Chapter 2: Jigsaw Pieces
(This shows a flashback. "This" is speech. "This" is thought unless in a flashback in which "This" is speech and 'this' is thought. This is music lyrics.)
I ran out of the bathroom, rushed and pressured. I felt nervous and cornered like an animal about to be eaten by it's prey. It was only a meeting with one of the most important people i've ever known, right? If only my sister was here; she always knew what to do. I think she was my hero. She was always so strong. She never let life get to her. It reminds me of a song. She was strong until one day she just broke down.
I never saw her after that.
The thought of her dead irked me so I just stopped thinking about her all together. I couldn't think about her without having death related thoughts. Our whole family was dead, I'm pretty sure. All of them were killed one way or another.
I shook my head to get rid of my dark thoughts. I checked the time. I only had ten minutes to get out of here. I looked around at my plain room. It had a bed with a regular mattress, no sheets. I didn't ever see the need to decorate in life. 'SO CLOSE! RUN FOR IT!' I was startled so suddenly out of my thoughts I thought I was going to fall straight on my face but I caught myself. I was now deep in adrenaline I thought my breathing was as heavy as the weights I use. I felt like I was drowning in my own cold sweat. "Fuck." I muttered out loud. "What the hell was that?" I thought shakily. "Another fucking voice."
I looked around at the room again, this time a quick inspection. I left nothing here. The only possessions I really had only one item that I practically took with me everywhere. A picture of me and my sister. I valued to photo a lot. More then my own life, in fact.
I miss my sister.
I looked at the green on back numbers on my alarm clock. 5 minutes till doomsday. She headed back into her bathroom and looked in the mirror. A crazed look sparked in her golden eyes.
"Perfection is so close..." I thoughts as I touched my stitches gingerly. "Perfection is close and it begins with the 141." My head snapped to the door as it opened and my captain came into the room.
"What the fuck, Stitch?!" he cried out and grabbed my arm. I winced, not used to the interaction. He started dragging me outside. "Your going to be late!" He pushed me forward and I stubbled a bit. "Get on it!" I knew he was trying to be playful but I almost couldn't hold the urge to strangle him, slowly.
"Fuck you." I also called to him as he left. I walked through the colourless halls and was met with faces. So many faces. Some anonymous and others recognizable. Memories drained into my mind as I saw the faces of my fellow soldiers. Most of the pictures that were shoved into my mind were ones of death.
I quickened my pace as I realized I didn't have time for this. "Wait.." I realized out loud a confused look dawning on my features. "Where the fuck was I supposed to meet the General?" I asked myself aloud, my stitches hurt. "Damn you, Zain. Even on my last day you have to make my life hell." I cursed my Captain and finally noticed the chuckling behind me.
My face turned a deathly pale as I realized the General just heard that. "Oh Shit! So much for first impressions being good. Fuck Zain!" Damn straight, fuck Zain.
I saluted, awkwardly. And respectfully called out to him, "Sir!" I tried to recover my surprise and it worked. I was emotionless once more. I was perfect again.
He finished chuckling but an amused face was glued on him, he nodded. "Soldier, you are here because you," he pointed at me, "are going to join my team. Or at least the one I control." Wait, what?
"Permission to speak freely, sir?" he nods, and I start talking again, "Why me sir?"
He gets an unfriendly glint in his eyes and I'm suddenly self cautious as he starts sizing me up. "Do you not wish for the job?" he inquires and I'm suddenly dying on the inside.
"Of course not sir!" I yelp, a bit scared of the General now, "However," I pause hoping I've made myself as clear as possible. "There are plenty of better soldiers than me. So I can only ask why me."
He nods in understanding and I'm relieved. "On your records it states you are the best here, you even surpass your captain." Take that Zain! Fuck you Zain!" Pride fills my core but I don't show how smug I truly am. He continues on, "And it also says you have had no team missions." "Oh shit! Here it comes.." "Why is that?" Makarov is firing a hundred different bombs in my head right now.
I do the only thing I can do, "Does.." You can do this! "it say on my records why..?" I have a small sliver of hope that it says in full detail why I don't bother to go on team missions.
To my surprise he just nodds silently and doesn't burden with any more words on the topic. "So do you accept?"
My eyes got crazed for a moment as I heard another voice. 'So close..' the voice mumbled and I look at the General with my eyes sparkling with one word; victory. "Of course sir!" "Perfection. Perfection. Perfection. Perfection. Perfection." my thoughts are clogged with that single word.
"Good." he says with a form of smug satisfaction and I'm suddenly relieved. I don't show it though. I never do.
I'm just a step away
I'm just a breath away
Losin' my faith today
(Fallin' off the edge today)
I am just a man
Not superhuman
(I'm not superhuman)
Someone save me from the hate
'I KNOW YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR BREAKING!' Another voice screams to me but I don't show how horrified I am. The voice sounded harmonic and like a females, it was so tender. It was exactly like my sister's voice.
I'm brought to reality once more and he looks at me, "You start tomorrow." 'Your not ready..' the same voice tells me.
I don't fucking care.
It's just another war
Just another family torn
(Falling from my faith today)
Just a step from the edge
Just another day in the world we live
I need a hero to save me now
I need a hero (save me now)
I need a hero to save my life
A hero'll save me (just in time)
It's all over; and I start tomorrow. I suddenly feel something in my mind. It's not fear for myself. It's fear for them.
I smirk as see the General leave. Oh yes.. "I'm not scared for myself. I'm scared for them."
'Your terrified for them.'