It was Friday morning before I even had time to blink. One part of me was jubilant. The other was reluctant. Because I still hadn't been able to figure out whether it was a good thing to be spending time alone with Jake.

In the morning Charlie was unusually chatty. He had taken the week-end off from work. I guessed this had to be a first.
"Morning kid!" he greeted me as I came down the stairs. He had put out a bowl, Cheerios and a can of milk for me. How weird.

"Morning dad! Thanks for the breakfast!" I said while I sat down to eat a little.

"Not a thing. You sure this is all right with you?" he asked, not looking at me.

"Hmm?" I asked, not sure which part of "this" he was talking about.

"I mean, me leaving. And Jake coming over." He said. He was cleaning his own breakfast plate and did it very thoroughly.

"Sure sure!" I answered automatically. I had picked that up from Jake and it didn't seem like I was gonna get rid of it anytime soon.

"Just..." he mumbled. He glimpsed at me and I saw that he had flushed a delicate pink. Oh my, what was going to come now? "Just, please Bella. Don't let him talk you into something. Okay? I know you like him as a friend. But I think it's more with him..."

I stared at Charlie. Where did that come from? It didn't sound very Charlie-like. "Dad!" I finally managed to say.

"Only do what you also want to do. Okay?" he asked, talking to the plate he was still scrubbing.

It's not like this train of thought hadn't occurred to me, in fact it had kept me awake for the last couple of nights, but coming from Charlie, it sounded ... it sounded normal. Like an everyday teenage relationship. Downright normal. It stuck me that it really was entirely possible for Jake and me to get involved that way. There was no need to be physically apart because Jacob didn't need to fight the urge to kill me when kissing me, because it wasn't there in the first place. Of course I had known this, but I hadn't seen it this clearly. Normal...

"Dad, it's not like that." I flushed also as I spoke. "Jacob knows how I feel about him. He accepts that."

I saw Charlie shrug. "He's still only a man, Bella."

Yes. A little werewolf too, but mainly man. Human. "Okay, dad. I gotta go!" I hurriedly said. "Have fun with Billy and Harry tonight!" I pecked him on the cheek and ran for the door.

What a weird way to start a day. It didn't really get better because Mike was his usual self during English and biology.
I managed to catch up with Angela before Mike caught up with me, and we were talking about our plans tonight.

"So Ben and I are going to see a movie. Some action movie. I keep on forgetting the title. He swears that I'm gonna love it." She grinned. "Well, as long as he's there I guess it'll be all right."

Angela was still happy with Ben. I was glad for that, because she really did deserve it. "So what are your plans?" she asked me.

I flushed a bright red. No idea why that was, maybe because of the talk I had with Charlie in the morning. "Pyjama party." I mumbled.

She eyed me, grinning a little. "Special party, ey? Who's coming?" she winked at me.

"Jacob Black." I still mumbled.

"But you keep telling me he's just a friend." She stated.

I only nodded.

That was when realization hit her. "Oh, you think this might change tonight?"

I nodded again.

"I hope this works out for you! It's time you move on!" she said, just before Mike attacked us from behind.

"MIKE!" we exclaimed both. He chuckled and asked what we had been talking about.

I shot Angela a look, she smiled slightly at me. "I just told Bella that Ben and I were going to go to the movies tonight."

"Cool thing. And what are you up to?" he asked me.

"I'll stay at home tonight." I answered.

Jessica saved me from the necessity to go into more details as she started dragging Mike away because she needed to show him something. I was very thankful even though this was probably not the emotion Jessica had intended to provoke in me.

I had the feeling that someone had sped up time. Faster than I thought possible I found myself at home, preparing dinner. Not for Charlie and me but for Jake and me. I was halfway through when I heard a knock on the door. My heart sped up for no good reason and I told myself to calm down. It didn't work. When I opened the door, Jake stood there. He wore a pair of Jeans, a little torn, a black shirt, his hair was shaggy, not long as it had been before, but longer than when he found out he was a werewolf. I took in his beautiful skin, his smell and then I looked up at his face to see my smile there. He carried a little bag.

"Comon in!" I finally said.

"Here, I brought some DVDs for us to watch."

After dinner (Jacob's comment: "I really could get used to this!" while patting his fully stomach) we sat on our sofa, watching a DVD. I couldn't tell what it was because I was very much preoccupied with Jacob's arm around my shoulder. I thought about what Charlie had said this morning, about Jake being the one who'd talk me into doing stuff I didn't want. It didn't occur to him that I might be the one doing things he didn't want me to be up to. Maybe he thought there was too much of the zombie left in me to think about things like this.

But ever since some of the hurt had been replaced by anger, not enough to hate him, but still anger for him because he left me, the hole had ever so slightly ceased to rip at my chest so hard. It wasn't anywhere near to going away and I wondered if I'd ever be really free from it. But it certainly was a start. Or so I told myself.

Right now, right here, next to Jake I felt whole. I could breathe without difficulty.

But there was one thing that bothered me: Jacob was his usual self. He didn't once put his hand anywhere on my body where he wouldn't put it on another occasion. He didn't react when I snuggled closer to him.

Finally, frustrated and feeling sheepish about myself I told him I had to go to the bathroom. He just nodded and told me to not get lost on the way.

I closed the door behind me and stood in front of the mirror for what seemed ages. I looked tired. I didn't feel tired though, just jazzed. Was I the only one thinking that this night was something special? Did he think nothing of it?

I stripped off my clothes and got under the shower. I let the warm water relax my muscles for a while and used my rose-shower-gel and shampoo. When I got out I brushed my teeth and blow-dried my hair. I put on a pair of pyjamas that were relatively new and plain. Still... they were black and the top was only a tank top. Back in Phoenix I didn't think much of wearing tank tops, here in Forks where the whether was always cold it was slightly more exposing.

I made sure I looked presentable and went back down. Only Jake wasn't there anymore. I called for him and when I got panicky I heard him laugh. The sound came from my room. My heart sped up a hundred miles.

He had his back to the door and went through the books on my shelf. "Hey!" I said.

He didn't jump like I would have. He had probably heard me anyway with his new, sensitive hearing. "Found anything you like?" I asked him, teasing.

He turned around to look at me. "Yes." He simply said. It reminded me of Tuesday, when he had been thinking. My stomach suddenly vanished. Instead there were thousands of butterflies, turning my insides up and down. My heart sped up and judging by the heat in my face I probably flushed a bright scarlet. I still didn't know why I responded to him like this lately. It felt so out of place and I didn't know what to do.

"So? Have you made up your mind?" he asked me out of the blue.

"About what?" I managed to ask back, though I could guess the answer.

"About what I said last Tuesday. About letting go." He watched me carefully.

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!! I wanted to scream and run. I did move. Closed the distance between us. I looked up at him and put my arms around his neck. I wasn't expecting his reaction. He pulled me closer, one arm around my waist and with the other he held my face. His thumb traced a circle on my cheek and his other fingers waved themselves through my hair. He brought his lips to other ear and kissed me there. I shivered. I felt him smile against the side of my face and tried to turn around, but he didn't let me.

I was completely lost in him, his mouth traveled my jaw line to my mouth and then his lips crushed on mine. It felt – literaly – like nothing I have ever felt before. He was so warm, he was nowhere close to gentle, not that I objected that and the way his lips moved with mine was so incredible. If only this didn't remind me of the only other type of kisses I had ever gotten from someone outside the family. SO instead of thinking of that I pulled him closer to me. I opened my mouth, letting my toungue travel over his lips. He didn't need no further hint. The hand that had been around my waist was all at once under my shirt. I felt his hot hand travel over my backside and I felt the sudden urge to get him out of his shirt. I pulled away from the kiss and started remove his shirt. He willingly obliged. I let my hands wander over his broad chest, so warm and stopped over his heart. I felt it rappidly beating and I found myself liking that very much. It was nothing like it hat been with him.

Once more i put my hand behind his neck and tried to pull him towards me. He wouldn't let me. Instead he sighed and went to sit on the edge of my bed. Let him have his way I thought and went to sit beside him.

"Bella." He said, it was not more than a whisper. There was something about the tone that I didn't like. "You are not over it."

It felt like he had slapped me. Because he was right and he knew it.

"Jake, I want this. I want you." I murmured, eyes on the floor.

"I believe you, Bella." He said, putting one hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "It's just, I don't think you are ready. I feel it. The way you hesistate at the beginning of a kiss, the way your hand lingers on my heart. You know want you and stopping here is not easy right now."

"Then let's not stop" I begged. I was horrified at what he had said. He picked up so much about me without even knowing. Or no- that was wrong, he knew much more than he said.

"Bella, don't force me to do this. I know it will hurt you." He said, a pleading tone in his voice.

"Do what?"

"I see what it does to you when something reminds you of him. I can watch you hugging your chest, like you're holding yourself together. I can see you flinching when someone says a certain thing. What do you think would happen when I said his name now?" he asked, pity all over his face.

I winced. He heard it and shook his head slowly.

"You know, it's okay." He said, pulling me into a hug, a friendly hug. Too friendly for my liking. I wanted to be distracted. "We've got time."