A/N: This chapter is going to be on the short side but it's entirely necessary for the rest of the story. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, I'm sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter, between homework and my editor being picky and trying to get it absolutely perfect I got caught up.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Shouldn't we all understand that by now? Why do I have to do this for every chapter?!
Chapter 2
Ryuuzaki's P.O.V
I drifted into consciousness slowly and miserably. I didn't want to wake up, reality was more miserable than dreamland. Light was with me in my dream, in reality he was gone. After 3 minutes of lying down with closed eyes I finally mustered up enough strength to open my eyes and they burned from the light of the sun that came through my window.
It was too bright, too happy. I didn't like it. I got up and quickly closed the curtains, blocking the light away. I knew that if it came through my window it was coming through every other room in the building also. I et out through the building closing the curtains in every room, including the ones that were no longer in use, leaving the building just like I was, without Light.
Eventually I wandered into the kitchen to close the curtains and saw Watari cooking breakfast. "Good morning, did you have a good sleep?" I didn't answer as I proceeded to close the curtains. "Ryuuzaki?" I still didn't respond. I was worn out, not physically but emotionally drained. I plopped down into the nearest chair and rested my face in my hands, I wanted to weep, I wanted to die. I tensed up when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"It's okay," Watari said softly. I longed to tell him how it was the exact opposite of okay but I kept my mouth shut. "Do you want to talk about it?" When he said that I stood swiftly and began to walk out of the kitchen grabbing a box of diamond shaped chocolates before leaving. I went back into my room which was darker than the rest due to thicker curtains.
Tears began to cloud my vision as I sat in the middle of my bed eating the fancy chocolates one by one. I allowed the tears to fall and I didn't stop them as they rolled slowly down my cheeks. I was empty and not even the sweet taste of chocolate could console me. I needed Light and I hadn't realized how much I really did love him until he left.
But did he really love me or was he trying to get me to drop him as a Kira suspect? The idea that the love he showed could all have been false made me cry even harder. It couldn't have been true, maybe I was just being paranoid. If Light really never did love me then I no longer had a reason to live, no reason to live through this torture from day to day. It was only the hope that Light loved me and we would reunite again some day that kept me alive.
If he didn't love me then what hope was there? If there was no hope then I was destined to die. I laid down in the fetal position and my body shook with sobs. I felt like a child lost in the woods. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine how the situation could be fixed, how I could see Light again. I'm sure if I got Watari to go see Soichiro Yagami then Soichiro could send Light here. I would ask him when I was emotionally stable again, until then I would stay in my room and try to rebuild myself piece by piece until I was presentable again. I had to see Light before I could be fully whole again, I had to know he loved me until I could be fully happy again.
Because if he didn't love me, then I was destined to die.
A/N: That ending was better than I thought, maybe it was a bit too rushed though. If it was then I sincerely apologize, but the next chapter will rock so don't give up on me just yet okay? REVIEW!!!