I'm sorry it took me forever to update.... this story is my side project and I work on it when I get bored at work...as it has been busy the last few weeks I hadn't have time to update...

I sure hope you like this...

New Moon

Over the summer, Bella spend a lot of time with the Cullens. If I was angry with them for chasing Bella away, I couldn't stay angry for long. They made Bella happy. Alice proved to be a very good friend for Bella. Edward, on the other hand, I still couldn't really like him, but he made Bella even more happy. You could see it in her eyes, every time he showed up Bella would almost shine with happiness.

All in all, it was the best summer I ever had in about 18 years.

When the end of August approached Renee called, helping me remember that Bella's birthday was close. She told me what to get for Bella and what she would send as a gift.

Bella didn't seem to be exited about her birthday. I heard her discus with Edward that she didn't want any presents. When he asked what she wanted then she looked angry and snapped "you know what I want."

I didn't mingle myself in those discussion, I really didn't want to know what an eighteen year old girl could really ask from her boyfriend.

As Bella's birthday approached she got more depressed about the whole thing. She even ordered me not to get her anything. Well that was a bit to late. I really couldn't understand why she was acting this way. Normally young girls, maybe boys as well, were really exited when it came to their birthdays. Parties, gifts, having fun, it all didn't seem to matter to her.

Bella's birthday came. She really tried to put on a happy face but she couldn't fool me. She really was depressed about getting older. When I got home, I hoped to find a more happy Bella, Edwards car was in the driveway and that guarantied a happy Bella. When I got inside I could see that even Edward could really get her out of her birthday depression.

In the evening the Cullens threw her a birthday party, I thought that would maybe help her she that birthdays weren't that bad, so I didn't object. When she was away, I tried to watch the game, but my mind started to bring up doubts. I was her father, I should be the one throwing a party for her, I was the one who should make her happy. I knew there were some fathering things I could have done better, like being more at home, but Bella never complained.

That evening when she got home, something had changed. I couldn't put my finger on it but Bella looked different. Like her light started to fade a bit. The next two days confirmed what I had seen that evening. Bella changed, her relation with Edward was changing. I didn't pay much attention to them normally, but this was so obvious that there was no way around. Both of them looked depressed. I wondered if they had a fight or something.

I'm not really the 'feelings' kind of guy, but I could feel that a change was coming.

The next day was one out of my books of nightmares.

I got home to a note, telling me that Bella had gone for a walk with Edward. I didn't really thought anything of it, if they had a fight it was best to give them some time to work things out. It was a bit strange that she wasn't home before dinner, but I ordered pizza and waited for her. When it started to get dark I got worried. I tried to call the Cullens a dozen times, hoping she would be there, but nobody answered.

I walked out and call a couple of times but no answer came. Cursing myself for not giving Bella a phone or getting Edward's number I called Billy. I told him Bella was missing after a walk with the Cullen kid. He took it more serious as I expected. I had expected him to laugh at me and give me a lecture about teenage girls but instead he offered help to search for her. The urgency in his voice made me more worried. Within fifteen minutes Billy showed up with Harry Clearwater and some more members of my fishing family.

With Billy staying in the house I went with the rest to search for Bella in the forest, it would be so Bella to get lost.

We searched for more than an hour. I thought I was loosing my mind. I was so angry with Bella for not being home on time, I was angry with the Cullens for not answering my calls and more angry with myself for not being attentive enough. After an extra hour of searching for Bella, Harry made a phone call too Sam Uley, asking him to help with the search. Harry told me that Sam knew the forests better then any of them. So we walked to the house while waiting for Sam to report back.

I owed Sam a life time when he after just half an hour showed up carrying Bella.

But that was only the start of the nightmare. Bella wasn't unconscious, or hurt but we couldn't get through to her. She only repeated the words "he's gone", when the doctor showed up I knew what her words meant. The doctor confirmed what I already feared, the Cullens had left, with out warning or without a number to contact them, they disappeared.

Anger started to brew. That scumbag left my daughter alone in the woods and broke her heart.

The next week I found out a little of how much my daughter was broken. She just lay in bed nothing more, not eating, drinking only because it was needed. She didn't speak, moved or showed any sign of life. I called the doctor a couple of times to have him check her out. When he started to throw with words like catatonic I panicked.

I called Renee and asked her to come and take Bella home. Maybe being away from this place would get some life back in to her. Maybe Renee could get through to her.

Well we did……

When Bella realized what we were planning, we were already packing her clothes, she broke out of it. I have never seen my girl get really angry but Renee and I had to run out of her room before we got hit by a book or shoe. She would stay in Forks no matter what.

After five minutes of rage Bella broke down in tears. Finally some reaction. She cried herself to sleep and Renee and I hoped that she could now start to heal.

When Bella woke up the next morning Renee and I hoped to see some life back in her, but it wasn't there.

After a short visit Renee had to get back home and left me alone with my worry.

Life never came back to Bella.

For four months she tried to be normal for me, but she didn't fool me. It was like watching a zombie movie. Bella was nothing more than a empty shell moping around trying to think of nothing. I watched her throw away all her music, pictures, she put away her books and never touched them again. She just emptied her life of everything that could remember her of that bastard that broke her.

I couldn't say he broke her heart, because he broke a lot more than that, he broke her spirit.

The more time passed the more angry I got. I started to wish that there was a law against breaking a heart.

Every night Bella would dream, having nightmares, and wake the both of us up with screams. The first few weeks I ran into her room when that happened, trying to wake her up and calm her down. I hoped in time the dream would become less terrifying for her, but it didn't.

I stopped running in her room every time she screamed.

At the station I didn't get much peace either. Besides my worries about Bella something else started to demand my focus. Reports of sighting of a huge bear started to get in. It was spotted a couple of times close to town.

When people starting to disappear during hiking trips I found something else to worry about. Not only did I have to look at the empty shell that was now my daughter at home, the station that had become my refuge was now also a place of negative thoughts and stories.

One day I just couldn't handle it any more. It hurt so much when you see your daughter like that. As much as I loved to have her here with me I knew that sending her to her mother was the best thing to do. So I told her, I told her that I was sending her to Jacksonville, I was braced for her anger this time, but in the end I lost the fight again.

But maybe I did get through to her a bit.

When I got home that afternoon Bella was missing again. I didn't believe her when she told me that was would go out that evening, but when she finally got home it turned out to be true. The following morning Bella was back, or at least a small bit of Bella had returned, she was alert and looking terrified. She looked like she woke up in a different world. I promised myself to not say anything. For now, I would see how it goes maybe Bella started to recover a bit, maybe the girls night out was what she had needed all along.

A few days later she called me at the station. It scared the hell out of me. Bella never called me at work and I thought immediately that something was wrong. I worried way to much about her those days.

To my surprise Bella asked for directions to Billy's place. Bella never had been interested in visiting the Blacks, so I didn't understand why she would want to do that now. She talked about visiting Jacob, and I was all for that. Jacob was really a good kid, always happy, always helpful, maybe he could cheer her up.

If I had known then what I know now, I would never have given her directions and locked her up in a cell so that I could keep an eye on her, but I didn't and I happily gave her directions.

When I got home that evening Bella was already making dinner. I was surprised to see her home already but she was in a good mood, and look a bit happier. When I asked her if she had plans to go back to la Push, she confirmed that she was to see Jacob again the next day.

I didn't object to that, it was good to see her smiling for once without the effort she would normally need to smile.

As the days went by Bella seemed to recover a bit of her old happy self. Not totally though, she was always better when she was either with Jacob or just got home from a visit to him. Then after a short time away from Jacob the emptiness in her eyes got back. It was hard not to remember the reason behind her pain but I never brought it up, not wanting to hurt her more.

I often sat alone brewing more and more anger, but I tried to let it go.

Hanging around with Jacob had also a negative side. The first time was when I got home, Bella had stitches in her head, claiming to have tripped over a tool in Jake's shed. The next day I got a call from the hospital, to inform me that Bella had hit her head again, and that they were worried that she might have a contusion. I started to wonder if hanging out with Jacob was a good thing for her, but it made her happy so I couldn't object to much.

She also took up a new hobby with Jacob. She started hiking. I wasn't to happy about it. For one, hiking brought a lot of risks with it I could see Bella getting herself into. And second, we still hadn't caught the bear that was causing all the problems in the woods. I talked to Billy about it, naturally, he told me not to worry so much, Jacob knew what he was doing. So I let her.

As time passed Bella and Jacob grew closer. I watched my daughter starting to live a bit more. Bella made plans to go to the movies with Jacob and friends from school. They got home very early. Bella claimed that Mike was sick and called the Blacks to see if Jacob got home safely, she was worried that he got sick as well. The next morning Bella was sick too. I found her on her bathroom floor, it scared me to see her like that but she claimed to have the same as Mike, so I left for work.

Later when I got home Bella was still lying on the bathroom floor, I carried her to her bed and hoped she would sleep it of.

Bella got better very quickly, and she was dying to see or talk to Jacob, but every time she called him, Billy wouldn't let her talk to him, claiming he was still sick. When there was no answer at all Bella had even me calling around the reservation to find out what was going on.

Slowly Bella started to slip back in her empty depression state, the screams started to wake me up at night again. I decided not to give it much attention, but I couldn't stop worry about it.

Next I knew, was Bella missing again. I got home one day and it was empty. I hoped Bella had gone to la Push and forgot to leave a note. I settle on the couch and took Billy's advise, not to worry so much.

After waiting for a few hours, Bella stumbled through the door. Looking like she had spend days in the forest and in a total state of panic.

After some stern questioning I found out that she had been hiking again. ALONE…for all that is holy….and of course being Bella she had seen the bear we were hunting. After Bella calmed down a bit I understood that we were hunting the wrong animal, it was a huge wolf we were after, and not one. Bella had stood eye to eye with a pack of five huge wolfs, and survived. Now I know why but back then I wondered why the wolves hadn't attacked her. It kept me up at night.

It also changed things for my work, we had to search for five dangerous animal not one. Everybody was on full alert now.

A few days later, Bella scared me again, calling me at the station again. She was worried about Jacob. I had seen him the day Bella went hiking alone, he looked different bigger and he had cut his hair, it worried me a bit, but not so much as Bella. She was talking about a cult that had gotten to Jacob. When she mentioned Sam's name I had to laugh at her worries. Sam was a good kid, man almost. Bella didn't sound convinced.

Bella wasn't home when I got back, again I decided that she was eighteen now and that I needed to see her as a grown-up woman. So just as I settled down to watch a game the phone rang. It was Billy, informing me that Bella was on her way home. First I couldn't understand why he would call me for that, and then he explained that Jacob and Bella had a fight and that Bella was in a kind of state.

I knew that it had to be bad if Billy thought it was needed to inform me. So I paced around the living room waiting for the rumble of her truck. After what seemed like a week I heard the sound in the distance. It rained like the biblical flood had started but I didn't care, I rushed out. When Bella got out of the truck it almost gave me a heart attack. Ok, she didn't look as bad as she had done when that monster had left her alone, but almost as bad.

Bella quickly retreated to the bathroom. I called Billy, he was my best friend but if his son treated my girl this way he would have to answer to me. Of course the phone call wasn't very helpful. Billy blamed Bella for leading Jake on.

I waited until Bella was in her bedroom before I went to bed as well. I had to get up early and I wanted to be well rested. The next day would be a long one, half the town was ready to hunt down the wolfs, and excited men with guns wasn't my idea of a good day at work.

When I got down the next morning I heard stumbling upstairs, I was surprised that Bella was already up. Totally focus on one goal she rushed downstairs and claiming to go see Jacob. It was a bit early for that but at first there was no stopping her. Only when I told her my plans for the day to make sure she stayed out if the woods, she stopped. Bella looked totally shocked but I didn't had the time to ask her about it. I left her alone, again, to deal with her problems.

The whole day I felt bad about it, Bella's shocked face never failed to pop up in my head. I should have stayed with her. The guilt tormented me the whole day until I arrived at the station after a fruitless search for the wolfs. On my desk lay a note, telling me Billy had invited me to come over for dinner, and that Bella would be there as well.

I would never understand the true way of Bella's thoughts but I was happy that she and Jake made up.

The dinner party at Billy's place was nice, a gathering of good friends. Sam and Emily were there, so were Harry's kids, just a nice evening together.

Now I have never been the one to pay attention to my daughters relations but ever since the dark days I paid a bit more attention. I noticed that her relation with Jake had changed. Bella looked scared and Jacob looked as protective as that monster once had.

I asked Bella about it, about the fight they had, about her worries with Sam and his group of friend, but she just waved it away.

The next few days I spend a remarkable lot of time down at La Push, if I wasn't working Billy would invite me over to watch a game or just for dinner. Bella was also always there. I didn't want to know why but I noticed she was looking more scared by the day, it worried me. Also the ghosts of nothingness in her eyes started to return. I wondered if there was something happening between her and Jacob, but I never asked.

Maybe I should have……

Hell started a short time later…

It started with Harry, we all knew that his health wasn't very good, but not that it was so bad. He suffered a heart attack, and in the hospital the doctors could do no more for him.

It was one of those bad days, only then I didn't knew it would be a bad week.

When I arrived home I noticed the glossy car, but didn't pay attention to it, too lost in thought. Bella was waiting for me, she already had heard about Harry, but she had a surprise as well.

I should have noticed the new look on her face, but I didn't at that point. Now I can say, she looked happy, for the first time in months she looked really happy.

And then Alice Cullen showed her face……

I never blamed Alice for hurting Bella, but I was worried about the memories she brought with her. When she would leave Bella would be sad again and I didn't want her more upset than she had already been. As I was busy with helping Sue arranging the funeral Alice was happy to keep Bella company.

I wanted to ask Alice but I was afraid Bella would hear. I just had to know, so the next morning Bella was still sleeping I asked. Alice confirmed that he wasn't coming back, he was somewhere in South America, she said. Well I hoped he enjoyed himself.

Somewhere deep inside I hoped he would be coming back as well, so he could see for himself what he had done to Bella, but I also wished he didn't, Bella didn't need to see him, better forget him completely and move on with her life.

I never expected Alice to cause trouble, but than I was wrong about all of them. The day of Harry's funeral, as if that wasn't a nightmare enough, I got home late that day to again a empty home. A note on the table, it told me what I so didn't want to know but before I could have a heart attack Jake walked in, muttering he was sorry.

Clearly he knew what was going on but all he could tell me was that Bella had gone with Alice and that he thought Bella was in trouble.

For almost three days I cursed Bella for not calling me, I cursed Jacob for not telling me the whole story, I cursed that Cullen boy, because I knew she was going to see him, I cursed Alice for taking my girl away, but most of all I cursed myself. For being a bad father, for not paying attention, for leaving Bella alone to much, and for all the things I could think of I had done wrong in her life.

Somewhere between the cursing and pain I heard a car pull up in front of the house. HIM...

My mind went from blank to red hazed with anger in a very short time. He had some nerves to show up here, when my girl was missing, ran of with his sister. I had already started to search for my gun when I saw him lifting something out off his car.

No! It couldn't be.

He was lifting Bella in his arms, she looked pale, her eyes were closed. For a moment I thought she was dead but then I saw her fingers clutching his shirt. I ran out, angry at both of them, I cursed and told him to get away.

Like that was going to be so easy. Bella didn't want to let go. Why, oh why did that girl cling to him after all he had done to her.

It took all my self-control not to shoot him, but he place Bella in her bed and told me that all she needed was a good long sleep. His arrogant voice ranged in me, who the hell was he thinking he was. Like he could tell me what and what not to do when it came to Bella. He was never ever going to walk through the door of this house again. First breaking her and than bringing her back to me in a comatose state. Never would he walk into this house again.

I called the doctor to have her checked over, but he told me the same thing. She just needed sleep. For the duration of the afternoon I watched her, sitting in the rocking chair I was trying to get rid of the red haze in my head. My resolve to protect Bella from that monster started to form in my head. Jacob was the answer, if she would fall for him (what I expected already happened) she would never want to be with that monster anymore. I would push her towards Jake as much as I could. As soon as my thought lingered on that Bella muttered the monsters name, begging him to stay.

I sighed, it wasn't going to be that easy, but I would try.

The next morning I found out just how difficult Bella could be. I grounded her, that was as punishment to run away without calling, than I told her he was not welcome anymore. Of course she threw a fit. I hadn't expected anything different. As I knew I was going to loose this fight as well. Bella had become the master in threats. To my horror she was planning on moving out. Or at least threatening to do so. I humpfed and sighed and muttered but it was clear I had to put up with him, at least until he made an other mistake.