A.N: so here's the next part. The first is set in 2009 a little after the "House on fire" episode. And of course I goofed just a bit Penelope starts to think about leaving with this episode/chapter. I hope everyone likes it and yes it is a gradual start building to something more, so please bare with me. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, added to favorites and alerted it makes my day. Ok so on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but me.

Chapter one

March, 2009

Too much, they asked just to damn much for her sometimes. This last case it rattled her to the point she was thinking that maybe leaving with be best after all. She hated disappointing them, but she knew deep down she couldn't and maybe wouldn't ever be able to cope with profiling. It was enough having to look at the gruesome pictures and listen to the video tapes on almost daily bases. So could she be a coward? To tuck her tail between her legs and run off? Because she never signed up for this to dig into someone head and brag out pieces of habits to profile them.

Taking a heavy seat on her couch Penelope flipped off her shoes, she tried to settle in and close her mind from all the images and information. However, she knew it would be a fruitless endeavor her mind just wouldn't shut off.

A knock sounded at her door, breaking her out of any gloomy thoughts that tried to invade her consciences. Huffing she pulled herself from the comfort of her couch and stocked towards the door. Grumbling about the hour, about how she didn't want to be bothered. Then she glanced towards the bright pink Hello Kitty clock to see that it was only half passed eight.

"Whatever you're selling I don't…" she trailed off when she came face to face with Derek Morgan, standing as gorgeous as ever, bags of take out in one hand and a load of movies in the other.

"Well then I guess I can always find someone else who wants Mexican take out and a few sappy movies," he grinned his eyes dancing over her features. He knew the last case played havoc with her sensibility's, her morals and ideas. For that very reason he'd grabbed some of her favorite comfort food and DVD's wanting to cheer her up.

"Hold it right there mister you get your cute ass in this apartment with that food and movies right now," she said, her body easing into relaxation with his appearance, something she'd tried to do earlier and failed.

It amazed her that one look at her chocolate God and everything seemed to right itself again. Yet she knew that they would never be anything more than friends he didn't see her that way and she had Kevin. Kevin the little jackass who walked all over her feelings earlier when she tried to explain why she didn't want to sit though two hours or more in a full movie theater watching some God awful movie she didn't want to see. Hell she didn't even want his company. No the man standing in front of her, that's who she wanted more. The only one who could sooth her worry's and fears with one hug.

Derek grinned and walked passed her, setting the food and DVD's down. He turned to watch her close and lock her door, seeing the almost defeated posture and lack luster shine in her normally vibrant brown eyes when she turned to face him.

"Penelope," he breathed walking over to her and enfolding her soft body in a tight hug.

He felt her start to shake as a wet spot formed on his shirt he didn't care as long as she was in his arms and he could try to chase away the demons plaguing her. He didn't care how wet his shirt got, it could be washed after all, when her mind and soul couldn't. He loved her and always would, even if he never told her, or showed her how much. He didn't want to ruin a good thing.

For Penelope she felt at home in his arms like all was right in her world and she couldn't think about anything else but him. Leaving was put on the back burner that night until the next catastrophe happened her way.

April, 2011

Folding up the letter in his hand, Derek pulled the next one out. His mind wandering to that last year they were all together as he pulled the next aged piece of paper out of its confines.

Dear Penelope May, 2009

We almost lost Hotch today. Foyet's psycho ass found him, did a hell of a lot of damage to his body, to his mind and to top it off Haley and Jack has to go into witness protection. The sick bastard is after them Pen. God I wish I knew where you were if your all right. It's killing me not hearing anything from you. I know your still in contact with JJ and Emily they talk about it in quiet tones when they think I can't hear them, but I can and it tears me apart knowing that you broke contact with only me.

I keep asking myself if there was something I could have done to stop you from leaving. To prevent you from walking out of my life I've lost so many in my life, but you, you're the hardest one I've lost. You're my baby girl the only light in my dark dead days.

The job is getting harder to do and I can't help but think that it's only going to get harder as time marches on. I wish you'd come back, let me in, let me explain myself to you.

I have this sinking feeling that, that night after the case in Indiana when I came to you, you'd all ready started the thinking process of leaving us… me. Why? What fell apart that you had to leave Pen?

I guess I'll never get my answers. Just know that were ever you are I'll always be thinking about you and…

Until next letter Pen.

Derek

He folded the paper up again and reached inside the box, pulling out the cross pendent, he'd given Penelope on their second year Christmas, engraved with "Forever my baby girl". He found that statement a little funny now seeing how she was gone.

The knock on his door broke him out of his trip into the past. Rising slowly, he placed the lid back on the box and trudged to the door.

"Are you ok," came a sympathetic female voice.

He walked away from the door, leaving it open for her to walk in.

"Derek," she asked following.

"Don't Emily not right now," he returned taking up his seat again.