…I can't believe I forgot the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable. The end.
Seems so Slow
Chapter 2
Approximately five seconds later, Wally concluded that he had no idea where he was. He had ran out of the god forsaken forest, lapped a village, then a desert, then had doubled back into the village in case he ended up running out of energy in the middle of an ocean or something.
Speaking of energy, he was starving, and for the hundredth time, the scarlet speedster cursed his fast metabolism. He had to eat something fast, otherwise he would risk fainting, and that was kinda bad for his reputation.
His stomach growled in agreement.
Wally was pretty sure he hadn't eaten for… he had no idea. He didn't know how long he had been lying unconscious, on the forest floor for, and that could range anywhere from hours to years. Wally was also pretty sure someone would have noticed a kid in a bright red outfit with a lightning bolt emblazoned on his chest, lying in the middle of a forest, so that cancelled out the "years" idea. He settled for about a day. Yeah, he didn't eat for about a day. That seemed right.
His stomach gurgled uncomfortably again, and the speedster was reminded forcibly of the matter at hand. Me Flash. Me eat food now or me die.
He thought he remembered passing what looked like Mt Rushmore in this place somewhere- although he thought Lincoln looked slightly more odd then usual- good, which meant he was somewhere in South Dakota. Wally couldn't think of a single place in America which didn't have a McDonalds, and he felt like he could eat about forty or so Big Macs. Maybe even sixty if he was feeling up to it.
He was beginning to regret travelling at such high speeds just moments later. His legs were beginning to feel wobbly- never a good sign. His vision was beginning to blur- also not a good sign.
…Come on! Where was Mcdonalds when you needed one?
Wally had slowed down to a normal stroll now, making his way through the village at what he felt was a disgustingly slow pace. What was he, a slug? Dammit, he needed food.
He closed his eyes and sniffed at the air. A tantalising smell was filling the air now, and Wally hoped it wasn't a delusion made by his food deprived mind. Well, it couldn't be, since he was seeing the very source of the smell- a ramen stand with a man busily making broth behind it. Wait, that had better not be a delusion either.
Wally sat down next to a man with incredibly stupid looking silver hair, and glanced at the menu. Saliva was beginning to gather inside his mouth, and if he wasn't careful, he would start drooling.
"Dude, gimme thirty of the… big ones!" He said, gesticulating at the picture. "Please," he added as an afterthought.
"Hoh! If you can finish thirty of them- you can get them for free!" The old man winked at him, and Wally felt as if his day was finally beginning to improve. Which was saying something, seeing as Wally had just got sucked into an alternate dimension, de-aged, got attacked by crazed supervillains, and was starving to death on his feet.
"Heh, I'm not called the Fastest Man Alive for nothing!" The speedster smirked at the man, who turned to tend at the broth.
"Naruto," the silver-haired man next to Wally said exasperatedly. "Aren't you meant to be at the Chuunin Exams?"
"Uh, what?" Wally said blankly. A steaming bowl of ramen was promptly set in front of him, and he slurped down half in one go. "Hush Nawudo?"
"Never mind," said Silver-hair quickly, before he could get sprayed with more bits of flying noodle. "You just remind me of someone I know."
"Er, okay then?" Wally gave a massive swallow. Must be a pretty cool guy then. Maybe he would even give the guy an autograph.
"So, who are you?" Silver-hair said conversationally. "I haven't seen you around before."
"Yeah, well," Wally shrugged. "I just felt like dropping in." From another dimension. Coz you know, that's what superhero's do.
Silver-hair nodded, picking at his chin idly and lifting his cup of tea to his mouth. "Oh, really…Anything bring you to Konoha specifically?"
"Er…" Wally could've sworn the guy had just said Konoha instead of South Dakota. Wait, that couldn't be a coincidence, they sounded nothing alike! "There's the sights," the speedster began hopefully, gesticulating with his chopsticks at a couple of dismal trees twitching in the distance. "And there's the ladies." He pointed vaguely at the closest female- who happened to be the most butch woman Wally had ever seen. She growled menacingly at him, and the speedster instinctively shuddered. "…Yeah," he finished lamely.
Silver-hair gave him a long look. Wally shifted uncomfortably in his seat- the guy had nothing on Bat glares, but he was getting there. "I see," Silver-hair said finally. He stood up, left a few coins on the table and placed his now empty cup down. Then he pulled an obnoxiously grey mask over his nose- Wally internally scoffed, what's the point, he'd already seen the guy's face!- and walked away.
The speedster breathed a sigh of relief. Silver-hair was starting to creep Wally out.
So, first things first. Wally slurped up the dregs of his twelfth bowl. He had to gather information on what dimension it was in. Wally never was the information-gathering kind of guy, he was more the hit-and-run type. He left that kind of job for Bats, since, let's face it, Bats, to say the least, knew everything.
"Hey man," the speedster spoke around his mouthful. The ramen man plonked several more bowls in front of him and looked at him expectantly. "We're in Konoha, right?"
The ramen guy gave him a pointed look. "Where else would we be in, boy?"
Damn. "Okay, thanks." So Wally was in this Konoha place. Which would be just fine and dandy- if he knew where it was. For all he knew, Konoha could be a top secret, hidden village for crazy ninjas who had nothing better to do then kill each other and train kids to become more crazy ninjas so they could kill more of each other. Wally snorted to himself. Yeah, right. Not even his luck could be that bad.
Now all he had to do was somehow contact and give this information to the Justice League. Which goes without saying, easier said than done.
Wally never paid attention to all the cross-dimensional technicalities whenever Bats or J'onn explained it. He got the point that he was in another dimension. That was all he needed to know. They'd always managed to get their way back to their own dimension before. Figuring out how to do it was boring stuff. He left that kind of boring stuff to the Bat. Note to self: Grow an attention span.
Of course, that was another thing that was easier said than done. Wally had gotten his speed along with his ADHD. Okay, that wasn't really true, since Wally had ADHD before that, but super speed made it permanent.
Anyways. The speedster was going to need money and a change of clothes. Possibly a new costume. Wally was still wearing his oversized Flash outfit, and was currently covered with dirt, mud, dirt, bits of noodle (no one ever called him a clean eater), dirt, sand, but mainly dirt. He was getting odd looks from passer-bys, but Wally didn't blame them, after all, he looked like an idiot wearing loose, red onesies.
So yeah. Money. Clothes. A place to stay would be good too.
Wally had slowed down his eating to human speed, just verging bestial speed to avoid suspicion. Not that he wasn't already attracting suspicious looks as that wasn't the point. Ahem.
So. He needed a job. Hopefully a part time one so he can continue superhero-ing around since the Flash was cool like that. Unless…
"Dude," Wally said to the ramen vendor. "Do you happen to have superheros around here?"
The man was looking dismally at where Wally had placed his twenty-third bowl. It was roughly a quarter from being finished, and the speedster wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. Wally suspected the man was beginning to regret offering the thirty-for-free deal, and felt a tinge of guilt at that. "Superheros? Boy, I don't know what that is, but Konoha has the best ANBU corps around."
"ANBU corps? What's that?" Hey! That could be something like the Justice League! Maybe ANBU stood for Awesome Nuclear Buddies United or along those lines. That actually wasn't a bad name. Wally was sure he was onto something.
"It stands for Special Assassination and Tactical Squad."
"Do you think I could jo- What?" Wally froze. The Flash wasn't known for his super hearing, but he was fairly sure he heard correctly. Assassination. Emphasis on the double ass. Maybe the superheros in this world were more like the Justice Lords than the Justice League. Then Wally would be screwed, well, more screwed than he already was. Unless, of course, another option was that his brain was malfunctioning again, sticking in words such as assassination into his head for laughs. Neither choice was favorable.
Wally laughed nervously. "Aw, hey, did you say assassination?"
The ramen guy nodded and beckoned conspiratorially at Wally. Despite himself, Wally found himself leaning forward to hear what the guy had to say. "Boy, they may sound like a nasty bunch, but they've helped Konoha a lot in the past wars."
"Wars?" Yeah, he was screwed.
"Some say that the ANBU even helped monitor the Genin and Jonin Exams. They might be monitoring the Chuunin Exams right now."
What the heck was a Chuunin? The speedster had heard it twice now, once from ol' Silver-hair and again from the ramen vendor. To be honest, it sounded like a disease. The other ones…Genin and Jonin, right? They sounded like the progression of said disease.
And that thing with the exam. Wally couldn't even remember the last exam that he did, which basically meant it was so traumatic that it had escaped his memory. He recalled something vague involving lots and lots of pink and a very angry Batman. He shuddered. Yeah, definitely traumatic.
So, this so-called Chuunin Exam was quite important here, seeing as they have an assassination squad monitoring it.
Wally coughed and tried to appear knowledgeable. "Uh…the Chuunin Exams. What does that…entail?"
The man shrugged. "Beats me. Boy, do I look like I know everything?"
Wally took that as a rhetorical question and wisely kept his mouth shut.
The vendor plonked down the last bowl of ramen. The ramen smelled good. Wally ate the ramen.
After belching spectacularly and wiping his mouth, Wally shot a guilty grin at the man. After all, he had practically ripped off the guy thirty bowls of ramen. What was that, like two hundred bucks? The speedster winced. "Hey….sorry about the.." He gestured at the piling bowls.
"Hmph," the man snorted. "That's nothing compared to what I've seen some of my regulars eat."
Wally raised an eyebrow under his mask. Really?
"I made the deal, boy, and I won't go back on it. You're a fast eater, kid." The vendor began to wipe up some of the broth Wally had managed to slop at the counter.
The niggling sense of guilt returned full force, before rising exponentially. Great, now he felt like the biggest jerk in the world. Wally scratched the back of his head. "Look man, I'll pay you back but I don't have any cash on me right now-"
"Then why did you order thirty to begin with?"
Wally pretended he didn't hear that comment. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. If you ever need a helper…"
The man gave Wally a searching look. "You seem like a good kid. My daughter-"-Wally perked up at that- "-is on leave right now, and she usually helps me around."
Wally grinned. "Hey. That's perfect!"
"-But serving customers is a difficult job," The man continued sternly. "Not anyone can do it, boy. I don't need any slackers around here."
"I'm a fast worker," Wally persisted.
The man gave one last look at Wally's earnest face and sighed. "Alright, boy.
You can start tomorrow- only-" He glared at the speedster. "-if you change out of those ridiculous clothes. You'll be an embarrassment to my shop, boy."
Ridiculous? This was the Flash's outfit! It was the epitome of greatness, and above all, speed! "Alright," said Wally, internally sulking.
"And get yourself cleaned up. You look like you just woke up in a forest."
Hardy har har. "Sure thing, man."
"And one more thing. What's your name, boy?"
"Uh," Wally said. Standard introduction it is. "I'm the Flash. Fastest Man Alive." He couldn't help the tiny, smug grin that wormed its way through onto his face.
"I asked for your name, boy, not some silly nickname you gave yourself."
"…Wally. Wally West." The speedster considered his secret identity for a moment. There were no superheros in this world, which probably mean there was no alternate Flash. Which meant, no Wally West. Which meant, no secret identity to begin with since he hasn't established himself as a superhero.
"Well, boy-" Wally wondered briefly why the guy had even bothered to ask for his name when he was still going to call him boy- "My name is Teuchi."
"It's nice to meet you, Teuchi." Wally grinned at him, unsure. "And sorry about the ramen thing and all."
Teuchi considered the speedster for a while. "Boy…you remind me of someone."
"Really? Who?" Wally immediately thought of a good looking, charming guy with Supes' physique. Of course, beautiful females of every species were draped all over him, cooing at his muscles and incredible intellect. That went without saying.
"One of my regular customers. Uzumaki Naruto."
"O…kay." That was the second time that Wally had been compared to this Naruto character. Hopefully he wasn't some kind of idiot.
"He's one of the biggest knuckle-heads around-" Here, Wally's imaginings disappeared with a nasty pop-"-but he's a good boy."
Wally didn't know whether to be insulted or pleased- he was feeling a weird combination of both. Maybe he should just stop thinking. It was easier that way.
Well, I'm not normally the type of person who would beg for reviews, and I'm still not. The thing is, my story stats have been screwing up (Is this happening to anyone else, or am I the only lucky one?), displaying that I have 7 hits on my story for the past zillion days. I'm seriously hoping more than, well, 7 people have been reading this story.
So, please leave a review. No, it doesn't have to have some profound meaning, just a sign that you have read up to here. Food for the author and all that jazz.
Real action starts in the next chapter.