CHAPTER 1

- in which we get to know that hopeless perhaps is not as hopeless as it may seem for the first sight -

I was not far from banging my head on the wooden desk. The only thing that restrained me was Lily Evans. Yes, you might not know her, but I –for my great unluck- do.

Lily is literally brilliant in everything she does, moreover she has Potter swooning over her brilliant hair and all.

Not that I like Potter or nor do I think he is that fanciable, but still, hes is friends with Remus Lupin. Which is of course a great plus point – for me.

Well, as I said Lily's pretty eyebrow was arched blamingly at me, and looking at her actually meant that I was not looking at Lupin. Which happens quite a lot of time. I mean, not daring to look at him. Happens pretty often as I said… unfortunately.

'Gosh, he has such gorgeous eyes…' that is the only thing I can think about when our eyes accidentally lock and my face almost instantly lights up. So I try to avoid it. Not because of his gorgeous eyes of course, but rather because I don't want to look like somebody idiotic.

Honestly, I am really not that kind of girl, who blushes every now and then, but he has this affect on me and I truly hate it. Makes me look like a moron. I might be a moron but I would love if he thought differently!

Binns still talked about the goblin wars, so I just stared at the unfolded piece of parchment that previously had landed on my desk with a silent thud.

I can not understand why Marietta keeps writing with that light blue ink of hers, she totally digs it and I always have a hard time trying to make out what she scribbled.

This time it was not the shade of her ink or some other silly reason that drove me crazy but the content of her message – which was indeed something big, dark and serious:

'Yes, you really did say that. I'm not lying.'

I frowned and read on.

'When you saw him you were like 'Ooooh, I know you! You're the guy, who won that Potions competition!' And your eyes got really hugl…admiring and cute.'

I clenched my fist.

Oh. My. God. I hate myself so much at times!

I went totally against my principles with Lupin!

First of all, I never stare at guys. Never ever.

Second, I do not look at guys admiringly or cutely.

Third, I never talk to them as if I was somebody brainless.

Fourth, I totally dislike saying 'ooooh.' That reminds me of my aunt Bethany, who keeps repeating that all the time.

God, I must have inherited the wrong genes…

I jot down a quick 'no way' and I turned back to throw my message back to Marietta, but she apparently was not paying attention – she was swooning over Black, who was sitting in front of her.

Oh yes. Black and Lupin sat in front of Marietta, so when I had to turn, that made the situation even jollier.

Marietta was still not paying attention –is she blind or something?- but my eyes met the eyes I wanted to avoid the most. I quickly aimed the piece of parchment in the direction of my friend and in the meantime I felt my cheeks reddening. I do not know what I like in Lupin. Okay, I know exactly why I like him.

First I tried to convince myself that I liked him only because he was a nice guy overall.

Then I realised I was drawing to Lupin. Not only because he was such a nice guy.

That realisation hit me first when Marietta had an exam and I accompanied her.

So, you see, Lupin was taking that exam, too.

And he was wearing his exam robes. You wondering why is it important that he was wearing exam robes? Well, then I have to tell you that he looks absolutely bloody dashing in those kind of robes. So I went all mute and dazzled and kept smiling- idiotically, of course.

He looked quite nervous, I must add.

I - on the other hand - was wearing a pretty skirt – which is very unusual for me- and was dead calm as I had come to support Marietta only. Accompanying people that take an exam when I do not have to take it –already passed!- is absolutely my kind of thing. I act very reassuringly and all.

So Lupin stood there with the heavy Defence Against the Dark Arts book in his hands being the dead sexy creature that he is and when Marietta entered the classroom (it was an oral exam), we somehow got engaged in a conversation.

The next minute I found myself smiling up at him in a flirty way and saying 'Ooooh, don't worry, you're so clever, it will be a piece of cake for you.'

Needless to say, he smiled down at me and I felt warmth spreading through all my body.

It was one of those moments.

That you would never forget, even a thousand years would pass.

That moment, forgetting my jealousy, I fell in love with Remus Lupin. Fatally and hopelessly.

He was so cute as the light fell on his blonde hair and I just hoped I looked alright, too.

I got out of the trance that was caused by remembering when Marietta's next message landded on my head. Seriously, she needs to practice aiming.

Followed by a reprehending glare from Lily, I unfolded it and read the sentence I was least pleased to read:

'Don't be silly, Lupin likes you. He was still supportive when you declared you were nauseaous, so what's your problem? He stood next to you all along and kept repeating that you'd pass for sure.'

I rubbed my face hopelessly. I honestly do not have any idea how can I say out such embarassing things loudly in front of him.

I honestly hate that I'm so clumsy.

I lost all enthusiasm towards History of Magic, Lupin and Lily, who keeps looking at me as if I stole a candy from a kid or something and put my head casually on the desk and waited passively for the class to end.

There is only one reason that makes me like History of Magic. It's not Binns' monotonous voice or the goblin wars or such, but because I can practically lie on the desk without anybody making a fuss about it. Binns does not care and Lily does not count. I do not even know why I sit next to her. She is an annoying person most of the time.

Of course liying on the desk means I can fall asleep even physically besides mentally, but again, there is Lily to wake me up when I get to the verge of falling asleep.

I do not know if I mentioned that before, but Binns is not to be equaled in the area of being boring. His subject itself would be quite interesting, but not when he is the one, who talks about it. I closed my eyes.

Lily instantly nudged me with her quill. I guess she had just sharpened it before the lesson…

Rubbing my arm groggily, I was shot by another well- aimed piece of parchment by Marietta. I was about to get fussy over it, but a huge grin spread on my face as I read it and heard the bell that signed the end of class.

As an aside, I have to share with you what Marietta wrote:

'Lupin was staring at your back all the time!!!'

I truly love History of Magic, have I told you that yet?

AN: This is my 2nd story, I hope you all like it. Do review, please.

xxx,

SP.