There were some typos in the last chapter. I have no idea how edit them once they've been published. Hahaha. Here's the next chapter. I'm hoping this is better than the last. Please please please review. Thank you!
Addison had always thought she would die in the arms of someone she loved, in a bed, old and gray, with Derek by her side. She never imagined having to go through some sort of disease, let alone, by herself. It was almost as if everything she believed to be true, everything she ever hoped for as a naïve girl was crashing down, backfiring, leaving her to concede that although she has had her share of happiness, she was destined to live a life unsatisfied.
To her, satisfaction and contentment was synonymous to a certain dreamy man now pining for an intern almost 15 years her junior. Happiness was brought about having the love of her life, at the very least, noticing her, caring for her, showing any amount of concern for her well being. But alas, with the divorce finalized, she knew she could kiss true happiness goodbye. Because no matter how many times she's told herself not to, Derek would always define who she was.
The shrill sound of her mobile phone ringing startled Addison from her thoughts. She took a second to recover before reaching out for her Blackberry and pressing it to her ear.
"This is Addison Shep- Montgomery" she amended, still having difficulty using just her maiden name.
"Addie? It's Nancy.", the voice on the other line said, seemingly unsure about something. "I wasn't sure you'd pick up. We've all been trying to reach you.". She wasn't accusing her of anything. She was just worried, as all of the Shepherds were of her.
"Hi Nancy. I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls. I was… busy", she said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "To what do I owe the pleasure this time?"
"I was actually calling to check in on you. Derek hasn't been answering either, no doubt screwing that slutty intern. And you don't get to give me the 'I'm fine' crap. You're not fine, I can sense it. And I know how you get when your emotions run wild.". Nancy always had her way of demanding things, and yet sounding so gentle, so caring.
"I'm fine, Nancy. Really I am." She tried to sound convincing, but she knew the effort was futile. "With everything going on right now, I'm surprised I haven't broken down yet. It's just.. it's for the best."
"And there's a but, right? There's something you're not telling me. Just spit it out Addie. What did my pathetic brother do this time?"
"What makes you think Derek has anything to do with this? He didn't do anything. We're divorced. He's happy and understandably moving on. I get that. I'm happy for him, actually."
"Then what is it, Adds?" Nancy's voice softened at the unmistakable emptiness she heard in Addison's voice. She'd always known Addie to be unbelievably strong. But right now, with the affair and the subsequent divorce, she highly doubted Addison's ability to stand up after Derek nearly destroyed her. "You can tell me anything, you know that."
Addison sighed audibly. She hadn't told anyone about her most recent discovery, well, no aside from Richard whom she called almost immediately after. She wasn't sure if she was ready to divulge something as big as that. She didn't know how she would take the pity she was sure they were going to feel, didn't know if anyone could respect her decisions regarding it either. However, deciding that she would have to tell someone sooner or later, she took a deep breath and started talking.
"Nancy, if I tell you, you have to swear to me not to tell anyone. You can't tell mom. You can't tell Kathleen. You can't tell Savvy. And you most certainly can't tell Derek. Do you promise?"
"I…what is this about, Addison?" Nancy felt the panic begin to rise. Addison was scaring her. She knew something was very wrong.
"You have to promise me first… and you have to respect that." Addie didn't mean to sound forceful, but that's how it came out and she was praying that by some twister of fate, Nancy would stop being stubborn for once and just promise and mean it.
With a sigh, Nancy relented. She knew there was no convincing Addison otherwise. "Okay. I won't tell anyone I swear. But god, I reserve the right to tell at least Savvy if things go out of control." Compromise was good.
Addison decided she could tell Savvy, but was hoping she could do it herself before Nancy did. She wasn't planning on hiding it from Savvy any way.
"Alright. Don't freak out." She paused, as if contemplating how to say it. "You may want to sit down first, though."
Nancy moved to sit down on the couch, all the while fumbling with the hem of her shirt, a habit she did whenever she was nervous. "I'm sitting. Now will you tell me what's going on? My heart feels like it's gonna pop out of my rib cage soon."
Addison closed her eyes and started.
"I've been feeling really dizzy the past couple of days and my back's been bothering me. At first I thought it was because of the numerous nights I've been spending on on call rooms and all that jazz, but the Chief insisted I go for a check-up. So I went downtown for a quick one, and one test led to a result, then to another test, then to another result and another and another and another until they found out what was wrong with me." She paused as Nancy took a deep breath, no doubt trying to calm herself. "Nancy, there's no easy way to say this but…. I.. I'm sick." Addison finished, waiting for Nancy's reaction.
"Sick? What do you mean.. sick?" She finished stuttering a bit, closing her eyes as a feeling of dread washed over her.
"I have cancer, Nance. Second stage ovarian cancer."
Addison had to pull the phone away from her a bit, hearing Nancy ramble on, panicked.
"Cancer? What do you mean you have cancer? You're sick and you don't me to tell anybody? You actually expect me to sit around and be quiet, watch you die? Addison! What has gotten into you? I won't, I repeat, I won't do that!" Nancy nearly screamed, exasperated and just ready to shake some sense into her sister-in-law.
Addison closed her eyes. She didn't expect Nancy to react this way. She had expected her to take things calmly, to think logically, to be the optimistic one.
"Look, you promised me you wouldn't say anything after you bugged me into telling you. I'll call Savvy in a while, after I've sorted things out. But you have to trust me Nancy. I think I know what I'm doing.".
"I know it's just… so much to take in." The logical side of her was starting to return. "What are your treatment options?"
"Nance, that's kind of the thing here. I…" She sighed again, as she continued. "I'm planning to go back to New York in about two weeks."
"You'll get treatment here? That's a good idea, Addie. That way you'll actually be in a city you love, with people you love and love you back. Plus there are better doctors out here, right? We're all here for you."
"Nancy... I don't exactly plan on getting treatment."
"What do you mean, Addie?"
"I'm planning on moving back to New York and just... enjoy the last of my days there."
Now what do you think? I'm getting really anxious about this. I'm so nervous about this feeble attempt at writing I think I may go crazy. Haha.