Wonderland.
Helen and Jefferson made their way through the Tulgey Wood, when suddenly they heard an eerie singing.
A grin appeared in midair in a tree, and the Cheshire Cat materialized.
"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe."
"Cheshire Cat's the name." he said, tipping the top of his head.
"We need information on the whereabouts of the Queen of Hearts." Helen said, matter-of-factly.
"All ways are the Queen's ways," Cheshire said, "She's mad, you know. Everyone here is mad."
"That's why I hate Wonderland," Jefferson whispered to Helen.
"What do you call yourself?" Cheshire asked.
"My name is Helen Burton," Helen said, "but you can refer to meet as Mrs. X. I will not put up with nonsense, so you best tell me her whereabouts or you shall know the reason why."
"Nonsense is Wonderland," Cheshire said, "We're all mad here!"
"C'mon, don't bother with him!" Jefferson said, "I'll take you to the Queen!"
Jefferson and Helen approached the maze.
"Stay away from the walls," Jefferson warned, "they're deadly."
"I've got a better idea," Helen said.
She walked carefully into the maze with Jefferson. Suddenly guards came rushing towards them.
"Halt, who goes there?" the lead guard asked.
"It is I," Helen said, "Mrs. X. I have appointment with the Queen of Hearts."
"You are not on the list," the lead guard said.
"Oh, I believe I am," Helen said, as she stared into his eyes. "now take me to your Queen."
"Follow me, madam," the guard said, almost hypnotically, "Right this way."
"Excellent," Helen smirked as she and Jefferson were led to the Queen's chamber.
The King of Hearts spoke up.
"What's he doing here?" he asked, motioning toward Jefferson, who had been a prisoner of the Queen of Hearts until the curse transferred him over to Storybrooke.
"He is my guide," Helen said, "we have business to discuss."
The Queen whispered to the King.
"Her majesty would like to know what this business pertains." the King said.
"Simple," Helen said, "How does one contact the Jabberwock?"
Everyone in the throneroom gasped.
"Surely you mustn't really desire to get in touch with that monstrous beast!" the King exclaimed, "that would be suicide!"
"Oh, I have my reasons, your highness," Helen said, "now bring me the Jabberwock. I believe I have a little bit of warrior's blood in my veins."
"You'll need the Vorpal Sword," the King said, handing her the weapon, "that is what can slay the beast. Beware the Jabberwock! The jaws that bite and claws that catch!"
The Jabberwock flew over the Queen's palace. Using Jefferson's hat, Helen leapt up and gnashed the Jabberwock in the chest, causing him to bleed.
"Congratulations!" the King cried out, "You have slain the Jabberwocky!"
"I did not do it merely for your own satisfaction or glory," Helen said, as she took out a small glass vial, "I have my own ideas in mind."
She contained a sample of the Jabberwock's blood in the vial.
"Well, that was simply invigorating." Helen said, "Now then, your majesty, I was wondering if you perhaps could interest us in a small sample of your heart-tarts."
The King commanded one of the guards to bring out one of the Queen's tarts.
"This is but a small reward for your service to Wonderland," the King said.
"No thanks necessary," Helen said, "this is all the gratitude I require."
She picked up the bright red tart, and she and Jefferson left Wonderland via the looking glass.
"Well, you got what you wanted, can we leave now?" Jefferson asked.
"Not entirely," Helen said, "Not yet. I still need a small item from the magical land of Oz."
"Ok," Jefferson said, "then let's go!"
They entered through the emerald doorway.
Meanwhile, as Helen's men were transporting Pinocchio…
"What does the boss even want from that scratching post anyway?" one of the guards asked.
"Who cares," the other guard, who was driving, responded, "we just do what we're told. We don't ask questions. If we have to murder someone, we look the other way. This lady pays big. We do what we're told and she may give us a hefty Christmas bonus. I hate to see the guy who disobeyed Ms. Burton's orders. Word is she's got an army of supercriminals at her command."
"Yeah, I—hey, get out of here!" the guard yelled, swatting at a cricket.
"Shoot it!" the driver shouted.
The guard in the passenger seat picked up his AK-47 and started blasting at the cricket, but he flew away.
"The thing got away," the passenger guard said, "it won't bother us anymore."
In the back there was a third guard watching over Pinocchio.
"Wh-Where are you taking me?" Pinocchio asked.
"Don't worry, freak," the guard said, "We're just taking you for a nice little ride. The boss said she wants you out of the picture."
Suddenly, the cricket flies in front of the guards face.
"Get out of here!" he yelled.
The cricket managed to dump a bag on the guard that contained magical sleep dust that put the guard to sleep.
"Hi Pinoke!" the cricket said, "I'm here to save you!"
"Jiminy!" Pinocchio said, "Am I glad to see you, old pal!"
"The Blue Fairy gave me that sleeping dust," Jiminy said, "puts anyone to sleep for a few hours. C'mon, we've got to get you out of here!"
Jiminy unhitched the gurney that Pinocchio lied on and opened the doors.
"We're home free!" Jiminy exclaimed.
"Jiminy, there's not really any magic in this area, so I really can't move," Pinocchio said.
"I thought of that," Jiminy said, "that's why the Blue Fairy encouraged me to bring this!"
He sprayed a powder on Pinocchio that made him animated once again. They quickly escaped without the guards knowing.
Meanwhile in a Storybrooke back alley…
Emma and George regained consciousness.
"Oh man," George groaned, "My head's gonna be hurting for a week!"
"How'd we get out here?" Emma asked. "What was the Blue Fairy up to?"
"My guess is it was that wacko shapeshifter, Victoria," George said.
"She's probably on Regina's payroll." Emma said.
Suddenly, George's cell phone rang, and he answered it.
"Hello?" he asked.
"George, it's Katie," Katie said on the other end.
"Katie, what's going on?" George asked.
"Ok, I don't want to sound too freaky or anything, but Joshua and I just got a visit from some creepy, tall-dark-and-weird Scottish guy who seemed like a cross between Voldemort and the 2nd Dr. Who." Katie said, frantically.
"What did he want?" George said, putting the phone on speaker.
"He wanted…our baby," Katie said.
"Rumplestiltskin!" Emma gasped.
Meanwhile, in the Queen's new Storybrooke castle…
The Powell kids returned.
"Hello?" Daphne asked. "Regina, are you there?"
"Yes, child," Regina said, as she appeared from a cloud of black mist, "I trust you were successful in your task."
"Yes your majesty," Daphne said, "but we ran into some trouble."
She snatched the parchment away from them.
"Doesn't matter," Regina said, "as long as you got it for me. And you didn't tell your parents or anyone else about this did you?"
"No," JJ said, even though he knew that was only part of the truth. They didn't tell their parents about the parchment, but they did inform them they were sent by Regina.
"I trust you're telling the truth," Regina said, "because if you aren't I will make your lives so miserable, you will wish for the day you never got your superpowers, and you'll wish you had never been born!"
"We understand," Daphne said, "now please, let us go back to our family."
"As you wish!" Regina said, engulfing them in a whirlwind of purple fog. They are transported to another part of Storybrooke, far away from the rest of the town's citizens.
"Daphne, where are we?" JJ asked.
"I don't know," Daphne said, "but we're gonna find our way back."
Meanwhile, the former Detective O'Bannon was walking the streets of Storybrooke, when he is grabbed from behind, and is pulled around a corner.
Jim Powell pinned him up against a wall, while Charming held him at sword's edge.
"O'Bannon!" Jim said, "I thought we might find you here!"
"Jim please," O'Bannon pleaded, "I—"
"Quiet!" Jim snapped, "We know you're working for Regina and Helen! Now talk! What are they up to?"
"I don't…I don't know," O'Bannon said.
"Tell us what you know!" Jim demanded, "Where are they?"
"Last I heard, Helen Burton went back to Pacific Bay," O'Bannon said.
"We need to get over there, now," Stephanie said, "there's no telling what that woman's planning. I'll run over there!"
"Just be careful Steph," Jim said, "I don't want to lose you."
"Don't worry, honey," Stephanie said, "I can take care of myself. Besides, I know you'll find me."
"I will always find you," Jim said, as his wife sped away.
"Hey, that's our romantic line," Charming said.
Meanwhile, Helen and Jefferson entered Oz and were walking down the Yellow Brick Road.
A pink bubble floated down and popped in front of them. A woman dressed a big pink gown stood before them. A glasslike crown adorned her head.
"My name is Glinda, the Good Witch of the North!" she said, "Welcome to Munchkin land! What can I do for you two travelers?"
"How quaint," Helen chuckled, "We're looking for the home of the Wicked Witch of the West. Can you direct us toward her?"
"Oh, you don't want to go there!" Glinda exclaimed, "The Witch is most dreadful!"
"Trust me, we're prepared," Helen said, "I must speak with her."
"Just follow the yellow brick road and you shall arrive at the Wicked Witch's castle." Glinda said, "Farewell!"
As they walked down the road, they came to a clearing where a scarecrow stood nearby.
"Which way now, Jefferson?" Helen asked.
"You could go this way," a voice said, "or you could go that way. Of course, some people go both ways."
They saw the Scarecrow twisting his arms in both directions.
"What's that?" Jefferson asked.
"I think I know," Helen said, "hand me a light, Jefferson."
Jefferson gave her a lit match, to which she immediately ignited the Scarecrow, causing the man of straw to yelp uncontrollably trying to put it out.
"What was that for?" Jefferson asked.
"Amusement," Helen said, as she walked away, "Come. Let's not bother with him. We have more important matters at hand."
Soon they approached the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West.
"Watch out for the Flying Monkeys," Jefferson whispered.
"Oh, just throw them a banana, and they'll be happy!" Helen whispered back.
The Winged Monkeys spied a banana lying on the ground, and they rushed at it, while Helen and Jefferson snuck into the castle undetected.
"My, what a lovely couple you seem to be," came a shrill cackle, "too bad you won't be leaving this castle alive!"
Almost undetected.
"You must be the Wicked Witch of West," Helen said, addressed a green-faced old crone in a pointy black hat, "You can call me Mrs. X. This is my associate, Jefferson, whom you can refer to as the Mad Hatter."
"The Mad Hatter? Here?" the Witch shrieked, "He's from Wonderland!" Oz is always at war with Wonderland!"
"You could've mentioned that!" Helen said, "no matter. We'll be out of your hair soon enough. All I need is a certain item you have in your possession."
The Witch raised an eyebrow.
"What kind of item?" she asked.
"A jewel," Helen said, "a jewel that emits a powerful magical energy. I believe you are aware of the emerald-ruby-sapphire?"
"Yes, a jewel such as that would be quite powerful in the hands of the wielder." the Witch said, "What do you want it for? How do I know this isn't some trick?"
"It's no trick, I assure you," Helen said gingerly, "I have my reasons, Elphaba, but I'm afraid I can't share them with you. Take us to the jewel!"
"Why should I?" she asked, "And how do you know my true name? I never reveal that name to anyone, Only my sister, Glinda, knows it! She sent you, didn't she?"
"Enough questions!" Helen said, "Jefferson?"
Jefferson pulled what appeared to be a squirt gun from out of his hat.
"One false move from you, and you'll be a melted pile of rubbish," Helen said, "get moving!"
"That won't work on me anymore, dearie." Elphaba said, "I've been mastering my weaknesses. I know how to counter it now."
"Ah, but this is a highly potent form of hyrogenoxalate," Helen said, "formulated to counter magical incantations. One spray from that gun and you won't just melt, you'll burst. So I suggest you use your common sense like a good girl, and direct me to what I want."
"Right this way," Elphaba said.
"There's a good girl," Helen said.
The Witch handed her the glowing jewel.
"Satisfied?" Elphaba asked.
"Yes, this is most pleasing to me," Helen said, "this would've ended very differently for you had you not made the smart decision to hand me the jewel. Shall we be going, Jefferson?"
"Of course, m'lady," Jefferson said as they went through the emerald door.
"I'll get you, Mrs. X," the Witch screamed, "and your little Hatter too!"
Helen and Jefferson got out of Oz and came back to the hall of doors.
"What do you intend to do with that thing?" Jefferson asked.
"Jefferson, my plans are far too complicated for your limited mind to understand," Helen said, "I suggest you not pry into areas you aren't welcome."
She held up the glowing stone in awe.