the sun shined through my thin blinds, stirring me from a dark dreamless sleep, my eyes opened and i shuddered it was cold, as usual, i had no radiator in my room, i stretched and my arm tingled i smiled when i saw the sleeve of my top, dyed red by my own blood, my parents wouldnt even ask they never did, as long as i didnt die they couldnt care less, and even if i did die which to be honest i wish i would they would only be sad because they no longer had a servant to do there bidding, i chuckled at the thought of there face when woke up and there breakfast wasnt cooked, they would knock the door down and find me in my bed, cold limp and lifeless, the wouldnt cry or scream they would swear the house down, what i wouldnt give for that possibility, i sighed and unlocked my door and went downstairs to the kitchen, and cooked them breakfast, full english, and by the time i was done they had both just woke up, i had just enough time to get there drinks done, the both entered the kitchen, and slumped into there chairs and ate there meals, i went to the sink and began to wash the pots, i heard them mummble things to eachother, i didnt care to listen, soon enough they were done they dropped the pots in the sink, splashing water everywhere, i growled silently as they walked past me, usually i get a slap up the side of my head but today no slap, i shrugged it off, it ment they had somthing planned, i dryed all the pots and put them away, i walked into the livingroom and stopped dead when i saw who was sat on the sofa, riku was in my house, on my sofa talking with mom and dad, they were being so nice to, it almost made me jealous, but i held it in, i was never the one to deal with bad thing nicely, when they first started i fought back but soon enough i learnt that i got less if i didnt fight back insted i took my anger out on my walls or myself

"oh sora rikus here" my mom said in her sugar sweet voice, he turned at me and smiled, i smiled back just as my cheeks heated up

"so you gonna show him up or are you going out?" my dad asked nicely, i gritted my teeth at how riku could believe there lies

"out" i said dryly

"ok be back for tea sweety" mom said happily, i glared at her but she didnt budge, i would pay for that glare later but it needed to be done, i walked out of the house riku close behind me

"you gonna tell me what up or do i have to pull it out of ya?" riku chuckled

"them is all i cant stand them is all" i said dryly

"why?" he asked puzzled, why why why did he have to ask

"cos there being falsely nice, i hate it when they pretend to be nice" i said sourly i was saying to much

"what do you mean?" he asked once we reached the beach

i sat on the sand and let out a small sigh

"you aint gonna believe me yaknow" i threatened

"wanna bet?" he joked, i sighed again

"just trust me here there the opposite of nice" i said sourly

"oh ok" he said puzzled

"so what do ya wanna do?" i asked

"well for one i wanna know what happened to your eye" he said pointing at my blackeye

"i got into a fight with these thugs" i lied, he sighed at me, of course he knew i was lying

"stop lyin sora" he said annoyed, i remained quiet, he grunted and lept on me and pinned me to the sand, pinning me down by my arms causing a sudden rush of pain to go through me, i flintched at the sudden pain and contact

"now tell me" he demanded

"riku trust me you wont believe me and to be honest your hurting my arm" i said sourly regretting what i had just said, he let my arms go and sat on my belly, looking at me with a puzzled look, he then grabbed one of my arms and pulled the sleeve down, luckly now cuts on that one, he let that arm go and grabbed the other, the one covered in blood, his eyes narrowed before he even rolled the sleeve down, but when he did it looked like he was goin to be sick, i pulled my arm free, and rolled my sleeve back down, i didnt look in his eyes, ashamed at what i had done and ashamed to let him see

"sora? what the hell?" he asked annoyed

i didnt answer

"why the hell are you cuttin yourself?" he asked more worried than angry

i still didnt answer

"please sora tell me" he pleaded

i looked at him and saw he was just inches from me, peering at me, my heart was pounding faster, i could feel my cheeks heating up and i couldnt speak, he sighed and pulled back

"do i even wanna know why?" he muttered

"i dont know its a mixture of things, family problems, the fact im inlove and that person doesnt even know i excist" i muttered back, i looked at him his face froze in saddness and anger

"thanks for sharing" he said sourly

"told ya" i said dryly

"true you did" he muttered

i smiled as i sat back up, we sat in silence for a few minutes before i realised i had to be home

"i gotta go riku" i said sadly whilst standing up

"ok ill walk ya" he said standing up

the walk was quiet, we didnt speak, he looked sad, i dont know why, was he that concerned about me? or just sad i had gone low enough to cut myslef? probably the second one, he stopped outside my house

"well ill see ya soon i hope" he said sadly

"yeah you will" i promised

"ok see ya" he said before walking off, i walked into my house, and shut the door but no yelling or shouting or anything, the house was empty, that ment i had the house free to myslef, i could get some food and actually get some snacks and hide them, i smiled and did my plan i got as many crisps as i could carry and hid them under my floorboards and then went to get some proper food, i had an egg butty, i havent had on of these in months, no since i came out and that was 3 years ago, i went to there room and stole some money and cloths and put them in my room before locking my door and sitting on my bed, waiting for the peace and quiet to be shattered, i heard them come home and i heard them come upstairs, they knew i was home but there was no yelling, i was confussed now, i went to my door and unlocked it, i heard muttering downstairs, then i heard footsteps coming my way i shut the door and went to my bed

knock, knock, knock

i was puzzled again, they never knocked

"erm come in" i said calmly

my door slowly opened and riku walked in and shut my door and just looked at me from across the room

"r..riku?" i asked puzzled