Blood Confessions

The thumping on my door hadn't stopped. It's a wonder Jace had still waited for me.

Magnus was throwing a party tonight, just because he was Magnus. I was getting ready and Jace was standing outside my door knocking for the past ten minutes.

"Izzy! How long are you going to be in there? I'm bored!" He shouted through the door.

"In a minute. I'm nearly done!" I said back.

I heard him groan and bang his head against door. "You said that ten minutes ago," He moaned like a kid, "Hurry up!"

I looked at myself in the mirror. A little black dress and the usual knee-high boots was the look tonight. It was pretty cold outside so I wore opaque tights and put on a thick, woollen coat. To be honest, I'd rather stay home tonight and do nothing than go party with random Downworlders.

I hadn't made an effort tonight. I took a nap earlier and had forgotten about the party till Jace reminded me half an hour ago.

What a challenge it was! I jumped out of bed, had a shower, did my hair, put some clothes on and a bit of make-up; I was done.

I felt more exhausted after that, than I had before I took a nap.

I should really have been awarded a medal. It's the shortest time I'd ever gotten ready in and Jace was complaining.

"Okay, okay. I'm done." I said, yanking my door open to find an annoyed looking Jace.

"Finally, I thought the party was going to be finished by the time you got out." Exaggeration much?

"Whatever. Are Simon and Clary here, yet?"

"Yes. They're outside." Good. I just needed to get to the party, stay for a bit and come home.

But, obviously, things don't always go to plan. Especially tonight, if he's there.

You see, the reason I'm not a party animal today is because I'm angry. And have been for the past week.

This day, last week, I'd had a little rendezvous in the Sanctuary with a certain Mr. Raphael Santiago.

I'm not angry about the fact that he complimented me or caressed my cheek. Or that he made me feel something I had never felt for any Downworlder I'd dated.

What really pissed me off was that he never answered my question.

Whenever I asked him a crucial question, he left me on a cliff hanger. He loved to tease, didn't he?

We reached the institute doors and pulled them open. A gust of cold air hit me and I shivered. I walked out while Jace pulled the doors closed and locked up.

Simon spotted us and waved. I smiled and walked over. "Hi, Simon, Clary."

"Hey, Izzy. Taking fashion tips from Alec now, are we?" He said looking over me. He was right of course. Not about taking tips from Alec, no, he should be taking tips from me. Clary tilted her head and looked me over too. I was dressed in all black as if I'd come back from a funeral.

"That's ridiculous. As if I'll ever go to Alec for fashion advice." I replied and winked at them. We laughed about it for a bit waiting for Jace.

He finally secured everything and jogged over to us. "Come on, let's go." He kissed Clary and they went off together.

Simon and I trailed behind them. "So, what's with the outfit, really?"

"Well, if I'm not in a party mood, then I don't have to make an effort." I shrugged.

Simon stopped walking. He gasped dramatically and held his face between his hands, facing me. He kind of resembled the Scream painting I'd once seen at the art gallery. I walked backwards still looking at his performance.

"Not in a party mood? You, Isabelle Lightwood?!" He shook his head in mock horror, "I must be dreaming, pinch me."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, I'll be doing worse than pinching you if you don't stop that." I said grinning.

We were walking for a few minutes when I remembered something. "Hey, how are you and Maia, by the way?"

He gave me a lopsided smile. We had become very close over the months. After he'd been turned he became different. He was still witty but it was like he'd matured and understood a lot more about Shadowhunters and Downworlders. "I'm still chasing after her and she still thinks of me as just a friend." He sighed, "I guess where back to square one."

I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Maybe something will happen at the party. Magnus' parties are always interesting and unpredictable." Simon had been trying to get Maia's attention for a while but she seemed oblivious to any gesture he attempted. She thought it was all out of friendship. It was quite cute, on her side, but I knew Simon was struggling to tell her that he liked her.

He snorted slightly. "Oh, yes. I clearly remember the first time I went to Magnus' party. And as you can see, the result." He said pointing at his fangs. My smile dropped and he looked at me. He put his arm around my shoulders. "Izzy, it's not your fault. Come on. We've had this conversation many times before." He smiled and we walked like that to the subway station.

The rest of the journey, we talked about random things just to pass the time. The popular topic being the entertainment and guests at the party.

The apartment was a short walk away from the subway. Simon had been talking about Downworlders just now and obviously my thoughts drifted to him.

I was positive he'd be at the party. Magnus had mentioned him on the invite list; he hasn't turned it down has he?

He couldn't have, he told Magnus he would be coming.

What do you care? Said that little voice in my head.

Well...He had to be there, or else how was I going to get my answer!

I have stooped to a new low; fighting with myself.

I came out of the mental fight I was having and saw that we were here. Jace and Clary stopped and waited for us to catch up. Jace gave me an odd look and ruffled my hair. I didn't even care to move, like I normally would.

Taking in my bored look, he pushed me up the stairs saying, "Smile. It's party time, Sunshine!"

"Fine," I muttered.

I huffed and gave in, stomping up the stairs. I pressed the buzzer near the only name plate that had a name, 'Bane'.

I pressed it again. The door flew open revealing Magnus in one of his ever extravagant outfits. His hair was spiked as normal - with glitter, of course - but he had a purple streak tonight to match his purple and black jacket.

He smiled brightly at us as Alec came to stand beside him. "Ahh, the rest of the cohort has arrived." Alec smiled and waved us in, "You all look rather dashing."

Jace and Clary had rushed inside to the warmth with Simon in tow. I shut the door behind me as everyone walked up the rickety staircase. Magnus stopped to give look over me.

"Isabelle dear, what's with the outfit? You seem to have picked up on Alec's emo trend." Alec looked incredulously between us and his boyfriend.

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" Now, where do I start?

"Honestly, Alec honey. I'd be more than happy to use your sweaters as Chairman Meow's blanket than have you walk around in it." Jace burst out laughing.

Alec glared at us while we joined in by snickering. "Anyway, why are you dressed in all black?" Mused Alec.

"Because there are so many dead people around." Ah, Jace, "No offence." He said looking at Simon; oblivious to the glare given to him by the small group of vampires near the door.

Simon rolled his eyes. "None taken."

"Look I'd rather just get into the party, than hang about discussing our wardrobe choices." I pushed past Alec and walked quickly to the apartment.

I heard him murmuring to Jace and Magnus say, "Hmm. Someone's eager." I only came to not disappoint Magnus. I didn't mean to be rude to everyone but I was still irritated thinking about Raphael. I'd see him any minute I stepped in.

Here we go then. There's no avoiding him now. Raphael loved to tease, so let's see what he has up his sleeves tonight.

It didn't take long to spot him. He was near the table of snacks with another vampire. She was standing close, very close, moving her body around him seductively. Bitch.

My fists clenched into balls. I had the urge to bring out my whip cut the hand off that was drawing on his chest.

As I thought of more ways to torture her, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Party not to your liking?" It was Magnus, he snickered. "I feel the same for your outfit."

"Ugh! I thought we'd gotten off of this topic."

Clary and Jace moved to stand in front of me. She placed her small, slender hands on my shoulder. "Isabelle, what's wrong? You've been acting weird the whole way here."

"And don't say otherwise, we see right through you, Iz." Jace added.

I glared at them. "Nothing. Is. Wrong."

I removed Clary's hands off my shoulders. I started to walk away when Jace muttered, "If looks could kill..."

Magnus' party was full ahead when we arrived. Alec had greeted us at the door. He didn't seem like the party type, but I guess having a High Warlock of Brooklyn as a boyfriend, who dresses so extravagantly, comes as part of the package.

He was nothing like Isabelle. But as far as looks go, they had the same jet black hair and pale skin but their eyes were different. His were a bright blue like the rest of the Lightwoods, whereas hers were dark and fierce.

The party was like any other of Magnus'. The room was cleared of furniture but a few pieces. A bar was set up in the corner of the room. Neon coloured bottles and glasses lined the edge of the bar. Lighting up that side as if it was a showcase that held valuable possessions. Other than that visible light, the room was filled in a purple haze.

The room was filled with dancing bodies moving closely together to the music. It was apparent that Faerie music was playing, the wailing voices sang of happiness and truth.

Some of the fledglings had disappeared into the crowd. I spotted Elliot with a Faerie. She was pretty, moving around him and leaning in to whisper in his ear. Her long coppery hair flowed around her, hitting her waist. It reminded me of Isabelle. Her black hair that was so shiny and sleek when let down.

I was caught up in thinking of her I hadn't realised I'd made my way to the bar. I picked up the glass filled halfway with bright red liquid. It was the one that looked most appealing...Well, to me it did. I lifted it up to my lips and drank it in one go. It wasn't bad, I could definitely drink a couple more.

I stayed sat on the stool near the bar watching the Faeries and demons mingle with the vampires. Lily came over and sat next to me. She'd fed just recently. I smelled rich fragrance of fresh blood when she opened her mouth to speak.

"Raphael. Not enjoying the party?" A sly smile appeared on her red lips, "You should loosen up a little." Lily was up to something. She was always like this at parties; mischievous and flirty.

"I'm not a party person. I only come to watch over you lot." I said looking away.

"Well, why not try doing something different..." She stood up to stand in front of me.

"Lily." I warned, but she ignored it. Lily took my hands in hers and pulled me up. It was stupid. How did she think she was going to get me to dance?

Isabelle wasn't here yet and I was bored as always, so I played along. She let go of one of my hands and pulled me to the crowd.

Lily was smart and knew she was playing with fire but she didn't care. She's tried this with me too many times, and every time I've rejected her offer.

After the meeting with Isabelle, my mood had dropped slightly. She would never believe me if she knew the truth. So I thought, why not play a game and give her hints. If she can piece the clues together she wins, if not we continue playing. We can play as long as we have to but I don't think I'll be able to contain myself.

My gaze had drifted off of Lily and to the door. My thoughts had wondered off to Isabelle again. I had a feeling my little game wouldn't last long. Lily realised my lack of interest and started danced closer trying to capture my interest. It wouldn't work, she knew it but she still tried. I admired that, but didn't she ever get bored? Maybe our Lily was playing a game herself to stay entertained.

I let her dance around me for her enjoyment. When her hands moved up my arms and around my neck, I excused her. When they moved to my chest and over my torso, I smiled. For tonight's game is about to start. Isabelle Lightwood has just arrived.

I faintly heard her complaining outside. She came in and spotted me and Lily standing close. Lily slinking around me the whole time.

Through the corner of my eyes, I saw her stare become hard. Her fists clenched watching Lily's closeness.

It was a funny sight. She didn't know I was watching her, observing her actions.

Her anger flared even more when her friends came to ask if she was okay. She glared and walked away towards the bar. She picked up a glass of pink liquid and drank in one go. She mumbled, "Stupid Raphael!"

This was a record for me. I normally got bored after a few hours not a few minutes. Jace and Clary had probably gone somewhere to make-out. Same goes for Alec and Magnus, which left me alone near the bar.

I drank a few glasses of the neon liquid. They all looked so pretty. They were beverages Magnus had conjured up. All non-alcoholic but with a little kick he called "Feeling Boosters".

My eyes stayed on Raphael and his little vampire toy. He hadn't looked my way yet but I was sure he probably knew I was here. This was all just part of his game.

"What's with the death glare?" Magnus chuckled at his joke. He was standing against the pillar following my gaze."Jealous, are we?" How long had he been standing there?

"Why would I be jealous of her?!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I looked away, heat rising through my face.

A mischievous smile appeared, "I didn't exactly mean jealous of her..." His gaze flickered between me and Raphael. He pushed off from the pillar and walked away. "Be careful, Isabelle."

Crap. How could I be so stupid? Magnus has probably got his suspicions now. I'll have to be more careful now.

I felt Simon come next to me. "Isabelle, you okay?" He looked at me worriedly. "You want to go get some air?"

I whirled around to face him. Simon was my friend. I know I'd feel guilty about doing this but I was so pissed off.

"Simon, please. I'm fine. Will everyone just stop asking me that?!" I shouted, "I'm just not feeling up to it today. You're all acting like this is a crisis or something!"

He didn't look hurt but had a knowing look. He'd heard many of my outbursts before and has become immune to them. As had every other person who knew me well enough. "Ok, Izzy." He smiled trying to pick up my mood, "Look, how about we dance?"

I thought about it for a bit but seeing that girl flirting with Raphael put me off. My fists clenched around the hem of my dress.

"Thanks for the offer, Simon but I think I'll pass. The drinks are making me feel a bit woozy." I lied but I couldn't tell him the truth now could I?

"Come on let's sit down then." He put his hand on my forearm wanting to guide me to the chair but I shook him off gently.

"You know, I saw Maia come in." I smiled at him slyly "Why sit when there's your chance, lover boy." So sweet. If only vampires could blush. He narrowed his eyes at me when my smile got bigger.

"Izzy..." He started, but I pushed him in the direction I saw Maia going. Aw. Downworlder love. There was something really wrong with me. I was feeling giddy inside. I'm going to have a chat with Magnus about his choice of beverages.

Anyway, I turned on my heel but didn't make a full turn before I slammed into something hard. Oh, gosh. Face first as well. I stumbled, strong hands grasped my shoulders and held me upright. I froze, my eyes glued to his chest. Why did this touch feel so familiar?

Could it be him?

My eyes slowly moved up his sweater clad chest. The cut low enough to the show the faint scar on his honey-coloured skin. The familiar chiselled jaw and gleaming, white smile. It was coming back to me...

One week ago ~

"I stayed..." He started. His head dipped down near my ear. I gasped as his cold lips grazed my cheek. "Because I wanted to see you."

Did he just say what I think he just said? What's his reason for wanting to see me?

The same as your reason.

I blinked, realising where I was. I was in the Sanctuary with Raphael leaning next to me. I gulped and collected myself. I reached my hands up to gently push against his chest. He leaned back to face me. We were inches apart. He was looking down at me with a glint in his eyes.

"Why?"

He just looked at me. I looked back and this time I really looked.

He couldn't have been much older than me when he Turned. About sixteen or seventeen. He had a perfectly angled face, his features sharp. Thick, black curls falling half way down his forehead. It was shorter now than when I'd first saw him. His hands were strong on my shoulder, keeping me from hitting the wall.

I leaned back further focusing on the smile framing his white teeth.

Present day ~

The same smile was addressing me now. I felt my cheeks going pink. The last time we were this close it was in private, and yes Alec had walked in, but he hadn't seen much. Now, we were in public for everyone to see.

His smile was taunting and it made me angrier as I remembered he never answered my question.

I stared at him, my glare hard.

"You haven't answered my question, yet." I said angrily.

He kept the smile on his face but said, "What question would that be?" Forget about pink. Now, I was sure my cheeks were scarlet. I rarely blush. I reminded myself that he was just provoking me.

She blushed. It was like someone had taken a paint brush and painted her cheeks a deep scarlet. I could see she tried hard to contain it, but failed.

"Don't answer a question with a question." She said, gritting her teeth. I was making her agitated. I'd decided to work with this. Add some more fun into the game. Last time, I tried to refrain from making her angry. But this could be an advantage.

I chuckled. "You're quite cranky today. I guess Magnus' entertainment doesn't play up to your standards."

"Don't change the subject." Her face became redder as I made her angrier. She looked cute when angry.

I leaned down and whispered, "Should I show you my way of fun?" She immediately looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to us. They weren't. Half of them were drunk on whatever Magnus had conjured up. The others were the Fey who could really care less. They were too involved in themselves.

When she saw that no-one was she said, "What would you know about fun? Sucking on peoples necks?"

"Oh, my bad. I didn't realise you were an expert," I smirked at her, "So what's your idea of fun? Killing demons in Central Park after dark?"

Jackpot. I had definitely crossed the line now. She pushed against my chest hard. If I were not a vampire, that probably would've hurt. She was out of my grasp and walking away in all her rage.

I smiled after her. What a piece of work, she was.

I stood there for a few minutes, concentrating on her over the wailing singing of the Faerie band.

She got to the door and met Jace. "I'm done with the party. I'm going home."

Jace had a "big brother" tone on. "Should I call you a cab? I'm not having you going home now, by yourself."

"Don't worry. I'll handle it." she said, "I'll see you back at home. Bye."

Again I heard her muttering, "Stupid Raphael" before she closed the front door. My smiled widened.

Time to play. I pushed passed the group of Faeries and made my way out the door.

I saw her a few metres away. Walking slowly, her hands stuffed into her pockets, as if she was thinking hard about something. I hoped she was in deep thought and wouldn't hear me.

Sometimes I felt like driving a stake through his dead heart. Why did he have to do that?

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I came out. My face was still red and felt hot.

I was glad Mom wasn't home. I wouldn't have to answer her questions

I heard a noise but I ignored it. It was probably Downworlders going inside. The temperature had risen and my skin was crawling with goose bumps. Pulling the coat around me tighter was no help either. I tried walking faster away from the apartment but a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"What's the rush?" Raphael. I was a jealous wreck twenty minutes ago. I didn't want to be anywhere near him now. I started walking again, trying to ignore his presence.

He fell into step beside me. "Are you giving me the silent treatment?" His voice amused. "I wonder how long that will last." There was that hint of sarcasm which annoyed me.

I stopped again and faced him. "And what is that supposed to mean?!"

"Just that you won't be able to resist talking with me, Miss. Lightwood." He stepped closer, "Look at you, ten seconds in and shouting already."

"Can you just leave me be?" I turned away but he held my arm. His grip was strong and held me in place.

"Didn't your brother tell you he didn't want you going home by yourself?" Now he was eavesdropping on me. "I'll give you a lift."

"I don't need a lift. I'm perfectly fine going by myself." It was getting colder and having him so close to me didn't help either.

"I know that, but it isn't safe now. Who knows what's lurking out there?"

He had a good point. I'd never actually been out alone so late in a long time. Mom, Jace or Alec had always been with me. Also, he was offering me a ride on his badass vampire bike.

"I can tell you're considering it. Come on. I won't bite you!" He laughed and pulled my arm gently.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, let's go."

His face lit up. He nodded and let go of my arm.

I hadn't made it very far. I was still on Magnus' street.

His bike was parked with all the others. All black and silver chrome, glistening under the streetlights. I have to say, Vampires bikes were much better looking than mundane bikes. They had less going on, sleeker and somewhat sexy.

I'd never ridden on a motorcycle; I was excited by the thought of even sitting on one.

My excitement must have been obvious. "Never been on one?"

I shook my head.

"Great. Well, I hope tonight is something to remember." He said, winking.

He lifted his leg over to the other side and sat down. I followed his actions while he made himself comfortable.

I was glad to have worn tights. I felt my dress and coat bunch up around my upper thighs as I sat. I've always worn revealing outfits. But for the first time I felt conscious.

Every touch, every look, every word of his made me feel something in my gut. He could make all these new emotions swirl inside me.

I've yet to find out why I felt this way, if he ever answered my question that is.

"Are you ready?" Raphael asked looking at me. I nodded. "Hold on tight."

Once I made myself comfortable on the seat I held onto his shoulders tightly. I wanted to do different but I wasn't sure how he'd react.

He let out a short laugh. "Miss. Lightwood, we're going to be travelling really fast. So, unless you want to fall and break your bones, I suggest you put your arms around my waist."

He was giving me permission to put my arms around me, and I was sitting here frozen. I cleared my throat and looped my arms around his waist. I clasped my hands together at the front. He looked down at my hands and back at me, smirking. What was funny about this?

"Ok then. Let's go." I soon realised when he started the bike and the engine roared to life. The bike lurched forward throwing me against his back. He spoke loudly over the noise. "This is what I meant by 'Hold on tight', Isabelle."

Ok, I guess I deserved that. Why was I being so shy and stupid when he was telling me to hold on to him? This is what I wanted to do in the first place, and now I was hesitant.

I let go of my hands and tightened my arms around his waist, leaning into his back. My face was inches away from the point his neck and shoulder met.

"Better?" I said looking up at him.

"Much better." He said grinning.

We got on the bike and I told her to hold onto me.

She held onto my shoulders tightly. I saw her eyes move to my waist the whole time. She was holding back. Did she think I wouldn't like it?

I decided to make things easier for her. I asked her to put her arms around my waist. She hesitated as they went loosely around me.

Why was she being like this? She was shy now, not her usual confident self.

The engine of the bike roared and she fell against my back. Now did she get the point?

She tightened her arms and leaned against me, looking up at my face.

"Better?" She asked. Her face looked so angelic and pale against the dark of the night.

Oh, you have no idea. "Much better." I said grinning like an idiot.

The bike thrust forward. I felt her arms tightening their hold on me as she rested her head on my shoulder.

Her cheek touched my jaw as I turned the bike round. The sudden touch made me jolt but she didn't notice. I wondered if the cold of skin sent her shivers. If it did, she didn't move away at least. The feel of her porcelain skin felt good.

I rounded the curb and slowed by speed. "Are we stopping?" Her voice soft near my ear.

"No. We're going up." She looked alarmed.

"What?!" Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"What's wrong? Afraid of heights?" Was she scared of flying?

"No. I mean...You said..." she stammered.

"I said I would give you a lift." I smirked as she gulped.

"You really do mean what you say." She whispered.

"Never underestimate me, Isabelle." I picked up the speed again, getting ready to take off. "Hold on, tight." I said, putting extra emphasis on 'tight'.

The engine roared up and she grasped my jacket, her knuckles turning white.

The bike surged forward and Isabelle let out a small shriek.

I hadn't thought we would actually be flying!

The bike was launched itself into space in mere seconds.

My hair whipped around my face as we rose up higher. New York City was spread out under us. The city with its high rise building and apartment blocks fit together like a puzzle around the emerald square of Central Park. The clubs and bars lit up like jewels, dotted around Brooklyn. Everything looked different from up here. It was clearer, spread out simply, with none of the complications.

My hands stayed bound onto his waist. I felt his abdominal muscles constrict against my hands.

We stayed in that position up in the air for a few minutes, flying over the East River. The Cathedral came into view and I felt a twinge loneliness. I was close to home. No-one was there, I'd be alone.

No Jace to argue with. No Alec to make fun of.

The bike jerked under them and lunged forward. Raphael swore in a mix of languages. "Sorry." I wasn't sure if it was on behalf of the bike or the latter.

We were nearing the cathedral. The familiar trees and hedges surrounding the edges of the clearing. We were landing out of the sight of the Institute. If Mom was inside she wouldn't see us.

The roar started to die down as the front wheel touched ground. It rumbled a little under us then the engine shut off. Silence zoned in on us, reminding me that my blissful trip was over.

I wanted to savour this moment. Where both of us were calm and I wasn't angry at him for irritating me.

I lifted my head and retracted my arms. I carefully lifted my leg over the bike and smoothed my clothes.

Raphael lifted his head to look at me, "Are you okay?"

And for the first time today, the question didn't annoy me.

"I'm fine." His eyes locked with mine while he got off the bike. "Thank you for the lift." I smiled weakly.

He closed the distance between us so we were standing face to face. "No problem."

His gaze was too intense. I wanted to walk away but I couldn't get myself to move. "I should be going now." I forced my eyes to away from him. "Bye"

His hand shot out before I made a move.

"Stay." His voice came out rushed. I thought I saw a look of desperation flash in his eyes. Were we back to playing the game now?

I moved towards him, now chest to chest. "What? Another surprise?" I decided to play along. "I'm excited to see this." I put on a playful smile.

He gave me a small smile. "Yes. But I'm not sure how you will react to it."

What did he mean? I found out when he moved closer and leaned down. His hand trailed up my back keeping me frozen in place.

His hand moved up and down my back putting me in a trance. He leaned down even further; his breath was cold on my cheek. The sudden touch of fingers on mine brought me to reality. I remembered his game and the teasing. The glint in his eyes at the party. The vampire girl who was all over him.

I used all my strength to push him away. "What do you think you're doing?!"

Raphael's arms dropped to his side. He didn't seem surprised. "Did I not say that I wasn't sure how you will react?"

I fumed. How could he look so calm? Of course he could. All he thought of me was a plaything. He didn't care if I had an outburst or actual feelings for him.

Did I have feeling for him? Is that why I was so jealous and angry?

"Understand this Raphael Santiago!" I pointed at him. "I'm not you're plaything to mess around with and then leave. Don't think I'll drool over you like your little vampire."

He looked confused. "'My little vampire'? What are you-" Realisation hit him. "Oh, you mean Lily. She's not my plaything."

"So you're just that friendly with everyone, huh?"

His smirk came back.

"So you were jealous of her? I thought so. Don't think I didn't miss the glares you were giving Lily." He'd been watching me at the party. I was jealous and he'd seen it all. I guess I expressed myself a little too much.

"No point saying otherwise. I heard and saw everything." I knew he would see right through me if I lied.

By the angel. There was no getting out of this.

"Look. I won't play in your game anymore, Raphael" Tears stung in my eyes. I turned my back to him. "You can go back to Lily or whoever else catches your eye. I'm done with this."

"What game are you talking about? What plaything? You're not making sense." He spoke loudly, confused.

"The game in which you toy with my feelings and then throw me away like I meant nothing." The tears were too much to contain. They fell down my cheeks. "I've always dated Downworlders for short times, but even then I didn't do what you did with me." My voice broke at the end.

He was next to me in a flash. "Isabelle." He took my shoulders and turned me to face him.

Raphael looked shocked when he saw my tear stricken face. I knew I looked horrible. My eyes felt swollen and stung. My lips trembled; I bit on them to stop. I looked down at my boots as the tears kept falling. Only a few saw me like this. And he was one of them.

"Isabelle, what I did was stupid. It isn't how you think." He reached out and wiped the tears away. "I wanted to know your feelings. So, I did a number of ludicrous things to make you jealous and angry, to see if you felt the same about me." He said as his hand stroked my hair.

My head snapped up to meet his eyes. My eyes were wide in disbelief. I heard him clearly but was unable to process it. He wasn't toying with me; he was just as confused as I am.

I gulped. My voice came out unsteady. "I don't believe you." Even though deep down I wanted it to be true. I wanted to believe him.

"Isabelle, look at me." His voice was harsh and his hold tightened. "I'm not like your two minute boyfriends. I'm not doing this to mess around. Though I may be dead, I do have feelings." He pulled me to him. "This is all new to me. I'm not sure how to say it. I've never had these feelings before." His voice was pleading, for me to believe him.

My breathing became ragged. He was confessing to me. I opened my mouth to speak but he put his finger on my lips to stop me. He gave me a look that I'd never seen on him before. It was a smile that was sincere and reached his eyes. Raphael slightly shook his head at me.

"Shh." He leaned down near my ear and I remembered the Sanctuary. "You might have forgotten now but, I have yet to answer your question from before."

He remembered and I had forgotten. Damn it.

Raphael was in front of me. I stared into his eyes and felt his cold breath on my lips as he spoke. "You asked me 'Why?'. I did all this because of you. Because I'm in love with you, Isabelle Lightwood."

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't mutter a word. That was okay because I didn't have to. Raphael leaned in and said the unspoken words for me.

His lips crushed mine. It was hard at first but became sweet and gentle. One of his hands was on the small of my back and the other stroked my hair.

My arms looped around his neck pulling him down. This wasn't like any experience I've had with a Downworlder. This felt almost euphoric. He was so strong yet he could be so gentle with me. We kissed for what seemed like hours, occasionally coming up for air and staring into each other's eyes.

A smile lit up his face and he pulled me into his arms for a hug. I hugged him back, tightly, as if I was keeping him from leaving.

We stayed wrapped up like that until a stray cat cried, breaking us out of our reverie. That didn't stop Raphael though. Once I moved back, I was pulled back into him again. I felt his body shake when he laughed silently.

It took me a while to understand it but what I was feeling was a deep affection, adoration and care for someone. Something I had never thought I'd do. I was in love with him and I had never felt anything better than this.

A/N: Hope you guys liked it; second chapter completed after 8 days. School messed up everything and I couldn't write as much Look forward to an epilogue chapter next, will be short, will include A LOT of teasing and a shy Isabelle [GASP]

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. All rights are to Cassandra Clare.