stop denying it." Louis said, his voice breaking.
Summer closed her eyes, leaning on the wet wall behind her. "Well, you ignored me."
"What?" Louis' voice got louder.
"You ignored me…for the past year, Lou." Summer explained. She swallowed the lump on her throat, thankful yet again that they were separated by the cloth, where he can't see her and she can't see him. Their expressions won't be a weakness to each other.
"I didn't! I sent you gifts!" Louis reasoned his voice still loud.
Summer scoffed. "Yeah! Was I really that materialistic in your eyes? And besides, those gifts only come once in a blue moon, Lou! I'm your best friend; I need to speak to you! I'm not like Cassidy that you could just warm up to with gifts! You know that." Summer reasoned out as well, her voice getting louder.
"Well, I'm sorry for being busy!" Louis shouted with sarcasm.
"Yeah, that's exactly the excuse that I've been telling myself but you know what, Tammie was right, no matter how busy you are or how tight your schedule is, if you really did care, if you really valued our friendship, you would've at least tried to reply, if not always, at least more often." Summer held back a sob, a tear suddenly rolling down her eye.
"My calls went to voice mails, my e-mails and texts were all ignored. I feel like I'm like the other fans you've got, lucky if I get a glance at you in person!" Summer shouted, trying to make sure her voice never broke once.
Louis fell silent. He slowly walked towards the curtained shower, lifting his hand to draw it back.
"I'm not a fan, Louis. I'm your best friend." Summer spoke up once more, trying her best to remind him of who she was in his life before the fame.
His hand fell back to his side.
He feels so horrible.
"I'm sorry." Louis said softly but he knew she heard it because he heard her move inside the shower.
"Yeah, I know…" she paused, "Me too." When she said the last two words, both knew she wasn't sorry because she ignored him. No, her tone said otherwise. It was as if she too was sorry for letting herself look so stupid just for Louis.
Louis tried again. "Summer, I—"
"I know, me too." Summer said, her voice becoming more snappy and forced.
Louis' hands fisted by his side, he knew that there was nothing left to say. It was time to leave and just walk away.
Louis turned, opening the door slowly. Before closing he turned to her, although he cannot see her, he still did. He then said, "I just thought you should know that I'll be leaving tonight. Cassidy invited me to a vacation trip to Florida."
He waited for her reply.
He stood there, waiting.
When he didn't hear anything, not even a shuffle inside the shower, he sadly and slowly closed the door behind him.
13ismynumber
Summer lit another cigarette and placed it in her mouth, she took it in. She closed her eyes.
She had promised herself to stop smoking, roughly around 7 months ago. That was the time when, after a month of sulking without her famous best friend, she had gotten over her break up with her d-bag of a boyfriend.
So why was she slowly killing her lungs yet again?
On a swing in a park filled with kids nevertheless?
Simple because she feels like shit and the confusing thoughts mixed with the ever confusing logic versus feelings had given her no space to breathe properly and she wanted nothing but to smoke.
"I thought you quit smoking." Tammie sat on the swing next to her.
"How did you find me?" Summer said, her voice a tad bit hoarse from the smoking.
Tammie rolled her eyes. "I texted Jazz, you weren't at work; I checked your house, your mom was surprisingly there but not you; and when I went to Louis' house, which was where I was expecting you'd be, you weren't. So, the next thing on the list was the park, the place where you usually stay when you needed some thinking done."
Tammie knew her well. Every thought, every word that would possibly come out of her mouth, Tammie already expected. Summer didn't need to tell her anything, she just knows. And sometimes, she can't help but wish that Louis could be like her.
You know, just there for her.
"What happened?" Tammie finally asked as Summer brought the cigarette back to her mouth.
Summer puffed out smoke before speaking. "Louis cornered me in my bathroom."
"What the hell?" Tammie said, shouting.
"Not like that." Summer immediately said. "I was in the shower, curtains were drawn and I had a towel on my body."
"Oh. Okay, go on." Tammie said.
"And well, he said I was avoiding him, I countered by saying that he ignored me. He didn't understand. So, I explained. I told him that he ignored me for a year and that you were right, if he really valued our friendship, he would've tried his best to keep in contact. He would've tried to be there. You know. And then it ended up with him apologizing and me saying, I know, me too." Summer explained as nonchalant as she could.
"Wait a second! You apologized?" Tammie said, clearly not liking what she did.
"Not like that! I apologized not because of ignoring him but because of letting myself be so stupid by letting him ignore me and our friendship."
Tammie sighed in relief. "Good girl! Then what happened?"
"He told me he's going to Florida tonight…with Cassidy."
The words flew out of her mouth, stinging ever single part of her. She breathed on her cigarette, trying to numb the sting.
"And you said?" Tammie asked, her voice soft.
"Nothing."
How cliché, she said nothing. Summer looked at Tammie, who was drawing out a pack of cigarette and opening it. She grabbed Summer's lighter and lit one for herself.
"I thought you hate smoking?" Summer said in disbelief.
"What's the difference between first hand and second hand smoking anyway?" Tammie pointed out, clearly remembering how her father always smokes.
Summer rolled her eyes, taking the pack and lighter from her hands. "It's more dangerous?" She said with sarcasm.
Tammie puffed out her smoke, coughing in the process. Summer ignored her.
"So, are you guys still best friends?"
Summer shrugged.
Tammie stood up, throwing her cigarette on the floor and stomping on it. "This is why he keeps doing it, Summer."
Summer looked up at Tammie, clearly not getting anything she just said.
"Because you're always there!" Tammie exclaimed at her. "He knows that if he made so many mistakes, if everybody hates him, if he needs fixing, you're always going to be there, which is why he never stops being such an idiotic bastard!"
Summer's eyes widened as Tammie's voice got louder, as if she wanted to drill all her words inside Summer's head. "Think about it."
Tammie lowered herself, meeting gazes with Summer. "How long are you willing to bruise yourself for a guy who can't even fight for you?"
The question was left hanging and was slowly drilling not only into Summer's brain but into her heart, painfully. The cigarette on her hands fell to the ground and Tammie's eyes followed it.
"I know you're in love with him." Tammie spoke up, looking down on her shoes.
Summer bit her tongue from speaking.
"And he'll probably never know…unless you," Tammie pauses, "Unless you tell him now." She gave her friend one last look before walking away.
Summer closed her eyes, gulping.
Tinkerbell Effect…that certain outcome when you chose to be his best friend more than being somebody else in his life, more than being his Wendy, didn't she choose that a long time ago? She chose to be his fallback girl.
So, why does she still feel like this again?
There it was again, the feeling of breathing underwater, the same feeling of when the walls just suddenly close on you, cutting your air source. She was in pain…and she knew it was growing by the second, ready to have her writhing soon.
She felt her hand on the pack of cigarette and her lighter…
It was time to light another one.
13ismynumber
The cold summer night breeze flew her way as she breathed in the smoke in. She puffed it out.
Four hours in that swing and half a pack later, she couldn't fight herself anymore. She knew that Tammie was right. He kept breaking her because she allowed him to, because despite it all she still don't want 15 years of friendship to fly right out of the window.
She brought the smoke to her lips for one last time before throwing it on the ground and stepping on it. She fastened her pace on the cemented pavement, afraid that if she doesn't get there soon, she might change her mind again along with her fee and back out.
Her eyes looked at the familiar neighborhood. She took a sharp turn and headed for the porch stairs. Biting her lip as she slowly brought her hand to ring the doorbell.
The sound added to her nervousness and she can't help but think that she wanted another cigarette.
"I'll get it!" She heard just as the door opened and it revealed Harry Styles.
"Hello." He said in his posh Cheshire accent.
Summer forced a smile, trialing her eyes behind him to get a glimpse of the inside. When she didn't see much she said, "Can I please speak with Louis?"
"Who's as at the door, mate?" Zayn came behind Harry.
"Summer, she's looking for Louis." Harry answered him.
Zayn brought an arm around Harry and said, "He's not here. He left for the airport just a couple of minutes ago."
She was too late.
The pain in her heart starts again, and the world starts getting smaller and she wants to have that cigarette more than ever now.
"Go after him." A voice behind her said.
It was Tammie.
"Tammie! What are you doing here?" Summer said, as Tammie went up the porch stairs. The boys were quiet.
"Doesn't matter. You have to tell Louis." Tammie said, urging her to go after him.
"What do you have to tell Louis?" Harry spoke up.
Summer was about to answer but Tammie beat her to it. "Something she should've told him a long time ago."
Summer gave her a look and Tammie just shrugged it off.
"Well, Harry can give you a ride!" An Irish voice suddenly joined and was squeezing himself to be visible on the other side of Harry. "Won't you, Harry?"
"I'll borrow the keys from Mrs. Tomlinson." Harry said in a tired voice as he pushed Zayn and Niall out of his way.
"Thank you!" Tammie shouted back at Harry.
"Can I come?" Niall asked Summer.
She looked at Tammie and then back at Niall who was making a cute face at him. She laughed lightly before nodding.
"Yey! I'm gonna go tell Daddy Direction!" Niall shouted as he ran back inside.
Zayn looked behind him as he heard Liam said, "What? You want to go back to the airport?"
"Yes! Only because Summer, you know Lou's bestie, is going and I want to see the look on his face when Summer tells him whatever it is!" Niall says.
Liam groans. "Zayn! We're going to the airport!"
Zayn shrugs. "Well. That was fast."
Tammie giggles and Harry returns with the keys. He starts heading for the car with Naill and Liam following right after him. Tammie happily goes down as if what was about to happen won't be a drama filled one. Summer sighs and Zayn stops beside her.
"You smoke." Zayn says. "You don't happen to have an extra with you now, do you?"
Summer feels the pack and lighter on the back of her jeans.
If she was going to do this with the chances of losing Louis Tomlinson forever, she wasn't going to turn to something that could kill her. No, she was not ruining her life yet again for a guy. She learned her lesson…and it was a fucked up one that she will never forget.
She took it out and handed it to Zayn. "Here, have them." She started to go down the steps when she turned to Zayn and said, "I quit."
13ismynumber
You were my Peter Pan and I was your Tinkerbell.
While she…
She was your Wendy.
I want you to feel the same way about me, but I don't think that's ever going to happen…because you can't love me when she's all you can see.
I won't be replying to reviews today…everything is just a blur for me right now and I'm tired…Sorry. Aside from the tragic happenings to my friend, I also happen to have a lot of drama in my own home. So, please do understand. Thanks.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed and prayed for my friend. Please do continue praying for his soul. He's in a happier place now. Please include him in your prayers and as well as his family and his girlfriend who is having a very hard time. Her name is Bea. So, if you can, do include them in your prayers again. Thank you so much.
Stay Safe.
Xoxo,
13ismynumber