So, this is my first chapter. I had to upload this because there's some trouble with the uploading thing...

Anyway, I decided to publish this one first so I can fix the problem.

The songs down there are the songs I was listening to while I was writing the chapter, so maybe you'd like to listen to them as well while reading.

Enjoy! :)

-MW-

Chapter 1

"Yesterday – Leona Lewis"

Bella's POV

You wanna know what I keep thinking about? That Sunday morning we spent together before you left for that meeting with Carlisle. I got up early and made your favorite breakfast because that was the day you guys were finally going to legalize your partnership. I was so thrilled for you. And everything seemed to be going right that day. I mean, how could it not, right? If I remember correctly, the sun was shining so brilliantly through the kitchen windows, the air was crisp and clean, and I didn't leave the pancakes on the stove for so long this time. I remember you didn't fail to point that out.

I took in a deep breath and smoothed the skirt of my black dress. I walked over to my full length mirror and examined myself, but all I saw was you. In me. I saw your hair color, your eyes… I saw you. I looked down, willing the tears not to come, hoping that all of this would just go away. Then I broke into sobs, holding my chest tightly, trying to breathe properly again.

After a while, I got up and fixed my appearance again. This would be the 8th time I've done that now. My mascara was all over my face, my cheeks now overly red as well as my nose from all the crying.

"At least put some lipstick on!" Alice would have said to lighten up the mood. My best friend, always trying to be the optimist.

I didn't care for my appearance anymore. I could look like a garbage dump for all I knew, and my father still would have told me that I was the most beautiful thing in the world. So I just wiped my tears and mascara off my face, ran my hands through my hair a few times and headed out the door.

My room was right next to the stairs so the moment I stepped out, I already heard the sobs and murmurs from downstairs. I shut the door quietly and slowly trudged down the stairs, my feet feeling like they weigh a ton.

I stopped halfway down the stairs and sat on a step, scanning the room below. Nothing. All their faces are just blurs to me. But I did see Alice with her family in the far corner of the room. She was looking around for someone and stopped when we locked eyes. Her eyes were very soft and apologetic and I returned her expression with the only thing I could give her at the moment: emptiness. I felt so, so empty without my dad. Ever since my mom left when I was 7, we were all we had. We learned to support each other through everything. Even though I didn't understand what he did for a living that much back then, I always tried to be there for him, especially when he came home from a bad day at work.

I looked at Alice again only to find her gone from her previous position and from the corner of my eye, I saw her make her way up the stairs, approaching me slowly.

"Bella…" she sat and put an arm around me. She sighed and I leaned on her shoulder. We sat like that for a few minutes until she started again. "Bella,"

"I know." The host should never be absent when there is a gathering of his invitation. One of the lessons my father taught me. I took a deep breath, stood up and made my way down the stairs with Alice following behind me.

How could you leave me, dad? All these people… How could you leave me to fend for myself over here? You know how much I hate crowds. Talking about you in the past tense… And perverted old Mr. Black. I'd really like it if he didn't touch me so much. He's so creepy, I always told you. I wish he'd get his hands off of me right now. Who does that anyway?

"Bella!" a gruff voice said from beside Mr. Black. Oh thank goodness!

"Emmett." I immediately excused myself and went straight into Emmett's arms. He was Alice's older brother and he treated me like his sister as well. He was tall, with a body like a bodybuilder, his muscles were huge. Sometimes I was afraid that he'd squish me to death.

"Hey, Bella." a softer voice came next to Emmett. I looked over his arm to see a tall blonde woman, who was so gorgeous that simply looking at her would take a shot at your self-esteem.

"Rosalie…" I hugged her next. "How was Alaska?" Rosalie and Emmett had been in Alaska for the last few months vacationing, but they took the first flight out of there when Alice called and told them the news.

"We can talk about that later, sis. Right now is something more important." We weren't actually sisters. My dad unofficially adopted Rose and her brother, Jasper, when their mom ran off too with another man ten years ago. I was just ecstatic to have more siblings in the family. I gave her a weak smile and noticed that there were a few more people standing close to us.

"We're all here for you, Bella." Someone said behind Rose. He had blond wavy hair and wasn't as tall or as built as Emmett. He wasn't alone though, next to him was a couple that looked more like teenagers than adults. They both had fair skin but the man had light blonde hair while the woman had a brown-caramel color to hers.

"Jasper… Esme… Carlisle…" I went over and hugged all three of them as best as I could, but my arms weren't that long.

The Swans and Cullens have been competing in the corporate world for as long as I can remember now. But ever since my dad and Carlisle ended that foolish game, things have been going better than ever, especially now that the companies were interdependent.

"We're so sorry for your loss, Bella," Esme said. How come when she said it, it didn't sound like she was saying it merely out of formality? It felt so sincere. She looked down at her feet, shifting her weight and then with hesitance in her eyes she said, "I know that it's too soon, but, we want you to know that you are always welcome in our home." She said with a smile.

This time it was Carlisle who spoke, "I know that all of this" he gestured to the room with his hand "can be quite overwhelming, but we just want you to know that we are always here for you - whatever you need. Charlie wouldn't want you to be alone, especially now." He said.

I started to tear up, feeling nothing but pure sincerity coming from them.

"Thank you so much… I know that you and my father were very close, and I really appreciate everything you've done for us…" I said as I gave them a hug.

"Aw, come on, Bella! Now you're going to make me cry!" Emmett said with mock tears as he gathered us all in his arms and gave us a bear hug.

Even tangled with the Cullens in Emmett's death grip, I couldn't help but smile, a real smile for the first time. I could feel the love glowing from them, and it was infectious. This is what I know what me and my father had. What, I know now, I will never stop having because of these wonderful people.

A passer-by would have simply thought, judging from everybody's dark attire, that a funeral was being held. But the people present here, mourning my father's death, knew better. We were mourning the death of a great man. A man who, not only loved the people around him and what he did but succeeded in it as well…

"My father's business wasn't the only outstanding thing about him. He had many friends from all over the world. Everybody loved him, some would even confide in him about anything.

"Even if he had his own problems to deal with, whether it was at work or at home, he always stepped up to the plate. He gave everything he had into whatever he did because he believed that people deserved the best. He believed that every human had untapped potential within them, that they needed to harness their greatness and put it to good use to make the world a better place. He believed in the goodness of people's hearts, hence his many charities to others like the joint Charity Ball we have every year..."

I told you so, dad. I don't think anybody understood what I was talking about up there. You see that guy in the back texting on his phone? And there's a woman in the middle that looks like she could break the lawn chair anytime now, I'm guessing she's trying to balance herself on it. Some guy in the second row had the nerve to fall asleep! And creepy Mr. Black over there just keeps wiggling his eyebrows at any woman he makes eye contact with.

"And now, let us bow our heads and have a moment of silence for our dear friend, Charles Swan." I was standing next to the priest now, and after what I saw during my speech, I just had to look at everyone.

It wasn't so bad, I guess. Everyone had their heads bowed, although I'm pretty sure there were some disrespectful bastards here that just dozed off. Can you believe it? I exhaled sharply, continuing on. I saw the people I was looking for all sitting in the first row, I made sure to sit them as close to the front as possible so I could see them from where I stood. Rose and Emmett were holding hands while Rose was trying hard to not cry, Jasper was hugging Alice's shaking body while she cried hysterically and had his head hung low, Carlisle sat next to them, embracing Alice as well, and then that's when I saw him.

He had his arms wrapped around Esme who was hunched forward, crying and didn't seem like she would stop for a very long time. He was hunched forward as well, his bronze-haired head faced towards Esme while his hand was moving up and down her upper arm, soothing her, I could barely make out what he was saying. Who is this guy? If he was so close to the Cullens, how come I've never seen him before?

Everyone was standing around his grave, probably thinking that he's in a better place now. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he never regretted anything in his life, even me…

-FLASHBACK-

I was 7 years old again, playing with Rosalie in my dad's living room while Jasper was playing "House" with Alice, or rather, Alice was playing him. My mom and dad got divorced early into their marriage. Knowing my dad, I was sure that he really loved my mom and would stay with her no matter what, but my mom was a free spirit. She loved to try different things and never got around to finishing them. I lived with my mom at that time, but she still brought me over to my dad's every now and then.

That afternoon, my mom was in a hurry to get to my dad's place for some reason. But before we left our house, she took all my stuff and packed them into a few duffle bags.

"Mommy, are we moving?"

She suddenly turned pale and gripped the steering wheel so hard, I could see her knuckles turn white. Her lips pressed into a hard line before she answered me,

"No, sweetheart, mommy just has some business to take care of so you'll have to stay with daddy for a while." She replied in a monotone voice.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked innocently.

And if it was possible, she turned even paler.

"I… I'm not sure. But don't worry. You'll be with daddy this time! Doesn't that sound like fun?" I just nodded and stayed quiet after that. I loved both my parents, but if I really thought about it, I think I loved my dad more. Even if he lived so far away from us at that time, it was like he was there more than my mom ever was. She would be out almost every night with a different guy, claiming him to be 'The One'. I didn't understand how she could say that about every guy. Shouldn't love be more sacred than a one night stand?

"So, Bella," Rose's voice sang. Even as a child, she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Well, there goes my self-esteem.

"What do you wanna play today?"

I put my hand up to my chin and thought for a moment "How about we just go with a board game today?"

"Okay!"

5 wins and 9 losses on Snakes and Ladders later, I heard the yelling.

"I said take it, Charlie!!"

"Renee, why are you doing this?? Do you really want to leave this way?? At least give her some time!"

"There is no time for me, Charlie!" She held out her left hand in front of him. "Phil and I are getting married…"

There I saw it. The diamond engagement ring sitting on my mother's left ring finger. I saw this coming and I'm sure my dad did too. I guess he still had feelings for my mom. But what I couldn't understand why they were yelling about all of this. I mean, it was bound to happen, right?

Rose, Alice, Jasper and I stopped playing and moved to get a better view of the kitchen, where my parents were.

My dad shook his head and looked at my mom in her eyes with a hard expression.

"What about Bella? What are you going to do with her? Just leave her here?"

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "She's always liked you more than me. It was so obvious, all these years. So it shouldn't be a problem."

"Renee, you can't just do that to Bella! At least talk to her!"

"Why?! She's a brat! A difficult child! Which is why Phil and I don't want her!"

I could feel Rose shaking violently next to me. She was angry and I was scared for her. Even in such a short time, we've already learned to love each other like real sisters. So I put my hand on her shoulder to try and calm her down a little. Thankfully, it worked.

"Do not call her a brat! She is the only daughter we have, Renee! Have a heart!" My dad retorted.

"NO! No! No! No! NO!" She stomped her foot on the floor many times. My mom was crying now, and angry at the same time.

"What do you mean 'No'?!"

"I never wanted her, Charlie! I never wanted her! She was a mistake! What we did back then was a mistake! She was an accident that happened and ruined my chances of reaching my dreams!"

Everything went quiet after that. The only thing we could hear was Renee's sobs echo throughout the house.

She never wanted me? She thought I was a mistake? She never wanted me…………………………

"Bella?" my mother gasped.

My dad then spotted me and ran to me with worried and apologetic eyes. Was he sorry? Why? What did he have to apologize for? My own mother's the one that said I was the worst thing that's ever happened to her. Why was he the one saying sorry?

"Bella, honey, I am so sorry, sweetheart. I am so sorry you had to hear all of that…" he said. He was kneeling in front of me know so our eyes were level with each other. I just stepped closer to him and wrapped my little 7-year-old arms around my dad's neck.

"I love you, daddy. I'm not mad." I sobbed.

"Bella?? I am so sorry…" He cooed while stroking my hair.

"I-It's o-okay, d-d-dad… *hic* I'm n-n-not *hic*… *hic* I'm just r-r-r-really s-sad…"

"Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry... Daddy doesn't think you're a mistake or an accident. Daddy loves you, baby. So, so much. You hear me, kiddo? Daddy loves YOU! No matter what anyone else says! Don't ever forget that! Shh… Shh… Stop crying now… Shh…"

"*hic* I-I lo-ove y-y-y-you, d-daddy…"

-END FLASHBACK-

I could feel the number of people decreasing as the minutes pass. As soon as I thought I was alone, I sat down next to my father's grave, running my hands across the fresh soil that covered his casket six feet below. There were white roses scattered everywhere, from all the people that dedicated each of them to him. I gathered as much as I could so I could make a bouquet and place it in the middle of the long rectangle shape in the ground. Then I heard about two pairs of footsteps walk up to me from behind.

"Bella… Are you alright?" Alice's soprano voice said. I knew I couldn't ask her to stay. She and her family had done more than enough for me already, and I knew she was just as affected by this as I was. Charlie treated Rose and Alice like they were his own daughters as well. He loved them both down to the last fiber of their being.

I responded without moving my eyes away from the white bouquet resting on the dark soil.

"I'm fine, Alice, really. You should go home, be with your family." I knew that sounded so morbid of me, especially considering the current situation. But I didn't want Alice to miss a second being with her family, especially since her family is so wonderful and… whole.

"Are you sure? I could stay…"

"No. You – go." I replied firmly.

She sighed and gave in, "Alright. Call me if you need anything. At all."

"Thank you, Alice."

"Anytime, Bella. Oh and don't stay out here too late. I heard it was supposed to rain really hard tonight."

"I won't."

"Bye, Bella." I could tell from the sounds that the grass made that she walked a few steps from where she came, then she stopped.

"Let's go." She said to someone. Alice started walking again while the person stayed silent for a while. There was a light thump on one of the chairs and then the person started walking away as well. I heard the purr of an engine start and then drive away, the sound growing softer as the distance greater.

I sighed. "Hey, Dad… Big day, huh?" I spoke to the ground.

Then I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I let it all out – my feelings, frustrations, tears, sobs. I wouldn't stop crying. I lay myself slowly beside his grave and curled up into a ball. I couldn't handle anymore of this. When people all stared earlier, I pretended like I couldn't hear them talk. I knew that their words would only make the truth clearer to me: you're not coming back. I couldn't accept that fact. Not yet. I wasn't ready to let him go. He meant too much for me to just forget about him so easily.

I lay there, next to my father, cold and wet. The rain came when I had stopped crying minutes ago, I guess I was dehydrated or something. I found that the more I tried not to think about anything, the more I thought about something. So eventually, I just… stopped thinking. I was absent-mindedly moving the soil around lightly with my fingers, not wanting to think about anything anymore when I suddenly sneezed.

I rolled over so that I was lying on my back now, and I looked up at the sky. It was dark and the only light I had was the lamp post next to the road where I parked my car. I sat up and looked down to my father's grave,

"I gotta go now, dad. But I'll be back, okay? I love you." I kissed my hand and placed it on top of his grave.

I stood up and shook off the bits of grass that clung to my dress and hair and I took one last look around the earlier crowded place: the white foldable chairs were in disarray, white petals were scattered all over the ground. I felt sorry for whoever had to clean all this up. And then I saw something sitting on the chair closest to me, I had to squint my eyes a little to see through the rain…

It was an umbrella. A yellow umbrella.

"Somebody must have left it here…" I mumbled. I sneezed one more time as the wind picked up. Not caring about who owned it anymore, I grabbed and opened the umbrella, held it over my head and made my way to my car, bracing myself for the bitter loneliness I had already begun to feel.

R&R please! :)

Constructive criticism = very much welcomed.

-MW-