Let me start by saying I am not a fan of long author's notes. So, with that, I'll try to make this one informative but brief.
First, I wanted to respond to the 6 comments I got on the first part of this story. And I think everyone should read the following responses, even if you didn't comment.
Anonymous: The fact that mine was the first A&A fic that you felt compelled to review makes me feel cooler than I've felt in a long time so thanks so much for that lol.
XxxMeAndMyStoriesxxX: I'm glad you don't really hate me and appreciate you making that clear. Also, "take it out idiot" made me laugh for a good 3 minutes SERIOUSLY.
Pancakesxpickles: *hands you a tissue* Thanks love.
Guest that asked about plot: Honestly I'm not sure if the first part of this story had a plot. I looked up the definition of plot and it's supposed to be "the development of a dramatic storyline". So, if I had to answer, I'd probably say no there was really no solid plot there. But that's kind of why I love doing one-shots and why 99% of my stories are as such. I love doing a sort of snapshot in time that jumps right into the drama and the emotions. Plus, sometimes I'm just too lazy to develop characters and background and stuff lol. And at the same time, I get what you're saying about stories beginning negatively but ending positively. I could totally do that and I have like once or twice but there's something about the tragic endings that appeal to me. I like making the ending of the story more realistic, more heartbreaking and less cotton candy.
Guest that loved and hated it: I understand your conflict. Hopefully this will help you sort out what you're feelings…?
Guest with the 4 OMGs: You win the prize and I'll explain why in this long ass note.
So this was totally supposed to be a one-shot. Austin was supposed to call her Madison, she was supposed to cry, fade to black, cut, end of scene. BUT, then I read OMG Guest's comment. He/She couldn't believe how oblivious Austin was being and that immediately made me think 'hmmm…WOULD he be this oblivious?'. And once I thought that, my imagination went wild and came up with a second half to the story. So thank you OMG Guest, because you inspired a continuation that was never meant to be :).
I decided to break the second half up into 2 parts just because I felt like I came to a natural stopping point. So after this post there will be one more chapter. I know where I want the last one to go but I haven't even started writing it yet so it may take a while. I don't plan on going any further with this after the 3rd chapter. HOWEVER, I really didn't expect to be extending this one shot AT ALL so I guess it is possible that, if someone makes another inspiring comment, I may be writing more for this. But as of right now I really don't plan on it so I don't want to get your hopes up.
Also, I made a few minor changes to the 1st part and I highly recommend rereading it if you've already read it just because I think it's even better now lol.
OKAY so this has gotten super long and I'm ending it now. I hope you enjoy the continuation and even if you don't please leave a review because I absolutely LOVE reviews. Thanks!
Even as he spiraled, lost in the vortex of pleasure between her legs, Austin caught a glimpse of the adoration gracing her features. And then, when the sensations overwhelmed him and he could no longer remain silent, he opened up his big mouth and called her Madison. He immediately knew that he'd said the wrong name. It was painfully obvious in the way her facial expression changed, especially after he said it a second time
A mass of wrinkles bunched quickly between her brows. Below, her wide and painfully dark eyes clouded. And those sweet lips propped suddenly open to gasp in blood red astonishment.
It wasn't the first time he had turned a Chelsea into a Kelsey or, even more egregiously, an Amy into a Bianca. He knew confusion, more often than not, came first, lasting anywhere from a flicker to a lingering moment or more. And then, usually, came the anger, the fury, the utter disbelief rimmed heavily with shame and disgust. It was a complex formula of female emotion Austin had become all too familiar with. So he buried his face in her neck and smothered it with kisses, attempting to soothe the scream he knew had to be forming, just like it had in so many tender throats before. With her inevitable explosion on the horizon, Austin's prime objective was to finish and escape.
She cried out and he pumped faster, anticipating the fury of a woman scorned but too close to a mind blowing climax to stop. He was actually kind of surprised she was taking so long to cuss him out or expel him from, currently, the only space in the universe he wanted to occupy. So when nerve branches in his lower abdomen came completely to life and his heart was pumping at full capacity and his peak was mere strokes away, he lifted his head and regarded her curiously with wild eyes. Austin didn't expect to see her head turned as far as it could go, pressing the side of her face tightly into the pillow, and shrouding her expression in darkness the lava lamps couldn't reach.
When they finally finished Ally couldn't pull her skirt down quickly enough, roughly yanking the blue fabric as soon as she felt him disengage. And that was really all she could feel at the moment. After the merciless shearing of her heart muscle, a protective numbness had taken over. Sure she could FEEL him continue to attack her virtue one rapid thrust at a time and she could FEEL her tattered cardiac fibers flapping against a bloody current, but the pain of it all wasn't fully registering.
Ally sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. Austin was a blur in her periphery, he was the wet snap of a condom being removed. She stared down at her hands in her lap, unsure what to do. Her freshly shaven legs were sure they wanted to bolt from the room, the party, and the galaxy. Her hands desperately wanted to punch him in the face. Her lips desired two things: to send a torrent of foul language raining down on that blond head and to immediately, idiotically, whisper afterwards that she forgave him. Her eyes were certain they wanted to produce more searing hot tears and irrigate the utter dryness she felt spreading within. But her brain and her heart, both numb and broken, made no orders and generated no actions.
Austin tossed the condom into a nearby wastebasket before skillfully tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. His body felt rested despite the thin film of sweat beneath his shirt. She was different from the others. Not just in the way she DIDN'T react to Madison, but in the way she made him feel. Being a pseudo-celebrity had gained him plenty of sexual experience; blondes, red heads, green eyed vixens with double D's, blue eyed angels with tapered waists. But of all the brown eyed brunettes he'd sampled…of all the pretty girls he'd tasted, she had to be the sweetest, she had to be the tightest.
"That was…" he sighed with a smile, searching for the adequate words and zipping his fly, "…awesome." That's all he could come up with, 2 syllables that still weren't quite enough. Even though he was a singer/musician, Austin was, admittedly, not the greatest with words. But the euphoria born from soul soothing sex still lingered over him making it difficult to think straight.
Her numbness shattered like glass. Had his voice really been luxurious velvet just a week ago? Before Ally knew it, she was white-knuckling the hem of her dress as an ugly laugh sheared her throat.
"Awesome?"
Austin froze with an end of his belt in each hand. She was staring at him with eyes not even the darkness could hide and not even the lava lamps could soften.
"You think that was AWESOME!?" she choked.
He cleared his throat and tried not to read too far between the thin black lines running down her cheeks. Didn't they make waterproof mascara nowadays? Austin wasn't a chick and even he knew that.
"Aw come on a-…" he paused as she continued to engulf him with those eyes. He offered her a smirk as a peace offering, "Awesome is a pretty good way to describe it don't you think?"
She continued to stare, mouth slightly agape, until it finally happened. Her eyebrows knit suddenly and tightly together, just like he knew they would. Austin had made a mistake by remaining in the room so long after the fact, even though they'd only pulled themselves apart minutes ago. He looked down and begin to slowly buckle his belt. Usually he'd save such minor details for his post-sex march of pride. After giving a girl the dirty business, he'd come strolling from the bedroom, one hand holding up his half unzipped, fully unbuckled jeans, the other doling out high-fives and fistbumps. That's the normal routine.
Not this time though. This time when he came back up for air, instead of swimming straight to shore, he had stayed to tread the water. This time he had lingered.
His hands moved in slow motion, attempting to buy himself some time before he inevitably had to look back up. In the deafening silence he could still hear her brow furrowing deeper and deeper, he could sense the fury blooming in her pupils. When she finally spoke, it was in a voice too quiet for him to hear.
"Huh?" Austin forced himself to make eye contact and felt his heart stagger so subtly that he almost missed it.
Ally didn't even hesitate in repeating herself. "I said," her mouth moving tightly, "fuck you."
A brief pause and the anger hiccupped again.
"Fuck you."
Her hands ached as they gripped the dress and impaled themselves with her acrylic nails. The words quickly welled up once more, spewing forth like vomit.
"Fuck. YOU."
Unlike 'beautiful', neither of these words were foreign to her. But did she ever think she'd be saying them to Austin Moon, in this order, with this brain-melting rage? Never.
Austin sighed heavily. He hated this part. There were always a couple of girls that had to scream and shout and guilt trip him into oblivion. Somehow just getting a slap across the face and a door slam was easier. "Look don't get upset ok-"
"Don't get upset!?" she cried. Her hands relaxed as flames flickered from them, "Don't get upset!?" Ally approached him quickly and pressed a manicured finger between his pecs, hard, "Fuck. YOU!" tears filled her eyes again. Furious ones this time.
Austin faltered significantly. He hated this part, "Uh a-" he stopped to clear his throat and gather himself. But she was already slamming both of her palms into his chest and sending him slightly backwards.
"FUCK YOU!" The scream rocketed from a largely unexplored darkness inside of her. She suspected it was the same wild garden from which "Allison" had been skillfully harvested. Her voice echoed against drywall and reverberated in skull bones. Then, when it no longer rang in their ears, an all-encompassing quiet engulfed Trent's bedroom.
Austin stared as those eyes of hers swirled like lakes reflecting a starless midnight sky. He took a deep breath, fearful of drowning and the way his heartbeat stuttered.
Ally trembled as she searched his eyes and his face. Just at the very edge of her fury was a colorless wisp of hope that, somehow, he'd see past all the makeup and girly bullshit. She studied the soft pink of his lips and remembered how they kissed her so tenderly one minute and then whispered 'Madison' the next. Pain blossomed behind her ribs, fresh and vibrant. She stared into his eyes, loving and hating the warm walnut color living there. All she wanted was for realization to spark in those brown irises. He had to recognize her now that Allison was buried and Ally stood there before him with anger smoldering and tears brimming. He HAD to recognize her. So she waited. And, as seconds of unremarkable silence ticked by, her pain intensified, her tears mounted, and her body trembled harder.
One slow, agonizing heartbeat later, and Austin couldn't take it anymore. He averted his gaze, looking to a pair of Trent's hastily discarded sneakers on the floor for salvation.
Ally felt the bottom of her universe completely fall away. There was no realization, no recognition. To him, she was just Madison, busting his balls for no reason. She shook her head, staring at eyes that were avoiding her like the plague.
"Fuck you."
He heard her whisper it venomously. And he knew the tears had finally spilled over because her sweet voice broke open at the very end. Austin visually traced the lines of Trent's shoelaces as complete and utter discomfort consumed him. He REALLY hated this part. It wasn't until the click of her high heels faded and the door slammed shut that he was able to let out a shaky breath.
Ally stumbled from the bedroom, partially blinded by angry tears and the sudden unmistakable haze of marijuana smoke. It didn't help that Kissidy had insisted she wear some gold, strappy, "totes gorge" stilettos either. There were a few people in the hallway, laughing, dancing, and drinking as if she didn't just have her heart obliterated by the world's cutest blonde. Ally wiped quickly at the tears streaming down her face. Her shoes rapidly thumped out a beat against the hardwood floor, like the beginnings of a sad song. She grew nauseous as lyrics formed in her head.
A large portion of Ally hoped that he'd come running out, grab her wrist, spin her around, and kiss her completely senseless. It was the same foolish part attempting to duct tape her soul back together, even as it kept tearing into impossibly smaller pieces.
She nearly twisted her ankle on the last stair as she rushed right into the party's throbbing pulse. EDM bumped relentlessly against her eardrums, like thunder in the clouds of weed smoke. But even then, poetry, born of her own imagination and filling her head, drowned out the song, the rowdy teenagers, and the flashy strobe lights.
Golden sand….the salty sting….sapphires…
Little lyrical blurbs sprouted into her brain like new buds in the spring. Ally's inner songwriter, even in the midst of her emotional tornado of an exit, briefly surveyed the collection of red solo cups littering a nearby tabletop. She could feel the little eyeliner pencil that Kissidy insisted she keep in her bra for "smudge-mergencies". She had scribbled random phrases on much weirder surfaces before. A plastic cup, smelling faintly of vodka and printed with black makeup and unfinished verses, would be just another part of her bedroom clutter.
But at the last second she decided to forego the cup; she knew that, whatever words finally came together in her head, they were there to stay and never be forgotten.
Ally went flying out of the front door, slightly surprised at how well she was faring in her 5 inch heels. They carried her with a grainy click down Trent's driveway as she navigated multiple crookedly parked cars.
…she plummeted…
More words came to mind as she breathed in the humid, September night air. The pain was constant; it hummed steadily in her flesh and, occasionally, stabbed as she remembered the feel of his fingers and the softness of his hair. Then suddenly his scent was in the air and her breathing was too ragged to continue running. She stopped and bent at the waist, gripping her knees and gulping down air that smelled as spicy and wonderful as he did.
…blinded…oh she plummeted…
Ally felt like a fucking idiot. She spends a week with this asshole and suddenly he's Mr. Right. A few clever words and spine tingling smiles and, just like that, her heart is bound and chained for a year. Then, without a second thought, she's abandoning every single part of herself just to hear her name floating from his lips. What a fucking idiot.
She started walking along the side of the street. They had carpooled to the party in Cassidy's BMW but there was no way she was going to wait for them to finish their drunken shenanigans. Luckily Ally had stared out the window for a majority of the ride and pretty much knew how to get back to her neighborhood. She pulled her cell phone out of her bra to check the time. 11:03pm. Her dad would absolutely love that she was arriving home early. Although, when she left for Kira's house a couple of hours before the party, neither she nor Mr. Dawson knew that she'd be dressed like a sophisticated whore. He was in for a shock when she walked through the door.
Blinded…sand as golden as can be…
She let the lyrics flesh out a little more in her brain. It strengthened her, if only an iota at a time, to grow a beautiful rose from tarnished virtue. It was why Ally was so drawn to songwriting, she found power and liberation in turning her shitty situations into rhythmic poetry.
"Get it together Ally." She whispered, flicking a stray tear. She contemplated going to Trish or Dez's house, but then quickly realized those bridges were probably burned. Dez was easily wounded and Trish was the opposite of forgiving. But Ally would give her left ass cheek to be surrounded by people who loved the real her again.
Tomorrow she'd rebuild. She looked up at the stars and made a promise to the constellations. On Saturday she was going to beg her best friends for forgiveness. And if they didn't-
She sighed and ran a nervous hand through her hair.
And if they didn't, then she would just have to accept it…
No fuck that, she'd just bribe and plead relentlessly until they forgave her because she needed them. She didn't need Austin's smile or Austin's gaze or that stupid way he used to say her name. She NEEDED Patricia Maria De la Rosa and Dezmond Hatfield Wade forever and ever, nothing else.
Tomorrow she would also figure out how to live without Austin Moon. It wouldn't be easy, Ally knew that much. She'd been fangirling over him for a year. But she had the will, so there was definitely a way. She would restore her soul with brick and mortar. She would sew the tattered rags of her heart back together then encase that bloody patchwork in reinforced steel. And then, when she was barricaded against every emotional weapon imaginable, Ally would fill the void that Austin left with tragic songs and several hundred feet of cement.
But that was tomorrow.
Tonight she would put on her oversized Miami Heat sweatshirt and her old grey sweatpants. Tonight she was going to throw her hair into the sloppiest topknot possible and engorge herself with fruity mint swirl ice cream. And as her insides froze over, she would scribble lyrics and create melodies until her fake nails popped off and her fingertips bled. Tonight was the night to let empty ice cream cartons and bloody music sheets soothe her deepest wounds. Then, once her belly was full and her inner songstress purged, she would tape a picture of Austin to her dad's dart board. She sniffled, but nearly laughed, as she imagined darts piercing his fucking face over and over. Under the harsh streetlamps, with a black tar road beneath her heels, Ally managed the tiniest of smiles, one corner of her lips quirking just slightly upwards. It was with that image on her mind that the first few lines of her newest song finally came together.
Blinded by his sapphire waters,
sand golden as can be.
Then the harsh and salty sting
of tears or of the sea.
She plummets, oh she plummets
so sad and beautifully…
Ally stopped to pull off her golden stilts and toss them on the nearest lawn.