Summary: It was his own fault the spell backfired, but, really, it seems like God is laughing down at him right now. "Because I'm the hero!" …really…

Warning(s): humor

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: As always, do not own anything from Hetalia.

Musical Tics

How did this happen again?

Oh yes, it was his fault. As a person who did not have to live with a speech impediment, he was starting to get annoyed with the constant verbal diarrhea of speech tics.

In a meeting- where something, anything- was supposed to get done, talks and discussions somehow could not get anywhere before an 'aru' or an 'eh' (though, who's was that one? He kept forgetting somehow) would appear. England liked things with a certain order and cleanliness about, and that included the spoken word.

So, during the lunch break, he figured he could sneak back to weave a bit of magic in the meeting room. Not a lot, just enough that a person could understand another person without have to wade through the speech rubbish that was verbal tics.

Everything was going fine.

He had his chalk (made with purifying agents that helped make the magic stronger!), he drew the right symbols in the center of the room (really, being under the table for that long gave him such a crick in his back, that he hoped the others would appreciate his kind gesture), and he had locked the door before starting so that no one could interrupt him (silly nations, really, letting him be the last one to leave).

But, what he had NOT anticipated was the amount of dust underneath the table.

He was allergic to dust, one of the many reasons why he kept his house so clean and tidy. He, Arthur Kirkland- the personification of the mighty nation of England- had dust allergies…at the most critical part of his chanting.

Arthur's very last thought before everything went blank was, '…knickers…'

~x~

"Hey, hey, do you think he's awake, aru?" "Maple, do you guys really have to crowd about him so much, eh?" "Hey, who's crowding who, China- Honhonhon?"

The voices, loud and obnoxious, broached his waning mind moments before his vision started clearing. Blinking away the blurriness, England stared upwards to find everyone surrounding him in his field of vision.

Slowly sitting upwards, England rubbed his eyes before mumbling, "Wh' h'pp'ned?"

A few of the other nations frowned before China spoke up, "Maple, so you don't remember, eh? Whatever you tried to do backfired terribly on you, eh. It takes a few minutes for it to appear…eh."

England frowned in thought before clearing his throat, "So…I guess I wasn't the hero after all then, huh?"

Eyes widened….WAIT! BACKTRACK!

I'm….hero….oh hell no!

A couple of the other nations affected, and less polite, stifled a snicker. Well, at least the mystery of what speech problem England got was solved.

America grinned, slyly letting a hand slip to England's waist. "Honhonhon, so what were you trying to succeed in accomplishing?" The hand didn't get very far before it was slapped away.

England frowned- it was not a pout, damn it!- before responding, "I was getting tired of how, every time we met for meetings, almost nothing was ever achieved because of the verbal tics at the end of every sentence," England sighed, "so, I decided to be a hero and cast a spell to erase them in the meeting room….I did not intend for it to backfire…how unheroic."

There was a silence before Russia piped up, "Perhaps, like, there is totally, like, a way to fix, like, this mess…like?"

Everyone stared at Russia for a moment before giving off a simultaneous, full body shiver and went back to trying to ignore him for the rest of the conversation.

England, thoughts churning about robots and hero man, started to grin, "Dude, if there is totally a solution to this mess, then I'm the man for the job, cuz I'm the hero!"

Everyone choked on air at the obvious 'z'…they never thought there'd be a time when England would use that lonely letter instead of that promiscuous 's'.

Germany, as ever the sole voice of reason, sighed before gathering his own items. "Awesome, I suggest, since the awesomeness that is I is awesome, then that we adjourn for the day since it seems like there is so much unawesomeness in this room. Let's hope this unawesomeness does not follow us and contaminate the awesomeness outside."

Everyone, muttering in agreement, began to gather up their belongings, and started to leave, wanting to get as far away from the room as possible.

England stood up but, before he began gathering his items, he noticed a person in the corner.

Hey, he knew that person!

Moving to greet the wallflower, he grinned.

"Hey, Ma-oomph!"

His progress was cut short as America tackled him to the floor and sat on poor England to keep him from moving away from his roving hands.

Preoccupied with hands and fingers and America, England couldn't remember who he thought he saw.

And, while trying to squirm away from the stronger nation, all England could think was that it was his own fault the spell backfired, but, really, it seems like God is laughing down at him right now. "Because I'm the hero!"

…really…

~Fin

Omake

The person in the corner sighed, clutching his knees to his chest, "Do you think anyone will ever notice me?"

The small polar bear looked up at him from washing his paw, "Who are you?"

The person sighed miserably, "I'm Canada…Da…"

~Fin

Author's Note: And, so the first, and only time, someone other then America recognizes him, and it's only for half a second…sorry Canaidia! T^T Also, scary Russia-Canada is scary. o.o Anyways, if you really wanted to know:

England= America

Italy= China

America= France

China= Canada

Russia= Poland

Germany= Prussia (though, how he snuck in, no one will ever know. n.n)

Canada= Russia