CHAPTER TWO: PERMANENT GOODBYES

(Raven's POV)

My parents and Billy boy had been waiting for me as I walked inside the living room. They greeted me with a loud chorus of "Happy Birthday, Raven!" while I made my way to the couch. Dad sliced the chocolate bat cake, and handed us slices. I got the biggest slice, of course.

"What happened with your dinner date with Alexander?" My mother asked. "I thought you'd arrive home a little late. It's only seven."

I frowned, remembering what had happened earlier at the cemetery. I got poked by a rock, bled like hell, Alexander is a vampire, so he couldn't stand seeing me bleed like that, I thought of saying, but decided against it. "Alexander had to leave early." I said. "He had something really important to do. Maybe he had another girlfriend, I guess."

My dad raised a brow. So did mom and Billy.

I ignored them and took a bite out of the chocolate bat cake. "Mmm," I said, breaking the awkwardness. "This cake taste really good."

Mom smiled. "Of course. It cost forty-five bucks. That's a lot for just one cake."

I smiled.

"Ready to blow your candles now?" Dad asked.

"Blow, blow!" Billy chanted.

I nodded. "Sure, but.. Uh, I thought you didn't have any candles."

Billy boy laughed. "Mom and dad lied," He admitted, honestly. "They wanted you to blow the cake at night for once."

"Very clever, mom, dad," I said with a grin.

Dad stuck two candles on top of my slice of cake. Like my previous birthday candles, these had been formed to look like the numbers 'one' and 'seven'.

"Now, make a wish, sweetheart," Mom instructed, lighting both the candles with her switch-on lighter.

I closed my eyes and made a wish, hoping with every part of my body, it would come true. Then, as hard as I could, blew the candles out until all that remained was darkness.

At school, the next day, I was surprised at Trevor's flat greet.

"Morning, Raven.. morning, Becky," He greeted, walking pass Becky and I with a Biology textbook in hand. That wasn't like him. That wasn't like him at all.

"Weid," Matt commented.

Becky and I nodded in agreement.

"Doesn't he usually stay for a while to make fun of you?" Becky asked.

"Yeah," I said, closing my locker door shut.

"Maybe he's finally changed," Matt said. "For good."

"Maybe..." But what really bothered me the most wasn't because Trevor didn't make fun of me or because he called me by my real name; the one thing that bothered me was the sparkle in his eyes that were gone. Whenever Trevor Mitchell were to annoy me, his green eyes were to always lit up. Now, he walked pass me without doing anything at all. I felt a little sad, but glad he finally gave up annoying me.

The day went on faster than I thought and I didn't even have detention. It didn't drag like how I'd expected it to be, which seemed kind of strange. But either way, I was relieved. I couldn't wait till sunset. Then, I could spend my time with Alexander all I wanted! I was pleased. I was ready to call him the moment I had arrived from school, but was stunned he had called me instead.

"Hello?" I said, answering the phone.

"Hey," The voice replied back. It was a voice I'd respond too even if I was dead... it was Alexander.

"Hi!" I responded. "What's up?"

There was no answer from the end of the line and I had told myself the line had cut off until Alexander replied. "Can you meet me at the cemetery at eight tonight?" He asked.

"Sure," I said, though I was a bit dazed from the sudden invite. Maybe it was something to make up for last night.

"See you," He said, as he hung up.

I didn't even had the chance to reply back. I sighed as I put the phone down.

-***-

"Mom, dad, may I be excused tonight?" I asked my parents after two rounds of dinner.

"Why?" Dad asked from behind his Dullsville newspaper.

"I'm meeting up with Alexander tonight..." I confessed, "So can I please go?"

Mom frowned. "But tonight is a school night,"

"And I promise I'll be back before nine." I promised. "It won't be long, please?"

After a dozen of begging and pleading, and begging again, and more pleading, my parents decided to let me go. "Come back before twelve," They both reminded me. Hello, I was seventeen for Pete's sake!

"Alright," I said, rolling my eyes, going along with the flow. One more year, I'll be able to do anything I want. And after that will be the beginning of the best days of my life. It has yet to start.

I biked all over to th cemetery with easy pedals. It took about five to ten minutes to get there, via bike, and about two to three minutes, via car. I reached the main entrance to the cemetery and spotted Alexander sitting on his grandmother's tombstone, apparently waiting for me. There was something inside of me that felt strangely disordered or anxious, like something bad was going to happen. What could possibly happen right now? I aaked myself. Then the thought hit me. Maybe Alexander's birthday presents were his fangs to sink through my neck. I shivered at the thought of it. To become a vampire now? It wasn't the right time. Not yet. Fear slowly rushed through my veins.

"Hey," He greeted me softly.

"What did you want me here for?" I asked, the butterflies in my stomach still not disappearing.

Alexander was silent. He didn't answer. His eyes were looking solemnly at the moonlit sky. He looked like a statue. We were both silent for a few minutes. "Um, Alexander?" I asked, breaking the silence. It only made the situation more awkward than it already was. Something was going on... something terrible. And I could feel it. The strange sensation filled the air. This was bad.

"Do you ever wonder why people say goodbye?" He suddenly asked.

"Umm, no..." I answered, sounding braver than I felt.

"Or how much the stars want badly to twinkle in the morning, but can't? Or how the sun would want its light to shine on even in the darkness of night where the moon would replace it?" His continued asking random, strange questions. His behavior was even more strange than Trevor's was this morning. His questions confused me.

"Okay," I started. "Alexander, what's wrong?" I asked. "You're freaking me out..."

He looked at me, his eyes piercing through my very own. "I'm leaving." He pointed out.

My jaw dropped. Was this some kind of joke. "What?"

"I can't live here anymore, Raven." He said. "I can't live here in this town anymore. People are starting to suspect about my identity."

I gulped. "Then I'll kick their butt whomever finds out." I didn't – no, I couldn't – understand what he meant. My heart began to beat rapidly. He stared at me coldly. This wasn't the Alexander I fell in love with. Where was his warm love-filled smile?

Instead, it was replaced by a wicked, evilish grin. "I'm leaving," He said again. "This is the last we'll see each other."

"Then, t-then, I'll come with you!" I spurted out.

"You can't." He said, coldly. "You're way out of our league." His answer pierced right through me, as if stabbing me with a sharp-edged sword directly to my heart. I felt nauseated, dizzy. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

"I can't live without you." I said sincerely.

"But I can," He interjected. "I'm not good for you. You need someone better. Someone... human."

"No!" I yelled. I felt numb everywhere. "I only want you." I was already pleading, begging. "You promised me you'd always be with me!"

He grinned, with underlying evil evident in it. "And promises are meant to be broken,"

"Alexander –"

"Listen," He interuppted me, "I thought our love could work things out." He started, "But last night when you were bleeding, I wanted so badly to drink your blood. Raven, I wanted to kill you so badly."

I could feel the tears streaming down now, but I didn't bother to wipe it. I felt my mouth quivering. "No...."

"I need a real vampire mate." He said, honestly. "Not some human try-hard-to-be goth." He gazed at me now, his eyes focusing on mine. They were different. They weren't filled with love or friendliness. They were filled with cruelty and lust, and hunger and thirst. Alexander's eyes were now like Jagger's. He walked slowly away from me, into the dark depths of the forest just deep in the graveyards. I quickly followed after him, stumbling with every desperate step.

"Don't come with me, Raven." He said, smugly. "Don't make this hard than it already is. I don't want you anymore."

I was confused by the way he sounded, by the way he said them to me. I stared disbelievingly at him. He didn't look back. "I'll always love you... maybe a little bit," He admitted. "But not the way like I used to. I guess maybe I just wanted to make you think that I loved you."

I was shaking now, tears drippling faster than rain. "Why?" I was surprised by the fear and anxiety evident in my voice. I was always brave. Not weak. I was fearless. Not scared. But now, I was just like a little girl again. Scared and crying. Terrified and lonely. I took a deep breathe. Alexander did too.

"I just needed to befriend someone," He admitted cooly. "I wanted to show you off to my parents, to make them think I was special like my grandfather."

I couldn't believe this. Any of this!

"I'm not human, Raven," He continued. "And I never will be. The more you're here with me, the more you'd regret it."

"But I don't!" I shouted at him, angry. "I'm not and I never will be! I love you! How many times do I have to say it?!"

He cracked a smile. A cold one. "I already do," He said. "But I don't love you anymore, Raven. To me, you're just like another regular human being." I frowned, wiping my already drenched shirt to my tear-filled eyes. I wasn't good enough for him. My heart sank to the ground. This is how it felt like, to have my heart broken... I was dizzy. I felt like I was going to puke in any second.

"Don't follow me," He ordered. "If you do, I'd never forgive you..."

"No.. please..." I begged. "Don't do this... I love you.." I sobbed. "I can't let you go... not now.. not ever.. no, please, Alexander..."

His dark brown eyes melted, and I could see the love in them again. Or at least, I thought I did. When I squinted, they were still cold and grim. I felt numb everywhere. Everywhere except for my heart.

"Another thing," He started, again, "I'm selling the mansion... Jameson isn't there anymore. Nothing is. I just came to say goodbye."

I was crying even more. The tears spilling out like a waterfall. I was bawling, and begging him not to go. "You're going back... to Romania," I realized.

"No, I'm going farther than that," He corrected. "So far you won't be able to see me again."

"I don't care!" I snapped, bravely. "If you can't stand me being human, then turn me into a vampire now!"

He shook his head. "I can't. Raven, I told you. You're not what I want." It was hard to concentrate. Everything felt like a messed up dream. "No..." I whispered faintly. "You can't..."

He looked up at the dark sky again, and turned towards me. "I must leave now. " He said, suddenly. "Goodbye, Raven. Farewell. You won't see me ever again." He said it in a quiet, calm and peaceful voice.

For a second, the wind blew, rustling the trees and the surrounding, and with a blink of an eye Alexander was gone. He was gone. Forever. For eternity. My knight of night was no longer here. Never to be seen...

"Wait!" I choked out desperately. "Alexander! Come back!" I dropped to my knees, tears swelling up. It started to rain droplets of water, as if the sky knew of the pain I was feeling. The sky was crying down her silver tears just as I did with mine. "Please.... don't go..." My voice broke out into a faint whisper, and then nothing was heard but the wushes of the trees and the rain that was everywhere. I stayed in a kneeling position for hours. It was still raining, and I decided to find some place that was shelter against rain. I layed under a gigantic tree, the rain falling on to me slowly, but not as much.

Every part of me was shaking. Especially my heart. It wasn't whole anymore. It was ripped, shattered, beaten up to pieces. And it will never be whole. I held myself to sleep, singing a lullabye until the leaves were still again. It had already stopped raining.

Time didn't make sense anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. I walked deeper into the forest, hoping to stay there forever. I slowly looked up the darkness. The moon was covered by heaves of dark grey clouds. For once, I had found no comfort in darkness.

I leaned at a stony hedge. I couldn't breathe. Everything was terrifying. Everything was... over.

A/N: Did the last parts just totally reminded you of "New Moon" or what? xD Review, please!